**WARNING: THIS FIC CONTAINS G!P SANTANA AND MENTIONS OF USING DRUGS.**
A/N 1: Holy shit you guys, I've had this in a file folder since season 3 and I never posted it. My bad.
A/N 2: This story is un-betaed, so there are bound to be mistakes, which I'm sorry for, I can't catch everything.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee.
Six Years Old
Rachel was currently playing in the small sandbox on the playground at the back of her school. She wasn't building a sand castle, but a theater, with seats, a stage, and a large microphone...the best she could do with sand, and it didn't bother her much that it wasn't proportionate. She was just about to attempt to make some people, when all of a sudden a large boy ran through the sandbox chasing after his soccer ball, and in the process, trampling her hard work back into a pile of sand that looked like nothing.
"Whoops." The boy said exaggerated, not really feeling sorry for what he destroyed. "Did I do that?"
Rachel stood up and brushed the sand off of her plaid skirt angrily. "I worked hard on that!"
"Yeah? Well why don't you go cry to your fag Dads about it." He said smirking.
"Don't call them that foul word, you Neanderthal!"
"I'll call 'em whatever I want!"
"You should walk away now." A voice said from the side of them.
There stood a Hispanic girl, dressed in torn jeans and a Power Rangers t-shirt, with her arms crossed as she glared at the boy.
"Oh, yeah, who's gonna make me? You?" He laughed.
"One last chance. Walk. Away." The girl stood in front of Rachel now, face to face with her tormentor.
"Like I'm afraid of a Fence Hopper."
"First, I was born in Ohio, you dummy. Second..." The Latina wound her fist back, and before the boy knew it, she had punched him square in the nose, knocking him to the ground. "Don't mess with her again. Now get!"
Holding his hand to his nose, she scrambled off the ground and ran back to where he was playing before, acting like nothing happened, grateful no one saw him get decked by a girl. Wiggling her fingers at the pain in her hand, the girl turned around to face Rachel.
"Thanks..." She said, blushing.
"No problem. I've been wanting to punch him for a while." She said with a smirk. "I'm Santana."
"Rachel Berry. Please to meet your acquaintance."
They stood there for an awkward minute, Rachel's head down, avoiding eye contact, and Santana observing the girl in front of her.
"I can help you rebuild what you had...if you want." Santana suggested.
Rachel's eyes looked up to find the Latina's genuine ones and nodded.
And with that, they built a bigger and better sand theater, and no one dared mess with Rachel while Santana was around to look out for her and have her back.
Seven Years Old
Maria Lopez gathered her things to take over to the Berry's picnic as her daughter sat at the table, hunched over her project that she had been working on all morning. Santana had recently gotten a beading kit of sorts, and had been making all different kinds of things constantly. Today, she was threading together something special for Rachel, which she had to look up online on how to even make it, but pleasing the girl was worth the little bit of trouble it took her to learn something new.
"Are you ready, Tana?" Maria asked from the kitchen.
"Almost done." She muttered, concentrating on her work, her little hands could only work so fast.
She smiled to herself as she tried to tie the thread to the key chain hoop, biting her lips as she got more and more frustrated.
"Mami?"
"Yes?"
"Help me with this, will ya?"
"Help me with this, please." Maria smiled as she came up behind Santana.
"Please." The girl replied, rolling her eyes.
Maria tied a tight knot, securing it to the key chain, then fingered her daughter's creation.
"This is very good, Tana."
She smiled up at her Mother. "I made it for Rachel."
"I'm sure she'll love it, Mija. Now we're going to be late, let's go. Your Father is waiting in the car."
Santana jumped off her chair and followed her Mother outside, hopping in the car and buckling herself up in the back. The drive to the Berry's took about ten minutes, and they barely came to a stop before Santana unbuckled and launched herself out of the car, excited to see Rachel. She rang the doorbell three times in a row, like she always did, and Hiram answered the door with a bright smile. He stepped aside and told her that Rachel was out back with Leroy, so she wasted no time.
When she came out through the kitchen door, she saw Rachel and Leroy setting up a picnic table in the middle of the backyard. She watched the girl meticulously set the plastic silverware in their rightful places on each napkin, shaking her head at Rachel, who was always the perfectionist. It wasn't until Leroy nudged her arm, that Rachel looked up from what she was doing and saw Santana on the deck watching them. She immediately abandoned what she was doing and ran over to her best friend.
No matter how much they saw each other, it was never enough, and they always hugged liked they hadn't seen each other in years. Rachel's arms secured tightly around Santana's neck, her face pressed against her warm skin. Santana hugged Rachel back just as much, it not harder, her hands gripping the girl's shirt. When they finally pulled apart, their eyes met and they sported matching smiles. It took a moment to remember that Santana had something in her hand, so she palmed it and held it out.
"I made this for you...or whatever."
It was a sea turtle, Rachel's favorite animal.
"I love it! Thank you."
Rachel stood up on her tippy-toes allowing her to plant a kiss on Santana's cheek. It was unexpected for both girls, and neither knew what to saw to the other. Thankfully after a few moments, Hiram, Maria, and Roberto came out onto the deck, arms filled with food. Rachel grabbed Santana's hand and pulled them to a blanket near the picnic table and unfolded it, sitting down next to each other as their parents handed them food-filled plates and plastic silverware. They didn't hesitate to dig in, still smiling.
Eight Years Old
"Got everything girls?" Hiram asked as he pulled the large umbrella out of the SUV.
"Yes, Dad." Rachel replied, slinging her beach towel over her shoulder and taking Santana's hand in hers as they crossed the street.
"Alright, to the beach!" Leroy instructed before marching ahead, leading everyone to what he deemed a perfect spot.
It was summer, and the Berry's, plus Santana, had gone on vacation to Florida, and after five days of going to the Disney parks, they wanted a nice relaxing day at the beach before they headed back home. About an hour after playing in the cool ocean water, Santana started building a sand castle under the shade of the umbrella, while Rachel hummed to herself as she read a book on her idol, Barbara Streisand.
"Rach, want to come with me to get some ice-cream?" Hiram asked, standing up and dusting the sand off of his swim trunks.
"Yes!" She bookmarked her spot and hopped up.
"Santana, Leroy, do you want us to get you something?"
"Naw, I'm good." Santana replied without looking up from her sand castle.
"No thanks, hon." Leroy waved off.
"We'll be back soon!"
It wasn't thirty seconds later that Leroy leaned over and tapped Santana on the shoulder.
"Want to pull a joke on Rachel?" He asked with his signature smirk.
She forgot about her sand castle for the moment and nodded excited. Her and Leroy were the pranksters of the four. Hiram and Rachel just tolerated them and their antics. Working fast, he had Santana help him dig a hole in the sand, then spread the pile they had accumulated around, so Rachel wouldn't be suspicious. When the hole was done and the sand spread, Leroy took Rachel's pink beach blanket and laid it over the hole. Santana now got what he had in mind and giggled to herself.
