This was posted on the fill day os Seven Hells (a gameofshipschallenges' challenge on tumblr). This little fic fills the prompt "Sloth" (Day Seven), but also "Gluttony" (Day Six) and a bit of "Lust" (Day Three), "Envy" (Day Four) and maybe "Wrath"(Day Five)

Also this can be read as a follow up/in the same universe as "Where I Wanna Be" (you can find it on my profile, but this fic can be read without having read the other one)

Robert was full. Coming to the Stark house to eat one of Catelyn's meals was probably one of his favorite things. A perfect cooked lamb, with small potatoes and spinach; and two perfect slices of strawberry pie with three scoops of chocolate ice cream. There was no better meal than Catelyn's cooking, and nothing left Robert as full and happy.

But there was always space for another beer, so Robert got another from the fridge, and went to lie down on the reclining chair out in the porch. Finally there was sun in Winterfell, and it was actually hot. There wasn't even wind like he normally felt when he was in Storm's End. Robert pulled his shirt up, so (his pregnancy sympathy) belly could catch some sun, and rested his hand on top of it; he was ready to take a well deserved nap.

"Dad! Dad! Tell us a story!" Mya said, coming outside, with Jon and Robb running in front of her, while his young daughter walked very carefully pushing Sansa around on a play cart well patted with pillows.

"Can't you let your father nap for a bit?"

"Daddy, please… Just one story. Robb wants to hear one. He doesn't believe when Jon says you tell the best stories."

"My dad has the best stories," young Robb said. "But I still want to hear a story, Uncle Robert."

"Good Old Ned's stories better than mine?!" Robert laughed, before adding, "That's a lie!" He would nap a bit latter; he would prove to these rascals that Ned's stories had nothing on his. He took a swig of his beer, before asking Mya to give him Sansa.

"Robert, please be careful," he heard Catelyn from the house, as he picked up Sansa and settled her on his belly, she happily bounced on it and pulled on his hairs.

"Come on, Cat. Do you really trust me that little? Do you trust a child more than me?"

"Yes, when your daughter has a better head on her shoulders than you." Mya was too smart for her own good, and smirked at her father.

"I have my two hands on her," he promised, by taking his both hands of the baby.

"Robert!" Catelyn warned him again.

"Go inside, Cat. I have this under control," he yelled back. "Now, before your mother comes nagging again. Settle in, boys, you to, Mya." The boys being small could climb up to his chair and still fit, while Mya took a place at the foot of the chair, on top of his feet and legs. "Everyone ready?" he asked looking around, and securing little Sansa on his chest and belly.

"Yes," they all said, nodding their heads. "Start!"

"Okay, so there was a princess with beautiful red hair," he started, squeezing Sansa, who kept beating on his belly. "And she had two very handsome and funny knights protecting her," he said looking at the boys. "And they needed to protect her from an evil witch, called Mya."

"Dad!"

"Don't smirk at me next time," he told her, smirking at her this time. "And you said you liked witches the other day."

"Am I ugly?"

"Nah… most beautiful witch in the world, but still green," he told her with a laugh.

"Dad…"

"Can I continue the story or not?" he asked, and they all nodded.

"This beautiful but evil witch wanted to steal the princess-"

"Why would I steal Sansa, Dad?"

"Because Sansa is adorable," he said, tickling his niece. "You've proposed enough times for us to take Sansa home."

"You can have her," Robb offered. "She cries a lot. But I get to keep Jon."

"No, you can't have Jon. But you can come with us," Mya offered.

"I can't leave my parents alone…" Robb said disappointed.

"Knowing your parents, they wouldn't be alone for very long. And you would have another sibling when you came back," Robert told them with a laugh, leaving the boys confused. "So getting back to the story, this witch wanted the princess because she wanted a baby sister to play with. So she flew up to the princess' kingdom-"

"I can fly!"

"Where the two knights lived to protect the princess – they were super strong, and kicked ass…"

"Can I have a sword?" Robb asked.

"Yes. You, Jon?"

"Ninja stars," he said. Jon was getting a lot into ninja shows lately, which was good since Mya liked them as well.

"So as I was saying, our witch came in flying-"

"… on her broom…" Mya added.

"Yes, she came in flying on her broom, and out of nowhere a ninja star flew right next to her ear, but it missed her, and a few seconds after, another flew by. The other warrior prepared his sword, he twisted it in his hands, ready to strike the second the witch landed…"

"You're not gonna kill me, Dad, are you?" his daughter asked scared.

"Of course not, I wouldn't kill my little witch," he said, nudging her with his foot.

"But she's a witch, she can't win," Robb argued.

