Weddings were always best in the afternoon, and especially the day after Halloween. Beth ran the thought through her head as she spun about the kitchen, clutching the simple violet dress she'd worn to the reunion party back over New Year's. It was an old thing, stitched lovingly with patches up and down the underside- had belonged to her grandmother. And so had the spiral-cord phone that rattled on its hook just as she finished up her waltz.
"Collins Dairy, this is Beth. May I help you?"
She received a nervous chuckle for that. "H-hi, B-B-Beth."
The smile tensed on her face. "Zeke! Hey, I've been meaning to call you. For. Eleven months. Um. Are you planning to be at the wedding today?"
He licked his lips. "Maybe," he replied, his voice all scratchy from acid burns. "I was g-g-gonna be ask. I know I do live almost t-t-t-two hours from f-farm of yours, and this notice is, uh, sh-sh-short, but I k-k-kinda be your way between, and Coourtney won't be take me 'c-c-cuz she's scared a' Chris showin' up, an' I really wanna g-go. Might could you drive?"
"Of course!" Beth grimaced at the ceiling, tracing her hand up and down her throat. "I'd love to. You're my best friend after Linds and Cody, you know?"
They each stood there a moment, cradling the receivers and listening to one another breathe. Beth drummed her fingernails across the violet dress on the counter.
"Zeke? Are you going to hang up now?"
"Ooh, yeah," he said, and the line clicked off. Once he had gone, Beth propped up her elbows and lay both forefingers lengthwise between her mouth and nose. Well. So much for her chipper mood.
It wasn't that she didn't like Ezekiel. No, of course it wasn't that. They'd been so close back at Playa Des Losers- farm kids of a feather and all that. When only two teenagers of twenty are willing to crawl from a cozy bed and paddle about and slurp smoothies at five in the morning, you couldn't help but be close. She'd even thought, once upon a time, that maybe one pale morning at the smoothie bar he'd slide his deep-creased fingers through hers and clasp them, and tilt his head downwards to plant a shy kiss on her lips, and accidentally get her nose or bonk her forehead or click their teeth together.
She'd planned it. How pathetically juvenile.
But the divide had swiped between them when she abandoned him to go off and try to win it all on Season 2. He'd been left alone to wait and wander. And she'd been thrilled to learn he'd finally get his chance with the plane season. Never suspecting that it would poison him from the inside out. And then that radioactive mine he'd been locked in for a month…
Beth scooped up the phone and dialed one of the only numbers she'd long since memorized and that had never escaped her, half-surprised when he actually answered. He didn't always answer these days- just let it slip to voicemail and never signaled that he'd listened. When he did, he'd act all evasive about why he was getting back to her at two in the morning. "Couldn't sleep," he'd usually mumble over the bonging of the two grandfather clocks at the base of his front staircase. "Being home alone this late just makes me jumpy."
"Hi, Cody."
"Hey! Is this Beth?" There was a gap-toothed smile glittering in his voice. "I was just thinking about you a few minutes ago, heh heh. We really should get together again one of these days. What's up with you?"
She smoothed a wrinkle in her bright dress. "Oh, nothing much. I'm just about to head out and grab Zeke, and we were wondering if you'd want to carpool with us to Tyler and Sierra's wedding tonight." If there was one detail she wished she could change, it would be Tyler's bride.
"NO! No! No! Oh, please oh please oh please oh, no. No, no, no. I would rather be anywhere else in the entire solar system than ever see her again." His scrambling shattered into sobs. "Don't make me go! Please, oh please. I beg you from the last shreds of kindness I have in my soul! Don't make me go!"
Pause.
Beth hooked her phone on the wall again. "So I guess we're a negative on Cody."
The dishes in the sink she'd been addressing didn't so much as shift in answer. She buried her face in her hands and clenched light wisps of sugar-brown hair. This was a mistake. Now she had no choice but to get in the car with him alone. For three hours.
She finished curling her hair in waves and dabbed on a bit of make-up. The gray truck sat dusty and lived-in down by the barn. It was all hers. A birthday present for when she'd left for college, though she'd come home for the weekend to get a head-start on that agonizing drive.
Still worth it. Beth drove everywhere she could. When it was the black pick-up rolling around Ezekiel's hometown, the locals had all assumed he was the one driving. And when he and she had sped off to visit Lindsay, that had been her foot pressing the pedal down, too. She much preferred the weight of groundedness to the stomach-wrenching flying sensation offered by the big iron birds in the sky. Even though she'd sat on the sidelines the whole time, Season 3 had been rough on them all.
Especially Ezekiel, Beth thought as she pulled up in front of his farm two hours later. There wasn't a living being in the world who would argue against that point, except maybe Alejandro. But though the lava had stung and left him paralyzed for two years from the waist down, most would still hook thumbs in Ezekiel's direction when the question was asked. After all, Alejandro hadn't been driven so mad with trauma and genetic disorders and all the CP pills he'd wolfed into his system that he went feral.
Ezekiel stood down near the curve in the road by the brittle apple orchard, pressed into a rumpled gray suit. Spencer was wrestling a purple tie around his neck, and it made the vaccination tags on his collar jingle. He wore a toque to match. The hunch still showed faintly along his back, and he probably wouldn't grow out of it for as long as he lived. Which, evidence suggested, wouldn't be for very long.
"Hey."
She swung down the radio so it merely bubbled. "Hey."
They looked one another over. Geez, it had been two years since last she'd really looked at the scrawny hick who had once been her best friend. He made a poor sight for unsore eyes.
"Um. It's unlocked, Zeke. When you're ready. You look nice."
Spencer popped the door and set Ezekiel's backpack, with his EpiPens and medication and things, on the dashboard. Beth refused to look at him, either. Lindsay had mentioned once that Total Drama had done a number on his mind too - he'd even gone and switched his name - and when Lindsay told a story like that in much the same detail Zoey did over the phone, you knew it was bad. Too young to have your life destroyed. Too old to be saved. Either one of them.
Ezekiel crawled in and slipped his gloved hands into his lap. He stared forward as Spencer took the seatbelt and snapped him in. The door shut with the younger boy's fumbled well wishes, and he trotted off, adjusting his multicolored scarf.