Rachel and Hiram came back a few minutes later, both with a cup of ice cream in their hands. Santana was trying to act nonchalant, pretending to be working on her sand castle, when really she was constantly looking out of the corner of her eye at Rachel, waiting for her to come sit down. After a minute of not-so-patiently waiting, Rachel sat down her ice cream cup and plopped down next to Santana, unexpectedly falling into the hole.
Santana busted out laughing at Rachel, whose face was filled with shock, not quite processed what had happened, and high-fived Leroy. Hiram sighed and shook his head at the two and tried not to look at Rachel, in fear that he might start laughing along with them. When Santana looked back over to Rachel, her eyes were narrowed at her and her lips were pressed together in a fine line. So she waiting until the girl found her words, knowing a scolding was coming. But it was worth it.
"How rude!" The diva started, trying to get out of the hole, but to no avail. "I can't leave you to alone for more than a minute without you concocting something to embarrass me! What if I hadn't of put my ice cream down? It could have gotten all over me!"
"In my defense, Rach, it was not my idea." Santana replied, looking down at the girl who had, momentarily stopped struggling to get out of the hole.
"So you always say. And Daddy, you are just as bad as a child! What kind of example is that?!"
"A good one. You should lighten up and have more fun, baby girl."
"He has a point." Hiram dared to comment.
Rachel was left shifting her gaze from Santana, to Leroy, then to Hiram. Her mouth hanging open in shock the whole time. "You all are mean!" She pouted, crossing her arms.
"I'm sorry, Rach." Santana said as she rolled her eyes. "I'll make it up to you."
Rachel raised her eyes to the Latina's.
"Here." Santana stood and put both of her arms under Rachel's armpits and lifted her up out of the hole.
Without thinking about it, Santana leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to Rachel's still pouting lips. It instantly faded, replaced by a blush that turned her whole face red. They had kissed each other on the cheeks before, but never on the lips. Santana had to admit, she liked it, and she liked the fact that she had made Rachel blush so profusely. It was quite adorable, especially when their eyes met, Rachel's still wide, and Santana's crinkled because of the big smile that was on her face.
It was both of their first kisses, and there was nothing better than sharing it with each other. Hiram and Leroy pretended to read their magazines as they peeked over them, watching the two girls. They always joked behind the girls' backs that they would end up marrying each other one day, but it was always just that, a joke. But now, with both girl staring at one another, looking like they wanted nothing more than to grab one another and kiss again, it might actually be a possibility.
Nine Years Old
When the teacher had announced to the class that they would be reading Old Yeller, Rachel was excited. She'd never heard of it before, but on the cover of the book there was a smiling teenage boy and a beautiful Golden Retriever next to him. They both looked so happy that Rachel was convinced that she would love the book. She was horribly mistaken, and thoroughly horrified when they got to the part where Travis had to shoot Old Yeller because he had rabies and wasn't himself anymore.
She'd abruptly stopped the teacher from reading any further, arguing in tears. She didn't understand why the teacher would make them read such a sad story. She wanted to read about a boy and his dog, and the adventures that they had together, not one about having to kill your best friend and family pet. They were only in fourth grade, for heaven's sake. They shouldn't be exposed to this kind of thing yet. It's like taking their innocence away in a really mean way.
"This book teaches some good life lessons, Rachel." The teacher calmly replied. "It's about a boy's transition into manhood, and that sometimes life isn't fair, and you're going to have to make some hard choices."
"We're only ten years old!" Rachel whined. "We won't have to be making those kind of hard decisions for years!"
Santana hated seeing Rachel upset. She was passionate about everything in her life, and animals were a big part of it. Rachel and her Dads volunteered regularly at the Lima Animal Shelter, helping the cute animals that ended up there find a good home. She had even bribed Santana to come help them on more than one occasion. She pretended to not like it, but really, she did love being with the animals. It just sucked because her own parents wouldn't allow her to get one of her own yet.
"I'm sorry, Rachel, I know this is upsetting for you, but-"
"Yes, it is upsetting! You should have told us before we started reading, instead of letting it take us by surprise!"
"Rachel, just suck it up!" A shaggy redheaded kid in the back shouted. "Quit being such a baby!"
"Shut up, Rick!" Santana joined in, defending her best friend.
"Alright, everyone, that's enough." The teacher interrupted, raising her voice slightly. "This subject matter bothers Rachel, and that's perfectly fine. What's the point in reading a book if it doesn't make you feel something, right?"
Looking at the clock, the teacher dismissed them to go to lunch, saying that they would continue reading when they got back. Rachel wiped away a tear as she stood up and strutted out of the room and down the hall, directly into the girls bathroom. Santana went after her, jogging down the hall and finding Rachel in the last bathroom stall crying. Knocking on the door lightly, she tried to coax her friend out so she could comfort her.
"How does she think we could eat normally after what we just read. Travis had to shoot Old Yeller! Doesn't that mean anything to anyone besides me?!" Rachel sobbed.
"It means something to me." Santana replied quietly before stepping forward and wrapping her arms around Rachel.
The shorter girl squeezed Santana's midsection as she laid her head on her shoulder. Tears rolled off of her cheeks and down onto her shirt, but Santana didn't care, she just rocked them back and forth as they held onto each other tightly. She agreed with Rachel on the subject, the book was too mature of ten year olds. Of all people, a teacher should know that. But sadly, there really wasn't anything they could do about it.
"How about I come over to your house tonight and we can watch Air Bud?" Santana suggested.
Rachel smiled up at her and sniffed. "I would like that very much."
Ten Years Old
It was a hot July 4th, and the Berry's were at the Lopez household since they had an amazing outdoor pool and a better view of the fireworks later. Roberto and Hiram were talking all things sports as they were starting to BBQ dinner. Maria and Leroy were sitting pool-side in lounging chairs, gossiping about the annoying things their neighbors do. Santana and Rachel had just come out of the house from changing into their swimsuits. Rachel donned a Hello Kitty, pink one-piece, where as Santana had a black bikini top and multicolored neon trunks.
Santana immediately jumped into the pool with no reservations, making the water nearly spray Maria and Leroy. Rachel on the other hand wasn't as good as a swimmer, so she stuck to getting in the water the normal person way: the stairs. She took a seat on the first step that was submerged in the crisp water, which Roberto had made sure it would be cool for them. When Santana emerged on the surface, she spit a mouthful of water at Rachel, making her shriek and splash a wave of water at her friend. The adults just laughed along at their children's antics.
As the sun sank deeper in the sky, the girls pulled themselves out of the pool to eat. As soon as Santana was done though, she hopped right back in, ignoring Rachel's warning about waiting at least thirty minutes after eating before swimming. Following her own advice, Rachel sat on the edge of the pool and watch as her friend did multiple jumps off the diving board, spinning and flipping herself in every direction, at the deep end of the pool. It wasn't long before she stopped what she was doing and held her stomach, not feeling good all of a sudden.
"What did I tell you?" Rachel said, helping her out of the water and drying the sick-looking girl off.
Santana groaned and scrunched her face.
"You should really listen to what I have to say before you act on impulse." Rachel continued. "Now I suggest you lie down for a bit and let your nausea subside."
