-1Lucas
"Lucas, I'm pregnant." Those words played over and over in my head. How could I have let this happen? I was more responsible than this. I shook my head hard, trying to forget the last two hours. I didn't want to think about it. I wanted to go numb and forget about everything.
"Luke," My mom stopped me dead in my tracks when she called out my name. A guilty twinge entered my gut. I knew she wasn't going to be pleased when I told her my news. She expect much more from me. I turned slowly towards her, hoping she hadn't called and told my mom before I had gotten home. "You look pale, are you okay?" She came to me and felt my forehead.
"I'm fine, mom, what's up?" I tried to put a happy face on. It wasn't working very well.
"Well, I have good news." She smiled at me. She was beaming. It was almost as though she was glowing. "Um, stick around for dinner, okay?" She smirked and turned away from me.
"You're not going to tell me your good news?" Any other time I would be amused by her tactics, but at this very moment in time, I wasn't.
"I will at dinner." She didn't turn to look at me.
I hung my head low as I walked to my bedroom. I flung myself onto my bed, face down. I wanted to cry. As if someone were answering my wishes, the tears started to spill from my eyes. I was too young to face this reality. How was I going to support a child? How could I raise a child? I, myself, wasn't done being raised yet. I still had another year of high school left.
"What do you want to do?" I asked her as she stared at the white stick with two pink lines on it. Of course she wouldn't know yet. She hadn't even had time to process everything.
"I don't know." She softly whispered, not taking her eyes away from the pregnancy test. I went to her and wrapped my arms around her. I could feel her tense in my arms. She was cold. She didn't want me near her. I could sense it. I wanted to kiss her and promise that everything was going to be okay. I couldn't though. I didn't know if that was true. I didn't want to lie to her. I let go of her. Suddenly I felt every body movement I was making. I felt my arms fall to the side. I looked at her, searching for answers. "What should I do?" She looked back at me, the same look on her face. She was just as terrified as I was.
"Lucas, dinner." I had fallen asleep through my tears. I looked up at my mom who was standing in the doorway. She gave me an odd look, then came to my bedside. "Were you crying, Lucas?" I had been, but I couldn't tell her that.
"No, I just fell asleep on my face." I shook it off, hoping she believed what I was saying. I pushed myself off the bed and followed her to the kitchen. Surprisingly, Keith was already seated at the table, ready for dinner. I was glad to see him. He had been a better father to me than any real father I could have. Shame swept over me when I saw the look of pride glaze over his eyes when he saw me. I wanted to tell him he would not be so proud of me if he knew how irresponsible I had been.
"So, what's the good news?" I asked, slowly sitting in my chair. I tried to plaster a smile on my face. I was going to make it through dinner without having an emotional breakdown. I hoped whatever good news they had would be so good that I would cheer up as well.
"Well," My mom started dishing out everyone's food. She sat down before she continued her sentence. She looked over at Keith and grabbed his hand. "We're going to get married, Lucas."
A true smile swept across my face as I processed her words. It was fantastic news. Ever since I was a little boy I wanted Keith to be my dad. I wanted my family to be my mom, me, and Keith. "That is great." I could barely find the words to explain my enthusiasm. "That's…That's…It's about time." They laughed at me. I watched as they looked at each other and smiled. I could tell they were in love by the way they looked at each other.
"That's not all, Lucas." Keith's face turned serious once again. "We, well, we are also, well, you are going to be a big brother." Keith reached over and patted my mom's stomach. My mouth dropped. Suddenly my mood fell. I was going to have a baby at the same time my mom was having my little brother or sister?
"Luke, are you okay?" My mom noticed the change in my face. "Are you okay with this?"
I shook myself out of the funk and looked at her. "Yeah, yeah, wow, it's…it's just a lot to take in. I can't believe I'm going to be an older brother." Of course I had Nathan as a brother, but he had never really counted until the past year.