**********
Puberty Love
An Epic Novel "By" The American Dental Association
Oh yeah.
Author's Note: The story… isn't ours. We used the handy dandy Find Replace feature in Microsoft Word to make it better. Yes, we shamelessly ripped off a friend's story and added ourselves, characters from disturbing movies, and some people from shows we saw once at 3:30 in the morning instead of her characters/Sailor Scouts/Gundam Pilots.
And oh boy, is it more entertaining.
But, how can we ever repay her for allowing us to use this? Wait… she didn't. Hope she doesn't find out.
But here's the link to the original fic: http://fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=171007
Go read it… just don't tell her about this.
**********
Part ONE
"OMAE O KOROSU, Kronkkkkkk!!!"
"Ahahahaha! Nya nya, ya missed me!"
Three doors opened and three heads popped out as Kronk and GP the guinea pig raced down the hallway, the latter aiming his gun at the former and screaming at the top of his lungs, "Kill Kronk, kill Kronk, MUST KILL KRONKOO!!"
Katie, Hammie the hamster, and Emilee all exchanged looks, then shook their heads and retreated back to their beds as the two disappeared down the hall.
***
The wall, Wufei, and Largo all sat in the living room when Kronk came streaking down the stairs and disappearing into one of the kitchen doors. GP appeared an instant later, glancing around
the room.
As he approached the couch, Kronk appeared from the far kitchen door and inched towards the stair. At the last second, when it seemed like he appeared to have reached the first step, GP whipped around and let loose a bullet, embedding the bit of metal in the wallpaper.
Kronk, shrieking with giddy laughter, bounded up the stairs, being followed by a still-chanting GP, "Must kill Kronk, must kill Kronk, must kill Kronk!"
Wufei, The wall, and Largo watched this spectacle in silence, and, when the two had left, Largo started shouting, "Kill Kronk, Chibi Chibi Chibi, kill Kronk, Chibi Chibi Chibi, kill Kronk!"
***
Arthur Dent and Marvin smiled as they watched Rick Moranis bounce The Hobbit Baby Of Death on his knee, though Archibald Asparagus looked far from happy. Arthur went over to "her" husband and baby daughter, but no sooner had "she" sat down when there was a yell, and
Kronk and GP came racing in and circled the room twice (GP was still screaming "Must kill Kronk, must kill Kronk!"), then disappeared out the door.
Everyone watched silently, even little Hobbit Baby Of Death. Then Arthur smiled.
"Looks like another peaceful day at the Weiner Mansion!"
Everyone laughed, then Rick, Arthur, and Marvin began to coo and fuss over The Hobbit Baby Of
Death, while Archibald stared stonily out the third story window.
***
"Come here The Hobbit Baby Of Death, come to Mommy!" Arthur said happily, coaxing the small child to walk three feet from her father to her "mother".
The child took several hesitant steps from Rick's supporting hands, then toddled over to the
"woman", falling into her "mother's" hands. Rick and Arthur cooed sweetly to the
baby.
Katie, wearing a short white cotton strap dress around her presently adult body, sneered and spat. "Feh, spoiled child."
Unfortunately, Arthur heard, then handed the Hobbit Baby Of Death to Rick. "She" stalked over
to the tree where Katie was perched, hands on "her" hips. "What did you call your baby sister?"
"A spoiled child. And she's NOT a baby anymore, so stop showering her with all that sickening sweetness."
That pissed Arthur off.
"That's it. Young lady, get your butt down here now."
"No."
A dangerous looked formed in Arthur's gaze. "What... did you say?"
"I. Said. NO!"
"Don't Panic Planet Power, Make UP!"
GP, Rick, Kronk, the wall, Wufei, Archibald, Marvin, Emilee, and Hammie watched in terror as the "woman" transformed. She raised her hands into the air, and at the word "Ham Sandwich," a giant slab of ham formed.
"Now, would you care to come down on your own, or shall I help you?" Sailor Don't Panic asked, voice like biting ice.
"Thhhbbbbtttt!!!"