Rachel laid their towels on the grass and guided Santana to the ground, then joined her, both girls laying on their backs, staring up at the sky. Santana hated it when Rachel was right, which was most of the time. Without even realizing she was doing it, Rachel took a hold of Santana's hand and rubbed the soft, wet skin. She wished that days like this would last forever. She liked school, but it was days like this that she spent with Santana, playing at the park, having family barbecues and swimming in the pool, or cuddling in bed together that nothing else could top.
Eleven Years Old
Rachel was bored out of her mind when Santana wasn't there with her. She was really her only friend, not that that was a bad thing, but she'd been gone quite a bit lately because she had to travel to see her doctor in Cleveland, and it took almost three hours to get there and three hours to get back. She knew why her friend had to go, it had been explained that Santana had a rather rare condition, is she remembered correctly, she thinks they called it 'intersex'. She didn't know the details, just that Santana had what was normally considered a 'boy part' down there.
She didn't consider it abnormal though. She'd been raised by two Fathers that celebrated people's differences, so Santana's condition was talked about every so often like you'd talk about anything else. It was normal, though the young Latina never liked to talk about it. She didn't like being different, no matter how much Rachel told her that it was okay. The short girl hoped that one day Santana would feel different about her body. Proud that she was unique. But she definitely didn't see that happening anytime soon. Especially now with more talk about it than ever.
The only reason was, puberty was coming, for both of them within the next few years, and they needed to be prepared. Rachel thought she was, more than most other girls her age. Her Fathers had done their best to try and explain everything to her, but she ended up requesting a book about it, which they more than happily got her, and everything made sense. Not that she was looking forward to bleeding out her vagina every month, but she was looking forward to becoming a woman. She'd always felt older than she actually was, so it seemed about time.
Santana on the other hand, dreaded puberty, which was why she was visiting her doctor. Since she was different, they had no idea what it would do to her chemical balance in her body, whether she'd need to be put on medication, whether or not she could get someone pregnant in the future. They poked and prodded and examined her over the course of a few weeks. Finally they determined, which was really just their best guess, was that she would most likely be fine, but would be having a bit more testosterone coursing through her than usual.
The doctor had given her a binder of information that he'd collected himself on other girls like her. It made her feel not so alone, but at the same time, it was still embarrassing. She didn't look through it until she got home, but it had general information about her anatomy, a few pages on puberty and what to expect, even a section on masturbation, which made Santana's cheeks go red and shut the binder. She wasn't ready to think about that kind of thing yet. These were the days that she hated. When she just wished that she was like everyone else. Normal.
Twelve Years Old
Spring was upon them, and one April afternoon, Maria dropped Rachel and Santana off at the park to take advantage of the weather. The girls did their own thing with each other, as usual. The boys from their school had a game of football going, trying to impress some of the popular girls who were sitting on blanket nearby half paying attention. They were no doubt gossiping about how hot certain boys were, girls like that were easy to predict. And they were boring. Santana liked that Rachel wasn't like that. Not that she would even stand for any mushy boy talk.
"Lets go over there, it looks quieter." Rachel said, pointing to a large tree closer to the pond that was in the middle of the park.
"Do you ever think about how different we are from the other girls?" Santana asked as they settled into the spot at the base of the tree.
"I used to." Rachel replied, picking up a tiny clump of dirt and throwing it into the pond, making a tiny ripple.
"What happened?"
The smaller girl grinned and bumped shoulders with her. "You came along."
Santana blushed furiously before trying to recover. "Yeah, well, I am pretty awesome."
They sat there for the next few hours, sometimes talking about school or music. Sometimes they just enjoyed sitting in each others company in complete silence as they listened to the rustle of leaves in the trees as the wind blew, or the faint sounds of the boys playing their games. Both girls wished that they could stay there forever. But all good things must come to and end. At least for the moment. However, from that moment on, that tree at the local park became their spot. Their haven. When things were rough and they needed some time, that's where they'd go.
Santana went there after her Abuelo died. Rachel found her not that much later, and held her until the sun went down and they had to go back home. Rachel went there when the kids in her dance class had made fun of her. Santana went and found her there, retraining herself because all she wanted to do was go to that dance class and beat the shit out of all the girls that had hurt her friend. And the cycle kept going. They always knew that they could find each other there. It was comforting. And one hot Summer day, they christened the tree by engraving their initials into it.
RB + SL FOREVER
Thirteen Years Old
Santana had been avoiding sleepovers with Rachel for a few months now. Not because she didn't want to anymore, but the time had come. Puberty struck, and it had become a daily thing that she either woke up with a boner, or already stained underwear. Wet dreams sucked. But at least she was typically soft by the time she woke up. On the mornings when she was still hard, she just had to wait for it to go down, not wanting to touch it for her own pleasure. It was just a reminder that it wasn't supposed to be there.
But this morning, she woke up in Rachel's bed, and like usual, they were pressed tight up against each other, cuddling. That wasn't anything knew, they've cuddled in their sleep since the very first time they had a sleepover. But this time was different. As soon as Santana came into consciousness, she felt her face get hot. Her hard-on was pressed directly against Rachel's leg. A sudden urge to grind up against her took over, but before she could think about how wrong that would be, Rachel, who was already awake, glanced over to Santana.
"Morning." She said cheerily, like something wasn't poking her in the thigh.
"I...uh. Sorry." She managed to get out before scooting away as much as she could on the small bed.
"You don't have to be embarrassed, San." Rachel replied, reaching out for her friend.
"Easy for you to say." She muttered, now sitting up, gripping the covers to hide her crotch.
"If it makes you feel any better, I wake up...wet sometimes. It's a normal part of being a teenager."
Santana gulped at that new information. For the first time, she really felt the need to touch herself.
"So...are you just going to lie there or are you going to go take care of it?" Rachel asked like she was asking about the weather.
"I'm not gonna go take care of it!" Santana whined, her face getting redder, then closed her eyes. "I'm just gonna lay here and think about our gym teacher making out with the lunch lady, and it will be gone fast."
"Or...you know. I could help."
The darker girl's eyes shot open. "What?"
"We could, I don't know, help each other out." Rachel said with a small voice.
"I-uh-how?"
"Well, I'm not ready for sex yet or anything, but...we could always, I don't know, rub up on each other?"
Just the thought of that made little Santana twitch in her underwear. "I..."
Santana didn't know how to respond. She knew what her body wanted, but in her mind, she was still scared. But if she could trust anyone...it would be Rachel.
A-are you sure?" She asked.
Rachel nodded. "I've actually have had those kinds of urges before, but I've never done anything." She fiddled with her fingers. "I really want to with you, though."
All Santana could do was nod, and not immediately jump on her friend. She only moved when Rachel laid back down on her back and slowly pulled her to settle in between her legs. She gulped as she slid into place, pressing her length into the heated core below her, rubbing up against it. It felt better than she could have ever imagined, even through layers of pajamas. Making the first move, Rachel put her hands on Santana's hips and guided them up, feeling the hard member create friction against her clit. Both moaned at the new and wonderful sensation.
