OK, so this was written for the Supernatural.tv challenge "Prompt My Paper." The prompts were:
1. A Spiderman action figure
2. Chap stick
3. A wig
4. Jelly beans
5. Dean saying 'cowabunga.'
Anyway, I tried to make it as funny as possible and wanted to see what people think of it so I'm posting here. Please review!
Disclaimer: The show isn't mine. Niether are the characters. I know, it's so sad!
A Prompt Response
The mall was a busy place, what with it being summer and the schools being out. Teenage girls ran around the crowded center, giggling and pointing as two handsome men strolled casually through the halls, glancing into every shop as they passed, obviously looking for something.
"I told you Dean," Sam Winchester complained as his older brother looked back and smirked at one particularly attractive gaggle of girls, making them swoon, "they don't sell chap stick in malls. Why do you need it, anyway? Isn't it kinda girly?"
"No, that's lip gloss," Dean corrected, "and, for your information, I need it because of a girl."
Sam scrunched up his face in confusion. "What?"
"You remember that girl in that small ville in Kansas?"
"You mean that town with all the rocks?"
Dean nodded. "That's it."
"What's that got to do with you dragging me through a mall to find chap stick that they don't even sell here?"
The older man shrugged. "What can I say? She was all over me. I almost passed out once from lack of oxygen."
"And what was her name, again?" Sammy asked, disgusted.
"I dunno. Started with an L. Laura, maybe? No, that wasn't it. Kara?"
"That starts with a K."
Dean shrugged again. "Her name doesn't matter. Point is, she nearly lip locked me to death. And she was so needy. And pushy. And paranoid. She thought I was keeping things from her."
"How'd you get away?" Sam asked, glancing into a shop and stopping dead.
"Faked my death. Apparently, it's not uncommon in that town to get crushed by falling boulders. Weird, huh, Sammy?" He stopped, looking back at his brother. "Sam?"
Sam raised a shaking hand to point into the store. "Sp-sp-sp."
"Stuttering," Dean observed, stepping back to the entrance of the store and following his brother's gaze into its brightly colored depths. That was when he saw it. "Oh."
"Spiderman," Sam whispered, his eyes wide with fright.
"It's a doll," Dean said, cocking an eyebrow at his brother's reaction. Ever since they'd been little kids, Sammy had been terrified of spiders, a fear that had grown after he'd discovered that getting bitten by one could turn a person into a super-powered freak of nature.
"Action figure," Sammy hissed, stepping nonchalantly away from the doorway to the store to hide behind the shorter man, "do you know what that means?"
"It's manly?"
"No," Sam moaned, digging his nails into Dean's jacket and crouching behind his brother to prevent the evil action figure from seeing him, "it's ready for action. It's bendy! You can pose it! It probably has little spider teeth that are just waiting to turn me into some sort of monster like Tobey McGuire! He never stood a chance!"
Dean just stared into the shop, eyeing the little Spidey toy. It didn't look dangerous. "Ok, you know what? We're getting over this right now." He reached behind his back and grabbed Sam's hand, pulling him forcefully into the store. "It's in a freakin' toy store, Sam. What could it possibly do to you?"
"Haven't you seen Toy Story?"
"Dude, come off it. Spiderman is not out to get you. Look, it's sitting on a shelf, surrounded by Batman and Superman. It can't hurt you."
"But Tobey McGuire-"
Dean rolled his eyes. "Adam West and Tom Welling teamed up to save him, ok?"
"What about Christian Bale and Brandon Routh? What did they do?"
"Wore tighter spandex. Come on." He pulled his brother toward the toy on the shelf, increasing his efforts as Sam dug his heels into the carpet. Finally, they reached the shelf. "Touch it, Sam."
"It's gonna bite me!"
"Touch it or I'll buy it and you'll wake up next to it some day."
Sam looked down at his brother with wide eyes. "You wouldn't."
"Try me."
Gulping back his fear, Sam reached out a large hand and gingerly poked the red and blue action figure.
"See?" Dean grinned, "that wasn't so hard, now, was it? Oh, look, jelly beans!"
Sam turned to see the counter his brother was walking towards. "You're kidding, right?"
"Dude, I just had to drag you into a freaking toy store. I need to refuel."
Sammy rolled his eyes and stepped carefully away from the Spiderman toy. He gazed around the store, knowing that they wouldn't have any chap stick, but looking just in case. Across the room was a large hat rack covered in different wigs. Glancing back at Dean as the older man made his purchase, Sam headed to the display.
He reached out and plucked a bright blue mohawk from the rack, turning it over in his hands and looking back at Dean. The older man was busy chatting up the pretty blonde behind the counter and holding up the line of easily-annoyed six-year-olds. Deciding that he had time to goof off, Sammy stuck the wig on his head and checked out the mirror.
"Add some tattoos and a couple of piercing and you know who you'd be?" a very familiar voice asked from behind him.
Moaning and swiping the wig from his head, Sam turned to face his very amused older brother. "Who?"
"That guy," Dean said. Sam stared blankly at him, having no idea who he was talking about. "From that movie," Dean added. Another blank stare. Dean sighed. "With the sandwiches." Obviously he was starting to get annoyed.
"Oh," Sam said, "the one about the-?"
"Yeah."
"And with the-?"
"Uh-huh."
"Where they-?"
"Yep."
Sam nodded. "Gotcha."
Dean looked over the display of wigs, appraising them as his brother replaced the one he'd taken. He grinned and picked one up, then looked at Sam and smiled. "You know," he muttered, turning the shaggy mop over in his hands, "add a couple of inches, and this could belong to you."
"My hair isn't that long," Sam argued, turning away form the display and heading out of the store, careful to put as much distance as possible between himself and the evil Spiderman toy. "Come on. Weren't we looking for something?"
Dean nodded and replaced the wig, following his brother out of the shop. "I asked the cute girl at the desk where I could find some chap stick for my sister," he said through a mouthful of jelly beans.
"So you admit that it's girly?"
"She said there was a shop down this way that had some," Dean said, ignoring his brother and leading the way down the crowded halls, winking at a girl and smirking as she fell over in a faint. "Still got it."
"You're cruel," Sam hissed.
"Spider-pig," Dean sang softly, "Spider-pig. Does whatever a Spider-pig does."
"Shut up."
"Can he swing from a web? No he can't, 'cause he's a pig!"
"Dean, I mean it. You know that movie freaked me out. Pigs are not supposed to walk on the ceiling!"
Dean grinned and turned into one of the stores. "Relax, Plopper," he said as he began his search for the ever-elusive chap stick, "we're here."
"You remember what the pig did to the man who called him Plopper, Dean?"
"Here it is," Dean said happily, ignoring his brother for the second, and probably not final, time that day. The boys stood in front of a sleek black shelf with large boxes of different flavored chap sticks and lip glosses. Dean smiled as he found his favorite brand. "I can't believe they carry it," he marveled.
"I can't believe you have a favorite brand of lip gloss," Sam mused.
"Chap stick, Sammy. It's more manly. Especially this brand. It's sweat, blood, and tears flavored."
Sam cocked an eyebrow and pulled the little cylinder out of his brother's hand. "And it's called-"
"Cowabunga!" Dean grinned, swiping his chap stick back and heading to the front counter to pay.
Sammy shook his head and looked back at the shelf, eyes roving over the boxes. He gasped and stumbled back as he caught sight of the box in the center, which was full of red and blue tubes with a very distinct cartoon character drawn on them. "Sp-sp-sp."
"Look out!" Dean called over his shoulder, finally finishing the song. "He is a Spider-pig!"
So, any reviews:D