"Ham Sandwich of love!!!"
Katie leaped from the branch just as the ham pounded the tree with horrendous force, landing softly on her bare feet in the grass, thrusting her silver Star Wand in the air.
"Fondue Star Power, Make UP!"
Now there were two Senshi, Fondue and Don't Panic. Don't Panic held out "her" hand, and the Ultimate Sandwich Blade appeared. Fondue held out hers, and her Fondue Steaming Pot sparkled into existence.
"Sandwich..." Don't Panic called, holding the blade in front of "her", the face glowing.
"Steaming cheese..." Fondue held the shining pot above her head, beams of light collecting at the pot.
"Slice!!!"
"EXPLOSION!!!"
The two beams collided, pushing against the other. Both Fondue and Don't Panic began to strain under the pressure of the power being exerted from their weapons, and the others were afraid that they would either kill each other or themselves, but didn't dare to interfere.
Finally, the energy depleted itself and both dissipated. Don't Panic collapsed, and a second later
there was a whispered "owie,", and a real whisper. Looking up, "she" saw Marvin holding his staff and glaring at Fondue, who was lying on her side, pot embedded in the ground three feet away.
Apparently, Fondue had tried to attack Don't Panic during "her" collapse, and Marvin had intervened.
Marvin spun his Depression Stick, thumping it onto the ground. "How dare you attack one who is helpless, especially your 'mother'! Where is your honor?" he spat, glaring.
"Marvin, Don't Panic, stop!" Archibald yelled.
Slowly, Fondue sat up, shining briefly before collapsing, no longer in Senshi form. Archibald ran
past a shocked Don't Panic and Marvin, kneeling beside Katie and helping her up, hugging her tightly. "Archibald Papa," Katie sobbed softly, clutching the
asparagus.
Archibald helped Katie limp away, rubbing her hair and trying to stop her crying. "Archibald," Marvin said, stopping suddenly when Archibald leveled his Asparagus
Sword at the Senshi.
"Back off, Marvin. You've done enough harm already," he glared.
"Where is YOUR honor? Attacking one so many years younger than yourself while their back is turned? How could you?"
Marvin opened her mouth to say something, then shut it and hung his head.
A small black wombat with extremely large (larger than Largo's or the Hobbit Baby Of Death's) green eyes bounded into the grouping. It jumped onto the porch by Largo, sat down, and said...
"Haknif…"
Largo looked at it for a second, then grinned and said, "Chibi Chibi, haknif, Chibi Chibi, haknif," over and over.
"Wolfwood, are you SURE we're lost?"
"Dammit, weird bellbottoms guy, shut UP already! Of course we're..."
Two men, one wearing an all black suit with cross cufflinks, blue eyes that were smoky, and short, shaggy black hair and carrying a cross wrapped in a canvas tied with belts was slung across his back, and the other man was wearing lavender bellbottoms. They walked into the yard from a group of trees.
They looked at the group, and the group looked at them.
Suddenly, the weird bellbottoms guy saw Katie's tear-streaked face (and her long, un-covered legs), then turned totally bishounen and bounded over to her and Archibald, snatching up the surprised woman's hand.
"My fair maiden," he said with a debonair voice, "Why is your angelic face hidden behind such marks of sadness? And yet, the tears make you eyes sparkle like a rare gem in the starlit night." Katie immediately turned red with pleasure.
Then he noticed Archibald. "Ah, but I see you are already in the company of another man. But, perhaps I may steal you away from him, and we shall ride into the eternal sunset. Please, fair maiden, marry me, and I shall be your humble servant of the mayfly known as love."
The mecha pilots, Emilee, and Hammie stared, Katie turned beet red, Marvin and Archibald made choking noises, and Don't Panic had a conniption.
"She" was up in the man's face, yelling, "Who the HELL do you think you are, proposing to my DAUGHTER?! Do you have any idea IDEA how much YOUNGER than you she IS?! AND YOU JUST MET HER!!"
The man blinked rapidly. "Uuuh... they call me that weird bellbottoms guy."
