Disclaimer: It would be nice if someone could buy them for me for a gift...but I doubt that, so I don't own them.
Bah, I'm not too confident on this one, since I already took it down once after redoing the ending and correcting those evil spelling mistakes. Die, spelling mistakes! *beats the words with a hammer*.
The idea hit me when I was thinking of doing different things for Christmas...Then warping them into something dirty-yaoi-ish, with different couples. Most likely with Naruto. Yes, I'm an idiot. I've realized that long ago. XP Hope you enjoy!
Warnings: Yaoi (SasuNaruSasu)
~*~*Christmas Shorts 1: Present Wrapping*~*~
"Stupid fricken...stuff!" the small blond shinobi cursed, desperately trying to free his foot from the glue, tape and wrapping concoction tangled around his foot. He kicked out his foot numerous times, to pull it off by hand, and was now resorting to chewing on the tape. Unfortunately, even that didn't work, and now the seventeen-year-old boy was in fetal position, with his lips adhered to the sticky side of the tape. Things couldn't get any worse.
A knock sounded at the door. Once. Twice. The rapping stopped only for a moment, and he heard a window slide up and a pair of boots land on the floor with a loud 'clomp.' Naruto said nothing as he heard the boots daintily slip off their owner's feet and rest near the wall. The quieter pattern of stocking feet creaked on the hardwood, and a black-haired head peeked out from the doorway.
Things couldn't get any worse, huh? Lady Fate had a lot of fun screwing with Naruto.
"Sasuke! What the hell are you doing here?" The troubled blond shouted, or meant to shout, but the tape fastening his lips together made the phrase sound more like: "Bable! Blut bla blell blr bla bluing bere?" With the confused tilt of the taller boys head, Naruto was sure that's all he could understand. The dark-haired boy strided up to his teammate, bent over, and tore the tape off, listening the teen's pained yelp in satisfaction.
"Dammit, you sadistic bastard! Leave me alone-" Sasuke captured the boys lower lip and sucked on it. Naruto leaned in, pushing his tongue against the other's, sealing both their mouths together. "On second thought, don't." He leaned his head on Sasuke's shoulder and began sucking on his neck, making the taller moan low in his throat.
Pulling the blond onto his lap, Sasuke whispered huskily in his ear. "So does this mean we're skipping the party?"
"Of course not!" was the heated response. "I have all these gifts to give!"
"You haven't even wrapped most of them yet," Sasuke retorted. "And the ones you have wrapped look like balls of tape."
The blond threw his hands up in exasperation, nearly hitting the other in the face. "It's not _my_ fault no one taught me the fine art of wrapping! ...You're such a shitty boyfriend."
"Why?"
"'Cause you're making fun of me for it."
"Fine," The onyx-eyed teen rolled his eyes and released his hold on his boyfriend's waist. "Go grab me something and I'll show you how to do it." Hearing the blond giggle, he snapped "Quit thinking of 'do it' as a sexual reference, you immature moron."
Naruto scuttled on his knees over to a box, picked it up gingerly, and crawled backwards to Sasuke. He stopped when he felt the other pinch his ass. "Hey!"
"Sorry, it was just so tempting." Sasuke smirked and took the box. His eyes widened. "Who the hell are these for?!" He forcefully pulled out one of the small bottles in the package. Lubricant. He poked at the handcuffs tied in the package with his pinky. "Is there something I should know about, Naruto?"
"Yeah. Merry Christmas!" The blond smiled innocently at his boyfriend's shocked face. He pointed to the box, thinking Sasuke had some strange stroke of stupidity and didn't understand. "It's your present..." He watched as Sasuke's jaw moved up and down, making him resemble a gaping fish.
'Oh Lord, he was going to put this under the tree?' Sasuke's inner thoughts screamed at him to say something, to not look like a complete idiot, but it was a losing battle. 'Screw it.' Inner Sasuke snapped. 'You're on your own.' He packed his bags and went on a trip to Hawaii, allowing other throughts to take over.
'Screw it? ...Screw him! Heheh!' Sasuke's perverted subconcious chuckled in a sadistic tone. That jolted the teen awake, and he immediately took action. Looping his arm under his boyfriend's backside, he tossed the smaller over his shoulder and ran into the bedroom, still carrying his present.
"Sasuke! What the hell are you doing! No, don't touch me there! ...Oooh, yes, there! No, wait! What about the other presents?"
The dark-haired boy straddled the other's waist and chuckled "They can wait. There's still a few more days 'till Christmas." He kissed Naruto passionately. "You'll just have to hand them out then. Right now..." He smirked and shut the bedroom door...
...Much to the Yaoi Faction's dismay, who were secretly watching the entire thing.
~*~*~*~
Well, it's done. My screwed up view on Christmas presents. Hope this gets you into a festive mood! Or maybe some other kind of mood. XD I wasn't expecting it to be so graphic, but these fics always end up writing themselves. I'm not sure if I'll add other chapters of different shorts on, or make them seperate one-shots. Maybe you guys can tell me what to do. ^^;
Next time: Turkey stuffing! (Most likely with Shikamaru!)
