DisclaimeR: I Do Not Own Anything Concerning Lord Of The Rings. (Period.)
I'm not going to lie to you. This is pretty much a revenge-cliche story. Please don't flame me for it, I don't have the best self esteem concerning my writing, and yes, I know it sucks. The point? I'd like feedback. Not: "This story is so g-y" or "You write like a 2 year old." I'm looking for: "You should pay attention to tenses more" (I try, but it sounds weird when I keep same tense for every verb) or "Try not saying -insertword- so much." You know, useful stuff that'll help me write better so I annoy you less.
I'm looking to get better, not melt your brain.
Tips are nice too (duh).
Thankyou.
P.S.: I've seen the movies and I'm reading the first book, so... try to bear with me.
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Chapter One: Life as it Was
"Hestia!" came a call from below the wooden floor. "It's time for elevensies, Hestia!"
"Coming," Hestia, a young female hobbit, called back. She was short, even for a hobbit, standing at 2 feet and 10 inches and only 26 years of age. Her skin was fair, hardly any redness graced her cheeks; her eyes were golden and filled with laughter; her hair was thick and frizzed out at the ends giving her a wild look. While all these things made her seem un-hobbit-like, her looks were ordinary and she wouldn't have been thought of as strange -- that is, if it weren't for the flame coloring of her hair.
Most hobbits had deep brown colored hair, darking to black or lightening to blonde sometimes, but almost never red. Most folk said it was unnatural coloring, and magic work, but Hestia never minded.
The fact that people left her alone gave Hestia the time to her own peace. Reading, that was her passion, and whenever she got the chance to sneak off with a thick volume she was more than happy to.
Closing her current reading with care, Hestia set the book up on her bed, she'd been reading on the floor, with the cool wood pressing against her stomache. She hurried down the stairs where the table was set with food. Her brothers had already set to work eating, and most of the food was gone, but a plate had been set aside for her and it was almost completely untouched by the others.
Again, Hestia didn't mind, them leaving her any food at all was gracious of them, especially since their mother was well enough to start cooking again -- and her meals were hard not to horde. She finished her meal quickly, and passed what was left on her plate to her youngest brother, Thanin.
She returned the empty plate to the kitchen where her mother was busy washing the dishes. Hestia kissed her mother's cheek and took over scrubbing.
"Had papa seen Mister Frodo at all?" Hestia asked.
"Not that he's mentioned, dear," mother replied. "Why do you ask?"
"He's got a book that he was going to let me borrow."
"I'm sure that one of his neighbors would let you in. Why do you need another book anyways? You've plenty up in your room."
"I know, mum."
Nevertheless, after washing up, Hestia readied her rucksack with a few books and some bread and cheese with a waterskin. Just in case, she tucked a sharp steak knife into the sack, but she doubted she'd need it.
She would've started at the Gamgee's house, but Samwise had gone missing as well, as well as two other hobbits, Merry and Pippen. So instead she went straight to Frodo's home. Once there she asked his neighbors, but they knew even less than she. One or two of them mentioned off-handedly that they wouldn't hold it against her if she found a way in to find her book.
Hestia took the hint and managed to tumble through a poorly shut window. Inside she quickly found the book high on the bookshelf, beyond her reach. She pushed a chair over to the shelves and stretched as high as she could, and she bearly got her fingers on it. Stepping on the chair's arms she slid the large volume carefully from the others, but in her hands made her lose her balance.
She grabbed the shelf to steady her, but instead her hand found books, and she fell backwards with them landing on her. The initial pain passed, and Hestia replaced the books one by one. The last, other than the book she had sought, fell open in her hands.
Unable to help herself, Hestia read the page infront of her. It spoke in first person and said something about a ring. None of it made much sense until she realized that the book was a diary, not a novel.
Embarrassed, she placed the book up on the shelf with the others and hurried out of the house.
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Outside the hobbit hole around the corner, a shifty hobbit named Sibbick watched as Hestia left the home of Frodo Baggins. Frodo had been missing for quite some time, so it was strange that someone would be visiting his home, least of all the red-haired wonder from Buckland. Sackville-Bagginses, maybe, they'd always been after Frodo's supposed fortune after all.
Sibbick slipped out of the village quickly and met the Dark Man deep in the forest.
The Dark Man loomed menacingly, but Sibbick had seen many such get ups, and was not impressed, even as the gloom sucked the life out of the air. Why would a big person be interested in halflings was beyond Sibbick's understanding, but he didn't care.
"What brings you here, little one," the Dark Man said in the softest tone his voice could manage (which wasn't much).
In spite of himself, Sibbick stuttered, "I -- I saw someone leaving Baggins' house today. A girl from Buckland, she lives by the river with her family, their surname is Lighteye, it's on the post outside their home."
"Very good," the Dark Man said in the same sickly soft voice, and started to turn away.
"What about my reward?" Sibbick asked suddenly.
The Dark Man considered killing Sibbick on the spot for delaying him, but the halfling was useful at gathering information. The Dark Man reached into his cloak, drew out a pouch, and flung it at the halfling's bare feet. Without stopping, he left Sibbick and found his way down the woods to the river.
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Hestia stopped at the local market on her way home to pick up vegitables her mother needed to make dinner and supper tonight. It took a long time of bartering (the shopkeeps seemed to think that red hair made her stupid), but in the end she got everything needed.
On her way home she stopped at the mail office and picked up her family's letters. After that it was a straight shot home. She'd missed lunch and afternoon tea so she expected a short lecture, but she'd make up for it by helping her mother prepare dinner.
How she'd managed to acquire the skill of reading and carrying two bags of groceries at the same time was a mystery to her, but she did it quite well. It was only when she rounded one of the last corners to her home when a strange feeling came over her. Hestia shut her book and wiggled it into her sack to pick up her pace.
Then she saw it.
Fire poured out of windows and doors of her home in a frenzy. Hobbits up and down the street raced with buckets of water trying to put it out in vain.
The bags of food fell from Hestia's arms as her throat constricted in a scream of pure misery. She found herself leaping over the fence in front of her home and almost reached the fiery stoop when hands caught her and dragged her back.
She kicked and screamed and clawed to get her way into her hobbit hole. She screamed for her mother and father and brothers, but none of them appeared before her.
It wasn't long until Hestia knew the fate of her family. Her father had come home early for tea just before a stranger came to call on them. No one knew when the fire started, but the house had suddenly caught ablaze and the stranger gone.
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That's about all I can do for cliff hangers, sorry. Anyways, feedback is nice, flaming is not, I love you all and hopefully Chapter 2 will get off the ground.