The whole 'Robinhood is Real' thing made Clara really curious about other so-called 'legends'...and 'stories'. The Doctor found himself popping her all over human history, poking his pointy nose into all sorts of weird situations. Some of them were just stories, others were as real as Robin had been. And honestly, he'd looked a lot closer at Santa, after last Christmas. Her brand of Easter Bunny Hunt had been a lot of fun...he admitted that. But when she started pulling out the graphic novels, to start checking out things like popular culture and urban legends, life suddenly really got strange...even by his standards.
00
Legend Lore
Pop Culture
The oddly costumed man stared at the Doctor and Clara in disbelief...his eyes flicked from his wrist display where he'd been watching Doctor Who during a stake out, to the TARDIS the pair had just exited and finally groaned.
"Just my luck." He growled.
"See Doctor, he was a good candidate for being real."
"See Batman? I told you, he is too real." The second, smaller, also costumed figure told the larger one.
Three feet from each other, the Doctor and Batman started banging their heads on opposite sides of the same large tree. Finally the two men stopped, and just looked at each other. Batman showed the Doctor his DVD link and what was on it. The Doctor handed him a stack of comic books.
"Great." Batman groaned. "Just beautiful."
"I feel for you: Robinhood proved to be real and after the thing with Santa last year, Clara was curious. I've been playing 'chauffeur' while trying to figure out which portions of popular human culture are real...and which aren't. Santa and Robinhood were, the Easter Bunny isn't. That was a just strange looking multicolored alien bird that somewhat resembled a rabbit when on the ground...every egg in the nest was a different color, called esterunnies. They use Earth as a stopping point during interstellar migrations. Usually they land in the spring..."
"I don't know whether or not I should thank you for that bit of random information."
"Better Locksley, Santa and a harmless, if strange looking interstellar bird, than a multicolored, egg-laying, magic bunny." The Doctor pointed out. "The bird's eggs hatch and as soon as the youngsters can fly, the adults take them to Bracti 3, to the main colonies. A weird looking, colorful bird is one thing, but Earth has many species that can be described that way...however, a magical, but non-flighted rabbit would be harder to explain. Rather in line with a brightly hued flying pig."
"True." Batman twitched at the thought. "Very true."
"I don't suppose you two and Alfred fancy a trip?"
Batman eyed the Doctor thoughtfully. "Help me round up this lot and it should be at least a month before anyone breaks out of Arkham. I'd say yes now, but that's Joker in the house."
"Deal. I could use some running, bit bored lately.
Batman flinched, he'd already agreed though...and really, no Whovian in his right mind wanted the Doctor to get bored, not in the immediate vicinity, anyway...the darnedest things happened when he did.
"Batsy, that's not fair, you know." Joker wasn't even arguing, probably because the asshole was also a Whovian, had just seen the TARDIS land three feet from him in his kitchen and The Bat had exited with the Doctor. Joker wasn't about to tick off the Time Lord. Joker wasn't stupid, after all...just crazy. "Arkham for three without fussing if you make sure they improve the menu."
"Deal."
"Boring." The Doctor told them both, making Joker shiver in relief...the Time Lord had been looking forward to his version of 'fun' and Batman flinched when he realized he'd signed up for it already. "I've got a far better idea. I'll just drop this lot off at the civic center in Muppetsville on Muppetopia, instead of Arkham. They'll have a lot more fun there and will be out of your hair for good."
"Cool." Robin said, young enough to be pretty sure he knew what the Doctor had in mind.
"Muppetsville?" Batman queried rather hesitantly, not really sure he wanted to know.
"Muppetopia?" There was a certain amount of dread in Penguin's tone, he was a lot faster on the uptake than most of the crowd he ran with. He had seen the grin on birdboy's face and was growing uneasier by the second.
"Uh oh." Freeze groaned. He wasn't exactly 'slow', either. He wasn't at all sure he liked Pigs in Space that much.
"You'll see...it's one of the places that turned out to be real." The Doctor paused thoughtfully, "I really, really wish it hadn't. It was easily one of the longest stretches of unmanipulated weeks of straight Time I've ever gone through on the slow path. Clara had a blast though."
"That was sorta mean, Doctor." Robin told him. "Joker as a permanent cast member of The Muppet Show?" They'd just left him there...landed, opened the door, shoved Joker and his friends out and left.
