I agreed with Hanson earlier today that I'd go to Chez Roux with him. I'm sitting here in my living room after work debating weather or not to go. I mope up to my room and glance in the mirror. I just stand there.
"Just go." I say finally to myself looking in the mirror. I put on some decent clothes, (a button up shirt, jeans and sneakers), better than my work clothes. I take in a deep breath and put on my coat. I un-tuck my hair so that it flows over my coat. Then I grab my keys and I'm out the door.
"This is no different then the last time." I mumble to myself. "You already said you'd go." I say, again… to myself.
I tuck my hair behind my ear and walk into Chez Roux. It's quiet, slow, not too many people.
And there…Oh my, there…Hanson sitting at the bar playing with his coaster.
I walk up to him.
He looks up at me and he instantly puts a smile on his face. "You made it!" he says.
I swallow hard, and start to feel bad. "Yea, I made it. Um, how long were you waiting here?" I asked.
"Oh, not too, too long, just an hour… And a half."
My mouth drops. Great going Brittany! I put my hand to my mouth. "Oh my, I'm so sorry!" I'm about to cry, how I could be so stupid as too…
"No, it's ok." He puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes. "Penhall stopped by. He left about fifteen minutes ago." He grabs hold of my coat and starts taking it off. I make it easier for him and take my arms out. He puts my coat on the back of a stool. "Please sit down." He said, so I sit down still feeling bad.
I stare at the counter of the bar for a few minutes when he finally speaks.
"Are you ok, Brittany?" he says motioning towards me. I look him in the eye. Oh how they sparkle. I quickly look down. He motions my head so that I meet his gaze.
"I'm fine." I put on a slight smile. He looks deeper into my eyes.
"You sure?"
"Yes. I'm fine."
He gives me a look. He isn't buying it.
"I just feel bad, about not coming sooner." I turn to face the bar putting my hands on top of it, "I'm really sorry."
Hanson grabs my hand, wraps it in his and squeezes it, "Don't be Brittany. Please stop saying your sorry. There is absolutely no need for it." I glance over at him, my left hand still in his and enjoying it being there. He puts my hand to his lips, his dark chocolate eyes peering over my hand. His soft lips give my hand a slight peck. He then grasps my hand with both of his and he rests our hands on my lap.
"I don't want you feeling uncomfortable, being with me. Being without Sam and being here with me, I don't want you to feel…Well, bad." He says.
"I don't. I mean I miss him and all, but when I'm full of sadness at times or when I'm feeling bad, like when I didn't come here earlier, you seem to make all of that go away. When our eyes meet and when you talk to me or give me a gentle shoulder squeeze, I feel better…Instantly. I just want to know, how do you feel about me?" My heart starts to pound. I can feel my cheeks getting red.
He licks his lips and stares at me…Thinking.
"Brittany," He squeezes my hand a little harder, "I want you to be happy. When I'm with you I'm happy. I love being with you so much. When I'm at work, I sit at my desk hesitantly awaiting your arrival. When you walk in and sit down, honestly, my heart melts. Jackie and I are over, there was barely anything there. I mean at times there was something, but other times." He sighs. "I feel something different with you…Something more. I think that if we go to this wedding that it would, possibly bring us closer. That isn't the only reason why I want to go. I want to be with you, get away, from here, and be with you." He looks down at our hands, his still holding mine. I take my free hand to put his head up too look me in the eye.
"I was afraid of asking you how you felt. I was afraid that you would say something, and I would get hurt or upset. I was afraid, what I felt for you was the wrong thing to feel." I put my hand on his cheek and kept it there. "But now that I know how you feel about me, I just want you to know…Every time you touch me, look at me, talk to me, my heart melts. When you held me while we were at the park, I melted in your arms. When you said what you did just now, I'm not afraid anymore."
He smiles that gorgeous smile of his and I smile back. I put my hand on the bar.
"Um, you know that tomorrow is Julie's wedding right?"
It simply slipped my mind while I was staring into his eyes.
"Oh, yes. Of course I know that tomorrow… is Julie's wedding." I smile. He gives me a playful look.
"Well you do remember that I wanted you and me to go…Together. Right?" He asks.
"Yes, I remember."
"Well, um. I was wondering if…" I see his hands trembling and I see him start to sweat.
"You can ask me anything Hanson. You know that." I say in a soft calming voice. He swallows.
"Um…I was simply wondering if I could stay at your place tonight. I wanted us to get up bright and early and leave quickly and it only seemed easier if I stayed with you tonight so that we could leave, at one time."
I laugh. I sigh and give it a thought.
"Ok, so you want to stay with me, so that when I wake up and get dressed and what not that you wanted to leave then. So then you wouldn't have to drive all the way over and us missing our chance to go to Julie's wedding…Am I right?" I say.
"Yes." He says and smiles.
"Alright, you can stay with me tonight. I actually have a guest room, but if you'd prefer the couch, that option is open too." I say. "But I'd rather you have a bed to sleep in, it's more comfortable."
"Thanks." Hanson says sheepishly. I look at the clock…9:00 p.m. I can see that an hour has gone by already.
"Well we should get an early start to bed. Let me buy you some dinner and we can head back to your place. I have a bag packed for tomorrow in my car, just in case." Hanson says.
Marjike fixes us a wonderful meal. Not sure what it's called, but it has eggplant. I was too busy staring at Hanson and eating some of the food that I forgot what Marjike had said it was. Moved to a back table with a candle lit in the center I wonder… Is this love? Am I in love with Hanson? I know what happened between me and Sam was sudden, but would it be too sudden if something had happened between Hanson and me? We have known each other for about 3 years now. I still think I should wait on that and see.
We finish our meal with not too much chit-chat. We mainly talk of work, how the case is going and what not.
Turns out that they aren't after a thief, they are after a high school drop out with nothing better to do but sell drugs and lure in young women, beat them while high and only God knows what else, Fuller has a hunch as to what the 'what else' may be. As do all the other officers. The break in was just a cover up. Jordan Foster is the name of the man. Hanson told me that Booker seems to be getting closer to him, finding out his hiding place and stash.
Once we were done, talking and eating. We get up to leave, Hanson pays the bill and I leave the tip. He comes back and helps me with my coat. We walk to the door and to his car.
Man do I love his car. That mustang just roars in my ears, makes my stomach turn (in a good exciting way) and rumble. I get chills and get in once I see that Hanson has opened the passenger side door. I tell him thank you and get in. The leather seats are cold and once he gets in he turns on the heat. It may be older (1968) but it sure can roast you up and make you toasty warm. He turns it down after a while of roasting. Once we get to my place we go inside. I make up the guest room for him and I turn to go out of the room to get ready for bed. He stops me, puts his hand on my shoulder.
"I want to thank you. I mean you didn't have to do this." He says looking at the bed I made for him.
"I know, but I wanted to. It's the least I could do. I mean we have known each other a long time, seems like forever and I thought it was time to be courteous and let you stay with me." I smile. He kisses my forehead, what I thought was a good night kiss. I step forward, a wee bit closer to the exit, but I don't go anywhere. He's looking at me with longing eyes. His face motions closer towards mine and before I know it we are locking lips.
After a few moments of long, hard, seemingly passionate kisses, he tells me good night. I give him one more kiss and I walk out thinking what a good night kiss that was!
I then climb into bed and dream of Hanson.