"Y-you can kiss me...if you want." Rachel said as they found a slow but steady rhythm.
Santana wasted no time in leaning down and trapping Rachel's bottom lip between hers, because hey, they were already rubbing their private parts together, why not go all out? And fuck, why hadn't they done this sooner? It was sensory overload, and Santana did her best to last as long as she could, thought it was difficult. Neither girl was used to pleasuring themselves, so these were all new feelings. They had no sense of self-control and worked together to get to their own climaxes. It didn't take long to feel that certain pull in each other their stomachs, knowing what was coming.
"Oh, San." Rachel moaned, digging her fingernails into Santana's hips. "I think...I'm gonna..."
The smaller girl didn't even get her sentence out before she gasped, clenching her limbs around Santana, bringing their bodies impossibly close together as her body tensed and shook. It was all just too much for, and with two more pumps of her hips, Santana felt herself violently jerk in her pants before feeling her thick cum shoot out and collect against her underwear.
"Fuck!" She whispered, burying her face in the neck below her as her hips continued to gently grind down, wanting it to last as long as possible.
She had never felt so satisfied before, feeling the highest of highs. No wonder adults were so obsessed with sex, if it was anything like that, it had to be the best thing in the world. And she wanted to do it again...and again. Rachel chuckled and rubbed her friends back as the rest of her body went limp.
"We definitely have to do that again." Rachel said, as Santana caught her breath.
"Mmhm."
Fourteen Years Old
The first week of high school wasn't exactly how Santana had pictured it. Within the first twenty minutes of arriving, her and Rachel were slushied. Rachel had to hold Santana back from fighting back and making things worse. She would have beaten their asses into the ground, which would have gotten her suspended, if she was lucky, not expelled. No, she took her rage out on the punching bag in the weights room after school, vowing to herself that she would figure something out to where that wouldn't happen to her or Rachel again.
The next day, she met Brittany S. Pierce. She found the girl in an empty classroom while she headed to the auditorium to meet Rachel for lunch. Right off the bat, she could tell that the blonde wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but she was nice, and really sweet in a child-like way. She brought her to eat with her and Rachel, and they both instantly liked her, and were surprised to find out that she was a Cheerio. Most, if not all, of those girls that they had encountered were very mean, but Brittany was different.
Somehow, she had talked Santana into trying out for the squad. Rachel said it would be something that looked good on her college applications, especially since they were known as a winning team. And Brittany said it would raise her status in the school, that way she wouldn't get slushied, and that she could protect Rachel as well if she worked hard and made her way up to Captain eventually. Santana tried out for all of those reasons, and plus it gave her something to do, and her parents would be happy that she was getting involved.
Santana had always been athletic, so she kept up pretty well, but that Coach Sylvester was out of her damn mind. Sure, she had some pretty funny comments, but during try-outs she drove them to the point of exhaustion, most girls throwing up and passing out on the field at one point or another. She had never been more happy when the torment was over for the moment. The next morning was painful to say the least, her sore muscles screaming at her even if she moved a finger. She almost needed help getting off the toilet.
The list of who made it on the squad was posted that morning, and Santana was glad, but mostly scared when she saw her name on the list. But that fear went away when she put on her uniform in the bathroom, and Rachel stared at her with desire in her eyes before pulling her into the handicap stall, pushing her against the wall and kissing her until the bell rang. They were both late for class, a first for Rachel, but it had been worth it. Now that she was a Cheerio, Santana finally felt good about herself, and not so different.
As the first six months of school went by, Santana worked her way from the bottom of the pyramid, to the middle, and now she was next to Brittany, with only Quinn Fabray and a few Seniors on top of them. She had become friends with her too, mostly because she was Brittany's best friend, and she wanted them all to get along. Santana and Rachel's relationship stayed secret, but Brittany and eventually Quinn, knew. How could they not when they spent so much time together, and when they weren't at school, their affection was obvious.
But if you asked Santana, life was going pretty damn perfect. Rachel wouldn't go that far. She was still a loser in the eyes of everyone at McKinley, other than her three friends. But even they couldn't stop the slushies that flew her way at least once a week. They weren't that high on the totem pole yet, the Seniors still gave out the orders, and if they stood up against them, they would automatically make themselves targets. So no matter how angry it made them that Rachel was their number one target, they had to stand down.
But it wasn't just the slushies that bothered Rachel. She and Santana had been 'friends with benefits' for almost a year, and as more time went by, the more she wanted a commitment from the other girl. She knew they were young, but she had always dreamed of being in a relationship, specifically with Santana, whom she's had a crush on since that fateful day when they met on the playground. But it took anyone with a brain to see that at least at this moment in time, Santana wasn't a relationship person. She kissed a lot of boys, but that didn't bother Rachel too much.
She always came back to her, and that's what mattered. And she couldn't help but be pleased when the boys she made out with asked her to be their girlfriend, and she always declined. It made Rachel feel special. Santana had her reasons why nothing went past kissing with boys. The main one being that if they found out she was packing what they had, her social life would end, so she had to keep that a secret no matter what. The second reason being that she didn't even want to date a boy. She wanted Rachel, but wasn't sure if she was ready for that kind of commitment.
Because she kissed boys but never let them feel her up, Santana Lopez was known as a tease. Which was a label she'd gladly take over being the girl with the dick. Of course no one suspected anything of that magnitude as to why she didn't just give it up to some guy. It was easy to conceal, and sometimes she actually felt like a normal girl. That is until she got surprise boners during classes. That shit was embarrassing, even though she'd usually excuse herself to the bathroom, take care of it, and go on like nothing ever happened, she wondered how guys dealt with that so often.
She had seemed to hit her sexual peak around this time. Sure, she had been horny during puberty, but this was high school. Everyone started to really come into their own, and it was impossible not to notice. Rachel had bloomed in the breast department, and she had started working out, which gave her sexy, toned legs. It got Santana hard every time she thought about it, let alone every time the girl bent over and she caught a glimpse of underwear or cleavage. She really needed to get herself under control. But most the time, she just went to Rachel, like she had before.
They never went past dry humping and kissing, though both wanting to. Sometimes groping of breasts was involved, but mainly they stuck to grinding it out. It was an odd relationship, but they never talked about it. If they had, Santana had a feeling that it would be super awkward. And that was the last thing that she wanted between them. They had the perfect friendship, and both would do anything to protect it, even if that meant keeping their feeling about each other to themselves for the time being, knowing it would eventually come up in the future.
Fifteen Years Old
Santana's life was turned upside down forever the middle of Sophomore Year. She knew something bad had happened when Ms. Pillsbury had come and gotten her during Cheerios practice, with a sad look on her face. Well, more sad then usual. Sue was pissed that one of her star cheerleaders was being taken away, but neither of them cared at the moment. The counselor explained what happened on the way to the hospital, that her mother had gotten into a car accident, and wasn't doing very well.