"Think 'Piggy', 'Gonzo' and 'Beaker'."
"He's right, Dick." Batman told him, pulling off his cowl. "Joker, Harley, their friends and current thugs will fit right in. I'm just glad that was general round up, Riddler was already having fun with Kermit and Poison Ivy seemed happy with friends she can't kill since they're not alive to start with."
"Too true. Gonzo was already luring off Penguin...and I don't really want to know what for." The Doctor grinned. "But, Muppetopia is an adult version of the Show we see on Earth television and Jack Harkness moved in as a full time resident yeeeeeeeeeeeears ago, so..."
"True." Clara agreed with a shiver. "Just like I try really hard not to think about what he and Gonzo probably do to Gonzo's chickens there."
Bruce Wayne paused, turned a really interesting shade of greenish yellow and said, "Ew!" in a tone full of revulsion. A moment later Dick caught the reference and turned to bolt for a restroom, already gagging.
"Where to next?" The Doctor winced when the time-ship lurched and he realized something. "Should've never taught you to use the telepathic piloting circuits." He muttered as the ship thudded to a stop. "Clara?"
She just passed an Xmen comic to Bruce, who swore. "Them too?"
"Yeah, well, all things considered, if it turns out that these guys are real, then Doctor's supervision over their progress isn't a bad idea."
"She's got a good point, Bruce." Dick told his mentor.
"Yes, I suppose she does." Bruce nodded. "Having an expert around would make a lot of sense."
He passed the comic to the Doctor who made a face and started to whinge. "Aw hell, you had to go and make it logical? " The Thirteenth complained.
"Doctor?" Alfred turned to him with a raised brow. The elderly butler seemed to calm the alien as he moved toward the outer door.
"She's right. Rapidly evolving species do need help." He sighed, opening the door to a staring, shocked crowd of mutant teens near one of the outdoor pools at Xavier's School for Gifted Children. Xavier himself was grinning from ear to ear at the Time Lord's mental greeting...and offer of assistance. "We'll find them a planet of their own, all of them, mind, if they want to go, that's fine but they have to share. I know of several viable uninhabited planets more than big enough, room for everyone. And I'll drop by from time to time to pick up new ones and take them to them. They're going to need a subspecies name other than 'mutant' though. Homo Sap. El, for elevated should do.
He patted the TARDIS, "There you go, love...you check with Shadow will you, while I attend to this?" He felt the I'm way ahead of you in her smuggest tone. Riaca 3, Doctor.
"This is very welcome news."
"A planet that is new an evolving species will have an effect on that species. A new sun with a different signature effects all the planets in it's system. Conditions on the ground will have an effect as well, there are thousands of factors that your minds and bodies will have to adjust to and I have had to have my TARDIS report what I'm doing to the Shadow Proclamation." He raised a finger in caution to Xavier. "Your starting level will not be all that different from Earth's but downgraded since you will have a very low tech society. So, I shall have a second world of humans to look after, I suppose. She received approval to place your new society on Riaca 3, an Earth type planet in a stage that is conducive to bringing a wide variety of Earth plants and such animal species as adapt rather easily. There are no predators currently on Riaca 3, so we shall be bringing with us, and also at later, various times, large herds of grazing animals and I also suggest your children obtain pets, cats, dogs, birds and such. The TARDIS and I shall see to the rest of what a new colony will need to bring with them. Riaca is roughly three times the size of earth, a bit further out but the star is also larger so it works." He paused, looking around for a sudden disturbance in the timelines around him. "Oh, dear...how long has that been going on? Hang on, child. You're powerful, for a human...but I am no human...let me in."
Scott was still staring, but the Doctor was already stabilizing Jean, showing her what she needed to know, rapidly teaching her new skills that he considered very basic. "Part of Jean's problem is that she's about one quarter Gallifreyan." He told them after receiving a comment from his time-ship that had him first swinging to stare at his ship, then swinging back around to address Jean Gray, her husband and her mentor. "She's got a few things going on she must learn to control, but she'd never have managed on her own or learning from pure humans. I'll deal with it."
Xavier sighed, sincerely hoping Jean was more stable than what he knew of the Rani...or the Doctor, for that matter. He heard tinkling laughter from the ship's direction, hiding a smile from the Doctor as he received reassurances from the TARDIS.