"Nicholas D. Wolfwood!" the other man waved cheerfully, lighting a crumpled cigarette.
"... and by the looks of it, this young lady CAN'T be your daughter, because she looks my age, and that just so happens to be older than you my dear..." He looked "her" up and down, trying to figure out why she was wearing that silly costume.
"Sailor Senshi," Hammie added helpfully.
"...my dear Sailor Senshi." That weird bellbottoms guy said, grinning. Then he looked confused.
"Uh... what's a Sailor Senshi?"
The Senshi and mecha pilots all smacked their foreheads in unison, then Katie smiled. "Here, I'll
show you!" She held up her wand, Archibald backing away.
Don't Panic shrieked, "Katie, don't you even THINK about...", but it was too late.
"Fondue Star Power Make UP!"
In yet ANOTHER flash of sreaming silver light and gold ribbons, Sailor Fondue stood in her silver and gold suit, smiling cutely at a gaping weird bellbottoms guy.
"Dammit, KatieO, I TOLD you," Don't Panic growled, coming up and trying to catch Fondue, but in a flash the Senshi was no longer an adult, but a six- year-old, and she shrieked and hid behind that weird bellbottoms guy's legs.
"Now I'M the baby and you HAVE to love me as much as the Hobbit Baby Of Death!" she cried, sticking her tongue at Don't Panic and Rick, but she was near tears despite her scorning tone.
Rick approached the two, carrying a sleeping Hobbit Baby Of Death. "But, KatieO -"
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Chibi Fondue screamed (making everyone wince), and The Hobbit Baby Of Death awoke, crying loudly.
Don't Panic and Rick both rushed to hush the baby, and Chibi Fondue burst into full fledged tears
herself.
Detransforming and reverting to her original age (16), she fled from behind that weird bellbottoms guy and towards the house. Archibald lunged and caught her wrist, but Katie twisted away, wrist making a violent *snap*, and she slammed into the house, door banging shut. Archibald and GP followed.
Arthur (having detransformed) and Rick didn't even notice the scene, they were so busy with
the Hobbit Baby Of Death, whose Don't Panic symbol glowed brightly as she wailed.
All of a sudden, the baby seemed to realize that Katie was no longer around, and her crying stopped immediately. Everyone sighed in relief. Marvin (having also detransformed) approached Wolfwood and that weird bellbottoms guy.
"We're very sorry. It seems that you have apparently caught the Weiner- Dents in a little family feud. I assure you, Katie isn't always this troublesome."
That weird bellbottoms guy looked at her. "You mean the girl who changed her age and clothes? How did she do that?"
Arthur, Marvin, Hammie, and Emilee all exchanged looks.
"Weeell..."
***
Katie whimpered in pain. GP glanced quickly up at his ex-girlfriend, then down at her
wrist. He turned it gently one way then the other, and almost got kicked between the legs and slapped in the face. He grinned nervously.
"I guess that hurt."
Both Archibald and Katie glared at him, and the teen almost kicked him again. He grinned again, then grew serious.
"Well, it looks like a minor break, and it should heal just fine. You just need to set it and leave it
alone."
Archibald turned pink and looked down. "Katie, I'm sorry, I didn't mean -" he was cut off by Katie's laugh.
"Archibald Papa, it's okay. It doesn't hurt that bad."
GP turned.
"Archibald, could you get some bandages?" he asked.
Archibald nodded and left, shutting the door with a click. Katie let out a heavy sigh, and GP looked up. She had a distant, preoccupied look on her face.
"Katie..." GP murmured, bringing his face close to hers.
Before she could do anything, GP had his mouth over hers, pressing gently.
Katie pushed him a way with her good hand.
"What are you doing, GP? I thought we agreed --"
"I know that, but," he cut her off, "When that weird bellbottoms guy..."
"Your jealous! Aren't you? Aren't you, GP the guinea pig?!"
GP looked at her silently, then nodded.
"Of course I'm jealous! Why wouldn't I be?"
Before Katie could answer, Archibald came in, carrying an armload of bandages, looking very flustered.