When they arrived, they sat in the waiting room quietly, Santana thinking the worst, doing everything should could not to cry. She had texted Rachel as they left McKinley, and she arrived not long after, immediately jumping into Santana's arms. It was then that the Latina finally let silent tears fall as she clung to her girlfriend. Wiping her eyes, Rachel pulled away, guiding them both into chairs where they remain attached, Santana's head resting on Rachel's shoulder. Ms. Pillsbury rubbed her back as well, doing her best to comfort her.
Roberto Lopez arrived about fifteen minutes later in full on frantic mode. He questioned doctors whenever they passed, and wouldn't stop pacing back and forth across the room, making everyone more anxious. It wasn't until two hours later that a lone doctor came in with a sorrowful look on his face, and they just knew. He didn't even have to say anything. They already knew that she hadn't made it, and Roberto lost it. Yelling and throwing things about before collapsing on the ground in tears.
Santana's reaction was the opposite. She didn't move from her spot. She didn't scream. She didn't throw things. Rachel's arms tightened around her body as she too was in tears. Maria had been the Mother she never had, but tried to best to remain the strong one. If anything, Santana couldn't believe it. She didn't want to. Just that morning her Mother had kissed her on the forehead before she headed off for school, just like every other day...and now she was gone. No more forehead kisses, no more hugs, no more 'I love yous'.
They sat there for a long time, Santana didn't even know how long. Letting her silent tears soak Rachel's shirt. It wasn't until her father picked her up and carried her away, when she realized that she had fallen asleep. The car ride was completely quiet, and Santana let her eyes unfocus as she stared out the window at nothing in particular. There was nothing more that she wanted, then to wake up tomorrow, and this being nothing but a horrible nightmare. She just wanted her Mami back. And would do anything to make that happen.
Next thing she knew, she was being carried again, and this time was sat down on her bed. Roberto took off her shoes and socks, leaving her in her Cheerios uniform, and covering her up with the blankets on her bed. He settled in next to her and wrapped his arm around her waist. She didn't hesitate to grab a hold of his hand, and she held onto him for dear life. When she was littler, her Mother would hold her like this after a bad dream and it always comforted her. Now, it hurt too, but she didn't feel so alone.
When she woke up, her Father was no longer in bed with her, so she took this time to change out of her uniform, and into some PJs. Her phone that was on her nightstand was blinking, probably filled with messages, but she ignored it and got back into bed, pulling the covers over her head, wanting to just disappear. A short while later, the bed behind her dipped down, and she knew by the smell that it was Rachel. She let the smaller girl hold her, plant loving kisses on the back of her neck, and whisper how much she loves her.
Santana never responded, but that was okay with Rachel. The girl had just lost a parent, she was allowed to not have anything to say. In truth, Santana felt nothing anymore. Just numbness. Rachel tried to get Santana to eat before she left for the night, but she refused, not hungry at all, even though she hadn't eaten anything in a day and a half. Santana knew that if she ate something, she would just throw it all back up because of how much stress she was under. She'd never lost anyone in her life before and had no idea how to deal.
It was another two days before she got out of bed and dressed, and it was for the funeral. Rachel, Brittany, and Quinn were there to support Santana, but she didn't even acknowledge them the whole time. She just let them hold her hand, say things that didn't make her feel better, and eventually they all had to leave. Her Father let her stay at the grave site, even sat there with her on a bench as the graveyard workers filled the hole up with dirt. She hadn't cried since that first night the hospital, convinced she ran out because she had shed so many.
Over the next two weeks, Rachel came over every day after school to bring Santana her homework, but that was really just an excuse to see how Santana was doing. And each day that passed she still found her friend the same way, in her bed, staring blankly at the wall, lost in her own thoughts. Rachel did her best to try and engage her in conversation, telling her about the latest news and gossip at McKinley High, but nothing she tried worked. The most she got was grunts, or of she was particularly lucky, one word answers.
When nothing seemed to get the girl to talk, she changed her approach. There were days that she just dropped the homework off, and joined her in bed, holding her until the sun went down and she had to go back to her own house, but not before making Santana some dinner. Eventually, the girl started eating it, which thrilled her. It was a step. But with the Latina's habits starting to return, she still refused to talk about anything. Even though she had never been one to talk about feelings like Rachel, it was still worrisome how closed-off she was to the world...
Sixteen Years Old
The Summer had been a turning point in Santana's life. She went down path that she'd never thought that she would, yet there she was, sitting in the basement of Mack's house, rubbing her nose because she just snorted a line of cocaine. This wasn't the first time though. By now she's actually lost count. Sitting back in the huge lazy-boy, she tried not to think too hard about how she got here. This was her escape. This was the time when she didn't have to think about her Mother, or how her Father had completely closed off since her death.
When she was doing drugs, life faded away, if only for a little while. She needed it. She needed to feel anything other than grief. And the drug did just that. They made her feel like she could fly. They numbed the pain that she felt all day long, giving her a break. For a few hours, everything was okay. At least that's what she told herself. And she hated when the drugs wore off and made her crash back down to reality. She had to go home and face and empty house. The house that used to be so lively was now as dead as her Mother.
Not only had Santana become a Skank and started doing drugs, but she pushed away everyone that she was close to. Well, except for her Father, he had done that all by himself. But Quinn, Brittany, Rachel...she hadn't talked to them in months. She had needed space. She had wanted everyone to stop telling her that things were going to be okay. Because they weren't. She wanted them to stop smothering her, and let her be. One day she had just blocked all their number in her phone, and finally...peace. She relished in it.
It hadn't taken long for Rachel to show up at her door. But it went unanswered, and Santana was thankful that Rachel didn't have the key to the deadbolt they replaced not the long ago. Effectively, shutting everyone out. No one could get in unless she wanted them in. Her Father had taken more shifts at the Hospital, so she rarely saw him. If she needed him, she could call or text, but she didn't, and neither did he. The only real evidence that he was still alive too was that she'd find cash for groceries and take-out on the kitchen counter every week.
But after a few months of doing her homework from home, it was time for her to go back to school. She knew that she couldn't stay away forever, but she sure as Hell tried. It was a small town, so everyone knew what happened to her Mother. She didn't want to see the looks on their faces, whatever their expressions may be. But it was unavoidable. When her Father made a rare appearance one night, he told her that she needed to start living again. Yeah right, he needed to take his own advice before trying to pass it onto her.
When she arrived at school the next day, she could see that people were shocked to see her back. The whispers started, and she could feel the stares, but she kept her head held high and tuned it out to the best of her ability. Of course, it was hard tune her friends out, because they found her at her locker, and all at once, were griped that it had been like she vanished from the face of the Earth. If only she had been that lucky. It didn't take long for her anger to rise to the breaking point, and she practically yelled at them to leave her alone in the middle of the hallway.
For the rest of the year, she fought them off every single time they tried to talk to her, which was more often then Santana predicted. It was tiresome. Why couldn't they just leave her be? Sue hadn't been much better. She constantly tried to get her back on the Cheerios, but even if she wanted to, she definitely didn't have the energy. So she settled into her new routine: wake up, go to school, go home, go to sleep. On rare occasions when she couldn't sleep, she'd go take a slow walk around the neighborhood, and if she felt bad enough, even ventured into Lima Heights Adjacent.
