Title: 1 AM.
Summary: Kakashi sighs as he hangs up his ANBU mask and wonders if he'll ever be free. Onshot. Kakashi-centric. No pairings. Mild angst.
Disclaimer: Naruto (c) not me.
»»»«««
It's 1 AM. In the morning. But that's redundant, to say the least. Every genin has already been taught not to waste words. And experienced ninja have long fell into the habit. They do it unconsciously, as another part of their lives.
It's 1 AM, and Kakashi rolls out of bed silently. He would have fought the urge to groan in frustration and a fair bit of irritableness in another life--but he was a ninja, and ninja knew better than to make a sound. A whisper of wind could make the difference between life or death; peace or war; success or failure.
It's 1 AM, and Kakashi gets out of bed in the middle of the night because he has sensed a chakra signature. More specifically, he had gotten out of bed because he didn't want to die. Yet. Not that his life was overly interesting, but he was still useful to the village. Kakashi would fight to his last breath and die when a sacrifice was needed.
It's 1 AM, and Kakashi pulls out a kunai with one hand and is channeling chakra to his other hand in case he needs it. He hopes not; his latest mission has taken a toll on him and he wouldn't mind a rest. But he is a ninja, and he will fight for his life until it is time to die.
It's 1 AM, and there is a messenger bird perched calmly on Kakashi's windowsill. Kakashi almost sighs in relief, because there is no one to fight; no forthcoming battle that will drench his poor apartment in bitter blood. But there is a mission. An ANBU mission.
It's 1 AM. Kakashi stalks over to the bird and calmly disattaches the scroll from its leg. It doesn't move. Perplexing, becaue the bird usually flies off. Kakashi doesn't mind it: the scroll will explain everything. He dissolves the seal with a touch of his chakra-infused hand and unravels it.
It's 1 AM. Kakashi's single eye scans the scroll. He frowns in discontentment, but says nothing. He only nods in agreement and waves the bird off.
It's still 1 AM. Kakashi lets out a long, heavy sigh and moves towards the room, the room in his apartment that he used to store everything that brought up bad memories - Obito, Rin, and Yondaime's stuff. And, more recently, Sasuke and Naruto's stuff. ANBU stuff. The last time he had been in this room was when he deposited his Team 7 memories. Locked them away in his mind just like he did the room.
1 AM. The clock in the living room is merrily ticking away. Sakura had given it to him the day the team disbanded, two years ago. She was a full-time medic nin now. Just like Rin would have been.
It's almost 2 AM. Kakashi can tell. He was raised to be a shinobi from the age of five, and shinobi knew these things.
But it's still 1 AM. It's 1 AM on October 10th, two years to the day and hour since the order to disband Team 7 was given. It was, and is, Naruto's birthday. Kakashi would still remember his face when he found out. A perfect expression of dispair and pain reflected in those clear blue eyes.
It's 1 AM on October 10th. Two years to the day since he last set foot in this room. It was clean and sterile. It was organized. Kakashi forced himself to walk inside, glancing around. The room was like a timeline of his life. Obito. Death. Mourning. ANBU. Death. Mourning. Team 7. Betrayal. Death. Mourning.
It was a fucking pattern.
It was 1 AM, and yet, Kakashi's mind was perfectly clear. It didn't take him more than a second to locate the pile of ANBU equipment that had been adbandoned years ago. How long had it been? Kakashi could hardly remember. It was buried under a thick layer of dust.
It was five to two. Kakashi lifted the top of the box and reached in to get his ANBU equipment. A bit dusty, but still in perfect condition. ANBU gear was made to last.
Two minutes to two. Kakashi had pulled on his ANBU uniform and strapped on his katana sheath. He had sharpened his katana so that it cut through his old kitchen table (which was falling apart anyway) with fairly no resistance. He had found a fresh supply of kunai and shurikan and ninja stars to take with him. He had relocked the room and he had locked away the memories in his mind.
It's 2 AM. Kakashi has left his apartment. He has arrived at the main gate out of Konoha for his solo ANBU mission--the first since, well, he couldn't remember. But he still trained with ANBU periodically. He was still up-to-date on the new recruits and who died and who resigned.
It's just past 2 AM. And just because most people are asleep and dreaming this early in the morning, it doesn't mean Kakashi is. His brain is alert and thinking, just like it always is. Realizing the full meaning of the oath he took so many years ago. That until he died, he would be part of the ANBU because no one truly resigned. Because, eventually, everyone would be called back into service. And he had known this - of course, Kakashi had known this since the day he was sworn into ANBU. Just like he knew that Sasuke was going to defect, and exactly how many years--and days--since it had been since he had been asked to "leave" ANBU. Like everything else in the room, he had locked this information away in his mind because it was so much easier not to think of it. He had known that the messenger bird was there in case he wanted to refuse the request to rejoin ANBU. And he had known that there would come a day when he would be required to take up ANBU missions again.
Kakashi would serve the ANBU until he died or forfeited his headband.
It's 2 AM, and Kakashi is gone.