"You not trust Zeke," were the first words out of his mouth. He didn't even wait for her to shift gears.
"Ezekiel, don't say that. I'm Beth. You remember me. We're friends."
"Your smell not trust," he retorted.
Beth couldn't reply to a loaded question like that. Instead, she tapped her nail against the radio. "You want to pick a station?"
She drove. He scratched his scabbed-over, green-tinted wrist and began to fumble with the controls. Click. Click. Click. Click clack.
"I remember when, I remember when, I remember when I lost my mind. There was something so pleasant about-"
Click. "It is a lovely thing that we, the animal, the animal instinct-"
Click. "I'm only a man with a candle to guide me. I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me. A monster, a monster, I've turned into a mon-"
Click. "Not one for human connections, but I feel restless piercing your flesh-"
Click. "I didn't see it coming with my head stuck in the sand, but now I'm losing a friend. And it's keeping me up, it's the ribbons I tied, I would rather just die-"
Click. "I never had no one that I could count on. I've been let down so many times-"
Beth switched the radio off. "Here. Use the music app on my phone. It's in the cup holder. You know how, right? It's pretty similar to Courtney's PDA."
The screen wouldn't read his gloves. With a suppressed moan, Ezekiel eased the fuzzy white thing from his left hand. He'd been left-handed when he was human. His mutated fingernails flashed in the corner of her vision. Beth tightened her lips and focused her eyeballs forward on the road as it turned from a dirt side path to solid mica. Very forward.
The phone blared in his lap. Ezekiel jumped, a snarl bursting from his chest. "Answer?" Beth asked, then, "Oh, Zeke- give it here. Here!"
He plopped the iPhone in her outstretched right hand. She thumbed the green button without checking the screen and held it to her ear.
"Sorry," Eva grunted before Beth could ask who it was. "Izzy butt-dialed you. By bouncing up and down on my phone until this call went through. Izzy Garcia, you get back here! Put that down! The neighbors are gonna think we're keeping donkeys and elephants in here."
Beth shrugged. "No prob, Eva. Easy, Zeke. Eva's your friend. Hey, are you gonna be at Tyler and Sierra's wedding?"
"Wish we could- I haven't seen Ol' Fussin' Feathers in ages. But even with Izzy, I don't think we're gonna make it. See, my sister and her husband came up to the college town just to visit me for the weekend. First time I've seen her since my dad's funeral. I invited Iz and Noah to come trick-or-treating with my little nephew around the campus and stuff last night."
"... You didn't."
"Ooh d-dear," Ezekiel said, drawing his knees up to his chest.
Eva paused. "Yeah. Pretty much a guarantee that we traumatized… everyone."
"Is she doing-?"
"She's Izzy. What do you expect?" There were footsteps. A rustle like blinds being shifted to the side. "She's on about her twenty-third lap around the building since two this morning. She still hasn't crashed."
There was another moment of silence.
"You know what, I need to go after her. Noah! Noah, I'm chasing down Iz, an' I sure as heck ain't bringing my phone this time after she bit my hand and chucked it into the hot tub, so you wanna talk to Beth and Ezekiel?"
There was a moan. A long moan. "What?"
Beth glanced at Ezekiel. He lifted his head from the window and bared his teeth in a wicked grin. She mirrored it with slightly-less-vicious teeth.
"You wanna milk this, Zeke, or should I?"
"Ooh, please." He placed one hand on his stomach and mimed a bow. "L-ladies first, eh?"
"Only if you insist."
"Huh?" That was Eva on the line again. "Did you guys say something?"
"Nothing, nothing, just talking to Zeke. So, how is Noah holding up? Knowing him" - she and Ezekiel finished it together - "he got so high off candy corn (e-eh)."
Eva chuckled. "He's gonna hate that you remembered. That little addiction gets worse with every passing month. But surprisingly, no. He's okay. We kept him in check."
Ezekiel tried (and failed) to snap his awkward fingers. "S-so close."
Eva's voice grew softer as she pulled the phone away. "Well, mostly. Here he is. All right, Noah. I am putting my utmost faith in you. Please don't burn up my dorm or Iz'll never let me hear the end of it."
"Wow, don't choke on all that confidence, hon."
Beth grinned, speeding up onto the freeway. "Hey, Noah. I was just wondering: What's that word for when someone takes pleasure in another person's misfortune? Not sadism, the 'e' word?"
"… What?"
"Oh, let's not play dumb now." Beth flicked her turn signal and scooted the car to the next lane. "Cody spilled about your primary gift eons ago, Mr. Wordsmith, and then Eva just let slip that you got into the candy corn last night."
Ezekiel giggled. "'Tis a g-good thing you guys ain't comin' up tonight, eh? Might g-get'cha selves a DUI."
"I am not drunk!" Noah seemed to slam his palm on a pillow. "You can't get drunk off candy corn- why do I always have to…? Ugh. I am on a sugar high, yes. I feel sick to my stomach, yes. But I am still fully-functioning, and I can walk in a straight line. See? See? You don't… Elizabeth Collins, look at me, dangit!"
"It's a phone, Noah. We can't see you. And my name is Tabitha."
"Are you sure y'aint drunk, h-homie? Maybe Izzy snuck a li'l s-somethin' in your candy."
He sighed. "Okay. I'll confess it- I did go to town on the stuff last night. That means I stuffed myself like a piñata full of goody bags, Homeschool" ("I know what it m-means," he protested). "And if you would've seen how much candy Izzy managed to rake in, your resolve would've melted way before mine. I am coming down from an enormous sugar peak right now. I wish Eva hadn't left. My hand is jittering so hard that ten minutes ago I swore I counted five fingers. Oh, stupid corn syrup… stupid allergies… stupid primary… Cruel irony has left me simultaneously loving and cursing my choice in friends."
"It's 'epicaricacy', Noah."
"… What?"
Beth slid into the carpool lane. "The word for me enjoying your misfortune. It's 'epicaricacy'. I just thought I'd bring it up, seeing as at this rate you probably won't remember for another five hours."
