Authors notes- I don't own the TMNT or any of their compadres.
Just a little one-shot I had going on in my head. You don't really need to have read my other stories to know what's going on, all you need to know is Raph goes out with Karma, one of my own characters. She's a mutant ninja turtle like the boys and for some reason, always puts up with Raph's sulky nature! Enjoy and happy Valentines day!
You Can Always Rely On Family.
I really do love my brothers and boyfriend. They make me laugh all the time, and most of the time not on purpose, especially at each others expenses.
Let me take you back to this morning, where I came down from bed, yawning and rubbing at my eyes to find Mikey sprawled backwards over the sofa and floor blinking in shock, Don's door closed shut, containing the genius brother inside, Splinter sat in the armchair, engrossed in the Valentines day storyline on his favourite soap and Leo and Raph having it out with each other in the kitchen. I asked what happened only to get no answer. I decided to pursue my answers in the kitchen where I found Raph pinning Leo up against a cupboard, snarling in his face. I laughed and told Raph "I know you wanna screw Leo and all, but could you perhaps hold back today?" Raph let go of Leo, only to rant at me.
"Brothers! Who would have 'em? All morning all they've done is screw up my damn plans for you!"
I managed to calm Raph down, by seating him at the table and handing him a cup of tea. He took a sip and proceeded to tell his story…
"Okay, okay, breakfast is cooking." Raph muttered to himself before turning around to see Mikey grinning at him at the table. "What Mikey?"
"Are you gunna get laid tonight Raphy boy?"
"I told you Mikey, you call me that one more time-"
"And you'll get angry, and I'll call Karm down here, and she'll calm you down and then you go upstairs to fu-"
"Mikey…" He growled a warning.
"I'm goin'! Jeez! You really are desperate to get your leg over." Mikey grinned at his brother who growled at him and lunged for him. Mikey jumped out the way and Raph proceeded to knock the table, which just happened to have some flowers, full to the brim with water, and a card for Karma on. The card survived, but the vase and flowers didn't have such luck. One smashed and the other slightly damaged, Raphael's temper snapped. Michelangelo gave a sheepish grin, before dashing out of the kitchen, a completely pissed off Raph chasing him.
"Mikey I am gunna tear yer shell off an' shove it up yer ass if you don't stay out of the damn kitchen!" Raph let him escape to Don's lab, for now. He'd get him back later. The red banded turtle sighed and trudged back into the kitchen.
"Stupid Mikey, I had a great day planned with me an' Kar, an' now the flowers are mangled. Oh well, at least the card's okay." He picked up the flowers, putting them into the sink, flipped the pancakes he was cooking and started to clear up the vase.
"Raph!" The usually good tempered Donatello came storming into the kitchen. "Why the hell did you chase Mikey in to my lab?!"
"Because that baka was ruinin' things in here!" Raph pointed to the flowers in the sink.
"That doesn't mean you can let him go ruin my lab!… Raph?" Don picked up the card, propped up on the table.
"What?"
"You didn't do this card did you?" He frowned at his brother.
"Ssh, Leo did it, but don't tell Karm… why?" Raph asks warily.
"Um…" Don blinked, "no reason."
"Donny…" Raph snarled.
"Well what did you want it to say?"
"'I love you my beautiful girl'… wait… what has he put?"
"Well, I'm sorry to say this Raph, but uh, Leo has a sense of humour." Don continued nervously, "'You are great in bed my sex slave'."
Mikey's trademark "HA HA HA HA HA HA!" came from the sofa whilst Splinter entered the kitchen to confront his sons.
"My sons, what is the meaning to all this noise? I am trying to find out if Karl finds out about Lindsey cheating on him, and all I hear-" Splinter stops, glances at the red card and stifles a small chuckle.
"Sensei, would you like Leonardo to be buried or cremated? I can do both." Raph's eye twitched and he stormed into the living room, pushing Mikey back onto the sofa. His position from the arm of the sofa, changed to him sprawled across the floor and sofa, blinking in shock. Don shook his head and muttered "I can't work in this hellhole" before slumping off to his lab whilst Splinter felt that the killing of his eldest by his second eldest could be stopped, after he found out about Karl and Lindsey.
"Do you think this is funny bro?" Raph stormed up to Leo, practicing with a dummy, and stuck the card in his face. Leo turned around, frowning, about to shout back when he noticed the card. A smile played across his lips but soon disappeared as he casually said "I thought it was a bit more like you Raph, but honestly, you should brush up on your Japanese" and turned back to the dummy.
"That's it Fearless, you stepped over the line!" Raph pushed Leo back into the dummy, Leo about to retaliate before a high pitched beeping rung from the kitchen.
Raph froze and dashed back into the kitchen, hoping what he thought had happened, hadn't. He stared down at his hard work, pancakes burnt to a crisp, flaming a little. He quickly threw the pan into the sink and flushed hot water onto the flaming pan. A moment of relief, then frustration. "You, my brothers are goin' ta pay!" Raph swung around, picking up the pan and the squashed soggy flowers before storming off into the main room. "Leo you absolute jerk, look now!"
The blue banded brother, swung around, his brother holding a black pan and some flowers looking very worse for wear.
"How's it my fault you can't cook?!" Leo shouted over the beeping of the fire alarm. "Oh jeez! Raph!" He held his hands up to where ears should be and dashed into the kitchen to stop the infernal noise. Mikey was having another laughing fit, back to his place on the arm of the sofa.
"Yer gunna pay laughin' boy!" Raph threw the pan at the unsuspecting Michelangelo, who for the second time, collapsed backwards onto the floor. A crash ended the high pitched beeping.
"I swear Leo, if you've broken another appliance, I'm going to feed you the parts!" Don shouted out from his lab and Raph stepped into the kitchen to assess the damage.
With one katana drawn, Leo stood in front of a white box, laying in two pieces on the floor, once the creator of even more chaos. Raph sighed and sat down on a chair.
"Leo, you're such a-"
"Not as much as you are!" Leo snapped back.
"Ya didn't even lemme finish!" Raph stood up, fist poised for a fight. "You think you're so right all the damn time! I'm sick of it!"
"At least I don't go around shouting my damn head off all the time and causing trouble."
Raph snarled and pinned Leo to the cupboard with his great weight, before a sweet, sleepy voice spoke.
"I know you wanna screw Leo and all, but could you perhaps hold back today?"
After angrily ranting his story at me, and I finished laughing, I took the sulky Raphael up to my room.
"They may have wrecked your plans, but they haven't wrecked mine." I sit next to him on the bed, playing with his fingers.
"What are yours?" He says still moody. I giggle devilishly and kiss him. He pulls away. "Oh." He grins and kisses me.
One thing that is always guaranteed living with four teenage mutant ninja turtles and a rat sensei obsessed with soap operas, you can always rely on them to laugh at your expense, especially if your name is Raphael!