Clarity
Disclaimer: Inuyasha does not belong to me nor does the song. That beautiful melody belongs to Zedd and the Foxes.
High dive into frozen waves where the past comes back to life
Fight fear for the selfish pain, it was worth it every time
Hold still right before we crash 'cause we both know how this ends
A clock ticks 'til it breaks your glass and I drown in you again
'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need
Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why
If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?
If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?
Izayoi stared at her love as he dressed to leave yet again. He had stayed in her bed for the night. Holding her, loving her as if he wouldn't leave in the morning. Though her body felt thoroughly satisfied by his attentions, her heart screamed at him not to go as it always did. He continued to strap on his heavy metal armor. His golden eyes were anywhere but her body. She knew it wasn't because he was disgusted with himself; but because if he looked back to her, he would never be able to leave. He would fall into her arms, her bed again. Her eyes on him, burning over his flesh, made it even harder for him not to turn to her. Though she knew the power they held over him, she stared at him still.
'This is insane,' she knew, 'but…I can never turn him away…' She grieved. 'He tethers me to him with his words, his gentle touch, and his good heart…' She sighed. 'I will live my life in isolation because I will be shunned by my people and detested by demons. I will be called a whore for falling to his charms…' She stared at his back. 'Yet…even though I know all of those things…I keep falling even farther for him. The pain seems worth it in the moments he holds me in his arms…' She sat the rest of the way up, holding the thin white sheet to her naked flesh. Unwittingly, she gave her thoughts voice.
"Do you think the pain is worth this, Mattaki?" She asked quietly. His eyes widened; his entire body locked up at the question. Not a second later, his defenses snapped up. He stared at her mirror. Her body outlined by the reflective glass.
"Having second thoughts, dear one?" He asked, though there was no affection in the endearment. Only coolness as he tried to shield his hurt from her eyes that missed nothing. She shook her head.
"Never," she spoke truthfully. She watched as the tension fled his shoulders; his eyes warmed for her again. Though she knew how this would end, she knew she could never leave him in life. He was the flame and she was the insignificant moth drawn to it over and over again, knowing she would only burn. "I am no fool. I know how this will end," she said with a sigh. "You will continue to leave me because it is your duty. You will continue to come back to me because your heart demands it…" She looked away from him, staring at herself in the mirror. "And I will continue to drown in you. Then one day, it will be I that leaves you. Not of my own choosing…but because time will ware away at me. And you," she turned her eyes back to him, "will have to go on without me."
"Stop speaking such nonsense, Izayoi," he growled. His body almost shaking with the pain her words were putting him through. The same thoughts were mirrored in his mind late at night. They had torn into him, but to hear them voiced by his sweet hime was more than he could bear. He could smell her pain in the air, darkening her sweet scent of sakura blossoms and peaches.
"So," she continued on as if she had not heard him nor seen his pain, "I will ask you again. Is the pain worth it, Mattaki?" He turned to her, wanting her to see the sincerity in his eyes as well as hear the conviction in his voice. He no longer cared of his duty. Now, all he wished to do was take such painful thoughts from his love's mind.
"Always," he forced out. She stood from her futon. The sheet could not cover her creamy thighs from his sight. He shivered and clamped down tight on the urge to run his hands over her legs once more. She moved toward him like a deadly siren. Her body called to him, persistent and loud, but it was the look in her eyes that ultimately made him fall. They were filled with such love and bone-chilling sadness. He wanted to remove that look and fill her eyes only with love. He cupped her cheek in his hand; a small sigh escaped her lips as she leaned her soft cheek into his hand. His heart already so filled with love for the young human princess seemed to swell in order to accommodate more. He ran his thumb gently back and forth over her skin and leaned down. He gently brushed his lips across hers. As he pulled away, he gently took her small hand in his and pressed it to his covered heart. The cold metal caused a chill to pass through her body. "These moments, our love, will last longer than my lifespan. Never will there be another that touches me as you have," he said simply. Izayoi soaked up those words; her aching heart was soothed for the moment. He leaned down again. His lips capturing her in a tender kiss. His lips pressed to her again and again; he would never get his fill. His hime wrapped her small arms around him, ignorant of the sharp metal scrapping against her arm and the sheet's descent to the floor as she returned his passion kiss for kiss. She melted into him as he lost his will to leave.
Like each time before, they fell into one another, heedless of common sense.
If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?
If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?
