Rating: T
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended; these characters belong to NCIS and NCIS LA. I own nothing.
Pairing: Leroy Jethro Gibbs/ Lara Macy
I hope you enjoy, leave reviews if you like.
***WS***
Lara Macy watched them leave on CCTV.
He had hardly acknowledged her all day, and his goodbye smile on the TV somehow cheapened things further.
What a day it had been; she felt tension in her neck, sat down behind her desk and rested her head in her hands.
God, you spend years and years in the privacy of your own head contemplating what it would be like to see that certain someone again, and then that day suddenly arrives, and what? Today she had learned that nothing could have prepared her for it, because these very complicated issues had a tendency of taking on a life of their own. She had barely recognized herself all day, let alone him.
The truth was, of course, she had never stopped wondering what it would be like, and now that all was said and done, she wasn't sure what exactly she had expected in the first place. Had she really been so naïve to think the universe would rearrange itself, or that everything would come full circle should they ever meet again? It was so ridiculous, she laughed at herself; and it hurt. What a fool she had been. She had been a fool back then, and she had been a fool today, and she had been a fool the 100 years in between.
A knock on the door made her open her eyes.
She looked up at Nate, slowly approaching her desk.
"You okay?" he asked carefully, and she didn't know if she wanted to shout at him to go away, or to break down and weep.
His eyes tried to penetrate her skull, looking for all those things he knew she was not telling him, a realization that brought her to her senses again slightly.
She cleared her throat: "Yes, fine. Just finishing up."
"You don't look fine," Nate said and took a seat.
She opened a drawer and got out a stack of files. "I'm fine, Nate, thanks for your concern, it is appreciated."
"Okay." he said, and must have known that the conversation was over already. He smiled, or was it a grimace, and got up to leave.
"Mace, I'll be at my desk for a while," he let her know, and she gave him an honest smile this time.
As soon as she was alone again she closed her eyes. Even her hair hurt. She got up, paced the room, released her ponytail and massaged her scalp.
Three seconds later she heard footsteps outside, and just when she was certain Nate was approaching to subject her to grilling of the day number three, she heard a second set of footsteps walking at a much faster pace.
"Wait, you can't just go in there."
She turned around, and Gibbs entered the office, followed by Nate.
"Sorry, Mace." Nate apologized, like it was his fault.
"You, out!" Gibbs ordered him. Nate took a few confused steps backwards into the hallway, Gibbs shut the door in his face and locked it.
"Who is that guy?" Gibbs said, obviously annoyed, the question directed at the Universe, and not specifically at her, keeping in mind he knew full well who Nate was. Gibbs continued:"And what the hell did you tell him?"
Macy exhaled audibly. This whole thing had suddenly become a whole lot more complicated.
"Gibbs, what are you doing here?"
"I want to know what you told him."
"You should be at the airport."
"Lara, there are flights tomorrow," Gibbs said and shook his head like it was the most ridiculous thing she had ever said to him, "and I want to know what you have told him."
"I told him... half the truth."
"Half a truth, Lara..." he asked, and held up his arms sideways.
"I know, ...is the worst lie."
Gibbs looked at her, and she did not appreciate the way it made her feel. She was a grown-up woman, she made her own choices, she did not need his approval, and she certainly would not let his criticism ruin her day any further..
"Why?" he asked in response.
"Why, why, why. Why does it matter, Gibbs? It's 100 years ago."
"It might not matter to you, but it matters to me. Why did you have to say anything at all?"
She felt anger in the pit of her stomach, and in an ideal world she would have thrown something heavy in the direction of his head.
"Because I am not like you, Gibbs. I can't just pretend I never met you, and I can't pretend that today did not confuse me." she said louder than anticipated.
He put his hands in his pockets and looked up at the ceiling.
"Nate is a good guy, we have known each other for a very long time, and anyway, Gibbs, do you think people weren't aware of the big elephant in the room today? Do you really think they are that ignorant? I had to give him something."
Gibbs smiled almost to himself and looked at his feet.
"Yeah, we probably should have had this argument first thing." his voice was quiet now, almost soft, and she tried to ignore it.
The sun was setting quickly, and the room was bathed in twilight. She had always dreamt of having a screaming row with him, but this wasn't as satisfying as anticipated. She had nothing else to say, and she couldn't look at him.
"Damnit, Lara," he finally said,"I wasn't prepared."
She couldn't stifle a small laugh.
"What's funny?"
"I have had that exact thought all day." she admitted.
Gibbs smiled, "Do you think that clown is listening?"
Macy looked towards the door and shook her head. It wasn't Nate's style.