She hadn't been out looking for trouble or anything, or at least not consciously, but it had only taken one accidental run-in with the Skanks to change everything. On one of her walks, she'd come across the group of girls who were obviously high, on their way to Mack's house. They offered for her to come along, and she did. That was the first night that she had ever tried anything drug wise. At first it had only started off with weed. It took the edge off, but she got to wanting something stronger. Eventually, they introduced her to cocaine. And here she was.
It was the last day of summer, so the Skanks had spent basically the entire day doing drugs. One last hurrah before school started. Santana wasn't ready to go back. She thought about dropping out. Would that finally be the thing that made her Father pay attention to her? Probably not. So she tried to enjoy her last day of freedom for a while. That night, she actually went home earlier than usual. It was maybe eight at night? She didn't know, she was still too high, stumbling down the sidewalk to get home. She was tired and wanted her bed.
"Santana?" A familiar voice called.
The darker girl didn't bother looking towards the voice, already knowing who it was. But she was distracted and weak enough to trip over a small rock and fall face-first into the grass in her front yard.
"Oh my God, Santana!" Rachel exclaimed, rushing over to her. "Are you alright? What happened? Are you drunk?"
Too many questions, it was making Santana's head hurt. "No, I'm not drunk! Leave me alone." She managed to get out and push herself up from the ground.
"Your pupils are the size of saucers! Are you high?!"
"So what, GayBerry?" Irritated, she pushed herself away from the small girl and stumbled the rest of the way to the front door. "Go home."
"I certainly will not! I'm not leaving you in this condition!"
"Stop fucking yelling, Jesus Christ."
After demanding the house key, Rachel took it from her and lead her into the house, following right behind her. Of course nothing with Santana could be easy, and it seemed like she purposefully made it that way, this time by struggling to get up the stairs. The Latina knew that the drug crash was coming, and made it hard to focus on getting up all the stairs, especially when Rachel was right there, sighing in a mix of disappointment and anger. She had never wanted anyone, specifically Rachel, to find out about her...habit. By now she could actually admit to herself that it was indeed a habit.
"Where did you get the drugs?"
Santana plopped down on the bed face-first. "Where do you think?"
After Rachel took off her friend's jacket, shoes, and finally got her settled...her anger turned into sadness. She couldn't believe what Santana had become in just a few months.
"You can't do this to your body, San." Rachel said softly, brushing a few strands of hair out of her face.
"It's mine, I can do whatever I want with it." She muttered back into her pillow before she passed out.
When she woke up, Rachel was right there beside her. She had expected as much, but it was still annoying. Why couldn't she just leave her be?
"Last night was it."
Santana frowned. "Was it, what?"
"No more late nights God knows where. No more skipping classes. No more shutting your friends out. And no more drugs. You're done."
Rachel's voice was as stern as she'd ever heard it. It sounded scary coming out of her mouth, which was usually so full of bubbly happiness. Santana knew she meant business.
But she still pushed her luck. "You can't fucking control me, Berry."
"You can't even control yourself, Lopez. It's time to turn your life back around. I don't care how much you don't want to, it's happening. I'm not standing aside anymore and letting you ruin your life."
And so it was law. But Santana did put up a good fight, at least in her eyes. They had fought about it for what seemed like hours before Rachel finally slapped her, then broke down. Her weakness was always Rachel crying, damn her. She still didn't want to change, but Rachel made it impossible not to. The girl literally spent every waking moment with her that she could, and when she couldn't, it was Quinn or Brittany, who had been alerted of Santana's drug problem. They were surprised, but immediately came to the aid of the friend, taking turns looking after her.
They literally had shifts, so Santana couldn't slip out and get what she wanted at any time. It was hard. She'd stay up all night craving the high that she used to get. She wanted it so badly. If only she could make them understand. Withdrawls sucked. But they were there with her all the way. Rachel had done research on the topic of coming off of drugs, of course, and seemed to know how to handle everything. And then in proper Rachel Berry style, had put together a PowerPoint presentation for Quinn and Brittany so they would know what to do.
When she had cravings, they would make sure to reassure Santana that cravings never lasted too long, and tried to get her to focus on something else. When she was so tired but couldn't sleep, they sang as they held her close, loosing they're own sleep. And with her renewed appetite, they fixed her home-made meals, something that she hadn't had in so long. Slowly, things began to turn around, and Santana had a realization. How fucking bad it had really gotten. How much life she had wasted in a dingy basement, harming her body. She was ashamed.
It felt fucking good to be sober again. She'd made it through withdrawls and even though she still had cravings, thanks to the support and patience of her best friends, she knew she'd make it. Without them, she'd still be snorting a line in the morning to get her through the day, smoking weed behind a dumpster with the Skanks, and doing more lines of coke in the evening, and maybe a pill or two. There was no way that she could pay her friends back for everything they did. But she could try. She was on the road of trying to get back to the person she'd become before this whole shit-storm started. It was going to be difficult.
No one but the Skanks and Rachel, Quinn, and Brittany knew about her drug problems, so the school population was surprised that the Summer Santana was gone, and a more normal Santana was here now. Of course since things spread like wildfire, the entire school population had known about Santana's joining of The Skanks, but that girl was nowhere to be seen when she had walked into school the first day of Junior year. She heard the whispers behind her back, everyone was wondering what had gotten into her during the Summer, and was waiting for something to happen, but it never did.
She was just being herself now, which she had never really truly been at school. But she'd been to Hell and back, so things like this made her realize that time was precious, and she was tired of being someone that she wasn't. However, this made her vulnerable. Now that she wasn't on the Cheerios anymore, her protection and popularity were gone. Quinn may be on her way to Captain now, but even she couldn't stop the slushies since she wasn't in power just yet. This also made her realized just how bad it was to be Rachel, getting slushied three times a week.
"Hey, Lopez?" Karofsky said, coming up in front of her one day. "You look like you need to cool off."
And then the purple slushie hit her square in the face, ice shards stabbing her skin, and purple mush dripping off her face and onto her clothes. It took everything she had not to punch him in his huge fucking face of his, but she breathed slowly and counted to ten as she continued down the hall to the bathroom to clean herself up. If she were still on cocaine, she could have easily pounded him into the ground, but she wasn't and she didn't. It was important to get her anger under control. And in most situations like this, she had to be the bigger person. For her own sake.
Seventeen Years Old
Her last year of high school was a scary thought for Santana. The future was basically one big question mark, and she wasn't sure if she was ready to go out into the world and make it own her own. She had no idea what she even wanted to do with her life. Not like Rachel, who was obsessively picking and re-picking the song that she was going to audition for NYADA with, which ate up basically all their free time. And Quinn was studying harder than ever, planning on going to an Ivy League college, plus finally being the Captain of the Cheerios, she barely saw her anymore.
And since Rachel had made Santana join Glee so she had something to focus on and keep her busy, they were all focused on something all the time. Brittany was like Santana, not knowing what she wanted to do in her future either. So while the other two girls were working towards their life goals, Brittany and Santana spent basically all their free time together. In doing so, they became closer than ever. But nothing romantic was going on. Nope, Santana still had a thing for Rachel. And by 'had a thing', she was basically in love. She mainly kept it to herself because Rachel had enough on her plate, not needing romance to distract her at the moment.
