Ashley Williams raised her hand and palmed open the door to the Normandy's starboard lounge. She didn't know why she was here, exactly. All she knew was that Chakwas and two enlisted crewmen had all seen Miranda run in here like the legions of Hell were on her heels about ten minutes ago, and that she'd used her XO override to seal the door. At first Ash had feared Shepard's reconstruction had catastrophically failed, but a quick call to Sickbay told her just the opposite was true. After five straight days, the Skipper's fever had broken as his immune system finally learned to distinguish friend from foe. Hid body was healing, finally, and it was starting to look like they might actually be able to raise the dead. Again.
All of which did absolutely nothing to explain Miranda's behavior. Ash sighed to herself as she punched in her Spectre override and the door blipped green. A large part of her wanted to think Lawson had just wanted somewhere to sleep. She'd been up for nearly five days straight nursing Shepard through the latest crisis, and she had to be completely exhausted. A tiny, unworthy part of her whispered that it didn't care what the Cerberus supermodel was doing in there.
But mostly she remembered the few minutes she'd spent with Miranda in this lounge a week or so back. Candles flickering in the darkness as they tried to send a few words to the Skipper, wherever he was. And the lost expression Miranda had on her face as she stared out at the stars.
Ashley palmed the door open. The room beyond was dark, all the lights out and lit only by dim starlight.
"Who's there?" It came from the shadows in the far corner of the room, and Ashley stopped short. Miranda's voice low, quavering with an undertone of tears, with none of the crisp confidence Ash normally heard there.
And that did it. Ash had said and done a lot of things she wasn't proud of in her time, but she'd never- ever- run out on someone who sounded that close to the end of her rope. She stepped forward into the darkness, letting the door close behind her.
"Miranda?" Another step, and she could make out the white of the other woman's Cerberus uniform in the dimness. The sight was almost as shocking as the voice had been. Miranda Lawson the Perfect was huddled against a corner of the lounge, hugging her knees to her chest as she shook like a wet leaf in the breeze. Ash could barely make out one wide blue eye peeking out from between Miranda's knees, half-hidden by messy bangs of greasy black hair. Bloodshot and red-rimmed, it stared past her into the far corner of the room.
"Ashley." Miranda took a breath and half-sobbed. "Ashley. Can you see him?" Ash turned to follow Miranda's gaze and found the far corner empty of anything but flickering shadow. Miranda's voice was almost shrill, on the edge of panic. "Can you see him?"
"No." Ash kept her voice soft, calm, the way she'd talk to an frightened animal or a panicked newbie. She knew better than to approach Miranda, but she dropped down to squat on the floor and lock eyes with that frightened blue flicker. "I don't see him, Miranda." A thready gasp and Ash quickly added, "But that doesn't mean he isn't there. Can you tell me who it is?"
"The Illusive Man." Miranda drew in a breath. "I know John killed him so I know he can't be there. But I can still see him, he doesn't talk but he's watching me, eyes, all over me. He's been there for the past five, six hours. While I was making sure Shepard was safe and back to healing. Am I indoctrinated somehow? Or is he just...there to remind me?"
"Of what?" Ash leaned forward slightly.
"I betrayed him." Miranda's voice dropped to a whisper. "When I ran from my father he took me in when I had nothing. He kept me safe, helped me get Oriana out, let me be part of his organization." Ashley bit down slightly on her tongue. She still couldn't think of Cerberus as anything but the mad experimenters she'd seen all over the Traverse, but this wasn't the time. "He did so many horrible things, but never to me. And I still betrayed him for..."
"Love?" Ash had expected that to come out slightly bitter, but surprised herself. She liked it better this way, light and laced with compassion. Because no matter what she'd lost- hell, what she'd thrown away- she couldn't be angry at the woman who was doing so much to bring ths Skipper back. Miranda shrugged.
"Love. A chance to do the right thing for once." Miranda looked up over the tops of her knees, almost shy. "Family. All good things. But I still did it. And he still won't go away." Her shoulders shook a bit with half-hysterical laughter. "I can't sleep with him watching me. I think I'm finally losing my bloody mind."
"No." Ash shook her head, leaning forward. "I don't think you are. I can't see him, but I believe he's there. You're not crazy, Miranda. You're just being haunted."
"Haunted?" Miranda's voice rose again, her eyes narrowing. "Humoring me is bad enough, Williams, but do you seriously expect me to believe-"
"I do." Ash's voice was calm as a rippling pond, almost forcing Miranda to calm herself enough to listen. "I know all the old stories, Miranda. I've been a soldier for almost twenty years now. Seen things. Done things. So yes, I believe in ghosts. Restless spirit or just a restless memory, it doesn't matter. It's still there, and you're not crazy for seeing it." She leaned forward, laying one hand on Miranda's knee. "Just human."
"Heh." It was more a puff of breath, slowly released. "Do those old stories say how to make a ghost go away, then? At least for a while...long enough to get some rest?"
Ashley smiled, turning to the lounge's other wall and the small personal locker she kept there. "Oh, plenty of ways. Most not all that practical at the moment- opening windows, sprinkling salt, running around screaming and waving a longsword. Unless you have one." Miranda actually laughed at that and shook her head. "But," Ash reached into the locker and drew out her altar candle and candlestick, setting it on the floor, "my Gran always said this one never failed her. Ghosts can't cross into candlelight. Worth a shot?"
"Sure." Miranda's voice was still tense, but the edge of hysteria was gone. Ashley smiled and walked back over, sitting down next to Miranda in the corner and placing the candle in front of them. She pulled out her lighter and handed it over solemnly. When Miranda's fingers shook and she couldn't hold the flame steady, Ash held onto her wrist and helped gently guide her hand forward until the glowing tip touched the wick, kindling into a bright flame that cast dancing yellow shadows across both their faces. Miranda stared into the flickering flame for a long moment, then lifted her eyes to the corner.
"Gone." At another time she might have sounded excited, happy. Now she just sounded weary beyond words. "It...he's gone. But how? Does it mean...?"
"Shh." Ash palmed her lighter back with a smile. "Later. Right now all that matters is that he's not here anymore."
"Yeah." Miranda's voice was already fuzzy, the last restraints holding back her exhaustion falling away as her body slumped towards the deck. "Yeah. But can't...mmm...can't leave it. Can't leave a flame unattended on the ship."
"Don't worry." Ash let Miranda drop down onto the deck, quickly folding a spare uniform top under her head. "I'll stay and keep it going till you're asleep."
"Promise?" Barely more than a whisper and Ash smiled softly, reaching down to gently stroke Miranda's hair, the way she had when shooing nightmares away from ten year old Sarah.
"I promise." That was all it took. Miranda went limp, her body finally collapsing under he strain of the last few days. True to her word, Ash stayed and watched the flame until she was sure the other woman was fast asleep. Then she blew the candle out and secured it back in her locker, pulling a grey wool Alliance-issue blanket out from one of the lockers and tucking it around Miranda's shoulders. As she got up to leave, locking the door behind her, Ash paused and turned towards the corner.
"And stay gone, you bastard." Her voice was a venemous whisper. She smiled, the way a cat might at a crippled mouse. "Or next time? I'll just have to think of something worse."
No response from the shadows, except the gentle stirring of dust in the air as it ran throughout the ship. But as Ashley closed and sealed the door behind her, she was fairly sure she'd made her point.