I couldn't comprehend this. It was beyond my capacity. As if I'd ever thought that something would ever be beyond my capacity. Nothing ever had been, and until this moment, I had believed nothing ever would be. I saw things with such a sharpness and clearness, and what's more, I could feel the emotions of those around me. So why was this beyond me? The only thing more frustrating then being as pitiful and as misunderstanding as a human, was having the worthless emotions of humans. Emotions such as envy, anger, confusion. At the moment, I was feeling weak. And weak is something that a vampire never feels. Except for now.

Why was it that this newborn, (my face twisted into disgust while thinking the word) this barely-a-day old newborn had more control than I have now. And while I loved this woman who was standing in front of me like she had been my biological sister, I want to rip her dead heart from her cold stone chest. Because she was showing me up. She was proving us all wrong, and me being the most wrong of all. She was showing us that maybe being a newborn isn't that bad, maybe it's just a matter of preparation and mindset to get you through that horrible, blood thirsty decade of life. I hated her for it. After all I had struggled through, being at that filthy school, having to watch all the pretty girls with their warm red cheeks float right by me, untouched, unharmed. I had to feel the boys' lust every time they got within five feet of Alice and I had to restrain myself from ripping their heads off. I didn't need Edward to tell me what fantasies they were conjuring up in their heads about them and her together, I already knew exactly what they had been thinking. I had been the weak link of the family. Edward had been constantly in my head, monitoring my thoughts. Alice couldn't even pay attention in class because she had been too busy watching my future actions. I had torn them from their comfortable life and turned them into security agents; constantly observing and analysing my every move. And after all that, here was this girl showing them that it wasn't necessary, that she was going to be fine on her own. Independence; the one thing I craved above all others.

I needed to get out of this house, right now.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Alice was my side in an instant. Milliseconds ago she had been across the room, sitting with Bella. She had seen my decision, and she had seen that I was going out. "Maybe I can help?"

Alice was… well Alice. She couldn't read minds, but she knew exactly what was wrong with me. She knew me so well.

"Yes, I wouldn't mind if you came." I whispered quickly, careful to make sure Bella didn't notice our conversation. Despite my fury, I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable in our home.

Across the room, Edward snorted softly and gave me a meaningful look. I knew exactly what he would say; always putting others before myself. During battles, I always kept Alice safe before myself. It was the same here with Bella, I would keep her welcome safe, and deal with my problems by myself.

Edward nodded slightly at me. He agreed with me. It was better to make Bella comfortable at this time. We were all she had in the world now, because there was no way she could see her parents right now.

Alice and I slipped quickly out the door and hurtled over the balcony railing onto the dewy grass. And then we ran. We sprinted into the forest as far as the treaty line and stopped at a little stream that flowed from our land to theirs. Alice plopped herself down on a rock and watched me pace back a forth trying to decide what to say first. After organizing the thoughts in my head I began to speak, only to be cut off by Alice.

"It's not the same." Of course she knew what I had decided to say first. "She was ready, she wanted this…she was…" Alice hesitated before she said the last word, "prepared"

"I really wish everyone would stop saying that." I sighed. "It's no excuse for my weakness, she's just stronger"

"Maybe," Alice mused. "But I doubt it. I don't know what's going on, maybe this is her talent?"

"That's unheard of." I snapped, and immediately regretted my brusqueness. I threw an apologetic smile at Alice. She seemed unmoved by my sudden outburst.

"You never know," she smiled slyly. "One might say your talent is unheard of."

"True, but the questions still remains, how?"

"How is anything possible, Jazz? How is our very existence possible? It just is. Just as Bella has a remarkable gift of control."

"I just wish…" My sentence trailed off, it had been harder for her. I finished it in my head.

"I know Jasper. But that's not right. Think of Edward, he would've hated seeing her like that. Just as he hated seeing you like that. It's the best possible outcome for the future. Trust me, I would know." She winked at me and grinned.

I smiled back and kissed her lightly. "Thank-you Alice."

"That's what I'm here for." She replied cheerfully. She leaned into my chest and I put my arms around her. The whole moon was now reflecting off the cool waters of the stream, shining a spotlight on Alice's face as she turned her head up to face me. I leaned in, and our lips locked.