"Spoiler alert," he grunted, and hung up.
They swept through Krispy Kreme about half an hour before they reached the barn. Beth didn't miss the gasp from the drive-thru employee as he handed their doughnuts through the window. Maybe if she were Courtney, who had worked so painstakingly to pluck Ezekiel up and mold him into her perfect boyfriend, then Beth would have snapped, "Back off! You're not much of a looker yourself, buddy!"
Instead, Tabitha Amber Collins ducked her head until they'd eased back onto the road.
Ezekiel ripped into his treat with his jagged teeth. Yes, he was trying to be careful and break small pieces off before he nibbled them, but when you literally had shark fused in with your DNA, tearing was the natural instinct. Blue and brown acid dripped from his chin and boiled sizzling holes in his napkin. A sheen of it covered his fingers when he licked off the last of the glaze.
Outside the rustic barn, Beth pulled the pick-up to a halt on the pebbles alongside several other vehicles. She abandoned the truck quickly and breathed in sweet-smelling air. Through a miracle, she'd survived the drive with Ezekiel Foster perched right beside her in his sickly, grotesque, semi-feral state. Well, how did you like them apples?
Ezekiel tapped on the glass with his exposed green fingers. "B-Beth? Can't. Seatbelt. H-h-help?"
Beth hesitated. The sky tasted so delicious. Fresh. She didn't want that to end. Not yet.
But she went around and unclicked the door. Ezekiel wriggled, and she took him by both gloved hands and helped him to the ground.
"Your, um… Your hat is crooked."
"Soorry. You f-f-fix it for me?"
Swallowing multiple bobbing lumps, Beth reached up on her toes and placed her hands on either side of his toque. She shifted it over his scrappy tufts of hair.
"Well." Ezekiel licked his lips, coating them with a glint of acidic slime. He offered her his arm. "T-T-Tabitha Amber C-Collins, I m-might have th-the honor?"
Beth lay her hand on his elbow and shut her eyes. "Ezekiel Adam Foster, you may."
With his shaky legs in the lead, they passed through the squeaky white gate and started up the dusty rocky path. Mostly the road was bare of decorations, but occasionally one chanced upon clumps of marigolds and violets, which at least filled the air with flowery, non-feral scents.
"I do like this place," she murmured to Zeke as they approached the two great red barns. "I have an aunt and uncle who were married here when I was seven or eight."
"S-s-smells kinda like h-home," he said wistfully.
White folding chairs were set up in the first barn like the aisle and altar, but the second was clearly the reception area, and several familiar and unfamiliar faces were bustling about inside. Beth and Ezekiel had hardly set in their feet when the cameras flashed.
"And here comes our next power couple on the scene," someone called. Microphones were shoved forward.
"Beth, what's your opinion on Tyler and Sierra?"
"Ezekiel, what prompted this sudden cheating on Courtney?"
"Do you have any juicy scoops for us about the newlyweds?"
"Can you give us some deets on the next Total Drama couple that may tie the knot?"
"Hey, hey, you're in the shot!"
"Is this the beginnings of a happily-ever-after, or is it true what the rumors say about Tyler marrying Sierra only for the publicity?"
"Beth, are you prepared to fight off Courtney if she gets wind that you're a boyfriend-stealer?"
"Where did you get that dress?"
"Is this how they have weddings back on the farm, or are you out of your league?"
"Have you heard from Cody recently? Does he have any light to shed on the situation?"
"Who else might we be seeing tonight?"
"Is it true that Chris McLean had to cancel his appearance here tonight after that hot air balloon incident on the latest season of Total Drama? What's your opinion on that sexy Lionel boy who made it on? A looker and a sweetheart? It doesn't get much better than that."
"Beth, Beth-"
Ezekiel growled and swiped at one of the cameras. His exposed fingernails sliced across the lens with a shiek! The paparazzi retreated a few steps, still snapping shots and keeping the video cameras rolling and babbling on.
"Zeke!" Beth yanked on his sleeve. "Zeke, snap out of it! Calm down!"
"Hey! Didn't Katie and I just get through telling you camera-toting freaks to hit the deck? No photo shoots until the ceremony is done, by order of the groom!"
"Hear, hear," Katie shouted, clapping her hands as she and Sadie elbowed several members of the paparazzi away. Sadie grinned at Beth and grabbed her wrist.
"Come on, just come a little deeper in the barn. If you'd been here a few minutes earlier, you would've gotten to see Tyler flipping out at them all funky-fresh in his tux."
The paparazzi retreated to the other side of the doorway, but didn't really leave. Beth did her best to ignore them as Katie and Sadie fluttered off to talk to a few other guests, and focused her attention instead on ensuring that Ezekiel had stabled out again. His breathing still sounded vaguely like snarls and his brows had pushed together like an arrow. Drool leaked down his cheek. His fingers were tight in her arm. But his eyes were focused (or as focused as they ever got) and he appeared to be in control of himself still.
He picked up the stench of lavender before she did. Which he would, being what he was. Beth did her utmost to keep him upright, but he growled low in his throat and hunched more and more with every passing footstep.
Beth twisted her lips. There was one girl who had reeked of that flower since day one. Ironic, really, considering the fact that she was named after a different plant entirely, even if they did bear a similar color.
"Heather."
Heather had come for the guest book. It lay in her hands and she halfway turned around before she realized they were there. The pen slipped from between her fingers but, swiping like the cat with whom she shared her pointed nails, she grabbed it from the air before it could tumble very far. Ezekiel flinched at the flash of movement nonetheless.
"Beth."
Ezekiel let out a whining noise like he expected her to acknowledge his presence, too.
"What are you doing here, Heather?" After three hours of sweating beside Ezekiel with no witnesses around, Beth couldn't bring herself to play nice anymore. "Last I checked, your relationship with Sierra was strained at best, and Tyler loathed you for how you treated Lindsay."