"Did I get enough?" he asked, dumping the load onto the bed.
GP and Katie stared first at Archibald, then the pile, then back at Archibald. They burst into
laughter.
"WHAT?!?!"
***
"... and that explains that!"
That weird bellbottoms guy blinked very rapidly, then shook his head.
He, Wolfwood, the pilots and the Senshi were all gathered around the dining room and in the kitchen, and the Senshi had just finished explaining what the Senshi, mecha pilots, and Earth was.
That weird bellbottoms guy and Wolfwood claimed that they were from a planet named Gunsmoke, and they had absolutely no clue how they came to Earth. None of the others had the faintest idea, either.
Their attention was suddenly diverted to the stairway, as Archibald, GP, and Katie came down,
Katie's wrist in a make-shift sling. The Hobbit Baby Of Death saw her sister's arm wrapped in white, so she wanted to play with it. Wolfwood, not wanting to be caught in another encounter with Senshi, made a quiet exit for the backyard.
When the child began to reach and whimper, Katie turned her face away and sat clear on the other side of the room. Arthur glared and came over to "her" daughter.
"Katie, I'm very disappointed in you! Engaging in battle with me, transforming and changing your
physical body..."
Then, just to piss off her mother, Katie phased into her 20-year-old form, the one she had been in earlier. That weird bellbottoms guy's eyes lit up, and he dashed over to her.
"HEY...!!" Arthur yelled as "she" was pushed out of the way.
"So, you ARE the maiden with the angel's face! But, where is your beau? Should he not be tending to you in your current predicament?"
Archibald coughed, drawing his attention. That weird bellbottoms guy straightened as Archibald spoke.
"Well, Mr. Weird Bellbottoms Guy, I can obviously see that you show an affection for my little KatieO,"
"Archibald Papa!"
"What?" Archibald grinned when she saw the look of confusion on that weird bellbottoms guy's face.
He went over, drew an arm around Katie's shoulder and hugged her, ruffling the girl's hair.
"Aww, Archibald Papa, your embarrassing me!"
Archibald laughed, stood, and walked to sit beside Kronk, winking at that weird bellbottoms guy as he walked past, clearly freaking him out and confusing him. Kronk laughed, clapping a hand on her shoulder.
"Asparagus, your just gonna confuse the poor guy!"
"ASPARAGUS!?!? But I thought..." That weird bellbottoms guy sputtered, eyes bulging,
"That Archibald Papa was a boy?" Emilee said. That weird bellbottoms guy nodded weakly.
"I see we forgot to mention a few details. Archibald is an asparagus, and she is also a Sailor Senshi, along with KatieO."
That weird bellbottoms guy sank down beside Katie, holding his head. She patted him sympathetically on the back, and he immediately seized her around the waist, grinning.
"So, now that I know you DON'T have a boyfriend, will you marry me, fair maiden?"
"DON'T PANIC PLANET POWER, MAKE UP!!!"
"FONDUE STAR POWER, MAKE UP!!!"
"MARVIN PLANET POWER, MAKE UP!!!"
"Here we go again..."
**********
Wasn't it gorgeous? Oh, I know it was.
Well, here's the shpeil. I'm now gonna tell you what all the characters are from, 'cause I'm really really bored.
Katie/Emilee: That… would be us.
Largo: LARGO! WE WROTE IT! GO READ! NOW! [end shameless plug]
Kronk: The Emperor's New Groove
GP the Guinea Pig: A show that came on at 3:30 in the morning on Animal Planet called Once Upon A Hamster.
Hammie the Hamster: See above.
Archibald: Veggie Tales
Marvin: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the greatest book in existence.
Arthur: Yeah. Above.
That weird bellbottoms guy: A Christian anime from the 70s that came on at 3:00 in the morning… called Flying House. IT WAS SO BEAUTIFULLL!!!!
Wolfwood: (actually, the only character we didn't change…) Trigun.
Rick Moranis: He actually exists, scarily enough. He's that scary guy from Little Shop of Horrors and Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.
And I think that's everyone. Review. Now.
