The Morning After- Coraline processing what she's done…
I look down at him while he sleeps, feeling nothing but a mild anxiety. Not good- certainly not the joy I had hoped for- and yet not bad. After all, eternity will be his. How can that be bad? I can easily convince myself of that. But how do I convince him? The family will tell me that I should have thought this through better- but I couldn't. I fell for him every bit as hard as he did for me- that smile, those bewitching hazel eyes- who could resist? And now they will be perfectly intact for all eternity, safe, along with the poet's soul that was my undoing.
A moment later, though, my dream shatters. The confusion- the abject fear- on his face as he wakes from his rest is enough to make me forget the up side of this deal. He jumps up, pushing me roughly aside as I try to help him, panicking. I try to calmly talk him through this- hoping that the soothing tones will help. But they don't.
I love him- and I want him with me forever. Is that so wrong? But why, then- why- can't he understand that I had to do this? Can't he see that it is the only way we can be together? But he doesn't. He can only see the hopes he had evaporating in front of him- and for a moment, I can see them too. I know what he had hoped for- we'd talked about it for hours over the last few months. I couldn't break his heart then- which is one reason I kept my secret until tonight- and I can't stand to see it breaking now. At the same time, I know that there will never be a tidy house with a white picket fence for us. No 2.5 children, and no dog. But we will have eternity. I try to remind him of that, but he runs out of the hotel, his now silent heart broken beyond repair. I start to chase him, but then the impossibility of the situation hits me. Monsters don't get happily ever after. I'd heard that saying a hundred times from my Sire, and it seems perfectly apt as I head back into our room for some shoes.
I take a seat on the bed, not sure what road to take. He is still the man I love, and I made him something he despises. I have to help him through this- if I can find him. He needs me right now as he could never need me as a mortal. But the most frightening realization of all is the rate at which my own conviction that I had done the right thing is evaporating as I sit here, looking at the evidence of what had happened. The red stains stare back at me through my tears, mocking what I had thought was a great gift.