Besides the slushies, which thankfully were few and far between now that Quinn was in charge, Santana's school life got exponentially better. Well, for the most part. Finn Hudson had taken a sudden interest in Rachel. It really bugged the Hell out of her, watching him corner her whenever he could to ask her out or ask her for vocal help (which he actually did need, but that's beside the point). However, Santana had no claim on the short girl, so there was nothing she could do, other than insult him every time she could, which made her feel slightly better.
It wasn't until one day when everything changed. She had ran into the big lump in the hallway on her way to Glee practice. They exchanged stupid remarks, like usual, but this time, Finn really seemed to have it out for her...and she did something that was no only unexpected, but terrifying. Because if he could see it in her, who else could? Did she have to worry about others too?
"Hey, Santana, why don't you just come out of the closet?" Finn said as he smirked to himself, stopping the Latina in her tracks. "You know, I think I know why you're so good a tearing everybody else down. It's because you're constantly tearing yourself down, because you can't admit to everyone that you're in love with Brittany and she might now love you back." He paused, drawing closer to her, who still had her back turned to him. "That must hurt not being able to admit how you really feel. You know what I think you are? You're a coward."
Santana immediately turned on her heel and grabbed Finn, pushing him in the empty classroom behind him and shutting the door, ready to give him a piece of her mind. "You know what, Gigantor? The reason why I haven't come out is because this school is a fucking piece of work! You should know, you're own step-brother was bullied and threatened with his life! He was brave for coming out, and I applaud him for that, but that doesn't mean it makes me a coward for not doing the same thing. Did you ever think that I'm not ready to share that part of me with everyone? It's not your decision to say when people need to reveal things about themselves. God, you don't fucking think about anything or anyone but yourself! You think that you're such a good guy and a good leader, but really you are just a humongous douchebag." Santana took in a big breath, and let it out slowly. She had been wanting to say that for the longest time, but didn't because of Rachel. "And don't act like you know everything about me, I'm not in love with Brittany. She happens to be one of my best friends and I don't think of her like that. However," She decided to push it, just to rile him up. "Rachel's another story." She smiled and left him confused with that confused, constipated look on his face.
Deciding to skip Glee because she was way too peeved now, Santana headed out to the parking lot and got in her car, and that's when the realization of what she'd said finally hit her, and it made her heart speed up. Getting anxious, she started to crave the high that saved her from thinking for a while. Instead of giving in though, she decided some peace and quiet is what she needed, so she went to the place where she knew would calm her down. So she went to the park and sat down in her usual spot under the tree, then another worry entered her mind. What if Finn was mad enough to go straight to Jacob Ben Israel? Then she was really screwed.
Meanwhile, Finn stomped his way to the auditorium where he knew Rachel would be practicing before Glee. He needed to know if Santana had just said that to mess with him, or if there was actually something going on between the two. But, she must have been playing a bad practical joke, because Rachel wasn't like that. Least that what he told himself. Santana had been with him Sophomore year for God's sake! This needed to be straightened out, and now. More determined than ever, he forced the side auditorium door open, not bothering to be the least bit quiet.
Rachel saw the tall boy enter out of the corner of her eye. "Hello, Finn-"
"What's going on with you and Santana?" He huffed and came to a stop beside the piano bench where she sat.
She sighed, not knowing exactly what he thought he knew, but wasn't worried, so she continued to write on her sheet of music. "I don't see how that is any of your concern."
He scoffed. "It is if she is messing with you."
Finally looking up at him, she replied. "And what exactly is she doing to mess with me?"
"She pretty much told me that she likes you. Don't fall for it, Rach...she's just being her bitchy self."
Setting her pencil down, she turned to face him. "Finn, you really should talk about things like you know what's going on, when you don't."
"Then tell me what's going on." He demanded.
"Once again, I don't see how it's any of your business."
"Am I the only one that remembers you being so upset by her ignoring your existence for half a year and a whole Summer?! Whatever she's doing, it's probably just something else to hurt you, and I don't want you to fall for it. She's proven that she doesn't care about anyone."
Rachel bit her lip for a few moments, not wanting to say anything about Santana that wasn't anyone's business but hers. Standing up, she gathered her music sheets before finally answering him. "Finn...I've known Santana since I was six years old. It wasn't until a tragedy made her push, not only me, but everyone away. It was her way of coping. She was mad at the world. I do know the true Santana, and she is finally starting to get back to the girl I grew up with and love. So no, I don't believe that she is playing a joke on me, because I know her better than anyone. So please, don't talk about things you really don't know anything about." Once she was done with her little speech, she promptly turned on her heels and walked quickly to the choir room.
Rachel was surprised that Santana wasn't there, since she joined at the beginning of the year and it wasn't like her to miss a practice. Immediately, her mind went to the worst possible scenario, that Santana had skipped out to buy drugs and that she was doing a line of coke at this very moment. But she shook that image out of her head, the girl she knew was stronger than that. She hadn't gone through all that hard work just to relapse again. Instead of freaking out, she just typed out a text, simply asking where she was. She didn't have to wait but a few seconds for a response.
Our spot.
Faking not feeling well, Rachel skipped the rest of the Glee Club meeting and drove to the spot she knew well. Santana was sitting under their tree, leaning against it with her eyes closed. She looked so beautiful, peaceful and relaxed. It was nice to see her like that again. Without saying anything, she took a seat next to her friend and they sat in silence for a while.
"What brought you here?" Rachel finally asked, letting her head drop onto Santana's shoulder.
Santana opened her eyes and rested her head on top of Rachel's. "Fucking Jolly Green Giant pissed me off."
"What'd he say to you?"
Santana flicked a piece of dirt out of irritation, but kept her voice monotone. "Just that he knows I'm in love with Brittany and that I'm a coward for not coming out. Fucking idiot doesn't know anything. And so I told him off, and now he's probably going to tell the whole school about me."
"You don't sound too worried." Rachel replied, curious as to why she sounded so calm.
"I was. But after I thought about it, I guess it wouldn't be so bad. No more pretending to be someone I'm not."
Rachel shook her head. "No one should share something like that to the world when it's none of their business."
"True. But...I think I'm ready."
"I...are you sure?"
The Latina nodded. "I've been to Hell and back, not much can be worse than my rock bottom." She said quietly. "There's not that much school left, anyway."
"What about your Dad?"
She shrugged. "I don't know how he'll take it, but I doubt he'd kick me out for it since he's hardly ever even there. I'm more worried about my Abuela, she's the religious one of the family."
"Well no matter what happens, I'm here for you. So are Q and Brit."
"I know." Santana smiled, then leaned over and kissed Rachel, not caring who saw.
