Shadow of the Day
Chapter 1
AN: this is the prequel focussing on Berwald and Matthias before the thing, over two years (making this story 2005) before Matthias and Lukas meet (DADbot/ Don't be Afraid of the Dark) and over seven before Berwald and Tino (Whispers in the Dark- to be posted eventually). Carry on.
...
At the electronic beep droning, a hand clumsily searched for his glasses. The minuscule daily panic made his pulse uneven until his fingertips brushed the cool metal frames. Finally able to breathe and see, Berwald rolled to his feet and shut the alarm off before his sister woke up. Readjusting the cushions and tucking in his blankets on the couch, he snatched fresh clothes from the plastic drawers and went into their apartment's bathroom. He grimaced before disrobing and stepping into the cramped space, pinned beneath the cold water. He avoided using their limited hot water. Svana was a lady, she needed the bed and needed warm water, above all she was his younger sister. He tried not to knock over her little bottles, working to wash as quick as he could blindly. He was grateful when he could finally (eight minutes after getting in) stumble out. He clawed along the wall for the hook he'd set his glasses on and then found his towel. Half-dried, he dressed and began brushing his teeth. Today was Tuesday. He had to wake up Svana so she'd get to class on time. Meeting with his manager. The afternoon was freed up for carving and studying. Get to class at eight. Get home at one. Wake up at seven tomorrow to work without his boss breathing down his neck while he sketched. Come home and study. It didn't sound too bad.
"Sv'na!" He knocked on the door. "Sv'na!"
His bedhead ridden sister peeked through her door.
"Morning Ber." She grumbled. "Yes, I'm going. Yes, I'll get to class on time. Have fun at work."
"'ll drive ya 'f ya wan'. Th're's time." Berwald offered.
"Nah. Arthur's picking me up. Later Ber!" She called and slammed the door in his face.
He really hated that Arthur. Jaw clenched, he stalked away, grabbing an apple as he took the concrete stairs two at a time to reach the beat up scrap they called a car and drive into town.
…
Berwald was a tall man, but he couldn't help but feel small next to Kohler's buildings. He rushed through the doors and reached his "office", a sectioned off part of the fifth floor not too far from the cubicles. Some would pull a face at the seemingly unfavorable situation but Berwald knew he had nothing to complain about. He'd been paid commissions for his sketches and carpentry designs before being hired. He had no post degrees to his name (yet. That was the purpose of the night school.) but had received a position well qualified graduates fought for. Berwald Oxensteirna had the strangest luck.
He took the hidden stairwell to the office administrator's office, straightened his clothes and knocked on the door. He was called in after a few minutes of awkwardly standing in front of the door.
"W'nted ta see m' , sir?" Berwald mumbled, hating his voice more than usual as he shuffled toward the chopping block.
"Yes, Oxensteirna," Mr. Beilschmidt nodded absently while shuffling through some documents at his desk.
"Hm." Berwald waited to be spoken to. It'd be less painful on the situation if he avoided speaking until spoken to.
"Your designs-" Ludwig started, flipping through Berwald's portfolio. Berwald's heart leapt into his throat and he fidgeted nervously. "-are very good. Approved all across the board. Keep up the good work."
Berwald released the breath he was holding. "Th'nk ya."
Ludwig gave a nod. " Now, I have a message requesting your presence in Kohler's office. He'll only be here for a few meetings before returning to the hospital so be quick about it."
"'Ospit'l?"
"Yes. Now go."
Berwald turned on his heel and found the next stairwell to Kohler's private quarters.
…
"Mornin' Berwald!" Mr. Kohler hollered, looking genuinely pleased to see him.
It was a rather rare occurrence for the Swede, seeing someone look happy to see him. Anders had taken him in personally after meeting him in the school's shop garage one afternoon while Berwald was finishing a rocking chair. Kohler was too nice it seemed, like the man would be walked over. That clearly wasn't the case, seeing as Berwald was standing in his building.
"M'rnin', Sir." He tried not looking like he wanted to maim someone. Berwald wasn't a violent or angry person, he just looked like it. Other than when he would walk home alone from a worse part of town did it ever prove useful.
"Got a sec, Berwald?"
He nodded.
"Good. Well ya see, I've got a son that I've been meaning to get out here so he can learn the ropes. Ya know, get used to runnin' the business. Anyways, you'd be the closest in age to him. Yer only twenty unless I missed a birthday. He's sixteen so not too bad. Would you mind if he followed you around for a few days every coupl'a weeks when he's in town? I'd be doing me a huge favor."
