Tag to End Game(4.15)
Disclaimers:
1. I did not mean to disrespect anyone who has served their country.
2. I wrote this having no combat experience.
3. I don't own any of the characters.
4. Spoilers to End Game and Rampage.
"You fought the bad war when it was good." Porter looked at Colby like someone would look at a child who asked an innocent question, like he knew nothing of the problems in the world. Without another word, Porter walked off.
Colby picked up the trash Porter had left on the hood of his car. You fought the bad war when it was good. You fought the bad war when it was good. The phrase continued to echo in his head and had started to give him a headache when David interrupted his thoughts.
"So is there truth to that?" he asked quietly. Colby rarely talked about his time in the Army, but David knew after the shooting at the FBI office, he still thought about it and this case was bound to dredge up old memories.
"I fought the bad war when it was good" Colby repeated, but his voice lacked its usual conviction. He seemed lost in thought, but not willingly. If David knew anything from hanging around veterans, he knew that the memories usually trapped the people, not the people trapping the memories.
"You fought the bad war when it was good" David repeated.
"No, I fought the war when it was a war; there is no good war. There is no good in people killing each other and never reaching a resolution. There is no good in anything Porter or I saw. The war I fought was not good, it just got worse after I left".
He banged his head against the headrest. "There is no good war."
Images flashed through his head, memories that on normal days, he barely noticed. Today, they won the fight and invaded his thoughts. He saw his friends, his enemies, his commanders, their commanders. He watched people fight and kill each other, without knowing their crime or even if they had one. He remembered killing people himself without knowing their crime, only the orders of his commanders. He did not dispute his orders and that, combined with his loyalty to his country, kept him going back and fighting. Finally after his third tour, the part of him craving peace took over and he stayed home. He let his friends go back without him and while they did not blame him, it was still hard to watch them leave and even harder to watch them come back more tortured. War took some of the best things and twisted them. Loyalty become a person's promise to kill for their family. Friendship become an unwritten vow to throw yourself in front of bullets for people. Respect was based on how proficient one become at taking life. Strength was based on how many years in combat one person could take before they did not want to fight anymore.
"What are you thinking?" David asked carefully, watching the emotions swirl in his partner's hazel eyes. He saw guilt, relief, loyalty, grief, disgust, respect. David did not know that these emotions had tangible appearances, but in that moment, he could see each and every one of them.
"There is no good war; it just got worse after I came home."