A/N: I'm on a Digimon kick. Thanks a lot! By the way, this is my favourite Digimon couple EVER.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Tada!
Kari has a boyfriend. She's happy. In fact, she's in love. She's told her boyfriend those three little words numerous times. She's had them said back to her. She's happy. She's fine. Kari loves him, right?
There's a calendar hanging beside Kari's bed. There are twelve months, twelve pages, and twelve colorful pictures of flowers. This month the flowers are sunflowers. They're large and yellow and seem to be blowing in a non-existent breeze. The sun is shining down on them, and the sky behind them is a clear, crisp blue.
Below the pictures are boxes. Tiny boxes with tiny numbers. And each day, in each box, Kari writes a larger number. One in huge, pink highlighter. Sometimes it's high, sometimes it's low. It depends on how many times she sees him.
She's a horrible person. She knows it. Everytime she holds hands with her boyfriend, she feels guilty—dirty. She's a terrible, terrible human being and deserves to be severely punished. But no one ever punishes her. No one even really knows what the numbers on her calendar mean.
It happens all the time in school. There she is, snuggling up to her boyfriend and feeling things might be going all right. Maybe she can forget about him and go on with her daily life like it's supposed to. But then he struts by the cafeteria table, fumbling in his wallet for money to pay for lunch. And trailing behind him are large groups of girls, giggling and whispering over the boy in front of them.
It sickens Kari. That's why she started to date her boyfriend. Maybe he would help her forget about him, and she wouldn't become of the groupie fan girls she loathes so much. She can forget about him now that she has someone else to love.
But life doesn't work out that way, especially for Kari.
When he walks by, it's like time stops. His golden hair shines, his eyes twinkle, and his smile seems like it's meant just for her. She swoons. She shivers. She feels like leaping for him every time she sees him, but she contains herself. She has a boyfriend. A nice, caring, guy who would give anything for her.
But she doesn't want it to be that way.
She wants him. She wants to hug him and kiss him and walk with him through the halls, hand in hand, instead of his brother.
Kari knows him. She knew him before any of those other girls. That's one reason for her irrational anger. It's not fair that they get his attention; that he acts handsome and dashing just for them, but around Kari he acts like she's just another friend. Like she's her brother, or something. It breaks her heart. It makes her cry. He should be smiling for her! He should be showing off for her! He should be singing for her! But he doesn't. And she hugs her boyfriend, thinking it'll make things easier.
It makes things worse.
After a school day, she goes home and grabs her pink highlighter. She races for her calendar and writes a large number in the box. Sometimes it's one, sometimes it's five, and sometimes it's ten. It all depends on how many times she sees him. Not how many times she speaks to him, not how many times he speaks to her, but just how many times she sees him. That's all she needs right now. Just to know he's still in her life, still there.
On the calendar some numbers are scribbled out and beside them are written larger numbers. If it were a perfect day, he would come over to their house to visit her brother. If it was a good day, she would be invited to her boyfriend's apartment and she'd have the privilege of seeing him. Of smiling at him, or receiving his genuine smiles. She swoons just thinking about it. His real smile was meant for her, not those annoying girls! It's a smile different than what he gives his other friends. Those ones are toothy—this one is simple and gentle. She loves it. She adores it.
But she doesn't do anything about it.
When people ask what the numbers mean, sometimes accompanied by little hearts or smiling faces, she lies. Quickly. Oh, a mark on a test, or the date of an important day. She brushes it off, making sure they don't ask again. If she told the truth…if she told anyone it was how many times she saw the man she loved in a day, she'd be in serious trouble. Especially with her boyfriend.
Kari scribbles on her calendar. The sunflowers remind her of his hair. Everything seems to remind her of him. It's pathetic, really. She can't break up with her boyfriend, because she knows there's no chance between her and him. She's happy as friends. She's all right knowing he has a secret smile just for her. She likes knowing he'd protect her in a second. It's all right. It's fine.
TK is an okay boyfriend. But he's just not Matt.