A/N: Just something that popped into my head…
Disclaimer: All characters, background story, etc. are property of whoever has copyright rights to the television show 'White Collar'.
"You do realize that this is a rather fatuous and easily exploited pet peeve of yours?" It wasn't hard for Neal to sound genuinely concerned; he had been a conman after all.
"Would you guys cut it out?" Despite his best efforts Peter could not keep the irritation from his voice.
"Maybe he fears we'll vitiate his authority with this polemic on his vocabulary." The amusement was evident in Diana's tone. If this were a cartoon Peter's ears would be steaming.
"I'm sorry; do you feel ostracized by our sophisticated and voluble causerie?" Neal appeared perfectly serious, but Peter knew when to look for that telltale twinkle. Sure enough, there it was. No actual malice, but definitely mocking him.
Peter couldn't help it, "I know what ostracized means!" he snapped.
"Actually, the vocab words in that sentence were 'voluble causerie'." Diana and Neal exchanged a smirk. At this point the score was five for the rebels and zero for 'the man'.
Fortunately for her, Diana had experienced Peter's displeasure before, and she knew someone was going to have to take the heat for this. Common sense told her to score the victories she could and then beat a hasty retreat; success could be savored later. Getting up, Diana deflected Neal's request for a ride with a claim that a hot date was waiting for her. Unfortunately for Neal, when it came to Agent Burke's fury it was every man or woman for his or her self.
Something was up. Neal kept his bright smile, but he knew something was off. With a subtle glance around he realized that the only other people on this floor were probably down in the cubicles. Diana's sudden departure leaving the two men alone did not bode well for Neal. It meant Diana was expecting something from Peter that Neal didn't. The date was definitely a bluff. Although, considering Diana's many positive attributes a hot date wasn't too out there, and she seemed like she had good taste in women. After all, a woman as fine as herself --
"You're trying to imagine her date. I assure you she has one and they're always hot." Peter sounded more exasperated than anything.
Self control never was Neal's strong suit, "Like how hot?"
"Don't even start. Unlike you I do not have ADD-Hot Babe variation." Nope, this was not exasperated; this was seriously pissed off.
'Stuck between a rock and a hard place' came to mind when Neal found himself backed against the wall with about two feet in between Agent Burke and himself. Intimidation. Classic trick straight out of the FBI handbook. Seriously, hadn't Peter learned anything while Neal was in prison? Well, since we're going with the classics. Neal took one step forward and lifted his head up towards Peter, classic counter. Of course, Neal being Neal, he couldn't leave something without adding his own little twist. Three inches wasn't much, but it was just enough that Neal had to lean up a bit to make contact. Continuing to take into account the fact that this was Neal Caffrey, it was no surprise that in the process of kissing the now stunned agent in charge of him Neal lost balance and fell forward. It was definitely only pure reflex that made him grab onto Peter.
Somehow--Neal's not quite sure how--Peter actually managed to push Neal back, although to Neal's credit Peter still looked a bit bewildered.
"Lets--ahem," the raspy voice was obviously due to the dry air, "Let's go. Elizabeth's going to kill me if I'm not home before nine."
Right, mention the wife and pretend nothing happened. At first it seemed that Neal was going to comply soundlessly, but after retrieving his hat he managed to 'accidentally' brush past Peter on the way out the door.
"I believe Agent Burke has just been galvanized."
Peter really hoped that galvanized didn't mean what he thought it meant.