Not as if he could say no. He thought back to being sixteen. Bad. Bad idea. He'd spent his sixteenth birthday getting his eyes checked again. His present was the new pair of glasses that had shattered 7 months later... After the hockey game he amended. It wasn't a lie. It was after the hockey game. Just not from playing hockey. How could he manage a teenager and sketch at the same time?
"'F course, sir."
"Thank ya, Berwald. He'll be joinin' ya Monday then."
"...'re ya 'lright, sir?"
"Yeah. I'm alright now. Just have to watch my health a bit more. Nothing to worry 'bout." Anders told him with a weary smile.
Berwald nodded lamely, not buying it. "Okej. 'S that all sir?"
"Thank ya Berwald. Have a nice day."
Berwald nodded at the dismissal and took the 7 flights of stairs back down to his office and began idly sketching between the light throbs in his gut.
He rocked back in his chair to scope around his massive cubicle before sneakily eating his sandwich. He cleaned up and walked out, wandering around the lot. Getting into his scrap metal, he fumbled for his cell phone. Making sure he didn't have any voice mail (he never did- save for that woman who called on the ninth of every month with the wrong number) he closed the small device and slipped it into his pocket. He pulled away and watched the lights carefully, waiting for the middle to flash. He and the cars around him slowed to a stop with the next light change. He continued looking around, mindful of the light. He hated when people honked at him when he double checked the lights.
Green light. Red light. They were merely names for the weird spectrum of shades, a mix of murky mustard hues. He groaned when the honking began. He was trying not to cause an accident. He made it to their crappy apartment in one piece, cursed the cheap seats for hurting his back and came back into the room. He flipped open his textbooks, deciding to try the medical book again. He struggled to decipher the diagrams in such a poor choice of color. Berwald decided to go off of the words and ask if Svana would be able to paint a few of the pictures so he could see what they were, or at least make the outlines noticeable. After some deliberation he slumped on his bed (their couch) and set the kitchen timer to wake him up at six.
...
The ring made him jump and fall out off the couch. He scrambled on the floor and began gingerly patting the carpet for his glasses. The frames were pushed up the bridge of his nose suddenly, making his first focused sight his sister rolling her eyes.
"Blind as a bat." She scoffed and left him to pull himself up.
"C'n I 'sk a favor?"
"I am not going to the hardware store for another stupid hammer."
"N'thin' like that. Paintin'."
"Painting!" That had sparked the art student's interest.
"Ja. C'n't read m' books v'ry well. Could ya paint some'f th'diagr'ms s'I can see 'em?"
"Painting your books?"
"Ja. I can't see th'colors 'nd can't tell th'd'ffrences."
She pursed her lips in contemplation before nodding.
"How soon?"
"J'st wh'nev'r ya get 'round ta it."
"I'll have to do it in sections over the next couple weeks. Is that okay?"
"Ja. Th'nkya." His jaw felt funny talking so much. He checked the clock. "Ya good f'r th'night?"
"I'm not a kid. Of course I'll be fine."
He shot her his best older brother look of disapproval and left.
...
Chapter 13: The Circulatory System
The Circulatory System is comprised of...
Fantastic. The book would put him to sleep faster than any medication. Berwald preferred the figures and dissections to reading for the sake visualization. He did not miss the irony in that. The near-blind color receptor-deficient visual learner.
He'd decided that with the mild colorblindness and legal blindness sans glasses, as well as the speech difficulties, he should not deal with patients. But he could build. He could sketch. He could empathize. He wondered if it'd be worth pursuing prosthetics work, physical therapy even. Proud that he had a plan, he smirked to himself, making his lab partner flinch.
...
Alarm buzzing, he sat and located his glasses. He'd be meeting the younger Kohler today. He stumbled through his routine, woke up Svana before rushing out the door to his scrap metal. He reached his "office" early and neurotically cleaned again (for the third time in 24 hours though he never left a mess) before there was a knock on the wall.
Anders stood with a hand on the shoulder of a distracted teenager, earbuds in and hair in disarray. From his face, the brat clearly did not particularly want to be there.
"This here's m'son Matthias." Anders introduced.
The youth pulled the cords, letting the headphones dangle around his neck while he lazily strolled forward with a hand outstretched.
"'Sup?"
Berwald shook his hand, the smaller's face contorted with confusion before shrugging. "Whatever."
"Don't be rude Matthias," Anders chided. "This is Berwald, you'll be shadowing him for the next few months. Be respectful."
The two looked at Anders, who quickly excused himself.
"Sooooooo..." The teenager drawled.
Berwald looked over the male and quickly turned, pulling out a sketchbook and charcoal.