Gibbs took a seat.
"How long has it been? Lara?" he asked quietly.
"You don't remember? 100 years." she replied and it sounded too harsh for a throw-away line.
"Feels like it." Gibbs said and looked at her.
"No, it doesn't." Not to her, anyway. It felt like yesterday, and she hated that.
Silence fell between them again, and for a few heartbeats she forgot where she was.
Gibbs pinched the bridge of his nose, a gesture she recognized from back then.
It had been a long day for everyone.
Macy took a deep breath and exhaled. She would walk away from this right now. She would not have an argument about what she should or should not have told Nate, and she would most certainly not allow herself to become nostalgic.
"I'm leaving, Gibbs," she said and walked to her desk. He stopped her in her tracks by stepping into her space.
"Let me look at you," he said, and he added her name which she heard roll off his tongue softly, "Lara."
"Don't," she warned and reached for her bag. Then things happened very fast. She felt him grab her by the shoulders so hard that it hurt, and next thing she knew Gibbs had lifted her onto the desk, and the look on his face indicated he was as surprised by his bold action as she was.
His eyes found her mouth, breaking the ultimate taboo, and she knew then that it was too late.
She knew what she had known all day, what she had known for the past 100 years: if push came to shove, she would go there again, and again, and again; despite it all.
His lips claimed hers hungrily, and she felt a sharp pain in her gut from the sheer pleasure of it. Of course she knew she wasn't over him, but she had been lying to herself for so long, that she had almost convinced herself.
She was being lowered into a horizontal position, and before she could protest, he cleared the desk with one forceful sweep. Pens, folders, papers, things went everywhere, crashing to the ground. She didn't care.
"You haven't changed," he whispered against her lips softly when they came apart.
"I have." she stated, but she knew it was a lie.
"You do to me now what you did to me then." he clarified, and went in for another kiss that made the hair on her neck stand up.
"I hate you." she said, and completed that statement with a soft moan.
Again, and again he kissed her, and she knew she was going to go out of her mind with wanting him. He fumbled with her blouse, desperate to get more skin on skin contact.
A strong knock on the door pulled them back into reality.
Macy was so startled, she knocked the one remaining item off her desk. The lamp fell onto the floor with a loud crash.
"Shit," she said, and pushed Gibbs away.
"You okay, Mace?" It was Nate.
"I hate that guy," Gibbs mumbled, brushed his hand over his face, and went to open the door. The light streaming in from the hallway rudely intruded.
"Can we help you? Nate?" Gibbs asked, and Nate peeked past him into the dark office. Macy avoided his eyes, and busied herself with picking things off of the floor.
"I only wanted to say that I am leaving," he stood there, and when no response came, he added, "See you tomorrow?"
"Okay, thanks, see you tomorrow," Macy finally replied, putting the lamp back.
Gibbs looked at Nate and smiled through squinted eyes.
Macy knew she would have to face the music and at least look at him. She gave him a smile, and it bothered her to see disappointment written all over his face. So what of it? She hadn't told him the whole truth, and now he had caught them red-handed. Everyone would live, and besides, she certainly didn't owe Nate an explanation.
Without another word Nate walked away, and she appreciated that. She would deal with him tomorrow. He would understand...
She proceeded tidying up, and she knew Gibbs was watching her. She felt a perfect mess, inside and out. Her hair was ruffled, her blouse was half hanging out of her pants, she felt stubble rash all across her face, her neck, her heart was beating out of her chest, and she was drunk on adrenaline.
"We were never good at talking." Gibbs finally commented, and she stopped to look at him.
"No."
"I have a problem," he continued.
"One?" she asked and searched the floor for any stray pens.
"I missed my flight, and I am expected to fill out one of those expense forms."
"So, what are you going to do about it?"
"Well, I thought I book a hotel, and then I take you out to dinner. And we talk."
She locked her drawers and didn't look up or acknowledge what had been said to her. Maybe if she ignored him, he would go away.
"Oh come on, Lara, after 100 years you can't even have dinner with me?"
She smiled, and shook her head: "Gibbs, we are way past dinner, already."
"I was way past dinner the moment I saw you again." he said, and her cheeks felt even hotter. She knew what he was saying, and she hated that he was right. What a difference would dinner make now? They were back in the same place they had left each other in all those years ago. Except that today, he had come back.
"Let's get out of here." she decided, "We'll go to my apartment, you can book a hotel on line, and I can have a shower. A cold one."
"Sounds like a plan," he nodded and followed her out of the office.
"It sounds like a catastrophe in the making," she replied quietly, and Gibbs allowed himself a heartfelt laugh.