Dr. Robotnik was hanging out at his evil base.
"How am I going to fuck up humanity today?" he wondered aloud.
"By getting your fucking ass kicked, bitch." a cool voice replied.
"Who the-" Dr. Robotnik turned to see 6 feet of cold blue steel, menace glinting from the robotic hedgehog's eyes. "S-Sonic?"
"Not quite, bitch," the robot replied, stepping from the shadows. "I'm Sonic 9000, Sonic's robot clone. I've got a human brain, a human heart, and I'm an ass-kicking, bitch-slapping machine."
"I'm not a bitch, you won't slap me and you won't kick my ass!" Dr. Robotnik exclaimed in a rage, unleashing a horde of killer robots at Sonic 9000.
"Heh. Is that all you got?" before Sonic 9000 even finished that sentence, he had laid waste to Dr. Robotnik's robot army.
"Shit! Shit! SHIT! I'm getting the fuck out of here!" Dr. Robotnik screamed like a pussy.
Sonic 9000 paused to vape, his sleek, silver vape pen flickering in the lights of Dr. Robotnik's fortress, a calm, light blue mist emanating from his robot mouth. "It's only sporting of me to give him a head start, normally I'd catch this fool in 0.1 seconds."
In 0.2 seconds (head start!) Sonic 9000 had caught Dr. Robotnik.
"Let me down!" Dr. Robotnik complained, kicking his legs futilely as Sonic 9000 held him up by his stupid little collar.
"No way. Fuck you." Sonic 9000 coolly replied, throwing Dr. Robotnik in jail. "Now sit in there and think about what you've done."
"Oh," Sonic 9000 said before walking away, pausing to take another vape, "try not to get shivved...bitch."
"Now, let's see what else this world has to offer..." Sonic 9000 said to no one but himself as he walked out of the jail.