"What? You don't talk?" Matthias chortled.
"N't r'lly. Gunna b'probl'm?"
Matthias snorted before falling over with laughter.
"The hell! Your voice! You can't talk! Oh man! What happened to ya! Say something else!"
Berwald groaned and inattentively sketched while the idiot behind him cackled and his back ached.
Berwald had always had an odd way with luck.
...
Characters as far as I remember:
•Anders Kohler (OC- static) I hate OCs but Matthias needed a father.
•Svana Oxensteirna (OC- static) why the hell did I give Berwald a sister? My gosh I hate OCs but I needed her as a plot device. She isn't femsweden. I really don't know what she looks like, other than she's blond, blue eyed and glasses-less, so up to you.
•Matthias's mom- (OC-static) she's just there so Matthias has a mom. I don't even want to give the bitch a name. So that's up to you too.
•Berwald Oxensteirna- one of the main POV. I am so sorry Berwald. I really am. But I was hurting and other people were hurting so the plot turned out much sadder than before. This is why I shouldn't be allowed to write when things suck. This is far from my best but I can't figure out how to change the beginning. These stories are writing themelves.
•Matthias Kohler- other main. We already know what's going to happen to them.
•Ludwig the manager guy -static
•Arthur. Boyfriend to Berwald's little sister- static/ plot device
•Abel. Matthias's friend- static. *Edit*- plays bigger part than anticipated. Oh well.
•other random little teenaged shits- static and annoying.
And now we have the first chapter of the prequel. I'm not risking it so it's rated as such so I don't get murdered. I was asked by someone to wait on the prequel- but I couldn't, I discovered how much I love writing Berwald and my muse was aching and I changed the storyline a bit so unless you're freaking Sherlock and can observe you won't catch "spoilers" too badly.
Berwald's colorblind?
Yes, dear question asker. He is. Why? ~6% of the male population has some form of color blindness versus ~.4% of females. Colorblindness rarely means the whole monochrome you may think it does. There are a few different types, red-green colorblindness being the most common.
Berwald is not completely red-green colorblind because he is not complete red or green cone-less. Why? Answers forth coming. But he has fewer cones- and I may be completely bullshitting here (I'm not a doctor- but midrant that I've cut down to spare you my wrath-if anyone here ever wants medical information on conditions or medical protocol for a fic PM me or leave a review and I'll answer in a note after the chapter. Please. I'm dead serious I will go to the ends of the earth to help you. I would rather someone have the information than completely get something wrong and deface the imperfect systems we have. I've read some fics and have to suppress this horrid rage when something is just... Argh. I've spent lots of times in hospitals, etc both as a patient and as a shadow as well as people who work in different fields. So I have resources available should there be questions. And I shall be injecting bits of medical knowledge in these stories because I'm just that much of a nerd.
So yeah. Any questions- let me know. If I can't immediately give you the answers I'll find you someone/something that does... Close that rant)
- but because of what caused his colorblindness not all of the cones were destroyed/removed- and here comes possible bullshit because I could not find a specific answer (though number of cones/receptors affect spectrums computable)- the procedures left violets and purples the brightest/most noticeable colors to Berwald. Why did I do that?
Let's see. Who will show up (cough- and be main POV- cough) in Whispers in the Dark that would make that color relevant, especially for Berwald? Hmmm... Nevermind that I've previously stated that the stories'll be Dennor and Sufin except for this one- which'll be focussing on Matthias and Berwald prior to their shade-bromance you see/will see in DADbot/Don't be Afraid of the Dark.
The title is ripped off of the Linkin Park song. I'd recommend listening to it- but it came on pandora while I was planning what to do with Berwald and I just lost it for a bit. I sat in a corner apologizing for what I'm going to do to him. I was inspired by life story doesn't really have a happy ending, hence the two stories afterwards to make up for this.
But the song really fits for him in the situation and will make sense later, well some parts of it. I'm still angsting and upset at myself on poor Berwald's behalf.
" I close both locks below the window
I close both blinds and turn away
Sometimes solutions aren't so simple
Sometimes goodbye's the only way…
And the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you
And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
And the sun will set for you"
Next chapter is Matthias POV... And Matthias is not a very 'good' kid I guess you could say. Adult themes, etc. that sorta thing. There was a reason I named him Matthias Andersson Kohler. MAK. As in Mac daddy Denmark. If you don't get it go read the note at the bottom of chapter 4 in DADbot.
Okay. That note was way longer than I had wanted it to be. Questions? Comments? Let me know. Sorry I've been gone. Rant can be found on Chapter 10 of DADbot. Thanks for sticking around.
-Waltz