A'ight, so, looking back on a fanfic that was posted apprx 1 year ago, I then saw it's true potential of retardedness...AND NOW I AM RE UPLOADING IT...BITCH! Anyway, I finally decided to edit it's sorry ass and turn it into a one shot, I mean, the chapters were pretty short. Also, FLAMERS AND GRAMMAR NAZIS WELCOME! however...I think with my poor writing, the spelling hitler will probably come and put me in consonant camp…..I should really stop writing this now...halp...just...halp…..*disclaimer- I do not own fairy tail!
"WHAT DID YOU SAY ICE BRAIN?!"
"I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
"BITCH!"
"FUCK YOU!" *may I note that their insults...wellllllllll I haven't really remembered some of their insults...gome*
And there you have it, Natsu and Gray were fighting...again…
"GRAY, WHO ARE YOU INTERESTED IN ANYWAY, JUVIA, OR NATSU?!"
Gray and Natsu stopped fighting and turned to see wtf Juvia was even saying.
"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" they yelled in unison.
"Yeah, right…" Laki retorted, "This is definitely going in my next doujinshi!"
"ALREADY ON IT!" Cana yelled, selling tickets at a betting bin that had suddenly appeared. "So," she snickered, "Who do you think would be seme?"
Slowly, the women of Fairy Tail crowded around the bin.
"Now, if only we can make it incest…"
"WHAT?!"
"Mommy, what's Seme?" asked Asuka.
"Ummm, how do I explain this?" Bisca nervously said, eyeing Alzack.
"You'll learn when you're-"
"YOU SEE SWEETY, WHEN TWO GUYS ARE STUCK IN A CLOSET, THEY BEGIN TO-"
"Cana, who gave you the alcohol?"
"Shut the fuck up Gray, no one be taking away my lovely!" Yelled Cana drunkenly.
"Cana, maybe we should start limiting your alcohol supply agai-" began Natsu.
"BITCH YOU AIN'T INVITED!"
"Haha, Natsu practically got bitch slapped by Cana!"
"Who said that!"
There you have it, the guild was now brawling.
Amidst the chaos, somehow Lucy, Wendy, Juvia, and Cana were at the bar without getting tangled in the fight. (even though Cana practically started the fight)
And now were not only siting and making commentary on the fight, but drinking...heavily.
"Ummmm, Cana?"
"What do you want Juvia?"
"Should Wendy really be drinking alcohol?!"
"Pssssshhhhhhhhhh, she already had some before the Grand Magic Games, right?!"
"Yeah, but that was an ova!"
"Yeah, well it still counts, bitch!"
"True…"
"Here, have some of this special brew I got from my dad!"
"mph!"
-4 barrels later…
"Bitch, you don't know me, I'm a fine ass motha fucka!"
At this point, Cana decided it would be a good time to just leave Juvia there. Also, she had a drinking match to win against Bacchus now that he was there.
A few matches later, Cana and Juvia were both wasted…
"ehhh ju...juvia...I'm talking to you water chick...u feelin better...not drownin...oh wait...u can't drown...WILL SOMEBODY GET ME A MOTHERFUCKING BARREL OF ALCOHOL AND CHALLENGE ME ALREADY, I AIN'T GOT ALL FUCKING DAY!"
"But...you guys nearly drained the alcohol supply…"
"So fucking what?!"
"It's okay, Cana, 'cuz I brought a barrel of booze with me just in case!" Bacchus slurred.
"BITCHIN'!"
An hour later, anyone who had seen Juvia could definitely say that she was drunk, obviously drunk. But, to no surprise, all the guild members did was scream "chug chug chug chug!" While Bacchus lay on the floor holding Cana's top.
….That was until Juvia started mouthing people off...it wasn't pretty.
"You think you can just sit there all smug Erza, little bitch!? Shouldn't you be fucking with Jellal? We all know how crazy things can get during the games, I even bet you were alone with him doing something other than talking on the beach!" Then she turned to Lucy, falling down to her knees. "Lucy, you honestly look like a fucking whore on the verge of going loose and slamming your boobs inta peeps faces that be hatin other peoples shit! Like bitch, don't even forget we're love rivals!"
"Juvia, you've had too much to drink." Lucy responded casually, helping Juvia get to her feet.
"Gajeel, quit the tough guy act we all know you love Levy and want to do her, speaking of which have you yet?" Juvia said with a sleepy expression on her face.
"What!?" Gajeel said, his face growing bright as a tomato.
"You heard me metal dick, have you fucked Levy yet?"
Before he could answer Juvia went to Wendy and Romeo.
"Hey Romeo, shouldn't you be fucking Wendy by now too!? I mean, you should even fuck her right now before she ditches you like your dad's bitchy wife…"
"Juvia, since you're drunk I'll let that little comment slip, but u do know Wendy's only 12 and I'm only 13 soo.." Romeo replied, an annoyed tone in his voice.
"Man, It's hotter than that stupid atmosphere I had to fight Aries in…"
Before anyone could respond to what she just said, Juvia climbed onto a table and whipped off her dress, leaving her with just her bra and panties on. With everyone wordless she started to get her bra off until Elfman had to stop her. Of course he had a nosebleed...all the guys did at least. "Best...guild...ever.." was all Laxus could say before all the guys started nodding.
So there Juvia was, pretty much topless in just her panties, in the spotlight...on a table…
"Juvia put your clothes back on!" Natsu yelled.
"You never act like this!" Gray added covering Romeo's eyes even though he probably didn't need to.
"Well Gray gets the excuse to with his stripping habit, so why can't I!?"
"Mommy, what's stripping?" asked Asuka. Her parents just sweat dropped and told her to just cover her ears. But, what's the point? Letting Asuka hang in the guild had already tainted her innocence too much.
Like I said...I need halp...lolz...I put in wayyyyy too many f bombs...hallpppppp