Bah, I'm not too confident on this one, since I already took it down once after redoing the ending and correcting those evil spelling mistakes. Die, spelling mistakes! *beats the words with a hammer*.
The idea hit me when I was thinking of doing different things for Christmas...Then warping them into something dirty-yaoi-ish, with different couples. Most likely with Naruto. Yes, I'm an idiot. I've realized that long ago. XP Hope you enjoy!
Warnings: Yaoi (SasuNaruSasu)
~*~*Christmas Shorts 1: Present Wrapping*~*~
"Stupid fricken...stuff!" the small blond shinobi cursed, desperately trying to free his foot from the glue, tape and wrapping concoction tangled around his foot. He kicked out his foot numerous times, to pull it off by hand, and was now resorting to chewing on the tape. Unfortunately, even that didn't work, and now the seventeen-year-old boy was in fetal position, with his lips adhered to the sticky side of the tape. Things couldn't get any worse.
A knock sounded at the door. Once. Twice. The rapping stopped only for a moment, and he heard a window slide up and a pair of boots land on the floor with a loud 'clomp.' Naruto said nothing as he heard the boots daintily slip off their owner's feet and rest near the wall. The quieter pattern of stocking feet creaked on the hardwood, and a black-haired head peeked out from the doorway.
Things couldn't get any worse, huh? Lady Fate had a lot of fun screwing with Naruto.
"Sasuke! What the hell are you doing here?" The troubled blond shouted, or meant to shout, but the tape fastening his lips together made the phrase sound more like: "Bable! Blut bla blell blr bla bluing bere?" With the confused tilt of the taller boys head, Naruto was sure that's all he could understand. The dark-haired boy strided up to his teammate, bent over, and tore the tape off, listening the teen's pained yelp in satisfaction.
"Dammit, you sadistic bastard! Leave me alone-" Sasuke captured the boys lower lip and sucked on it. Naruto leaned in, pushing his tongue against the other's, sealing both their mouths together. "On second thought, don't." He leaned his head on Sasuke's shoulder and began sucking on his neck, making the taller moan low in his throat.
Pulling the blond onto his lap, Sasuke whispered huskily in his ear. "So does this mean we're skipping the party?"
"Of course not!" was the heated response. "I have all these gifts to give!"
"You haven't even wrapped most of them yet," Sasuke retorted. "And the ones you have wrapped look like balls of tape."
The blond threw his hands up in exasperation, nearly hitting the other in the face. "It's not _my_ fault no one taught me the fine art of wrapping! ...You're such a shitty boyfriend."
"Why?"
"'Cause you're making fun of me for it."
"Fine," The onyx-eyed teen rolled his eyes and released his hold on his boyfriend's waist. "Go grab me something and I'll show you how to do it." Hearing the blond giggle, he snapped "Quit thinking of 'do it' as a sexual reference, you immature moron."
Naruto scuttled on his knees over to a box, picked it up gingerly, and crawled backwards to Sasuke. He stopped when he felt the other pinch his ass. "Hey!"
"Sorry, it was just so tempting." Sasuke smirked and took the box. His eyes widened. "Who the hell are these for?!" He forcefully pulled out one of the small bottles in the package. Lubricant. He poked at the handcuffs tied in the package with his pinky. "Is there something I should know about, Naruto?"
"Yeah. Merry Christmas!" The blond smiled innocently at his boyfriend's shocked face. He pointed to the box, thinking Sasuke had some strange stroke of stupidity and didn't understand. "It's your present..." He watched as Sasuke's jaw moved up and down, making him resemble a gaping fish.
'Oh Lord, he was going to put this under the tree?' Sasuke's inner thoughts screamed at him to say something, to not look like a complete idiot, but it was a losing battle. 'Screw it.' Inner Sasuke snapped. 'You're on your own.' He packed his bags and went on a trip to Hawaii, allowing other throughts to take over.
'Screw it? ...Screw him! Heheh!' Sasuke's perverted subconcious chuckled in a sadistic tone. That jolted the teen awake, and he immediately took action. Looping his arm under his boyfriend's backside, he tossed the smaller over his shoulder and ran into the bedroom, still carrying his present.
"Sasuke! What the hell are you doing! No, don't touch me there! ...Oooh, yes, there! No, wait! What about the other presents?"
The dark-haired boy straddled the other's waist and chuckled "They can wait. There's still a few more days 'till Christmas." He kissed Naruto passionately. "You'll just have to hand them out then. Right now..." He smirked and shut the bedroom door...
...Much to the Yaoi Faction's dismay, who were secretly watching the entire thing.
~*~*~*~
Well, it's done. My screwed up view on Christmas presents. Hope this gets you into a festive mood! Or maybe some other kind of mood. XD I wasn't expecting it to be so graphic, but these fics always end up writing themselves. I'm not sure if I'll add other chapters of different shorts on, or make them seperate one-shots. Maybe you guys can tell me what to do. ^^;
Next time: Turkey stuffing! (Most likely with Shikamaru!)