Puberty Love
An Epic Novel "By" The American Dental Association
Oh yeah.
Author's Note: The story… isn't ours. We used the handy dandy Find Replace feature in Microsoft Word to make it better. Yes, we shamelessly ripped off a friend's story and added ourselves, characters from disturbing movies, and some people from shows we saw once at 3:30 in the morning instead of her characters/Sailor Scouts/Gundam Pilots.
And oh boy, is it more entertaining.
But, how can we ever repay her for allowing us to use this? Wait… she didn't. Hope she doesn't find out.
But here's the link to the original fic: http://fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=171007
Go read it… just don't tell her about this.
**********
Part ONE
"OMAE O KOROSU, Kronkkkkkk!!!"
"Ahahahaha! Nya nya, ya missed me!"
Three doors opened and three heads popped out as Kronk and GP the guinea pig raced down the hallway, the latter aiming his gun at the former and screaming at the top of his lungs, "Kill Kronk, kill Kronk, MUST KILL KRONKOO!!"
Katie, Hammie the hamster, and Emilee all exchanged looks, then shook their heads and retreated back to their beds as the two disappeared down the hall.
***
The wall, Wufei, and Largo all sat in the living room when Kronk came streaking down the stairs and disappearing into one of the kitchen doors. GP appeared an instant later, glancing around
the room.
As he approached the couch, Kronk appeared from the far kitchen door and inched towards the stair. At the last second, when it seemed like he appeared to have reached the first step, GP whipped around and let loose a bullet, embedding the bit of metal in the wallpaper.
Kronk, shrieking with giddy laughter, bounded up the stairs, being followed by a still-chanting GP, "Must kill Kronk, must kill Kronk, must kill Kronk!"
Wufei, The wall, and Largo watched this spectacle in silence, and, when the two had left, Largo started shouting, "Kill Kronk, Chibi Chibi Chibi, kill Kronk, Chibi Chibi Chibi, kill Kronk!"
***
Arthur Dent and Marvin smiled as they watched Rick Moranis bounce The Hobbit Baby Of Death on his knee, though Archibald Asparagus looked far from happy. Arthur went over to "her" husband and baby daughter, but no sooner had "she" sat down when there was a yell, and
Kronk and GP came racing in and circled the room twice (GP was still screaming "Must kill Kronk, must kill Kronk!"), then disappeared out the door.
Everyone watched silently, even little Hobbit Baby Of Death. Then Arthur smiled.
"Looks like another peaceful day at the Weiner Mansion!"
Everyone laughed, then Rick, Arthur, and Marvin began to coo and fuss over The Hobbit Baby Of
Death, while Archibald stared stonily out the third story window.
***
"Come here The Hobbit Baby Of Death, come to Mommy!" Arthur said happily, coaxing the small child to walk three feet from her father to her "mother".
The child took several hesitant steps from Rick's supporting hands, then toddled over to the
"woman", falling into her "mother's" hands. Rick and Arthur cooed sweetly to the
baby.
Katie, wearing a short white cotton strap dress around her presently adult body, sneered and spat. "Feh, spoiled child."
Unfortunately, Arthur heard, then handed the Hobbit Baby Of Death to Rick. "She" stalked over
to the tree where Katie was perched, hands on "her" hips. "What did you call your baby sister?"
"A spoiled child. And she's NOT a baby anymore, so stop showering her with all that sickening sweetness."
That pissed Arthur off.
"That's it. Young lady, get your butt down here now."
"No."
A dangerous looked formed in Arthur's gaze. "What... did you say?"
"I. Said. NO!"
"Don't Panic Planet Power, Make UP!"
GP, Rick, Kronk, the wall, Wufei, Archibald, Marvin, Emilee, and Hammie watched in terror as the "woman" transformed. She raised her hands into the air, and at the word "Ham Sandwich," a giant slab of ham formed.
"Now, would you care to come down on your own, or shall I help you?" Sailor Don't Panic asked, voice like biting ice.
"Thhhbbbbtttt!!!"
"Ham Sandwich of love!!!"
