Gord Vendome was definitely not having a good week.
Why? Well, I'll explain.
On Sunday, his room was clouded in a dark purple gas and smelled
terrible, "like poor people!" he mentioned before passing out. When he
woke up, a majority of his expensive clothing was stolen and never
found again.
On Monday, there were spiders in his shoes. There were about a hundred
crawly little insects all over his legs, the others crushed under his
feet. Thankfully Bif was nearby to help out and, at Gord's request,
check the rest of his shoes for spiders as well.
On Tuesday, Jimmy beat him up and stole his watch. Then he dropped his
homework in a puddle. And finally, he lost several boxing matches and
broke a few ribs and a toe falling down the stairs.
On Wednesday, his toe was stepped on and his ribs were jabbed at
constantly. He fell down the stairs again and broke his nose,
fractured his foot, and broke another rib.
All he did on Thursday was sit and browse through clothing online. He
did, however, get Rickrolled more than once.
Friday, Gord got a phonecall from his daddy.
He was adopted.
It's Saturday and Gord is more depressed than Constantinos. All he
wants to do-and can do- is lay face-down on his bed and sleep away the
pain and the eternal sadness of finding out he was adopted.
The other preps couldn't do much. They checked up on him to make sure
he didn't hang or cut himself, but they were immediately told to go
away. In the nicest way possible.
He was pretty sure things could not get any worse.
Until Johnny brought back his dead cat for him. He made sure to leave
it infront of his door. Derby found it first and had a bit of a
difficult time breaking the news to Gord.
He choked on his food. His pillow had a snake in it. Someone drew
dicks on his casts as he was sleeping. He got stung by a bee. He
swelled up from oranges. He got an ear infection. He broke a nail. He
ran out of cream for his rash. He broke his finger from falling on the
toilet. More spiders in his shoes. All of his socks were stolen.
Aquaberry's site was down.
I would go on, but there's way too much to mention. 3 paragraphs of
mishaps happening to poor Gord? I don't think so.
The next week wasn't much better.
On Sunday, more clothes were stolen as he slept.
On Monday, spiders were in his pants. Bif wasn't around so he had to
deal on his own.
On Tuesday, Jimmy dropped by and returned his watch, only to be stolen
again by a Greaser passing by.
On Wednesday, more immature things were written and drawn on his casts.
On Thursday, several screamers popped up on his screen and Aquaberry's
site was still down.
On Friday, another phonecall from his daddy.
"We're moving to Mexico, son!"
Saturday, he's packing his bags, thinking of all the ways he could
kill himself.
Sunday, daddy says it was an April Fool's prank and gives him a few
thousand dollars to apologize. It was then stolen by some poor fool.
Really, must I go on?
Moral of the story: Gord's life sucks, kids.
A/N: What is this. I don't even.
Well I know it absolutely has no plot except for you know Gord's life sucks. Plus the ending and the title are terrible. If you like this then well I guess you really like my writing or you have bad taste in fanfiction.