A/N: I took some text and dialogue from Eclipse, obviously. I don't own these characters, or plot, or any part of the beauty that Stephenie Meyer created.
This is the meadow scene from near the end of chapter 27, after Bella agrees to let Alice do her wedding.
The meadow was a peaceful, happy place today. Patches of summer daisies interrupted the grass with splashes of white and yellow. I lay back, ignoring the slight dampness of the ground, and looked for pictures in the clouds. They were too even, too smooth. No pictures, just a soft, gray blanket.
Edward lay next to me and held my hand.
"August thirteenth?" he asked casually after a few minutes of comfortable silence.
"That gives me a month till my birthday. I didn't want to cut it too close."
He sighed. "Esme is three years older than Carlisle — technically. Did you know that?"
I shook my head.
"It hasn't made any difference to them."
My voice was serene, a counterpoint to his anxiety. "My age is not really that important. Edward, I'm ready. I've chosen my life — now I want to start living it." He stroked my hair. "The guest list veto?" "I don't care really, but I . . ." I hesitated, not wanting to explain this one. Best to get it over with. "I'm not sure if Alice would feel the need to invite . . . a few werewolves. I don't know if . . . Jake would feel like . . . like heshould come. Like that's the right thing to do, or that I'd get my feelings hurt if he didn't. He shouldn't have to go through that."
Edward was quiet for a minute. I stared at the tips of the treetops, almost black against the light gray of the sky.
Suddenly, Edward grabbed me around the waist and pulled me onto his chest. "Tell me why you're doing this, Bella. Why did you decide, now, to give Alice free reign?"
I repeated for him the conversation I had with Charlie last night before I'd gone to see Jacob.
"It wouldn't be fair to keep Charlie out of this," I concluded. "And that means Renée and Phil. I might as well let Alice have her fun, too. Maybe it will make the whole thing easier for Charlie if he gets his proper goodbye. Even if he thinks it's much too early, I wouldn't want to cheat him out of the chance to walk me down the aisle." I grimaced at the words, then took another deep breath. "At least my mom and dad and my friends will know the best part of my choice, the most I'm allowed to tell them. They'll know I chose you, and they'll know we're together. They'll know I'm happy, wherever I am. I think that's the best I can do for them."
Edward held my face, searching it for a brief time.
"Deal's off," he said abruptly.
"What?" I gasped. "You're backing out? No!"
"I'm not backing out, Bella. I'll still keep my side of the bargain. But you're off the hook. Whatever you want, no strings attached."
"Why?"
"Bella, I see what you're doing. You're trying to make everyone else happy. And I don't care about anyone else's feelings. I only need you to be happy. Don't worry about breaking the news to Alice. I'll take care of it. I promise she won't make you feel guilty."
"But I —"
"No. We're doing this your way. Because my way doesn't work. I call you stubborn, but look at what I've done. I've clung with such idiotic obstinacy to my idea of what's best for you, though it's only hurt you. Hurt you so deeply, time and time again. I don't trust myself anymore. You can have happiness your way. My way is always wrong. So." He shifted under me, squaring his shoulders. "We're doing it your way, Bella. Tonight. Today. The sooner the better. I'll speak to Carlisle. I was thinking that maybe if we gave you enough morphine, it wouldn't be so bad. It's worth a try." He gritted his teeth.
"Edward, no —"
He put his finger to my lips. "Don't worry, Bella, love. I haven't forgotten the rest of your demands."
His hands were in my hair, his lips moving softly — but very seriously — against mine, before I realized what he was saying. What he was doing.
There wasn't much time to act. If I waited too long, I wouldn't be able to remember why I needed to stop him. Already, I couldn't breathe right. My hands were gripping his arms, pulling myself tighter to him, my mouth glued to his and answering every unspoken question his asked.
I tried to clear my head, to find a way to speak.
He rolled gently, pressing me into the cool grass.
Oh, never mind! my less noble side exulted. My head was full of the sweetness of his breath. No, no, no,I argued with myself. I shook my head, and his mouth moved to my neck, giving me a chance to breathe.
"Stop, Edward. Wait." My voice was as weak as my will.
"Why?" he whispered into the hollow of my throat.
I labored to put some resolve into my tone. "I don't want to do this now."
"Don't you?" he asked, a smile in his voice. He moved his lips back to mine and made speaking impossible. Heat coursed through my veins, burning where my skin touched his.
I made myself focus. It took a great deal of effort just to force my hands to free themselves from his hair, to move them to his chest. But I did it. And then I shoved against him, trying to push him away. I could not succeed alone, but he responded as I knew he would.
He pulled back a few inches to look at me, and his eyes did nothing to help my resolve. They were black fire. They smoldered.
"Why?" he asked again, his voice low and rough. "I love you. I want you. Right now."
The butterflies in my stomach flooded my throat. He took advantage of my speechlessness. I'd never seen him so full of desire. The hunger in his eyes tightened the muscles deep in my stomach. My resolve slowly melted away as I began to feel warm where I felt him between my legs. His body was hard, as usual, but I could feel every line as he pressed himself against me closer than he ever had, and by the kisses he placed on my neck I was not left wondering whether he wanted to get closer.
He brought his mouth back up to mine and tasted my lips with his tongue, parting them, searching for mine. At this point, I'd forgotten why I wanted him to stop. I could only remember why I had made this a demand in the first place. I was burning with desire, and I wanted him to keep going.
He continued to kiss me, but I could tell he was being careful. He slid his hand down my ribs, and then back up, this time under the hem of my shirt, the cold skin of his hand on mine made me shiver. His hand moved to my breast, and my breath hitched in my throat. This was uncharted territory, my heart hammered under his hand in response to his touch.