Katie leaped from the branch just as the ham pounded the tree with horrendous force, landing softly on her bare feet in the grass, thrusting her silver Star Wand in the air.
"Fondue Star Power, Make UP!"
Now there were two Senshi, Fondue and Don't Panic. Don't Panic held out "her" hand, and the Ultimate Sandwich Blade appeared. Fondue held out hers, and her Fondue Steaming Pot sparkled into existence.
"Sandwich..." Don't Panic called, holding the blade in front of "her", the face glowing.
"Steaming cheese..." Fondue held the shining pot above her head, beams of light collecting at the pot.
"Slice!!!"
"EXPLOSION!!!"
The two beams collided, pushing against the other. Both Fondue and Don't Panic began to strain under the pressure of the power being exerted from their weapons, and the others were afraid that they would either kill each other or themselves, but didn't dare to interfere.
Finally, the energy depleted itself and both dissipated. Don't Panic collapsed, and a second later
there was a whispered "owie,", and a real whisper. Looking up, "she" saw Marvin holding his staff and glaring at Fondue, who was lying on her side, pot embedded in the ground three feet away.
Apparently, Fondue had tried to attack Don't Panic during "her" collapse, and Marvin had intervened.
Marvin spun his Depression Stick, thumping it onto the ground. "How dare you attack one who is helpless, especially your 'mother'! Where is your honor?" he spat, glaring.
"Marvin, Don't Panic, stop!" Archibald yelled.
Slowly, Fondue sat up, shining briefly before collapsing, no longer in Senshi form. Archibald ran
past a shocked Don't Panic and Marvin, kneeling beside Katie and helping her up, hugging her tightly. "Archibald Papa," Katie sobbed softly, clutching the
asparagus.
Archibald helped Katie limp away, rubbing her hair and trying to stop her crying. "Archibald," Marvin said, stopping suddenly when Archibald leveled his Asparagus
Sword at the Senshi.
"Back off, Marvin. You've done enough harm already," he glared.
"Where is YOUR honor? Attacking one so many years younger than yourself while their back is turned? How could you?"
Marvin opened her mouth to say something, then shut it and hung his head.
A small black wombat with extremely large (larger than Largo's or the Hobbit Baby Of Death's) green eyes bounded into the grouping. It jumped onto the porch by Largo, sat down, and said...
"Haknif…"
Largo looked at it for a second, then grinned and said, "Chibi Chibi, haknif, Chibi Chibi, haknif," over and over.
"Wolfwood, are you SURE we're lost?"
"Dammit, weird bellbottoms guy, shut UP already! Of course we're..."
Two men, one wearing an all black suit with cross cufflinks, blue eyes that were smoky, and short, shaggy black hair and carrying a cross wrapped in a canvas tied with belts was slung across his back, and the other man was wearing lavender bellbottoms. They walked into the yard from a group of trees.
They looked at the group, and the group looked at them.
Suddenly, the weird bellbottoms guy saw Katie's tear-streaked face (and her long, un-covered legs), then turned totally bishounen and bounded over to her and Archibald, snatching up the surprised woman's hand.
"My fair maiden," he said with a debonair voice, "Why is your angelic face hidden behind such marks of sadness? And yet, the tears make you eyes sparkle like a rare gem in the starlit night." Katie immediately turned red with pleasure.
Then he noticed Archibald. "Ah, but I see you are already in the company of another man. But, perhaps I may steal you away from him, and we shall ride into the eternal sunset. Please, fair maiden, marry me, and I shall be your humble servant of the mayfly known as love."
The mecha pilots, Emilee, and Hammie stared, Katie turned beet red, Marvin and Archibald made choking noises, and Don't Panic had a conniption.
"She" was up in the man's face, yelling, "Who the HELL do you think you are, proposing to my DAUGHTER?! Do you have any idea IDEA how much YOUNGER than you she IS?! AND YOU JUST MET HER!!"
The man blinked rapidly. "Uuuh... they call me that weird bellbottoms guy."
