Take it easy on me, this is my first story.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I own nothing about Criminal Minds.

Rest for the Restless

They started to circle around him. All the people he couldn't save, everyone who had died because of him. But their faces were gone. Blank, only adding to the guilt that he couldn't even remember them. They started to chase him through the halls of the motel. Running as fast as he could, he tried to get away but the moment he turned the corner he saw them. Six people standing before him their faces slowly fading but not before he could recognize them. They were his team, his family. They stood before him, slowly bleeding out of gunshots that littered their bodies. He tried to move to help but he was frozen to the spot. As he finally went to catch his falling friends the others grabbed his shoulders and was forced to watch his family fall to the ground, their faces blank as they screamed for one person to help them. The name they screamed was Aaron Hotchner.

"Come on baby girl you know you want to come to my room with me." Morgan joked with Garcia as he walked down the motel hallway.

"Not tonight my chocolate god of thunder. I am way too tired from this case, I honestly wish you guys hadn't brought me." Garcia replied.

"Praise god, my room is right next to yours Morgan." Rossi replied with a smirk on his face.

The team of BAU profilers continued walking down the hall. It had been one of the rougher cases. They were called to Council Bluffs, Iowa to solve a string of kidnappings. Bringing along Garcia they were able to solve the case within four days and had decided to go out for a celebratory drink. Hotch had insisted on going back to his room, the dark bags under his eyes becoming more pronounced with each passing day. Pointing to the fact that he hadn't slept in weeks. Deciding to let him off the hook, the rest of the team had gone out for drinks and were now walking back to their rooms. As they were about to reach their rooms they heard a blood freezing scream from Hotch's room. Rossi instantly ran past them trying to open Hotch's door.

"Aaron!" Rossi screamed pounding on the door. "Aaron! Break the door down Morgan!" The team bursting into the room to find Hotch having a nightmare, writhing around in his bed, covered in sweat and screaming for help.

Rossi instantly ran to his side grabbing his shoulders trying to shake him awake. "Aaron! Aaron wake up it's only a dream! It's okay you're safe, I'm right here."

Hotch let out one more scream as they grabbed him, waking up to find his team staring at him again. But this time they had faces. Getting away from Rossi's grasp he instantly ran for the bathroom.

He stood in front of the mirror grasping the edges of the sink to try and stop the shaking. After a few minutes he was able to stop shaking and splash cold water on his face to try and stop the sweat falling from his brow. He knew he should go out and face his team, but he couldn't do it. He had shown weakness, letting them see his biggest fears and finding him screaming from something that wasn't even real. Eventually he got control of himself and put his stoic mask back on to try and turn their minds to a different direction.

Morgan stood there stunned to see his boss like that. He had never heard a scream so heartbreaking coming from a man who had nerves of steel and never gave up. The only thought that could go through his head is what had drove his boss so far over the edge that he would wake up screaming. Hearing someone clear their throat he turned to look at the bathroom noticing that Hotch looked the same as usual, except paler.

"I'm sorry," Hotch said starting to apologize. "I didn't mean to startle any of you. It was just a stupid dream go ahead and go back to your rooms. We have a long day of paperwork tomorrow."

"I don't think so Hotch. Something is eating you alive and you better share it before I drag it out of you." Rossi replied staring him right in the eyes.

Hotch only averted his eyes trying to ignore the six pairs staring back at him.

"Hotch man you have to talk to us. You can trust us, just open up for once, this isn't normal." Morgan tried.

"Of course it is! I haven't slept all night in over five months because of this nightmare so don't even start with me!" Hotch yelled sounding exasperated.

"Aaron please." Rossi begged. "Just talk to us, maybe we can help."

"There is nothing you can do! Everything that happens is always my fault! I am the leader! I should be able to stop it, but I can't! I can't save them all! No matter how hard I try." Hotch replied sinking to the floor and sobbing.

For a second no one moved. They wanted to know what was wrong but to see him sitting on the floor, crying and vulnerable, it was just wrong. Finally Rossi went and sat beside him gathering their Unit Chief into his arms.

"Aaron its okay. You can trust us. Just let it out." Rossi whispered.

After a few minutes everyone sat down near Hotch trying to give him silent support before he finally spoke. "It always starts with me just in a hotel hallway. Suddenly all these people surround me. As I look at all of them I just see blank faces. All the people I couldn't save and I can't even remember their faces. I try to get away but they chase me. I start turning corners everywhere running as fast as I can, until I turn the corner and see all of you." He said sobbing, grabbing onto Rossi's shirt with a death grip. Holding on as though his greatest fears might be true and he needs someone to anchor him to reality. "Your faces are starting to fade but I still recognize all of you. I see a puddle of blood on the ground and as I look up, I see gunshot wounds all over your bodies. I try to run and help all of you but I can't move. The others grab onto me and hold me in place as you start to fall to the ground. I try to get to all of you, but they are holding me too tight and you start screaming, asking me to help or why I didn't save you. Every night I am forced to watch all of you die and I can't take it anymore!" He cried letting the tears fall shamefully down his face.

Everyone just looked at him stunned. No one, not even Rossi had expected to hear that. Suddenly he stood up and walked over to the window leaving all of them sitting on the floor. He stared out at the street with blank eyes trying to get a hold of his emotions. Suddenly Hotch spoke up again. "Every day we go anywhere I am afraid that I will lose one of you. That I will fall short somehow and one of you will get hurt or killed because of it. That I might fail one of you somehow, like with Tobias or Cyrus. I already lost Haley, I couldn't stand to lose another one of my family members."

"Hotch you know you can't look at it that way. JJ said suddenly walking over to the window. "You will burn yourself out if you try to be responsible for everything."

"You know she's right Hotch. You need to forgive yourself of this false guilt that you have." Emily replied.

"Aaron. You're not perfect, you can't foresee everything. We have each other's backs, and that's all that matters." Rossi told the younger agent.

But Hotch simply shook his head. No matter how hard they might try to understand they couldn't. Being the leader it always fell back on him. It would always be his fault. Knowing that nothing could help him he just walked out of the room, wandering aimlessly around. Maybe there is no rest for the restless after all.

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