Heather placed one hand on her left hip, smoothing wrinkles out of the light purple fabric. Her long hair twirled halfway down her back, blooming with energy like it had never been killed. "Lindsay isn't here, now is she? And, on Sierra, you ought to update your tabs. As it happens, I'm on somewhat better terms with her than most of the rest of you million-dollar rejects. That's how I got an invitation. I wasn't about to let this opportunity pass. Who else is going to invite me to their wedding? Cody, and maybe Lindsay. Very big maybe. This could in theory be the last time in my life I see some of you. There was someone in particular I came here looking for, but…"
Beth glanced around. "Where's the happy couple?"
"Oh, Tyler's in that general area." Heather flicked her hand towards the right-hand end of the barn, though Beth didn't catch his face among the many other people who had clustered there.
"I am h-h-here," Ezekiel managed. "H-hi, eh?"
Heather rotated her half-lidded silver gaze around on him, which he met, blinking stubbornly. "Hello, Ezekiel. It was kind of you to allow Beth to tag along with you for the afternoon."
"He didn't bring me. I brought him!"
Instead of responding, Heather shrugged, gripped the guest book, and clipped away in her high heels. Sparkly earrings jangled. Beth heard Ezekiel let out another throat noise behind her. She didn't want to turn around.
But eventually, she had to. "Come on," she said with a gentle tug on his gray sleeve. "Let's go greet the lovebirds. That's what we came here for, isn't it?"
Ezekiel plucked at the fluff of his deep purple hat with gloved fingers. He made some noise that was likely an agreement, because he skulked after her.
Tyler stood on the stage with Sadie's niece, fixing the plait in her hair while she giggled and tried to clutch all her flowers to her chest. She reached up and pecked him on either cheek and left him smiling grimly as she skipped off back to her mother. He smoothed out his tie with two fingers.
How strange he looked without that red and white headband to push back his thick brown curls. How groomed. Professional. Calm. Mature. Tyler always had been among the oldest of all of them, chasing Bridgette's wobbly heels with his own clumsy feet, but he'd never… looked the part until then. Beth had no shame in elbowing through the crowd of well-wishers and lingering Celebrity Manhunt reporters to reach him. When she did, she dropped Ezekiel's arm and threw her own around Tyler's neck.
"Beth," he chuckled, sliding them back down. Bright hazel eyes danced like her face was the first good news he'd been privy to all day. They'd always done that for as long as she'd known him; it was just an inborn bubbly Tyler thing. His cheekbones pinkened with her forward touch, though he never lost his grin. "Heh. Yeah, you maybe shouldn't pull that jumpy-boing-boing hug you do anymore after today. Someone might think you're flirting with the groom, huh?"
"What, on your wedding day? Pssh, as if. I'd never want to strip you of your happiness."
Ezekiel cleared his throat, and Tyler stopped fiddling with his boutonniere and glanced at him. Because he was Tyler, his grin broadened like a drawbridge. "Zed! You made it! Aw, this is fantastic! Best wedding ever!"
Tyler embraced him and then Beth again, then drew away with his hands still clasped on her lower shoulders. "If there's anything I can do to make this day even happier for you, just let me know, guys."
She couldn't restrain her giggle. "Tyler, it's your day. Don't you worry about me."
He grimaced through his smile. The flashing lights of cameras reflected off his face. "Aw, I think me and Sierra are prob'ly already as happy as we can be."
"Speaking of which, where is she?"
Tyler shrugged. "So, I'm not supposed to get to see her until she walks down the aisle. Don't know. She's getting ready in the farmhouse somewhere."
"And when is that?"
He checked the clock on the wall, and his face paled. "About fifteen minutes. I gotta go double-layer-checkmark with my best man DJ that everything's good, Beth. Zeke. Catch ya both later."
"'Bye," they both called after him, and spent a moment watching him shove his way through the crowds of reporters and gossip-seekers to the bathroom door.
"Well?" Beth faced Ezekiel again. "This is where we'll come when the ceremony's over, for cake and salad and potatoes and whatever. Until then, we're one barn too far west."
He nodded. In the first barn, they accepted a program from Tyler's mother written in both English and Portuguese and began hunting for empty seats. In the middle area, Beth took the spot that had been left between Trent and that wizard kid who went to the school where Ezekiel's dad taught (His name was… Leon? Leonard? She almost didn't recognize him without the green robes, and she found herself wondering if he had even received an invitation, or simply invited himself along because he felt entitled to after how he and Tyler had hit it off at the New Year's party). Ezekiel sat by himself on the end of the row, his hands pinched safely between his knees. In the whole ten minutes as people filed in, the bridesmaids and groomsmen lined up at the front, he didn't twitch a muscle. Granted, she did only look one time.
Silence began to fall as the great doors closed. Trent, Leonard, and Beth all glanced back in the hopes of catching any last stragglers slipping in. The light music flickered on overhead. Someone in the front of the room cleared his throat.
"Audience, please stand for the bride."
Oh no, Beth thought, craning her neck to see past Owen.
"Oh no," Leonard whimpered behind her. "And I let Scarlett talk me out of bringing my wand today."
"I want him at my wedding," Owen decided. Then he backpedaled with, "I mean, I don't want to marry him, but I want him. There, I mean. I'll shut up."
He was still favoring one leg after that hot air balloon crash, but Chris McLean looked as though he couldn't possibly be much happier as he led Sierra through the frozen crowd in her flowing white dress. Well, in a twisted way that makes sense, Beth found herself thinking. Chris didn't have any daughters of his own to walk up the aisle with at their own weddings, and likely never would. Nor sons either. His ex-reality show casts were his children. Disturbing as that was to dwell on.
Then Beth's eyes fell on Sierra's stomach and instantly it all clicked about why they had decided to marry so fast.
"Tyler," she murmured, "you stupid, stupid idiot."
The altar wasn't much of an altar. Technically it was a great red brick shipped in from the edge of Showtown, but its purpose was much the same. A Mason jar about halfway full of water sat on top of it. Chris offered Sierra's hand out to Tyler, grinning wide enough that Beth could see it even all the way from behind him and in between rows of shifting people. "Tyler," he said, "I expect you to take real good care of her, brah."
Tyler's smile was tight when he hugged Chris back. "I can do that."
"You may now be seated."
