I duck my head and flinch when the locker door slams next to me, and my face reddens in shame. I always thought that next time the bullying happen that I'll stand up for myself and not act like such a coward, but I was wrong. The first few times I did I called them out for the homophobes they are bt they just beat me harder, my chest and legs were so sore the next day I couldn't dance for glee everyone wanted to know if I was ok but I just told them I was sick, I am just to ashamed and still can't believe I told Kurt to have courage and to stand up to them but I hide like the weakling I am.
I miss Kurt so much I hurts more than the bruises on my chest and legs(the bullies became more crafty hitting only were my close hid) of course we talk everyday and text and have video chats but here lately he has been to busy-having an small part on Broadway and finals coming up he hasn't had the time for me to come up there, he knows something is wrong but I wont tell him I cant I never will I have to remained his 'Knight in shining blazer' for him even though he did most of the saving.
I hate myself now and sometimes I think about ending it all my father is disowning me my mother is letting it happen Cooper is in trouble again and the bullies wont let up. But I can't- I have to stay alive for Kurt- the love of my life he is my rock and for some reason he took pity on a pathetic dog like me and I cant let all his love be wasted, he went though this and so can I because all the hits slams and kicks from the jocks and the drunken slurs fists and disapproving glares from father and mother are nothing. They don't mean anything all I need is Kurt all I need is the warmth of his touch and the light of his smile to get me though the day, and soon I'll be in his arms smiling and laughing and nothing will ever hurt me again.
Tears prick my eyes as the bodies of jocks press closer in the now empty halls; they must have came while I was thinking.
The first punch gets me in the gut and I bend in haft.
For Kurt, for Kurt, for-
Blood rushes past my lips as two more quick fist hit my gut, I fall to the ground on to my knees.
"Get use to being on your knees that's all your beg well for" Jock one sneers.
"Ha I'm not to sure if he is even good at that-his butt-buddy Hummel left him" Jock two laughs as does the squad
After a few more kicks they leave and I finally let lose a cry and curl up to myself.
Kurt I need you…
A/N i hope this was to your likeing, i know its sad but i cant help it today i begain to cut againfirst time in over two years- since i last tried to kill myself my legs are so cut up it looks like a dog got to them and i hate it i hate myself for being so godamn weak and messed up my mom didnt want me my cousin didn't my sister hates me and my brother is turning in to my dead father who hung himself to top it all off the family who i am liveing with doesn't want me-mostly because she found out three things 1 im Bisexual 2 i dont belive in god 3 i have depression. the only thing thats keeping me from repeating what i did is some persons that ill never meet Darren Criss and Chris Colfer...god im an retard...sorry for my rant.