A Man Horribly Wronged

Summary: The lament of a once happily married man, whose marriage was destroyed by an insistent half-ghost.

Disclaimer: I do not own Danny Phantom.

That miserable ghost! I knew he was trouble when he first showed up at my door, looking for products of my and Maddie's life work. But my wife is the soul of courtesy and compassion.

The child said his parents were missing because of an accident. My wife is beautiful as she shows her passion. And that insolent boy dared to interrupt an intimate moment. Such cheek! If that wasn't bad enough, he stopped me from kissing my wife to ask about a "ghost portal," of all things.

I am the new "dairy king," a captain of industry. We don't discuss ghosts in this house! I haven't thought of ghosts since the accident where I saved Maddie's life. The accident hit Jack, turning him into a ghost.

It is true, that I lied to them so many years ago. I told Jack that Maddie despised him for what he'd become, and I told Maddie that Jack hated her because of the accident. But that was over eighteen years ago. Maddie and I have been happily married since. What happened before that is truly irrelevant. After 18 years of blissful marriage before God and the State of Wisconsin, no one has the right to change that.

And this ghost called my wife his mother. How dare he suggest that my Maddie was unfaithful? He said that he was the son of Maddie and Jack in another time line. This illegitimate child of time told me, "It wasn't supposed to happen this way." I liked my life this way! My life was perfect until this ghost child showed up. And if this wasn't bad enough, he had the temerity to rekindle the flame that died between my wife and Jack, who hugged in an adulterous embrace.

While Jack stood there, embracing my wife, telling me they were meant for each other, I used Maddie's anti-ghost weaponry (and when did she make all of this? In a sub-basement I never contracted to have built, no less? But my beloved wife is not to blame here...) to destroy the creature who broke and entered my home to steal my wife from me.

I'm still not sure how I ended up with the short end of the stick, here. Angry at me (!) for the intrusion of these ghosts and memories and thoughts of what might have been, Maddie spat, "You despicable, lying piece of ... cheese!"

I reminded her, "I may be a lying piece of cheese," as I did lie all those years ago, "but I'm still your husband." She should have seen reason. Our 18 years of marriage had to count for something.

I am still flabbergasted at her reaction. She picked me up with strength I didn't know she had and threw me into this accursed Ghost Zone, yelling "Consider this an annulment!"

What had I done to deserve this? Maddie, my college sweetheart and wife of almost half a lifetime, rejected me, my love, our marriage, everything we have together over ghosts: Jack and his accident, and this insolent, ill-begotten creature from another time line.

Now, I'm stuck in an alternate dimension of sorts called the Ghost Zone, at the mercy of ghosts who torture and torment me regularly for the crime of being from the Real World. (It's a miracle I'm still alive.)

And all of this was caused by a half-ghost named Danny. This is so horribly wrong!