Beth gathered up her purple skirts and crossed her ankles, half-regretting her choice to sit down. Honestly, not a lot of people probably would have noticed if she'd remained standing. Fortunately for her, Owen recognized her predicament and boosted her up on his knee in time for her to watch Tyler wrap Sierra's hands in his own, both of them standing across the brick and jar and just staring at one another, silent and unsmiling.
"Tyler," DJ whispered, "you're on."
"What? Oh. Yeah." He swallowed. His gaze flicked to the ceiling and stayed there for a moment before he squeezed his eyelids shut. Was he thinking of a certain cheerful blonde, like Beth was when she saw him twitch? She still liked Tyler as an old friend, but she'd lost a great deal of respect for him when she first got wind of his proposal to Sierra, a mere eleven months after his breaking up with Lindsay. Who had been his girlfriend of four years. Tyler had just turned twenty-one back in August two months ago, and someone was certainly eager to settle down and raise a family.
"Sierra Noel Brooks," Tyler began, hovering over each word, "My name is Tyler Horatio Thompson, and I want to marry you."
A few muffled giggles sprang up around the crowd, and from Chris where he stood near DJ. Tyler spared them a glance of anxiety clashing with terror, and everyone closed their mouths. His fingers were shaking. His arms were shaking. His entire body was shaking.
He didn't look like he wanted to be here at all.
"S-Sierra Noel Brooks," he started again, "you're, um, my friend and companion, and I want you to always be that way, like forever and ever. Before all these people here and Those of the Beyond, I vow to take care of you and, uh, our children and their children, and to… always make sure your edges stay clean and your eyes bright with color and your scratches and bruises kissed and bandaged up."
Sierra repeated the vow with a few more words and a little less stumbling, supplying her name in place of Tyler's. Then, they picked up the jar together and faced the crowd. As one, the pair held it up and said, "If this isn't the true path that the Great TOM and JEN of The World Beyond the Barrier have painted for us as a pair, let them make it known now before all our hundred witnesses."
All eyes fixed on jar of water. A full sixty seconds passed, and it didn't turn inky black. The seal was valid. Tyler sagged, and probably in relief.
"Right," he said as they lowered the jar to the brick again. "So…"
Chris leaned in and stage-whispered, "This is when you smooch the bride, dude."
As the cheers exploded, it crushed Beth that Tyler didn't hesitate. Was it wrong that even on his own wedding day, she found herself privately rooting for him to call the whole thing off and get back together with Lindsay? They belonged together. Had for four years. He and Sierra didn't seem to… click the right way. Something about the way he kept staring at his hands, something about the way she kept glancing about with an expectant look on her face like she thought Cody would leap in to propose instead. It just wasn't… right.
Tyler and Sierra stayed pressed together for a long time as if daring the other to be the first to break away. When they came apart, they almost seemed to ooze. Their smiles were sort of awkward grimaces. Then, Tyler raised their clasped hands above his head and faced the crowd.
"Tyerra is officially super canon forever, woo-hoo, yeah!"
And after that, they lit a single candle together with those linked hands, and the audience was released to enjoy the buffet in the other barn.
"My lady, if I may?" Leonard asked, holding out his upturned hand.
"It would be a pleasure," Beth said, slipping her fingers in his. He tugged out her chair and they sat together through the toasts, and cheered together when bride and groom stuffed icing and cake crumbs all over one another's noses and the very ends of their hair. When Beth lost Leonard at last on the way to the snaking line around the buffet table, Ezekiel trotted up to her, puffing through his nose.
"I was h-hoping no C-C-Chris," he sighed, making the attempt to tug on his toque. "Don't want s-seein' him anymore, eh?"
"Me neither. But Sierra's dad left them when she was ten, and we all know what a huge fan of his she is, so I guess he's something like the closest-"
"Did I hear an adorable sweetheart speak my name?"
Beth turned, and couldn't hide her grin when she spotted Sierra standing there at the edge of the table, so lovely and fragile when frosted in her white gowns and lace. Tyler had his arm draped around her neck, nodding and smiling without showing his teeth.
"My personal congratulations to you both," Beth said with a curtsey.
"Heh, yeah. Thanks. If there's anything I can do for you, just let me know."
Sierra hugged her, squishing her up against her swollen belly. "So glad you could come! Did you perchance bring Codykins along?"
Beth could taste the sweat dribbles trickling down her spine. "Haha, nope!"
"Ah, well." Sierra shrugged and moved on to the guests in line behind Beth and Ezekiel, neither of whom Beth recognized.
"So weird that there's already a baby on the way… I wonder if they've settled on a name yet. But I don't want to be the one who brings attention to the elephant in the room."
"I doon't see any e-e-el'phants, but I'll ask her f-for ya, eh?" Ezekiel raised his voice. "E-e-excuse me, S'erra, but do you g-gotten names picked for your b-baby?"
Subtle.
While Tyler made his way back towards the cake, patting backs and exchanging smiles, Sierra turned and traced a hand over her stomach area. A giggle spread over her face. "I'm leaning towards Cody and Tyler wants a Randy, but really, so long as he's born healthy and tough, I don't really care what we call him. I'm thinking I'll let my blog-followers vote in a poll, hee. I just know he'll be beautiful and look just like his dad."
"Uh…" Ezekiel pointed at Sierra's midsection. "That's a girl."
She shook her head. "Boy. Doctor said. And he's a kicker too. Oh yes he is, oh yes you are, my little Codykins. You're a feisty one just like you're daddy already, aren't you? But maybe you won't be so much trouble to get into bed, hee hee."
Ezekiel shifted his gaze between her and Beth. Then he ducked his head. "M-mother knows b-best, eh?"
They met up with Tyler again near the end of the buffet. As he sent Topher off with a thumbs up and a wave, Beth tucked a curl behind her ear. "What do think about the baby, Tyler? Sierra said you were leaning towards the name Randy."
Tyler's mouth twitched in the corner. "Randy's nice, but we keep going back and forth. Whatever makes Sierra happy, I guess. I don't really care what we call him. I just want him to always be happy and get that he's loved, y'know? And I wanna teach him to play sports just as well as I can." His smile went a bit more dazed. "Aw, I can't wait to hold him."
"Her," Ezekiel corrected.
