3rd Zare story. To my readers, I am sorry if I'm not updating. I don't know what to write. I have no inspiration. I just can't write without inspiration. No inspiration, no chapter. I'm sorry. I'll try to update soon.
Anyway, enjoy! R&R!
'Why can't you be with me?'
I sighed sadly as I watched Clare Edwards, the love of my life, kiss and cuddle with her boyfriend, Elijah Goldsworthy.
I've loved Clare Edwards for a long time already. Ever since her family moved into my neighborhood.
We became friends, but never became anything more than that. Sometimes I think it's because of the age difference. I was fifteen and she was seventeen.
Other times I think it's because she didn't like me in that way, but I never really had the courage to ask her if she liked me back or not, anyway.
Too late now, she already as boyfriend.
She probably doesn't even know I like her. I sighed again, gazing at the happy, lovey-dovey couple. It hurts me so much to see her with Eli. Wrenches my heart every time.
He was a perfect boyfriend in every way, according to her. And based on my observations, that was true.
He was thoughtful and sweet, always buying Clare he favorite flowers, roses and dahlias. Always buying her teddy bears. Always taking her out to the movies. Always taking her out to dinner.
He was caring, always tending to Clare whenever she was sick. Always walking her to class to make sure she got there safe. Always accompanying her to that eye center with that creepy ophthalmologist, to make sure she's safe and comfortable.
He was selfless, devoting all his free time to Clare. Always paying attention to Clare and her needs. Always giving up outings with friends to hang out with Clare.
In one word, he was perfect. The whole package.
How did I know all this?
Because Clare always talks about Eli, she always reminds (unknowingly hurting me) me that Eli was a perfect boyfriend. That's all I ever hear from her now.
Eli, Eli, Eli...
Eli's this, Eli's that. That's all I hear. Hey, did you know me and Eli are planning to get matching tattoos? Or, Eli's taking me out to dinner tonight! Isn't he sweet?
He's all she ever talk about. And it pains me so much. She's so in love with him. And it's obvious he loves her too...
I miss the time when me and Clare just talked about us. I missed the time when me and her hung out together. Going to amusement parks, going to the movies, hanging out by the fountain at the mall.
Now she spends 99 % of her time with Eli. The and the remaining 1% she spends with me. Pathetic, right?
I glanced at the couple again. They stood up and headed to Eli's hearse. I sighed,looking away and running a hand through my hair. Why can't she be with me? Why didn't I tell her I loved her when I had the chance?
I wish I told her how I much I loved her when I had the chance. When she was single. But it's too late now. She'll never be with me.
I looked back again. They were gone now...
I love Clare so much. It hurts me to see her with him. It hurts me to see her gaze up at him with loving eyes. It hurts me to see her kiss him... And hug him and hold his hand.
But even thought it hurts me, I'm happy she's happy. But I still wish that was me holding her hand.
Kissing her, cuddling her, comforting her when she's sad, taking care of her when she sick...Making her laugh and giggle, making her smile.
I want to be the one who accompanies her to the drug store to buy her sanitary needs, no matter how embarrassing it is. I want to be the one to go with her to the boutique so she can try out clothes.
I want to be the one who stays with her for hours at the mall. I want to be the one that cuddles her when we she's scared coz we're watching horror movies, not Eli. Not that sex-crazed (I don't care if he's only turned on by Clare, it's still gross), death-obsessed, Clare-obsessed psycho.
I wish that was me buying her gifts and buying her presents for her birthday. But that isn't me. It's someone else...
I wish that was me gazing into her beautiful ocean blue eyes and stroking her soft, pale skin.
I whipped out my phone and looked at the picture I took of her when we went to the movies. I've been staring at the pics of her in my phone ever since she started dating Eli. We rarely see each other any more. No more hanging out, just the occasional conversation on the phone. Or exchanged 'his' at school.
So you get why I'm so obsessed with the pics I have of her on my own.
It's the only way I can see her without Eli. I stared at her picture. Damn, she's so beautiful.
I love her so much, she's so beautiful, captivating. She has these amazing, hypnotizing ocean blue eyes and the softest skin I've ever touched.
She has pretty pink lips and perfect, even, white teeth. She also has the nicest legs I've ever seen. Not to mention her... Derriere... And her... Chest.
She has this cute laugh, music to my ears. And when she snore, it's cute.
But most of all, I love her personality. She's so sweet, so kind, so caring. She's selfless, always thinking of what other people want and need, before her needs.
She's always volunteering for community service, always staying after school to tutor kids who suck in Math (coz she is a whiz in Math).
She's always going to Church, she's very religious, but I guess she doesn't go to church much anymore, only on Sundays. Why? Because of Eli.
I bet they had sex already, I heard Alli teasing Clare about it. That makes me so mad. She pledged to be a virgin till she got married!
But she gave it to Eli. Tsk... I don't care if he's faithful to her, if he loves her... I love her, I deserve to be with her.
I'm extremely jealous of Eli. To the point that I hate him. He's perfect. SO faithful, he never cheats on Clare, never looks at another girl.
And what hurts the most is, he truly, genuinely loves her. I can see it his eyes, the way he moves, the way he looks at her.
I heard him say 'I love you' to her once, when I passed by them. He truly does love her, and that makes me sad. So sad it hurts... Physically.
I know I should be happy that Clare's found a guy who truly loves her and would never cheat on her, the ideal kind of guy for her, but I'm not. Because I want to be that guy.
I've tried to get over her, dating other girls from my school. Maya, Tori, Imogen... Even Bianca. But it didn't work. Nothing works. I love Clare, and I don't want to let go of her.
Even though she's with Eli.
...
I don't get what she sees in that guy. He has many problems... He's always frowning (except when he's around her, he smiles every time he sees her), he's a very hostile guy (only to guys who looks at 'his' girl), always glaring, frowning, snarling and threatening guys who flirt with Clare. I'd do that to, but I wouldn't say I'd kill them (in a very detailed description). He's very possessive of her.
Is that why she likes him? Because he's possessive and smiles only for her? I highly doubt she dates him coz of she date him coz he's a 'bad boy', or is because of his 'gorgeous, emerald green eyes' or his 'awesome hair'?
Or is it because he's so sweet to her and she really just loves him, all of him?
Well, I love her more. I want her more. I need her more...
...
Or does he need her more? With all his problems and stuff, yeah... He does need her more. But I need her, too.
Maybe I should tell her how I feel. Get this weight off my chest. I'll just tell her I love her. But I won't forget. Because I can't forget her, and I don't want to.
I glanced at my phone. Should I tell her through a text? That seems cowardly. But it'll have to do. She's probably busy. Too busy making out with Eli, having sex with him or she's out a date with him.
I typed in the words 'I love you.' My fingers hovered over the 'ok' button. Should I really tell her?Yes... It's all for the best. To at lest take a little weight off my chest. I hope Eli's not with her when she gets this.
I sighed and pressed send.
TO : CLARE
FROM : ZIG
I love you.
Again, I will update my other stories soon. Thanks for reading. Don't complain about my grammar, English ISN'T my first language. Thanks again for taking your time to read this terrible story.