A/N:
Man, it's been a while since I've written Shizuo/Izaya, so I hope I'm not too rusty. The title is taken from the song "Departure" by Rika, which I was listening to a lot while writing so yeah. Reviews are always appreciated, enjoy!
Departure
You haven't seen him since it all ended. Ikebukuro stood on a foundation made of urban myths, gangs, and the rumored strongest men in Japan. Without the gangs and the infamous informant, the weight of the city fell to your shoulders and Celty's. People stared at you as you went through your regular routine. They would look expectantly around them, looking for even a glimpse of a furry, dark coat. The look in their eyes has changed from fear to hope, as if a fight between you and that bastard could somehow push the city out of the rut it has found itself stuck in.
You know differently. You don't understand why they keep looking, though.
Celty goes out less, now that he isn't here to give her jobs, and now that people crowd around her whenever she happens to step out of the apartment. They expect her to revive the city, too, but she can only shake her head. Shinra always tries to persuade her to get out more, maybe they could even go to the country for a few weeks. He could take a break off of work and they would-
She always stomped to her room then, and Shinra would just sigh and collapse onto the couch. Once, after a particularly loud door slam, Shinra looked up at you, smiled softly, and said, "I know she can't leave. This city needs you both too much."
But he kept trying, she kept slamming doors, and you kept on doing nothing about it but stare at the space above Celty's shoulder.
This city needs you-
And it needs him, too.
You go to his apartment often, but only Namie answers the door. She tells you, sorry, he's not in, but she could take a message for him if it was urgent.
You tell her to go hell, and she smiles and nods, writing your message down under the identical ones above it, each labeled with a different date but each from you. She pauses, and you read the date of your first message: six months ago. Over six months since he disappeared. It was only a few weeks after that you first were suspicious enough to go to his apartment. Of course, there were other messages. Sometimes Celty and Shinra came with you and wrote their wishes for Izaya to be safe. You've seen threats written down sloppily, most likely from past clients that he never tied the loose ends for.
Once you broke the pattern when you took the notebook from the door- Namie leaves it attached there at night- and wrote that you missed him. You immediately ripped it out of the notebook and slipped the small piece of paper into your pocket, muttering curses at your own stupidity.
That same week you thought you saw him slip into an alley outside of Ikebukuro, but when you turned the corner you only found a gun pointed to your head and someone yelling in your ear to hand over your wallet. You didn't hesitate to bend the guy's fingers back until you heard a sickening crack and a clatter as the gun hit the ground. The man collapsed next to it, whimpering, and as you looked down on him like the dirt you thought of him to be, you realized that this man looked nothing like Izaya. With a scowl you turned and walked away.
It had been 9 months since Izaya disappeared that you got the call from Shinra.
"Yeah?"
"Hey, Shizuo, it's Shinra." He paused as if he expected you to respond, but you just waited for him to continue. He sighed, "Right, I guess I'll get straight to the point." He cleared his throat uncomfortably, and you felt your patience dropping dangerously low. "Well, it's been quite a few months since Izaya disappeared- as you know, and Celty and I were thinking of finally organizing a sort of.. funeral, I guess. We want you to help."
A string that has been straining inside of you for too long finally snapped.
"A fucking funeral? The man isn't dead, he just ran away like the fucking scumbag flea that he is. I'm not going to help," you growled, your thumb wavering to the end the call.
"Shizuo-" And you hesitate. "Shizuo, Izaya's dead. The police found his body a couple months ago."
"What?"
"Actually, they found his body nearby, turns out that after all this time he had never even made it that far." Shinra chuckled uneasily.
"You never told me," You said, "Two fucking months and you never thought to bring it up?"
"I- we thought it was best to wait."
"You should have told me," you spoke softly. Shinra sighed.
"I know, you spent all of this time looking and we should've stopped you, and-"
"How did he die?" You could hear the slight hiss of Shinra taking in a deep breath.
"He was shot. At first the police suspected that they were yakuza members; y'know because he dropped his work so suddenly, but turns out they were just a couple of guys who thought he would be an easy target to mug. Izaya must've put up a bit of a fight, though; one of the guys had a few broken fingers."
It felt like ropes were tightened around your chest.
"He was brought to intensive care after being found bleeding out on the ground, but his body was already failing on him. Turns out the past 9 months haven't treated him well, or maybe he just gave up a long time ago."
You wanted Shinra to stop talking.
"Listen, I, uh, know that you were worried about him, and if you need to talk about it, Celty and I are here."
Your trembling fingers managed to end the call. All this time you spent looking, and the bastard was right there within your reach. You could've killed that guy as soon as he lifted the gun. You could've stopped all of this.
You could've saved him.
Your head was throbbing but you picked the phone back up anyway and dialed Shinra's number.
"Yeah, I'll help," you say. You can at least do this for him.
The funeral was small, which seemed weird to you when you stood there in front of his casket. He was such a huge presence,in the city and in your life, that it felt natural for his funeral to be just as loud and god damn annoying as he was.
Shinra and Celty were sitting on a bench, their fingers entwined as Shinra comforted her with murmurs and soft-spoken stories. Erika, Walker, and Kadota were talking with that one high schooler that you've seen around before. For once, Erika and Walker had a somber look on their faces, and even the blonde kid carried a heavy air around him.
Wrong, wrong, wrong. It all felt wrong. You used to think he was the Devil himself, but without him your world has gone to hell.
They tell you they're sorry, you tell them to take their apologies and shove them up their asses. Nobody stopped you from turning and walking away. Nobody stopped you the whole way home. You pushed past people who didn't even spare you a second glance, and for once you sort of craved the attention. Ikebukuro felt different; it lacked the spark that seemed to keep its heart pumping, and its blood moved sluggishly along with their lives.
Because this city needs him.
And you need him, too.