What thrilled me most was that he was hard, and I could feel it, really feel it, on the inside of my thigh where his jeans were straining in protest. He had never let things get this far, I had never been witness to physical signs of his desire; so careful was he to push me away before things got too intense. For him, at least.
He slid his hand back down to the hem of my shirt and pulled back to look at me while his fingers grabbed the thin fabric. "Is this okay?" he breathed, the black fire in his eyes burned brighter, if that was possible.
Anything he did to me right now was okay. I wanted to say that, but I didn't want to push my luck, half expecting him to bring this to a screeching halt at any moment. So I just whispered, "Yes."
He sat up, brought me up with him and pulled the shirt over my head. I was suddenly a little embarrassed. I wished I'd worn a prettier bra than the plain nude one I had on. I'd never been so exposed to him, and I crossed my arms to try and hide myself.
Edward grabbed my wrists, uncrossing my arms and placed them around his neck. "No Bella, you're beautiful."
I watched his eyes on my breasts, drinking me in, and I flushed through and through. With insecurity from the exposure, but pleasure from knowing by the look on his face, Edward liked what he saw.
Edward sat back and brought me into his lap, having me straddle his waist. He kissed my neck, moving his lips down from my collarbone to the tops of my breasts, turning the skin his lips touched to gooseflesh. His hands reached around my back, finding the clasp of my bra. I gasped. He unhooked the clasp but caught the fabric before it fell away from my back. "Do you not want this?" He whispered in my ear, very persuasively planting kisses from my neck to my shoulder after he finished his question.
Did I ever not want this? I was breathing way too hard, my heart was beating way too fast, the heat between my legs was way too hot, and I couldn't think of a time I had ever wanted this more. "Yes I want this," I almost-moaned. I blushed again, embarrassed.
He let go of the fabric, and I let the bra slide off my shoulders. My stomach was in knots as his fingers slid back around my ribs to my side. He brought his mouth back to mine then, as one hand trailed up to trace the line of my bare breast. His skin was ice on mine. He kissed me deeper and his light touches continued to make me shiver as he took my breast into his hand, gently massaging—trying to be careful.
I realized I was completely bare-chested and he was still fully clothed. While he kissed me I grabbed the bottom of his sweater and tugged it upward. He knew what I wanted and immediately complied, pulling off the sweater along with the shirt he wore underneath it. The perfection of his body still took my breath away, and he let me run my hands down the lines of his muscled chest and abdomen. I pushed him down onto the grass, straddling him still as I moved my lips down to the base of his throat. I licked the skin there, enjoying its sweet taste as I kissed down the center line of his body.
I was just to his belly button when he sucked in his breath, "Bella," he exhaled, voice saturated with desire.
I looked up at his face and found his eyes twisted shut, clear that he was trying to control himself. I was thrilled to know I was having this effect on him. My fingers skimmed down his navel, catching the waistband of his jeans. His eyes snapped open, and he all but threw me onto my back as he took his place back between my legs, hovering over me.
His black fire eyes were pure desire, and he conveyed that in the words he hissed in my ear. "I need you. Right now."
The words sent the butterflies rushing back to the very pit of my stomach. I couldn't breathe as both of his hands moved to undo the buckle of my belt.
I was suddenly very, very nervous. My arousal was painful, and lust-filled adrenaline coursed my body, but I wasn't sure I wanted to do this quite yet. My hand caught his before he could get to the button on my jeans, and he looked at me. "Wait, Edward," I said.
He dropped his hand back to the ground to support himself over me, and the fire in his eyes softened a little bit. "What is it, love?" he replied.
"I don't know—I don't—I don't think that I'm ready… for that—for everything, just quite yet." I said sheepishly, blushing deeply. I looked away from him.
He caught my chin between his thumb and forefinger and forced me to look at him. Though I still saw in them desire, the fire was gone, replaced by the loving look I knew so well.
"It's okay, Bella, love. I was just trying to meet your demands. We will absolutely not go any further than you're ready to go."
"No, I'm sorry. I didn't know I wasn't ready. I guess… I guess I want to do this right after all. Everything in the right order. I want to marry you Edward. I'm following all the rules. Your soul is far, far too important to me to take chances with."
"Are you sure, Bella? Don't make this about me." He scrutinized my expression.
"This is what I need, Edward. I promise." I smiled at him, trying to convince him I was telling the truth.
He smiled back, wistful. "If you change your mind . . ."
"You'll be the first to know," I promised.
The rain started to drip through the clouds just then, a few scattered drops that made faint thuds as they struck the grass. I glowered at the sky. "I'll get you home." He brushed the tiny beads of water from my cheeks and handed me my clothes.
"Rain's not the problem," I grumbled. "It just means that it's time to go do something that will be very unpleasant and possibly even highly dangerous."
His eyes widened in alarm. "It's a good thing you're bulletproof." I sighed. "I'm going to need that ring. It's time to tell Charlie."
He laughed at the expression on my face. "Highly dangerous," he agreed. He laughed again and then reached into the pocket of his jeans. "But as least there's no need for a side trip."
He once again slid my ring into place on the third finger of my left hand. Where it would stay — conceivably for the rest of eternity.
A/N: Yeah, so, I don't know how people write lemons. I was pretty embarrassed just writing this. Baby steps I guess?
BASICALLY, back when I was 17 and innocent, I didn't go straight from barely making out, to everything, all the way, all at once. That would have terrified me.
Hope you enjoyed. ;)