"Nicholas D. Wolfwood!" the other man waved cheerfully, lighting a crumpled cigarette.
"... and by the looks of it, this young lady CAN'T be your daughter, because she looks my age, and that just so happens to be older than you my dear..." He looked "her" up and down, trying to figure out why she was wearing that silly costume.
"Sailor Senshi," Hammie added helpfully.
"...my dear Sailor Senshi." That weird bellbottoms guy said, grinning. Then he looked confused.
"Uh... what's a Sailor Senshi?"
The Senshi and mecha pilots all smacked their foreheads in unison, then Katie smiled. "Here, I'll
show you!" She held up her wand, Archibald backing away.
Don't Panic shrieked, "Katie, don't you even THINK about...", but it was too late.
"Fondue Star Power Make UP!"
In yet ANOTHER flash of sreaming silver light and gold ribbons, Sailor Fondue stood in her silver and gold suit, smiling cutely at a gaping weird bellbottoms guy.
"Dammit, KatieO, I TOLD you," Don't Panic growled, coming up and trying to catch Fondue, but in a flash the Senshi was no longer an adult, but a six- year-old, and she shrieked and hid behind that weird bellbottoms guy's legs.
"Now I'M the baby and you HAVE to love me as much as the Hobbit Baby Of Death!" she cried, sticking her tongue at Don't Panic and Rick, but she was near tears despite her scorning tone.
Rick approached the two, carrying a sleeping Hobbit Baby Of Death. "But, KatieO -"
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Chibi Fondue screamed (making everyone wince), and The Hobbit Baby Of Death awoke, crying loudly.
Don't Panic and Rick both rushed to hush the baby, and Chibi Fondue burst into full fledged tears
herself.
Detransforming and reverting to her original age (16), she fled from behind that weird bellbottoms guy and towards the house. Archibald lunged and caught her wrist, but Katie twisted away, wrist making a violent *snap*, and she slammed into the house, door banging shut. Archibald and GP followed.
Arthur (having detransformed) and Rick didn't even notice the scene, they were so busy with
the Hobbit Baby Of Death, whose Don't Panic symbol glowed brightly as she wailed.
All of a sudden, the baby seemed to realize that Katie was no longer around, and her crying stopped immediately. Everyone sighed in relief. Marvin (having also detransformed) approached Wolfwood and that weird bellbottoms guy.
"We're very sorry. It seems that you have apparently caught the Weiner- Dents in a little family feud. I assure you, Katie isn't always this troublesome."
That weird bellbottoms guy looked at her. "You mean the girl who changed her age and clothes? How did she do that?"
Arthur, Marvin, Hammie, and Emilee all exchanged looks.
"Weeell..."
***
Katie whimpered in pain. GP glanced quickly up at his ex-girlfriend, then down at her
wrist. He turned it gently one way then the other, and almost got kicked between the legs and slapped in the face. He grinned nervously.
"I guess that hurt."
Both Archibald and Katie glared at him, and the teen almost kicked him again. He grinned again, then grew serious.
"Well, it looks like a minor break, and it should heal just fine. You just need to set it and leave it
alone."
Archibald turned pink and looked down. "Katie, I'm sorry, I didn't mean -" he was cut off by Katie's laugh.
"Archibald Papa, it's okay. It doesn't hurt that bad."
GP turned.
"Archibald, could you get some bandages?" he asked.
Archibald nodded and left, shutting the door with a click. Katie let out a heavy sigh, and GP looked up. She had a distant, preoccupied look on her face.
"Katie..." GP murmured, bringing his face close to hers.
Before she could do anything, GP had his mouth over hers, pressing gently.
Katie pushed him a way with her good hand.
"What are you doing, GP? I thought we agreed --"
"I know that, but," he cut her off, "When that weird bellbottoms guy..."
"Your jealous! Aren't you? Aren't you, GP the guinea pig?!"
GP looked at her silently, then nodded.
"Of course I'm jealous! Why wouldn't I be?"
Before Katie could answer, Archibald came in, carrying an armload of bandages, looking very flustered.