"You are complicated, kids." Robert wasn't sure how to actually finish the story, so he just decided one of his best techniques. "So the witch landed, and the redhead warrior ran in her direction, carrying the sword high and ready to strike, and out witch prepared to fight back-" and with that sentence, Robert closed his eyes, and dropped his head down, with his perfect snoring sound. If this would work with Ned when he started his boring talk or with Lyanna when she yelled at him, it surely would work with the kids.

"Dad," Mya yelled, and started pulling on him, as her brother and cousin did the same.

"Papa," Jon whispered in his ear, as his cousin yelled in Robert's ear for 'uncle Robert'.

"Dad, wake up," Mya said, while nudging him again. "Be careful with Sansa," she said, holding her little cousin. "Dad!"

Robert let out a loud snore, which made the kids think that he was actually asleep, and started complaining that he had fallen asleep.

"Come on, let's play," Mya said jumping from his legs, and getting little Sansa from Robert's belly, and putting her safely on the cart.

The kids left him alone, leaving him able to take a very long and comfortable nap. The sun felt good on his skin, and the air felt marvellous. But the voices distracted him, leaving him just a bit too curious, and since he knew the kids were too far, he took the beer to finish it in one gulp, and opened his eyes just enough to see that they were making up the rest of the story – with Mya fighting Jon and Robb, while Sansa sat under the shadow of one of the trees. Robert closed his eyes again, happy that they had found their ending, and he got back to trying to fall asleep.

Robert enjoyed his right to do nothing in the backyard during a sunny day – there was nothing better than that. He was sure he wanted a house with a backyard like this. He and Lyanna had been looking for a bigger house since the winter, but still nothing seemed good enough for them; and with Lyanna getting bigger by the day, they should really make a decision on a house.

But Robert cleared his mind, so he could sleep… his body was relaxed, his mind empty, and he was starting his travel to the dream world where Lyanna was the main start, but that was when the main culprit appeared, and sat on his chair.

"I know you're awake," she told him. "Come on. You stopped the story in the middle of it. Sure, they are having fun building it, but that's an asshole move," she told him, slapping him on the arm. "Move up. Give some space to the girl you knocked up." Robert moved carefully but still didn't open his eyes. "Come on, you just moved. Just open your eyes, Dear."

Robert kept in silence even if he wanted to laugh, but she may have felt his chest heaving, since she was resting his head in it – her growing belly pressed against him. Robert could feel the kicks – that child was definitely his – and he really wanted to open his eyes and feel the kicks closer.

"I know you're feeling the kicks. The baby doesn't stop. Jon never kicked this much."

Of course, it's mine, and I'm stronger than that Targaryen monster, this was what Robert always answered. No matter how much he loved little Jon, he had never grown to like his father – thankfully Jon was more like his mother and Uncle Ned.

"The baby will be trouble when he's born for sure. He sure will," she told him, before patting his chest. "Are you not even going to argue that it's a girl?!" she asked. "You're an ass," Lyanna said, knocking him on the head. "Okay, I'm gonna nap too – so keep quiet."

Lyanna rested her body on top of him, and started her loud and fake snoring – it seemed they were really good at fake sleeping. But she quitted after awhile and started bothering him again, not with as much speaking, but with pushing him around and punching him.

"Come on, move. You even had alcohol today, you should be repaying me for that right now." Robert didn't just get a sympathy belly, but he also had quit drinking at home, because she said it wasn't fair that he got to drink and she didn't; at least he still got to drink in lunch during the working week. "You're not even complaining about our agreement. Come on, Robert…" she said, shaking his body again.

Robert really wanted to both sleep and open his eyes and kiss her – Gods, her voice sounded hot… her body felt hot against him… he was moving his hand on her back, as he kept his eyes closed.

"Robert, Catelyn is taking her top off – she's going to sunbathe," Lyanna spoke again.

"Really?!" he asked, raising his body, standing on his elbows, and opening his eyes and looking around. Catelyn was still dressed, sitting with Ned nearby, talking about something.

"Really, the idea of your sister-in-law naked gets you up?!" she asked looking mad.

"Not like fully naked. Just in a bikini or something."

"You're such an asshole. Really no sex for you for the rest of the month."

"To keep me from seeing other women naked, you're gonna take away sex."

"And your vaseline, and your porn. And I'm gonna count your shower time. You'll get no time. Really I'll only give it back, when you explode."

"Lya… Come on," he argued. "You're also not gonna survive."

"I have a fully working vibrator, dear," she said with a smile and wink. "Do you wanna bet who's going to quit first?" she asked, getting up, pressing her hand on his upper leg – too close to home – on purpose.

Lyanna left him alone again, but this time, she moved to where the children were, and told them that he was awake, which was followed by three young children running in his direction – yeah, his nap was definitely over.