"Who was she born to? Or rather, what are your grandparent's nicknames?"
"Well, only one grandparent has an odd name, my grandmother Bicckerly, who wanted everyone to call her 'Rani', the Doctor paused at the information to groan.
"Sounds like you have a direct tie into this, Doctor."
"So it does. Explains a good bit about Jean though. She's not just a mutant, after all. She's a cross-breed, part human, part Time Lord, like my metacrisis only born so instead of made. She's as natural as cross-species breeding can get and so unlikely to destabilize with the correct training...which I can and shall give her. And Rani would have been careful about the genetics end of things." He told Xavier and Scott. To Jean he commented, "Some of the abilities you thought were mutations are simply things that are normal for my species. Some are not, because you also have the X gene which you were tested for...and which may be something else entirely for the simple reason that Rani did like to experiment on humans, so...let me get the ones I can sort, sorted and then we'll see what we've got left to do. And I need to have a look at that gene."
He took Jean into the TARDIS, leaving the rest of his friends with the Professor for a bit...and took Jean to get a good look at he Time Vortex.
"Okay, we know who Clara is, but who are you three?"
"Bruce Wayne"
"Richard Grayson."
"Alfred Pennyworth, at your service."
"You're kidding right?" Logan chuckled.
"But...those are just characters in comic books." Rogue protested, tossing one over.
Dick caught it, glanced at the cover, grimaced, then pulled a different comic out of a back pocket and toss it back at her. "So are you." He answered grinning at her.
"Aw man..." Logan groused, glancing at the cover over her shoulder. "Now we have to upgrade the uniform colors. That basic black looks so much better than the blue and yellow does."
"Don't feel too bad, we've invited a postwar Harry Potter to travel weeks ago." Clara told Logan. "He should be waking up for good soon...the Doctor put him in an induced sleep to heal. We've gotten him up to feed him, let him shower and change and things like that, but mostly he's in a healing trance the Doctor taught him."
Kitty held up a copy of PoA and pointed at it. "This Harry?"
"COOL!" Robin grinned, happily ignoring the speculative expression on Alfred's face and Bruce's groan. "Besides, between your guidance, Alfred's mothering and Bruce, well, he'll have stable training as well as all the cool Doctor stuff."
Bruce sighed, knowing his young sidekick was entirely correct. He glanced at his butler who nodded while eying Dick after the 'mothering' comment. He and Alfred said a great deal with the eye contact and then Alfred moved over to his countrywoman's side...Clara had been, at various times, a very skilled governess, after all.
"Book Seven only an AU form of it. The TARDIS deaged him to near toddler for three days, after one look at him. The Doctor said that toddlers are easier to heal properly and far more able to bounce back from stress. She brought him up to age fourteen a few days ago, where he'll stay because that's where his emotional maturity is...thank you Dursleys...arseholes. Anyway, Harry going to get to grow up all over again," She told them, glancing at both Bruce and Alfred. "As such, he is mostly my charge and responsibility, though the Doctor is teaching him the sciences himself."
"Understood." Bruce nodded. "Having reared Dick, I've got the needed parenting skills...and he needs a little brother anyway."
"True, also, I'd rather Harry not learn his social skills from the Doctor..." Clara's tone was full of humor.
Bruce and Alfred agreed, immediately and emphatically, with that. "He is British, Master Bruce. Miss Oswald and I shall see to him. He'll see fighting with the Doctor though and the last I knew, the TARDIS has a massive gym. You can see to that end of things."
"AU?" Kitty continued as soon as that seemed settled.
"Well, he came with us...when he found out that Ginny had been primed from birth, nearly, by her mother to marry him...so the Weasleys would have gotten access to the Potter accounts...and we all know how he reacts to things like that...which screwed up Mrs. Weasley's wedding plans..."
"Ah."
"Yeah, it would." Bobby agreed just as the TARDIS returned.
Jean looked a lot older when she stepped out but was clearly well in control of her powers. The Doctor simply handed Xavier a stack of papers, which, as the man went through them, he realized outlined first and then detailed exactly what she could do, which were the Gallifreyan or Time Lady bits and noted those were the ones that the Doctor had trained first. He had knowledge of about half of the other abilities and had those under her control, if not perfect. She was still working on them. Then there was a short list of five abilities he thought were latent and which might or might not go active, what they were, how they worked and how to train them.