Beth elbowed him in the shoulder. "Hey Tyler, I hate to sound all nosy, but I don't like to trust the tabloids too much. When did you and Sierra start dating, exactly?"
"Yeah homie, w-why'd you break up with L-Lindsay, eh?"
Captain Subtlety makes a comeback. Beth wished he were wearing his sweatshirt, because she rather wanted to flip the hood over his eyes and dump him in a trashcan right now. It was garbage day.
Tyler blinked. He blinked again. Then a third time as Beth snuck a strawberry into her mouth. He began to stray towards one of the tables, and Ezekiel and Beth followed him. "Oh. Oh, Lindsay was a great girlfriend. Really, I love her. Loved, I mean, with an undercase 'd' tagged on the end like a flippy-flappy flag. She just wasn't a good…" He hesitated above the word. "Aw, shoot. I mean, I did love her. Oh man, she had eyes like cotton candy and she was as sweet as sweet sugar, but she… then one time she…"
"Sh-sh-sh'what?" Ezekiel breathed.
"Um, she kinda wibbly-wobbled down my entire house and almost killed all three of my little brothers who were in it, and my parents freaked out. So then they got me all freaked, and I… I kinda flipped, y'know? I was a jerk to her in her weakest moment, which she totally didn't deserve. I hurt her feelings real bad. Next day I tried to call her and get her 'pologized to right straight, but she'd told her sisters about our fight and Paula instammediately whisked her off for a three-week trip to the Bahamas, and I ended up moving to Manitoba and hanging with Cody. And, um, that's about when I started getting involved with Sierra." He scratched his head, avoiding their eyes. "So, yeah. Lyler didn't… end… well. The fans were crushed. But. Celebrity relationships, y'know? Not all of them end in happiest always afters. Like mine and Sierra's."
He stared down at his shiny shoes. Shifted one on top of the other. "Aw, man. I had one job- to thank my Linds for the memories and let her go as gently as possible. And I couldn't even do that right. Some boyfriend."
"Why not you f-fix her?" Ezekiel asked, with immense seriousness. "Coourtney f-fixed me."
"What, you mean, like… change her? Against her will? I couldn't do that! I don't control her."
"S'not control," he insisted. He patted his chest. "Just h-helpin', eh? She needs you."
Tyler narrowed his eyes. Ezekiel widened his and stepped back, lifting his hands. "W-wasn't bein' sexist, homes! I just thought-"
"And here comes Trent." Tyler held his knuckles out to Ezekiel for a fistbump. "Anyway, thanks again for swinging up here, Zed. You've always rocked. Let me know if there's anything I can do for you today."
"Not p-problems. I'm glad I could make it f-for my homie. Maybe you come for w-w-wedding with me someday." As Trent joined them at the table, Ezekiel wriggled a small velvet box from his pocket and, with some slight fumbling, managed to pry it open. A small diamond glinted in the sun. "D'ya like it?" he asked, his gaze turning almost shy. "I been c-carryin' it for a month, hangin' for just the p-perfect time. G-gonna come soon. I do feel it, eh?"
Trent ruffled his toque as he took the folding chair beside him. "Heh. Way to go, dude. Be sure to ring me up when the day rolls around."
Tyler chuckled. "Yeah bro, if anyone here were strong enough to put up with Courtney for all eternity, it'd be you."
"Coourtney?" Ezekiel cocked his head. "This ain't f-f-for Coourtney. This's for St-Staci, eh?"
Trent shot Beth an Oh, crap glance over Ezekiel's head. "Um, have you actually asked Staci out yet, bud? Like, does she know you're even interested?"
"Uh-huh. Lessee… I b-brought her pigeons for Val'tine's D-Day. An' I come for her sister's Bat Misty th-thing, eh? An' we come to the fire 'partment an' got ta ride the tr-truck when the, well, I guess M-Mike kid's house burning fire."
Beth tapped her forefingers against her lip. "Zeke, don't take this the wrong way, but… Staci is terrified of you. And she's the super chill one of her season."
Tyler placed a hand on his shoulder. "Sorry, man."
He blinked. "But… but we 'liminated first to our seasons! An' both lost our h-hair, eh? We're a match."
Trent said, "She also supposedly has a boyfriend who can build her whatever her heart desires and won't ever tell her to shut up, assuming she's actually to be believed for once."
"And so do you," Tyler finished. "I mean, you've got a girlfriend now, and it's not her."
Ezekiel stuffed the small box back in his pocket. "Yeah. I know. I was very 'fraid you g-g-guys gonna tell me things a' that, eh? S-sometimes it's just nice pretendin' not real." He scowled at his cake, then up at the rafters. "I guess ring's for C-Coourtney, then. Someday when I r-ready."
"Um…" Beth scooted her chair closer to the table. "But like, only if you love her, y'know? Don't ask her to marry her unless you love her."
He shrugged. "Well, don't got other choices a' girls, eh? Who wants ta hold hands with Freakiel?"
Even Beth had to concede to that. These days he almost always wore the white gloves, and Courtney worked hard to keep his nails trimmed back, but to Beth, the warm fingers that had once clicked smoothie glasses against her own would forever be tipped with gnarled claws.
But what she said was, "It's not like you're running out of time. We're all just breaking into our twenties. There's no need to rush into marriage now. I mean, that's a huge deal! You can't tell me that of all the wonderful people in the world, you've for sure found your soulmate already. She could still be out there. Why hop out of the dating pool and tie yourself down so early?"
Ezekiel gave her a long, patient look, his feral hands still tucked in his jacket.
Oh. Right.
"Uh." Tyler took a step away. "Sierra's totally waving at me. I've gotta sprint, okay? See you guys later."
Trent gave Ezekiel another pat on the shoulder. "Well, I hope things work out for you, buddy. Good luck."
Ezekiel placed his hand on Trent's before the other boy could take his seat (and Beth saw Trent flinch). "What f-for you, homie? Any luck datin' since last time s-saw each other?" He paused, then added in a bitter voice, "I mean, since C-Coourtney saw you guys at reunion party b-b-back Jan'ary?"
