Disclaimer: Not mine. I just take them out for a spin :)
A/N: After episode 3.07, Jules's actions at the end wouldn't leave me alone. Here's my interpretation of them. R & R por favor :)
Jules sat on her couch, a bottle of beer in one hand. She was trying in vain to shut out the day's stressful events that kept replaying in her mind. Each time she saw the events, she just got angrier and angrier.
She wasn't even sure why she was so mad in the first place.
No, that was a downright lie. Jules did know why so was so angry. She looked up to Greg; she respected him more than anyone else on the force. And she needed him. The whole team needed him. She wasn't ready to acknowledge the fact that Greg could have died that day, so she lashed out to cover her emotions. Now that she was at home, she admitted that she wasn't proud of what she had said.
She remembered the look on his face while she'd yelled. It was a look she'd never forget; a look filled with pain, bitter memories, regret, and disappointment, to put a name to a few of them.
She had just gone over there to check on him, but when she saw him, covered in his own blood; her already elevated temper had gone into overdrive. She hadn't planned any of it. Once the words had started, there was no stopping them until her temper had run its course.
Now, sitting at home, Jules was trying to sort out her jumbled emotions. Greg was her mentor, a father figure in her life. Maybe it was partially jealously that had caused her to lash out like that. Was she jealous of Haley? Was she jealous that Greg was a father figure to those outside the team? Unwilling to lie to herself, Jules admitted that she probably was, if only a little bit. When she had found out the full situation, she had been shocked by how much Greg was trying to protect the girl. Sure, she didn't need to know that she had shot her own mother, but was his life really worth that information? Team one needed their father and Sargeant, too.
A single tear dripped out of Jules's eye. She cared about him so much, why couldn't she just be happy that he'd gotten out all right? If she was honest with herself, it was because everything had been too close. It was because she hadn't been able to handle the thought of losing Greg so soon after losing Lou.
Fin