It was a huge load from Xavier's mind. "Thank you. We might well have lost her otherwise. I do think that young Harry should be allowed access to training in our Danger Room and I've also called in the Scarlet Witch along with Dr. Strange to see to the rest of Harry's magical education."
"Smart, very smart." Clara nodded.
"No problem, she is a quarter-blood, but also a full Time Lady because genetics can be funny that way. This means that Jean will have to stay with me so I can continue her training. She's welcome to bring her husband if she likes and Logan...I'm interested to see his reaction to Daleks and Jack's reaction to Logan."
Logan just nodded with a toothy grin. "Sounds like my kind of fun either way. Near as I can tell, we're about the same age, Harkness and me."
Xavier contacted Magneto and actually invited him over. When he found out why...a separate planet sounded good. Excellent, in fact. He was disappointed to learn, a bit later, that the seeming metals inside the TARDIS were organic...and no more real metal than the wood of her exterior was real wood. The Doctor shrugged, not bothered by an attempt he'd been expecting.
Magneto sighed. "Had to give it a shot."
"I can always drop you off where we left Joker."
"That could work." He nodded. "Most mutants are with Xav anyway, he trains openly in large numbers. As well, I suppose. So many without training would not be a good thing."
"It's why he usually leaves the school alone." Storm nodded. "He's not stupid after all...just crazy."
"HEY!" Magneto protested as they started the process of gathering up and moving out the trained mutants first.
"Okay, the rules have changed, people." Magneto instructed his followers. "You're housed in Xavier's school to teach new mutants and defend them if need be while we find a planet. Some of this group, myself included are going to the place where the Doctor dropped off the livelier of Batman's group for a bit, some of them sound like mutants anyway so I need to check. We are all going to be one people on a new planet on the other end of the universe from Earth. This means that for now, the Xmen are in charge and for the rest, we shall all be one people from now on. If not for the Doctor, his current companions and his ship this wouldn't be possible."
"The Doctor? Have you gone completely crazy?" Pyro asked in disbelief.
"No. Turns out he thought we were characters in a graphic novel...until Clara insisted he check. Who better to show us into a new age and life on a planet of our own? So we can continue to evolve in peace!" Mystique told him.
"Indeed. They've got Batman and Robin and Harry Potter on board...as companions!" Rogue actually squealed at her. "The Doctor already has a planet approved for us by the Shadow Proclamation, it's just the moving in the things a colony needs along with some people to start the building process, before the main group is brought. Makes sense. He said he's going to be looking out for us the same way he does Earth, too. The Doctor doesn't see a difference, he knows we're humans too."
"Oh, so what probably happened, was that she found out Robinhood was really real and started checking out the rest of Pop Culture. Makes sense." Mystique reasoned. "What is the planet called?"
"Riaca 3. In Doctor parlance that means it's the third planet from the sun, just as Earth is Sol 3."
"Alfred too?" Toad pressed, he was a huge Batman fan.
"Uh huh. And mutants don't have to fight each other anymore, plus the Doctor says our species name should be something like Genus Homo Sapien Elevated, instead of just 'mutant'."
"Well, isn't that something." She sounded pleased and she wasn't the only one.
What Jean and the Doctor failed to mention, but which Clara assumed...along with every Whovian in the crowd, was that the Doctor had already had a little chat with Earth's governments...and with UNIT's assistance brought them firmly to heel over the whole mutant issue. It was just what he did and they understood that.
"I think I'll go fetch young Spidey and his wife before we blow this joint." Logan mused. "He's not the same kind of mutant, but he's still a mutant. Safer with us, after that whole radioactive spider bite thing."
"Hulk too...and Dr. Strange is coming along with the Scarlet Witch. I think Harry will enjoy having them around." Clara put in. "And the Doctor might be able to at least stabilize Banner's genetic tics. Might even get the hulking out part voluntary and with the human, rather than the hulking brain bit."
"Good point." Logan nodded. "Gimmie a few hours." He told them over shoulder as he went to get his bike.
"Oi." The Doctor sighed. "It's a good thing the TARDIS is huge."
"And self-repairing." Robin added. "This is Hulk and Wolverine at playtime we're talking about."
"That too, yes." He replied with a wince.
~Teaser~