One day, Cancer Kid the warboy woke up and injected some chrome spray paint into his bloodstream with a dirty needle. And then he got cancer. He named his cancer tumours Nigger and Kike because those are the two things in the world that are just as bad or maybe even worse as cancer. He ate some Doritos for breakfast and practised his noscopes and was ready for the day of being a MLG dank warboy.
As he was walking around being a good samaritan, Le Troll Face flew out of the sky with Le Me Gusta and started asking, "You mad, bro?" At Cancer Kid.
Cancer Kid was, in fact, mad. Because these are old outdated memes and they insulted him. He shouted at them, "STOP BEING SO DANK!"
And the outdated memes laughed and pushed him into a locker and called him a nerd. Then, Good Guy Greg came from the sky and saved Cancer Kid from the memes. He teleported Cancer Kid to the realm of 9Gag, the most cancerous place in existence. Nigger and Kike, his cancer tumours, were pleased to be amongst their people. Cancer Kid could feel the MLG skills being sucked away and replaced with more cancer. He had to inject some more chrome spray paint into his bloodstream to keep his sanity and dankness. Outdated memes were everywhere. Fucking stupid ass advice duck, and those other outdated 2005 memes. Cancer Kid crawled up in a ball and started screaming for help as Le Troll Faces circled him and asked him if he was mad, bro.
Finally, Cancer Kid knew what he had to do. He had to summon O' Chin Chin, his lord and saviour. His reason to be addicted to chrome spray paint, and why he had a few more chromosomes than normal people.
"O' CHIN CHIN!" He shouted, "O' CHIN CHIN SKE'DI NANDAYO!"
And then O' Chin Chin came from the sky but then blew up in a series of dank not outdated 4Chan memes. Cancer Kid was saved, and 9Gag was brought to justice. All the Le Troll Faces were destroyed by Smug Pepe. Cancer Kid ran into O' Chin Chin's arms and they embraced deeply.
But just as it seemed that the universe was saved, Le Awesome Face rose up from the horizon. The most outdated meme in the world. Le Awesome Face was furious that his cancer realm was destroyed by dank memes, and cancer flew from his eyeballs in two super big cancerous lasers. The dank memes were disintegrated at the cancer laser's touch.
The world was on Cancer Kid's shoulders now. He grabbed the dankest meme of all, Lolz Cat, and threw it at Le Awesome Face. Lolz Cat said, "Can I haz chezburger?" And then slammed into Le Awesome Face's face and they both blew up in a bright, epic light. 50 dubstep songs layered on top of Darude Sandstorm started blasting from the explosion along with the sound of airhorns and screaming 9 year olds. So many epic dank memes came flying from the bright light of the explosion that Cancer Kid was so overwhelmed.
Then Cancer Kid woke up in a back alley. An empty can of chrome spray paint laid beside him and his nostrils and mouth were stained chrome. And that's when he realized he should probably kill himself, because out of all the warboys with cancer, he was the one who was the most cancerous of them all.
And so he a grabbed a pebble and he beat himself to death with it. Rip in rest, Cancer Kid.
The End