IF ONLY
Hurt/Comfort/Romance
Jun Pyu + Jae Kyoung + One
Rated K+
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my imagination.
He didn't want to see her as a person. He didn't want to see her getting hurt. He didn't want to see her, period.
But his ever meddling mother has made it impossible for him to continue living without her presence.
And now, as she deftly plucked the succulent fish meat from its bone, Jun Pyo looked at Jae Kyoung for the first time and saw her not as an annoying girl, a spoiled heiress bent on getting what she wants, but as another human being who has more common with him than he thinks.
"If there's one thing I hate, it is eating all alone at the head of the table. So I decided to cook breakfast for you. Here, eat." She said as she put the fish meat on his bowl.
The food was good. It was without difficulty that he finished what was placed before him, as she happily watched him eat. With her chin on her elbows, she looked…young and innocent. For a second he stared at her features, noting the high cheekbones, the clear skin. The laughing eyes. Monkey girl is beautiful.
He shook his head to dispel the thought. Feeling in his heart that he is being unfaithful to the one he truly loves. With a brisk nod he stood up and left the table, feeling her eyes bore unto his back.
****************
He felt her kiss. The soft brush of her lips against his cheeks and he couldn't help but inhale her scent. It was vibrant and citrusy, reflective of her personality. Beneath closed lids he could feel her gaze. With a sigh she stood up and left. He opened his eyes and stared at her retreating back. Unbidden, he felt remorse for her situation. She rarely showed it, but this can't be easy for her as well. And yet, as hard as he tried, there is nothing that he can do for her. He has already given his heart a long time ago.
****************
She gazed down upon him, the glitter of tears the only indication that she understood just how much he was asking of her. He was begging her. The great Gu Jun Pyu on his knees begging to be let go. Hiding the pain, she spoke firmly:
" Tomorrow, we are going to stand up on this very same spot and swear to become Husband and Wife. There's nothing more to be said."
He crashed his fist on the floor in frustration. She walked away with tears falling on her cheeks as her heart broke into pieces anew.
****************
He was still in shock over her generosity and kindness. She looked up with a tremulous smile and brushed her fingers on his cheek.
" Why?"
" I've always been a pretty cool person." She cheekily replied as she silently bid goodbye to her first love. She left him at the altar before she changed her mind.
****************
"Jae Kyoung would be very sad if I learn that you break up. You will need my permission to do that, do you hear?" her gaze was steady, making light of the situation. She was happy that they came to see her off, reaffirming the rightness of her decision.
He had to admire her spirit. He knew how difficult it was for her, not only to have the guts to break up with him at the altar, but to accept the blame for their parents. She glanced at him, as if memorizing his face for the last time, and he felt a twinge in his heart. She was a remarkable woman, and he considered himself lucky to have met her under any circumstance.
He pulled her into a tight hug, and her eyes widened. It was an unexpected farewell present and she blinked her eyes to dispel the tears.
" Thank you." He murmured. " Take care." She could only nod. With a brave smile, Jae Kyoung bid the happy couple goodbye and turned to go. As soon as her back was turned, she let the tears fall.
Walking swiftly, she made it to the boarding gate, unaware that a set of sad eyes followed her progress. Ji Hoo watched from the sidelines, aware just how much sacrifice she had made for Jun Pyo and Jan Di to be together. He couldn't help but admire her strength. They have said their awkward goodbyes a few nights ago, but Ji Hoo being who he was, knew that seeing the couple would be especially difficult for her. So here he was, watching silently, sending his support for the brave girl before him who was briskly wiping tears from her eyes.
Suddenly she stumbled as the line behind her moved. Her bag fell from her shoulders, its contents spilling as it hit the floor.
He found himself stepping forward to help and was surprised to see a pair of silver shoes stumble out of her bag.
Both of them reached for the shoe at the same time, his hands grasping hers as she picked it up.
She looked up, tears still on her lashes and her eyes visibly widened to see him.
"What are you doing here?"
He gave her what he hoped, a disarming smile.
"Helping you." He said as he picked up the last of the spilled contents and handed them to her.
They both stood up. She took a step back and rocked on her heels. Then she placed her hands on her hips. Jae Kyoung in full mode. Again he grinned.
"Why would I need help?" she asked, and inwardly he was surprised at her testy mood. For a beat. Then he understood. She was hurting, and her hurt is translating to anger. Since he was right before her, he was the perfect recipient.
He decided to be generous.
" Because you're a girl." He teased, relying on his instincts in riling a female. It was a novel experience but it worked like a charm.
A perfectly shaped brow rose up. " Oh yeah? So? I don't need your help. I don't need anybody's help."
Bravely he linked his arm with hers and felt her start in protest.
"What are you doing?" she repeated as he propelled them forward.
" Keeping you company."
She shrugged her arm free. " To New York?"
He paused to consider that, then he nodded. " Why not?"
"You're insane!"
****************
Two hours later, she was still looking at him oddly and muttering. " Crazy F4."
He simply smiled, made himself more comfortable and closed his eyes. He could feel her fuming beside him and was surprised at how lighthearted he felt. It wasn't only Jae Kyoung who lost somebody important, and he figured a break from recent events might not be a bad idea.
"BY the way," he began, lids still closed. " I don't have any luggage with me, so you'll have to help me."
She started to protest again, but the old Jae Kyoung emerged and a mischievous grin appeared on her lips.
****************
She dressed him in her butler's clothes, laughing all the way as he stared at the somber colors.
