Disclaimer: I don't own these characters nor will I ever. I suppose it's actually a good thing cause if I actually did own these characters and did this on the show I suppose I would but hunted with pitch forks right now so I guess it's for the best.

To think I might not see those eyes

Makes it so hard not to cry

And as we say our long goodbyes

I nearly do

It happened in a blink of an eye.

One second Sam was standing there- starring at him with an expression best described as a mix of fear and triumph- and then he was gone- gone where Dean had gone before but Dean couldn't follow.

It was different from when Sam died last time. Last time it felt like Sam was falling in slow motion after Jake stabbed him and all time seemed to have stopped. This time time was continuing- the clock was still ticking. Time didn't care that Sam was not in the world anymore even though Sam just saved it. Dean hated the world and how it worked.

Dean would eventually remember talking to Castiel; feeling a deep relief when he saw Bobby breathing once again, but mostly he just felt grief- an indescribable pain that his brother, partner, his everything was gone.

Now Dean was sitting at Lisa's coffee table, cursing his stupid gigantor brother and his stupid promises Dean couldn't bear to break.

Lisa set a mug of hot coffee in front of him. I thought she promised beer?

"Are you sure you are alright?" Lisa's face seemed to show genuine concern. If Dean did not have a whole inside of him that seemed bigger than the one Sam just fell into he would have felt touched.

"I'm fine," Dean gruffed, sipping his coffee loudly as if hoping to end the conversation.

Not taking a hint, Lisa slowly took a seat in front of Dean and said "Dean, you really don't look fine... Where is Sam? Doesn't he hunt with you? Maybe he can help-"

Dean immediately pushed the table away, nearly knocking his coffee as he did it, and began to head to the couch in the basement. Dean yelled "I'm going to bed" as he went. Dean didn't bother to look back to see Lisa slowly raise her hand to her lips in understanding.

Dean made his way down the basement stairs, his body and mind feeling heavier with each step. How Dean wished he could fix everything- Find a magic book and bring Sam back; Kill a monster and make it bring Sam back...Make a deal...

Dean paused by the couch he would be sleeping on and put his hand on it roughly. Even if he could do one of these things he wouldn't but Sam made him promise.

Sammy...

Dean's face started to crumble as he started to lay down on the couch. He pulled the blankets around him like a small child-harsh sobs breaking out of his body into the night.

O-O-O

Sam's eyes were closed shut as he was waiting for inevitable events of Hell to arrive. Dean had once told him that Hell was nothing like you would find in those cheap movies or TV shows, but he couldn't help waiting for the intense wave of heat, lava and ash mixed in with what Dean told him with the racks of torture. Then again... Sam was not going where Dean once was previously... he was in the lowest part of the pit you can get.

When Sam finally did open his eyes he saw no lava, no racks... no nothing. All Sam saw was blackness. It didn't feel like a black room because as Sam felt around he felt no signs of any walls. People or any signs of life but him. Sam knew from experience that this was not Heaven and it did not seem like Hell... so where the hell was he?

Sam felt a sudden jolt of hope. If Sam was not in Heaven or in Hell, maybe he was not doomed. Maybe he could find a way back to Dean...

Sam was still looking around when he heard a voice from deep inside him:

"Hello, Samuel."

Sam jumped and clumsily looked around everywhere. He concluded that there was nobody there so the voice must be coming from... but it couldn't be...

"You will not find me Samuel, I am a part of you." As expected, the voice was once again coming from inside of him.

Sam did his best to catch his breath. Can you die of a heart attack if you are already dead and have no idea where you are? Sam couldn't say he liked this peculiar experience very much.

"Who is this?" Sam called out though he didn't really know really know where to look. Sam had a feeling he already knew the answer to his question though.

"I am the one you have been looking for" the voice replied shortly.

Sam paused as if he was waiting for more. That's it? After how long he waited, after all he did- that's all he gets?

"Ughh..." Sam muttered uncomfortably. He felt he was talking to himself. "So..." Sam shuffled his feet. "Where am I?"

"You are neither in Heaven in Hell." Before Sam said anything "God"- or whoever this was- spoke again. "And no, you are in "Limbo" either. "God" gave an odd chuckle as if laughing at his own joke.

Sam raised his eyebrows. So "God" was a joker... interesting.

"You did not answer my question." Sam was getting frustrated and was starting to care less if he was being rude at this point.

God clearly didn't seem to care because he chuckled again. "You are in a place I created." There was a pause as if God was admiring his own work but Sam couldn't see him do it. "I created this place for rare occasions: souls that have not already been decided in their fate; Souls that have the right and have earned to make their own decisions." There was a pause as Sam held his breath. "I am here to let you make that choice."

Sam could not believe his ears. For so long God has abandoned them, abandoned the earth... and now he is here letting Sam make a choice about his fate... a simple wish Sam had wanted his whole life. But really... after everything, Sam just wanted what he always had- he wanted Dean.

"I want to go back to Earth."

God gave something that almost sounded like a sigh. "Dear Samuel... I have not even given you your options yet."

"Well, what are they? I don't mean to be rude- especially to you of all people- but... I told you, I want to go back. That's all I want."

Once again there was a long and frustrating pause. "Dear Samuel," God repeated again leaving Sam frustrated. "Please do not concern yourself with manners. You have done more than enough for me and my planet that you have the right to say what whatever you feel. However..." If God had feet Sam could picture him shuffling them. "I must decline your request."

Sam felt his heart fall to his chest. Whatever hope he had just blew away with the faux wind. Suddenly Sam felt a surge of anger to this being he had once believed in with all his heart.