Ouch. So maybe he was still bitter about not being invited after all. She really, really should have put up a bigger fight about that to Katie and Sadie. No matter what he'd been through, he would always be one of their gang.
Still, it had been so nice to spend the night laughing and talking with all the other ex-contestants, including the ones from the other casts that she hadn't met in person before, without worrying that someone might skin their knee or give themselves a papercut and send Zeke flying into an acid-flinging bloodlust again.
"I've met a girl," Trent scratched his collar. "She seems pretty special. But I thought that about the one before her, and the one before her, so we'll have to see how things take off."
"I'm glad for ya," Ezekiel said, sounding like he wasn't. He took up his fork and sawed into his cake. Beth watched him as she picked at her own. It was slow going, and even when the fork finally made it into his mouth, when he pulled it out it was sizzling and black at the tips. On his fifth attempted bite, so little of the tines was left that more of the cake ended up in his lap than on his tongue.
"I'll get you a new one and some napkins," Beth offered, hoping that he couldn't tell from her voice just how badly she wanted to. Jumping up, she hurried back to the buffet table. There, she bumped into Heather, who was practically grinding into Tyler with her teeth, frustration printed all over her face.
"Come on," she was saying, "they're just stupid reporters. The rest of us don't believe that this was all a publicity stunt. You love Sierra, don't you? I mean, I would certainly hope so considering that you just pledged your eternal binding devotion in front of an entire barn full of witnesses and undoubtedly thousands or millions of people through the media. Pretty hard to talk your way out of that now."
He glanced Beth's way, then down at the white plate he clenched between his jittering fingers. "Hey, can we please not talk about this out here? The cameras are on Sierra and baby-talk stuff, but they're not gonna forget about me forever, y'know?"
"Tyler… I am right, aren't I? You married Sierra for love, not for publicity. I know you're smarter and better than that."
His gaze danced from the plate in his left hand to the fork in his right. He clenched his fist. "She's a good person when you give her a chance."
Beth frowned, holding several napkins in her fist but unable to tear herself away from the conversation. "But Tyler, that wasn't the question."
"Sierra's fine. I like her just the way she is, you know?"
"Tyler," Heather said, another note of agitation creeping into her voice, "if you don't really love her, why did you even propose to her to begin with?"
Tyler's lower lip began to tremble, but he straightened his back and lowered the plate and clinked down the fork and crossed his arms and then he tipped up his chin. "Because I" - a grin broke out over his face - "I am the greatest best friend in the entire world."
"Wha- when they say you should marry your best friend, Tyler, they meant that the person you marry ought to stay your best friend forever after marriage, too."
He laughed in his cheery, snorting way. "Nah, Heather, I don't think Cody would really go for that. Not real sure I'm his type. And I only like girls."
Beth narrowed her eyes. Was this going where she thought it was going? "So, how does marrying Sierra help make you Cody's best friend?"
"Don't tell me you both showed up at his freakin' mansion to bother him so much and he hid so well that she fell in love with you instead."
"Actually, yep." Tyler's thin mouth tilted upward in lopsided apology. "Heh. You could say that's kinda sorta pretty much almost entirely how it exactly went down, more or less, and you'd nearly be right. We went out. And again. And again. Kinda became a thing for several months. Maybe you heard about us in the tabloids? Yep. Yep. So like, one day I proposed, and she said yes. Now we get our happily ever after and everything's okay again."
Heather rolled her eyes. "And she was so perfect that you just couldn't wait to get her pregnant, like a loser."
"Huh?" Tyler frowned. "Hey, no. Who's spreading that around under my ears? That wasn't me."
"Oh, really?"
That made him roll his eyes right back at her. One hand tugged at his purple tie. "Yeah, really. If I could stay a virgin when I had Lindsay clinging to my arm for like four years, I think I can wait until I'm actually married to decide to do that stuff, Heather. Thanks in flower bunches for your total confidence. It rings bells in my ears. C'mon guy, think it over. I'm not even the brightest saw in the toolbox and even I figured this one out. Who's the one person Sierra would most like to have a child with?"
Heather's mouth dropped open. "What happened while I was in Spain?"
Beth said, "S-so… Wait, then how did you get involved with her?"
Tyler scratched his head. "Well, when I broke up with Linds, I lost a lot of support in the acting world from her dad. Don't worry about Leshawna- they kept helping her and she's I think still fine. But Cody heard about me and wanted to fill in. His parents are totally loaded, and they have some connections to sponsor-types that even my dad didn't. I moved into an apartment around his neighborhood area, and they looked out for me. So in return, I did Code some favors too. Whenever Sierra came around, I intercepted. I was able to talk her into going out with me a couple times here and there, especially the days she ran through his house checking every room to be absolutely sure he wasn't home. But I'm only human. I can't be everywhere, and sometimes I…" His cookie-crumb gaze flickered down to his palms. He linked his fingers, thumbs twiddling. "Sometimes I missed her. I don't want to talk so much about how I missed her."
"She… she…"
"Mmhm. You know our contracts. Paragraph 19, Section K, Subsection B says restraining orders against each other weren't legal yet, yeah? She doesn't always listen to people, but she usually listens to paper- anything she reads, in the news or online or what, as long as it's in words. He finally got one against her and she had to back off." Tyler shrugged. "Well, Cody had a real big melting about the whole thing. They were gonna make him pay child support for the rest of his life if someone didn't step in and like, adopt the kid, and I didn't think that was fair. It just seemed like the right thing to do, marriage. Married life is supposed to be nice. 'Least I've heard that. Sounds good enough for me. I'm not the picky Thompson in the family, y'know?"
Heather finally closed her mouth. "I guess I owe you an apology, Tyler. I'm impressed. You're a true… gentleman?"
"Aw, thanks, Heather." He leaned forward on his toes, wiggling his eyebrows in a way that said, I knew you weren't that stubborn of an ice queen.
"Don't push it," she warned, pushing him.
"But you don't love her," sputtered Beth once she'd recovered her voice.
"So?" Tyler shrugged a second time, still not meeting her gaze. "I'm sure I will someday if I stick around with her. Just give me time. We'll see what happens tonight. We're, um, heading to Australia for our honeymoon after all this wedding stuff gets set down and locked up. That's not bad for the baby, I hope?"