Rachel and Santana had parted ways a the park, both going back to their respective homes. Both still reeling from the kiss. It was a turning point for both of them. Rachel had always dreamed of the day when her best friend wasn't afraid to kiss her in public. It was just as perfect as she imagined, even more special that it was in their spot. Nothing could wipe the smile off of her face for the rest of the day. Of course she gushed to her Fathers about the kiss, she just couldn't keep it in. They were just happy that their daughter was happy, and they already loved Santana.
When Santana got home, she took a piece of stationary from her Dad's office and wrote him a letter. It was easier, since he was so hard to pin down these days. She did her best not to let the letter get too long, since she knew he wouldn't have the time for that with his purposely busy schedule. So she stuck to the basics on how she always felt different, that she finally figured out why, and that if he didn't approve, he could text her and she could be moved out in a matter of hours, knowing that the Berry's would take her in without hesitance. She'd drop if off in the morning.
The next thing on her to do list was go to her Abuela. She sat there through dinner, working up the courage as she listed to her grandma chat on about her friends, the annoying neighbors, and complaining about her son's work schedule at the hospital. All the while, Santana had to choke down bite after bite of food that she wasn't hungry for. The nerves were eating her up inside. It was a big bomb to drop, it was normal to be nervous. Finally after an hour, her Abuela asked about her life, what she been up to...and this was her chance. Describing the way she felt the best way that she could.
"It's a sin you keep to yourself.", "You're Mother would be so disappointed in you...", and finally, "I want you out of my house." Were just a few things that had come out of her Abuela's mouth before she stood up and left, managing to keep herself together until she got into her car. She had expected a bad reaction, but inside of her, she still hoped that the bond she had shared with the older woman her whole life would make her see things differently. But no, not even that could. And it hurt. It really fucking hurt. So she drove to the one place she knew was safe and accepting.
Rachel held Santana that night as she cried in the girl's shoulder, allowing herself tonight to mourn the loss of another family member. Tomorrow though, she would be strong. But no, the words echoed trough her head, "You're Mother would be so disappointed in you...". She clenched her teeth together, getting more angry than upset. She believed that wouldn't be true. Her Mother had always told Santana to love herself, and to be herself no matter what. This was Santana being herself, and she knows in her heart that her Mother would be proud of her.
The next morning Santana dropped her letter off at the hospital and went to school. She spent most of the day trying to calm Rachel down about her NYADA audition after school rather than worrying about her Father. By the end of the day, the shorter girl was literally shaking, not wanting to screw up this opportunity. It was her ticket to New York, and hopefully the start to her dream of getting on Broadway. She rubbed Rachel's back as they stood in the wings, watching Kurt perform 'Not The Boy Next Door', which he was killing, and obviously entertaining Ms. Tibideaux.
"He's so good. I don't know if I can do this." Rachel breathed out.
"Wow, I never thought I'd hear you say those words."
"It's just...everything is riding on this, San."
"And you are going to kill it, like you always do." Santana said, cupping Rachel's face before leaning down and kissing her sweetly. "Was that okay?" She whispered after pulling back slightly, lips still grazing as she talked.
Rachel smiled up at her. "Definitely." She replied before capturing the plump lips in front of her again, her nerves melting away with each second.
"Rachel Berry?" Carmen Tibideaux announced.
"Now go knock 'em dead." Santana said before giving Rachel a small push and heading to sit with Kurt, Blaine, and Mr. Schue in the audience.
And she did. Rachel gave the performance of her life, and Carmen whatsherface would be an absolute idiot if she didn't offer a place a NYADA for her. Kurt and Blaine rushed down to the stage the second Ms. Tibideaux left the auditorium and enveloped Rachel in a tight hug. Santana smiled and shook her head before leaving, letting them have their moment with her, before heading to Rachel's locker, where she knew the girl would find her. It only took thirty seconds before she was running down the hall and jumping into the taller girl's arms.
"You were amazing." Santana said into brown hair as she held on tight.
After a few moments, Rachel pulled away, but still held onto her friend, their faces close.
Both girls wanted nothing more than to kiss again, so they did. Both leaning in at the same time and smashing their lips together, harder and more passionate than the one before.
"Rachel Berry and Santana Lopez, caught kissing in the empty halls of McKinley High!" Jacob Ben Israel's voice came from out of nowhere, causing the two girls to separate, but stay close. "Scandalous! Rachel, can you please tell the viewers if this is the reason that you broke up with Quarterback Finn Hudson?" He asked, shoving his small camera closer to her.
Glaring, Rachel ignored the camera and spoke straight to Jacob. "I never dated Finn Hudson and never will. My heart always belonged to someone else..."
"Santana Lopez, perhaps?" He smiled creepily.
"As a matter of fact...yes! I've been in love with Santana since I was seven and she rebuilt my sand castle with me on the playground."
"You have?" The Latina's heart soared in her chest.
"Of course."
Santana nodded slightly. "Me too..."
"You heard it here first, folks! Rachel Berry and Santana Lopez are in love!" Jacob said to his camera before turning it off and running down the hallway, most likely to upload that footage to his website.
"Well, the whole school is going to know by morning. Are you okay with that?" Rachel asked nervously.
"I am if you are."
"I am. Why wouldn't I want everyone to know that little old me bagged the hottest girl in school?"
Santana rolled her eyes and shook her head. Feeling buzzing in her pocket, Santana's smile dropped for the first time that day. Looking at the alert that said "DAD", she was afraid to open the message. After a minute, she just decided to get it over with, so she swiped her finger to the side, opening it up. What she read made her heart skip a beat, and immediately, tears formed in her eyes.
I love you, Mija.
Eighteen Years Old
Graduation had come and gone, and now Santana and Rachel lay beneath their tree in the park, openly cuddling on a blanket. They had been officially dating for about two months, and now they were soaking up the last Summer before their lives really began. Rachel would be headed off to NYADA in a few weeks, along with Kurt, and Santana...well...she didn't quite know what she was going to do. She hated school, so college definitely wasn't going to be her thing, but she knew that the last thing on Earth she wanted was to be stuck in Lima for forever.
"You could always come to New York with me..." Rachel softly as she played with her girlfriend's fingers.
This wasn't the first time this suggestion had come up. Each time Santana had blown it off though, not wanting to talk about the future as much as savor the present.
"And what would I do in New York?" She sighed.
"Find something that makes you feel like Broadway makes me feel. Excited, inspired."
"You make it sound so easy. You've known what you wanted to do since you we an embryo..."
"That may be true, but part of the fun is discovering. Exploring new things. Who knows, you might try something and it will just click in your head."
"That kind of stuff only happens in movies." Santana rebuffed.
"That's what I thought about love, until you. It used to be this thing that I read about in books or saw in movies. Now I'm living it. Anything can happen."
Rachel always made her believe in the impossible one way or another. And that look in her eyes made her want to take the leap of faith.
"You're right." She nodded, pulling the smaller girl in for a kiss.
"It's normal to be scared. But you don't have to be there alone. You have Kurt and I in New York, and Quinn and Britt will only be a few hours away."
She did have an amazing support system...
"So...New York?" Rachel asked with a bright smile.
Santana kiss her girlfriend again. "New York."
A/N: This was a one-shot and will not be made into a multi-chapter fic. Hope you liked it!