Title: When a Sylar meets a Naraku

Genre: Crack

Word Count: 507

Fandom/ Pairing: Heroes/ IY, Sylar/ Naraku

Warning: Mpreg?

For: Wheezi-chan

When a Sylar meets a Naraku

Sylar was not a happy puppy. After all, who would be if you had a great, dirty sword stuck on you, and fell into a gutter, and then ended up in feudal Japan?

Sylar would have given anything to be a bursting Peter Petrelli, or kill Hiro Nakamura, rather than be dressed in a girly kimono, with white-make up on his face.

And a weird, feminine (and asinine) guy smirking at him evilly.

Evilly. That smirk could rival his own when he was polishing off people to increase his own powers.

" Good morning, stranger. My name is Naraku."

Okay, so when you're from 21st century America, you'd be stupid if you weren't dumbfounded at a really pretty guy, with lots of tentacles.

And if you weren't dumbfounded, that means you wanted tentacle sex.

Sylar wasn't.

" So, Sylar-san, you know what I mean now?" Naraku whispered into his ears.

And Sylar was really enjoying it, much more than having Mohinder whisper so sexily.

So he was with the biggest badass demon in the universe, before he got there. And the demon had made him an offer he couldn't resist.

Lots and lots of power, with a couple of pretty women thrown in, in exchange for being his partner.

But he apparently didn't know that in those days, demons did not have contracts.

And the contracts didn't clearly state that partner meant being his mate, and having his babies, and changing their nappies, and potty-training them…

By the time Sylar found out, it was too late.

He was going to become a mommy. Or a daddy. Whatever.

And of course, he blew up half of Naraku's castle too, when he came to know.

Byakuya wished that instead of being a Master of illusions, he would become a Master of blocking out screams-of-labour pain.

Sylar was not a happy puppy. Sorry, bitch, this time.

"Aww, we are going to create the most evil baby in the world. Just a little longer, matey-poo."

" Don't you fucking matey-poo me, just get that monster out of here."

And then he screamed so loudly that the earth split into pieces. And so did Sylar's extra-sensitive ears.

Nothing good comes out of killing people, you know.

So now we have a happy ending. Sylar became a woman, and had many more babies, and they lived happily ever after.

Wrong.

They gave birth to the meanest, most evil kid in the world, who blew his parents to bits when he was fifteen, and then started to conquer the world.

Did he conquer the world?

Naaah, apparently the Inu-tachi defeated him, and packed him off to hell.

Unfortunately, he reached America. There, he met a real girl, married, set up a Japanese curio shop, and had a load of kids.

The end.

And yes, 500 years later, among various lines of his descendants were born Gabriel Gray, Peter and Nathan Petrelli, Niki Sanders….and all those people with superpowers.

Man, he must have had a real load of kids.

The real end.