But when he emerged from her bathroom with her gray scarf slung over his neck and shoulders, breaking the deep black of the cloth, her eyebrows knitted. She had to admit he looked good. Stylish even. Hah, this round is on him.
She took him to the scariest places in New York, their first stop Harlem. Giving the inward handshake to her ghetto friend, she eyed him with interest, waiting for his reaction. To her surprise once more, he smiled, extended his hand and flipped it to a handshake more elaborate than hers. Big Jamal nodded solemnly, then a grin broke his features and he pulled JiHoo into a hug. She saw him wince from the contact. After all Big Jamal was a foot taller than him and probably weighed double.
"I dig you. We're alright." Said the big guy.
JiHoo whispered into Big Jamal's ear as both of them looked at her. The black man burst out laughing, tears forming in his eyes and Jae Kyoung seethed.
Grabbing Ji Hoo's hand, she dragged him away after casting a murderous look on her traitor friend. Jamal only laughed harder.
"What was that all about?" she demanded, for the first time realizing that she has underestimated him a lot. She didn't know him at all and the feeling was uncomfortable.
"Guy speak." He enigmatically replied, casting her a wink. She fumed, not liking the fact that nothing seemed to faze his calm exterior.
****************
And so it went on for a month. He became her unwelcome guest, but she had to admit, once she started accepting the fact that he seemed bent on staying inspite of her tricks, he was a good companion. There was an innate calmness in Ji Hoo that tapped into her silent self. To the world, she may come off as somebody who meets life head on, but inside is a softer side that appreciates silence and unhurried pacing.
They explored the city together. She providing him the resident-views, he opening her eyes to sights and sounds she didn't know the place possessed. With him, she didn't need to be in constant motion, with her, he found himself opening up, talking more than he ever did with anyone else. It was a simple blending of two very distinct personalities who found comfort in each other's presence.
On the night of his thirtieth day, he pulled her aside and seated himself on the floor. As their ritual, she did the same, extending her legs on the white carpet. Both had a glass of wine after their dinner, their movements unhurried, the atmosphere comfortable.
" I have to go back." He began, and she looked up, unprepared for his words.
She shook her head. " Too soon."
He gazed down at her head, now resting comfortably in his shoulders. She has become a good friend. Not a soulmate, but somebody who opened up another side of himself.
"I have to go." He softly said, sad at the prospect, but knowing that he can't stay longer. His life was back in Korea, although from what he is feeling now, his home seemed such a distant place.
She sipped her wine and dropped her chin on her curled legs. For a while neither of them spoke.
" I wish you didn't get on the plane." She finally said and he was taken aback.
She looked at him with sad eyes. " I wish you weren't so damn nice."
He had to look down, understanding now how she is feeling.
"I don't regret a single day I spent with you." He said and reached out a comforting hand to her shoulders.
"I don't need this." She said abruptly standing up and putting her wine glass on a nearby table.
" I hate goodbyes. So if you want to leave, just leave in the morning. Don't wake me up when you go." With that she turned and went to her room, leaving him in pensive thought.
****************
She is going to miss him. Damn him for barging into her life.
Jae Kyoung brushed angry tears from her eyes and pounded her pillow. She hated feeling this way. She hated how she has come to depend on him. She hated how his presence calmed her. She hated how easily they fell into a routine of living together. She hated that now, everything has to end.
She picked up the offending pillow and flung it across the room just as a soft knock broke her musings.
She stalked angrily toward the door and opened it with force. Eyebrows knitted together she stared at him coldly. He was looking at the floor when she opened the door. Slowly he raised his head and met her eyes. For the first time, she noted how softly his hair fell on his forehead, or how nice his features were. Ji Hoo looked.. Kind. He personified everything that is kind and good. From the top of his auburn hair, to the tip of his feet.
She crossed her arms and didn't say a word, waiting for him to speak first.
He noted the purity of her face. The ink blank hair contrasting deeply with her porcelain skin. This girl has come to mean something to him, and for the first time in quiet a while, he has felt unsure.
Seconds passed and the air grew thick with tension as they stared at each other. Cataloguing each other's features in slow appreciation.
Her heart started beating as she continued to wait. She has never felt more uncertain than at this moment, while he continued to gaze down on her, his eyes brushing each feature in seeming caress. She felt blood rush through her veins infusing her neck and felt even more out of sorts to realize that she was blushing furiously right before his eyes. She has never ever blushed.
He noted as pink suffused her skin, lending her a rosy glow, and feeling suddenly impulsive, he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her forward. He crashed his lips to hers and closed his eyes against her shocked expression.
Her lips were so soft and full and he took his fill. Feeling blood pound in his ears, he crushed her to him, feeling her soft body imprint his.
She gave a soft moan and found herself responding to the kiss. Quickly, she put her arms around him, inching closer and gave herself up to the blissful sensation.
They kissed in discovery and wonder. They marveled at each other's feel and in accord grasped, caressed and explored each other's back and shoulders.
When they finally broke apart, it was to breath raggedly, as if they had both run a marathon.
She stumbled when he let go, prompting him to catch her arm once more.
Then making the ultimate decision, he swung her in his arms and she let out a joyful squeak.
They tumbled into bed together and the sensation started anew.
Lips met, caressed. Hands moved and explored.
Ji Hoo grinned down on her upturned face and she smiled in pure joy.
"You're staying?" she hopefully asked, her heart in her eyes.
He grinned wider, his eyes disappearing altogether. "NO, you're going back."
They burst out laughing.
THE END