"You decline?" Sam had nobody to glare to but his eyes were flashing anyways. "I thought you said I had a choice! Well, screw your other choices- that is the only one I want. Throw me back in the cage for all I care. "Sam knew he was getting out of line but at this moment he did not care.

"Please listen to me Samuel..." God did not sound angry, he actually sounded apologetic. "I understand your anger. I have witnessed too many people being angry for far less meaningful reasons. But I do wish for you to listen to me." God waited as if to see if Sam would listen and then continued. "Samuel... in the history of my creation... there have been very few people that have had the chance to die and live again like you and your brother have. And not just once, but multiple times. I believe you deserve the chance to have peace- live once again your family-"

"My family?" Sam sneered, My Family is Dean and he needs him. Besides! I've been to your so called Heaven. It sucks. I'm not going back there."

"Yes..." God spoke softly, "I'm afraid your last visit to my home did not show it in very fine light. It was necessary I'm afraid. I do believe when you return you will find the peace you are looking for and all your questions answered."

"I'm not going back there." Sam repeated in a no nonsense tone which normally pissed Dean off.

There was a sigh. "Very Well. Though I do wish you would think and reconsider."

Sam stood his ground and stayed the stubborn ass that Dean always liked to call him. "I won't reconsider."

"Well, then it seems we have landed in quite a predicament. You won't go to Heaven, but I also don't think it's wise to have you go back into living once again."

Suddenly a harsh wind picked up when before there seemed to be no sign of nature whatsoever.

"Are you doing this?" Sam asked looking around all over.

"I have an idea," God replied simply.

"Is this what usually happens when you have an idea?"

"Usually. But it can happen with many emotions."

Sam scoffed. "So... what is this idea?" Sam knew he was being rude again. Sam should be jumping up and down for not being dammed to Hell after all he had done yet he was bashing and declining God's offers. Call him childish, after all he complained about wanting his space and wanting to be his own person, it was Dean he wanted. And Heaven didn't have him. That place showed that to him the first time.

"My idea... is to let you go back. BUT-"He exclaimed when Sam started to get excited. "You will not go back as you were before. You will not be alive. You will be what you once hunted- a spirit." God gave Sam time to have this all sink in. "But don't get upset. This way you can be with Dean. Keep an eye on him. You will never move on, but you will get what you want. And maybe, hopefully sooner than later, you will be willing to join us in paradise. We will always be happy to have you. So? Does this satisfy you, young Samuel?"

Sam had to think. Sam was done with being a monster. He was one on Earth- he proved that many times over- and was in no rush to become one again. But... he would not be forced to go to Heaven which was devoid of Dean. He would not even be dammed to Hell. And if he had to be a monster again to be with Dean, then so be it.

Sam raised his voice to say his choice loud and clear: "Alright then."

The breeze picked up and soon Sam and that room was no more.

o-o-o

3 months later

It was dinner time and Dean was expected to make and clear the table like he was some child with chores to do. "We're happy to have you here, Dean" Lisa had once said, but you need to help out a bit more. Do you mind helping out with the table or something?" And since then it has become a routine that Dean would make and clear the table. Oh how things have changed for the big Winchester.

Dean was given this chore until he assumed he got a new job. He had a job at a garage shortly after arriving at Lisa's, but due circumstances Dean got fired from that job about two months in. Apparently it was not in good fashion to get into fist fights with customers if they cheat you out on money and then call you a "Jerk." Dean said he had it coming; Lisa looked at him as if he was crazy and was less affectionate towards him since then. Maybe Dean was crazy.

Dean picked up the last of the dirty plates and forks and thought I thought in a few years this what Sammy's future would be and the familiar cold pain came back and just as sharp as always. It always loved to appear when something reminded him of Sam, and something always reminded him of Sammy.

Dean finished the table as quickly as possible. When he was finished, he called "I'm done," and headed to the cabinet in the living room.

"If you are going to drink whisky, I would prefer if you drank it outside," called Lisa tiredly.

Dean paused, pondering to perhaps not take the bottle for Lisa's sake and all she has done for him, but then he remembered that sharp, cold pain that never seemed to leave and Dean grabbed the bottle anyways.

Dean headed to the porch with his prized possession and sat on his favourite chair. How many nights he had passed out here... waking up with drool on his hand and a blanket over him which was no doubt given to him by Lisa. Lisa was too good for him. Lisa always seemed to be confused on why it was taking Dean so long to recover. Sure, losing a family member is insanely difficult, but people lose them all the time and they usually get better over time. But not Dean. Dean still waits on the porch, drinking his whisky, waiting for the day a nerd angel will come bring him his gigantor, geeky brother back with a large bruise on his shoulder but none the less fine. They would bicker and fight, but he would be there.

Dean slightly smiled but then it faded as quickly as it came. Sammy was not coming back. He was in Hell with Lucifer; getting god knows what done to him. And Dean was here, in one of the loveliest houses he had ever seen, living the apple pie life. Now on what planet was that fair?

Dean threw his glass as far as he could and then it hit a nearby tree with a loud crash. A neighbour opened his window to tell his alcoholic ass to shut up but Dean didn't care. He never cared.

Just then the temperature seemed to have gotten several degrees colder. His Hunter instincts being alerted, he then looked up at the streetlights and sure enough they were flickering like no tomorrow.

Oh shit.

Dean was tempted to get some rock salt and blow this motherfucker away right on the spot but Dean didn't know where to start nor what he was dealing with. Dean could always call another hunter... No. Dean may not be a hunter anymore, and he was also too fucked up to even think about hunting, but while he couldn't help treating Lisa and Ben way less than they deserve, he would not let them be in danger from something that was once his area of expertise.

Watch out fucker cause' Dean is temporarily back in the game.

TBC