"Did I get enough?" he asked, dumping the load onto the bed.
GP and Katie stared first at Archibald, then the pile, then back at Archibald. They burst into
laughter.
"WHAT?!?!"
***
"... and that explains that!"
That weird bellbottoms guy blinked very rapidly, then shook his head.
He, Wolfwood, the pilots and the Senshi were all gathered around the dining room and in the kitchen, and the Senshi had just finished explaining what the Senshi, mecha pilots, and Earth was.
That weird bellbottoms guy and Wolfwood claimed that they were from a planet named Gunsmoke, and they had absolutely no clue how they came to Earth. None of the others had the faintest idea, either.
Their attention was suddenly diverted to the stairway, as Archibald, GP, and Katie came down,
Katie's wrist in a make-shift sling. The Hobbit Baby Of Death saw her sister's arm wrapped in white, so she wanted to play with it. Wolfwood, not wanting to be caught in another encounter with Senshi, made a quiet exit for the backyard.
When the child began to reach and whimper, Katie turned her face away and sat clear on the other side of the room. Arthur glared and came over to "her" daughter.
"Katie, I'm very disappointed in you! Engaging in battle with me, transforming and changing your
physical body..."
Then, just to piss off her mother, Katie phased into her 20-year-old form, the one she had been in earlier. That weird bellbottoms guy's eyes lit up, and he dashed over to her.
"HEY...!!" Arthur yelled as "she" was pushed out of the way.
"So, you ARE the maiden with the angel's face! But, where is your beau? Should he not be tending to you in your current predicament?"
Archibald coughed, drawing his attention. That weird bellbottoms guy straightened as Archibald spoke.
"Well, Mr. Weird Bellbottoms Guy, I can obviously see that you show an affection for my little KatieO,"
"Archibald Papa!"
"What?" Archibald grinned when she saw the look of confusion on that weird bellbottoms guy's face.
He went over, drew an arm around Katie's shoulder and hugged her, ruffling the girl's hair.
"Aww, Archibald Papa, your embarrassing me!"
Archibald laughed, stood, and walked to sit beside Kronk, winking at that weird bellbottoms guy as he walked past, clearly freaking him out and confusing him. Kronk laughed, clapping a hand on her shoulder.
"Asparagus, your just gonna confuse the poor guy!"
"ASPARAGUS!?!? But I thought..." That weird bellbottoms guy sputtered, eyes bulging,
"That Archibald Papa was a boy?" Emilee said. That weird bellbottoms guy nodded weakly.
"I see we forgot to mention a few details. Archibald is an asparagus, and she is also a Sailor Senshi, along with KatieO."
That weird bellbottoms guy sank down beside Katie, holding his head. She patted him sympathetically on the back, and he immediately seized her around the waist, grinning.
"So, now that I know you DON'T have a boyfriend, will you marry me, fair maiden?"
"DON'T PANIC PLANET POWER, MAKE UP!!!"
"FONDUE STAR POWER, MAKE UP!!!"
"MARVIN PLANET POWER, MAKE UP!!!"
"Here we go again..."
**********
Wasn't it gorgeous? Oh, I know it was.
Well, here's the shpeil. I'm now gonna tell you what all the characters are from, 'cause I'm really really bored.
Katie/Emilee: That… would be us.
Largo: LARGO! WE WROTE IT! GO READ! NOW! [end shameless plug]
Kronk: The Emperor's New Groove
GP the Guinea Pig: A show that came on at 3:30 in the morning on Animal Planet called Once Upon A Hamster.
Hammie the Hamster: See above.
Archibald: Veggie Tales
Marvin: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the greatest book in existence.
Arthur: Yeah. Above.
That weird bellbottoms guy: A Christian anime from the 70s that came on at 3:00 in the morning… called Flying House. IT WAS SO BEAUTIFULLL!!!!
Wolfwood: (actually, the only character we didn't change…) Trigun.
Rick Moranis: He actually exists, scarily enough. He's that scary guy from Little Shop of Horrors and Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.
And I think that's everyone. Review. Now.