Beth said, "A-and what does Cody think about this? If he has a restraining order against your wife now, he can never come over to visit. Is that the kind of friendship you want to have?"
"Poor dweeb," murmured Heather, staring at her fingernails.
"Oh, I'm sorry. It's totally better than letting him commit suicide, Mom." Tyler jabbed a thumb over his shoulder, keeping his voice tight and low. "Sierra might see the world a li'l differently than the rest of us do, but even she understands that cheating after you've tied up knots is pretty wrong. She isn't a bad person. She just doesn't let other people stop her from getting what she wants. But we got a marriage certificate now, or we will get one, so-"
"Tyler, why?" Beth pushed her glasses up to her forehead with both palms. "Do your parents even know why you're getting married today? You're twenty-one. That's a long time to stay married to someone you don't like. Cody didn't mean for this. Cody didn't want this. He'd want you to be happy, and you're throwing that chance for happiness away."
Tyler bit his thumb, glowering hard. "I'm not throwing away anything! Beth, it's my life. You weren't there! You don't know how bad things were falling apart! Like, I watched Cody try to electrocute himself in the bathtub with his stereo system stuff. Static-shock secondary gift or no static-shock secondary gift, it doesn't give him like, immunity superpowers. I flipped the circuit breaker off just in time to save him. Do you know what that's like?"
Heather snapped up her head. "Cody what?"
Her vision went blurry and static. Beth tried to blink the tears away, but they wouldn't go anywhere else.
"He couldn't stay in that house anymore. And his stupid parents were in India without cell service, so they had no freaking helpfulness in their bones, of course. After he tried to hurl himself out a window, I had to take him to my apartment. I couldn't ever let him out of my sight just once, because I was terrified I was gonna lose him if I did. I pretty much didn't sleep or shower or go to the bathroom for two weeks. Do you know what that's like?"
"Tyler!" Heather grabbed him by the collar of his suit and yanked him forward so their noses smashed together. "Cody is my friend too! Why didn't you tell me? I could have done, I don't know- something!"
Beth shoved her away, trying to keep her face from flushing, trying to keep her voice under control so the paparazzi wouldn't get wind of what was going on over in the corner of the barn behind the wedding cake. "You were in Spain, Heather. The real question is, why didn't you tell me? I live six hours away from him, but I could've been there in an instant if I'd known! Or Courtney and Zeke! They're even closer."
"I don't know! I wasn't thinking super perfect. You know I only have one brain!" Tyler's hands flew to his head, and then he grabbed his right sleeve and yanked it up to his elbow, revealing two long pink scars down his forearm. "It was real nasty then, and I didn't wanna get any of you guys involved when you might get hurt. And…" His voice cracked. "And that's really why I had to stop trying to apologize to Linds for the way I hurt her, and told her 'No' when she suggested we might try looking into things again later. I-if you ever wondered. No one ever asked me why, but that's the reason. It's not because I was cheating. I've never cheated or lied on anything in my whole entire life. So, that wasn't why."
Heather slammed the heels of her hands into her eyes. "Is this the reason Cody wouldn't answer my calls? I leave you losers behind for a month, and this is what he does to you?"
Beth opened and closed her mouth several times, fumbling for any words at all. Tyler noticed this and shot her a ferocious scowl. His shoulders bristled.
"I got shuffled a real good lot for life, Tabitha. Don't you dare tell me I should have ingratitude. There are like- like a brazillion thousand people who've got things worse off than me. I know that, 'cuz I'm half-Brazilian! I have no reason not to be happy-lark. Isn't that enough for you already?"
"No! After hearing that story? Absolutely not! Tyler Horatio Thompson, you deserve better than this!"
"For once," Heather snapped, "I agree with her. First thing tomorrow, I'm taking you down to the courthouse so we can file you a divorce. And then we're hooking you back up with Lindsay. She'll actually take care of you."
He shoved her back by the shoulders. Her hips slammed against the buffet table, and when her right arm flew back to steady herself, it buried itself in the cake. "Oh yeah? Well, good luck with that, Heather, because…" And he laughed. A giddy laugh, with tears in the corners. "I'm not afraid of you anymore. I'm an adult. I can do whatever I want. I can stay up until four in the morning, I can eat a whole gallon of ice cream myself, and I can marry Sierra and give her the entire world on a river splatter so she's never tempted to lay a finger on my best buddy for the rest of her life. You can't sue off my pants for that."
"Tyler!"
Heather threw her hands in front of her, palms up and fingernails sharp. "I'm no Courtney, but I think marrying your traumatized best friend's rapist is pretty much exactly the worst way you possibly could have handled this situation, ever. Please tell me you at least tried to take her to court!"
He mimicked her movement. "I don't get you guys! The answer was obvious the whole time, but no one ever listens to the stupid jock, do they? Since he plays sports and has been a star on like seven reality shows, there's no way he could possibly have brains, huh? Somebody had to step up to the plate. Why shouldn't it be me? Why shouldn't I do the right thing? Why shouldn't I get a turn to be somebody's real-life hero for once? You think I'm still not good enough for doing anything right-bottom up? Apparently I was the only one who actually cared."
With the last word still ringing in the air, Tyler lurched around on his heels and charged off along the buffet table. Just before he reached the end, his foot caught on the tablecloth. He went flying into the punch bowl.
Beth let her hands slide along her face. She knew the snot was leaking in twin trails from her nostrils. It gathered in a thick mass along her upper lip and stuck to her tongue every time she tried to lick it away.
"This dress i-is old," she whispered.
"Hey. Hey, Beth." Soft arms closed around her, bringing her head near to Heather's neck. "Now isn't the time. Sierra's looking over. She's going to wonder what we're talking about. She might have even heard."
"Z-Zeke bought a new ring, you know?"
"Shh. Shh, Beth." Heather caressed her sharp nails through her hair as Beth tightened her hug. "Your real name is Tabitha?"
"Tyler's baby is borrowed." She lifted her face, blinking goops of mascara away. "And h-he's the something blue."