Disclaimer: I don't own DC or MK, but I'm totally looking forward to plot advancement (whenever that happens).

This is not intended as a shipping fic; it's meant to be a funny and interesting account of Shinichi (as Conan) and Heiji's cases. Depending on my mood, it may or may not get shippy later on (yeah, that's right, "shippy" is a word now, haha).

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"Aw, why can't I go with Uncle Kogoro, Ran-neechan?"

"Kudo?" Heiji spun around, cursing the lunchtime crowds. He couldn't spot the fun-sized detective, but that was definitely his pouty-child voice reserved for adults.

"What are you doing, Heiji?" Kazuha tugged on his arm. "You promised we were going to see the magic show in the park. Any more stalling and we'll miss it, idiot."

"Hold on, idiot. I thought I heard him."

"Who?"

"Ku– Conan-kun. He just said something to Neechan. Betcha he's here on a case and didn't tell me, the brat." A case would be the only motivation for Kudo to go anywhere with that dimwitted detective, he reasoned.

"Heiji! I know you're fond of Conan-kun, but he doesn't need your permission to come to Osaka. He probably just didn't want to see your stupid face."

He ignored her. "Oi! Neechan!" Heiji called, spotting the girl's tall hair some distance away. "Ran-san!" Shinichi's girl turned and found him in the crowd. She waved, grabbing a small hand and forcing both the kid and her father to follow them down the sidewalk.

"Hi," she said brightly when they'd caught up the Osakan pair. "How are you guys? Wow, what are the chances of just running into you two?"

While Ran started catching up with Kazuha, with Kogoro looking bored off to the side, Heiji squatted down to Conan's height. "What brings you to Osaka, Kudo? Miss me?"

"Don't call me that in public," Conan hissed. "Kogoro's here on a case. There was a homicide at a hotel nearby and I was just going to investigate."

Heiji snickered. "I dunno, Kudo, it sounded like Neechan was about to veto your involvement in this one. You're lucky I showed up. Just put up a fuss about wanting to hang out with me and they'll let you come."

Conan made a very adult smirk. "I hardly think you were taking Kazuha to a hotel."

"Brat. We're not like you and Neechan. Whatever, then, I guess I'll tag along with Occhan and not take you with me."

"Heiji-niichan!" Conan squealed loudly, hugging the other teen's leg like a stuffed toy. "I wanna go with you!" Then, in a lower voice, he added, "If you get to go, I do too."

"Relax, Kudo, I was just teasin' you." He ruffled the other detective's hair, looking up at Kogoro. "The kid says you're here on a case. I can help."

He laughed. "The great Sleeping Kogoro does not need help on a case!" Then he considered. "But, Yoko-chan's on tonight so I want to wrap this up quickly, and no one else can keep that four-eyed squirt out of the way."

"How about the kid and I come with you so Ran-san can go with Kazuha to the magic show?" Without waiting for an answer, Heiji hoisted said kid onto his hip, earning a black look from Conan that promised retribution. "Have fun, girls! So, Conan-kun, where's this hotel?"

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The client, Yamazaki Hana, was uncomfortable with the great Kogoro bringing a teenager and a child, but allowed them to sit in on her explanation. "I apologize for not saying much over the phone, Mouri-san, but I needed you to get here quickly. I want this incident resolved today. My husband owns the hotel, and having a murder on the premises is bad for publicity. I will not let this be made into a media spectacle – that's why I called someone from out-of-town to help the police detectives."

"So what actually happened?" Heiji jumped in impatiently. Skirting around the issue wasn't gonna solve it any faster.

Yamazaki-san glowered at him for the interruption but answered anyway. "One of the housekeepers discovered the body of Kimura Noboru in his guest room. He was –"

"Can we see it?"

"The police are currently working at the scene. I highly doubt they'd allow children free reign," she said frostily, indicating both Conan and Heiji. Heiji didn't contradict her, but since the officers were likely his father's men, he thought differently. Conan shared a wry grin with him as they hurried off to the room with Kogoro.

Heiji took in the crime scene, mentally editing out the officers and police tape to picture what the room would have looked like when it was first discovered. The room was on the first floor, so windows were shut and locked tightly. Two half-unpacked suitcases rested on the closest bed, undoubtedly belonging to the victim and his wife. Other small bags surrounded them: there was one for makeup, a backpack for sightseeing in the city, and a small purse. A man's wallet rested on the night table, along with keys and a mobile phone. Not a robbery, then. The room had a door connecting to the room on the left, also locked. Everything was very neat.

Of course, his pocket-sized counterpart was already crawling all over the body (metaphorically speaking) when Heiji finally settled his gaze on the corpse. The man – late twenties, Heiji guessed – was lying face-up on the bed on top of the covers, wearing a casual shirt and slacks. His eyes were closed, his hands resting at his sides. The only things that suggested he wasn't simply asleep were the blood that covered his shirt and the Western-style steak knife sticking out of his chest.

"What's the time of death?" Heiji asked a passing officer whom he recognized.

"Oh, Hattori-kun, I didn't know you were coming. He's been dead for two to three hours, so 10:30, give or take. The maid discovered him around noon. Wife was out shopping."

"Thanks."

"He didn't struggle," Conan murmured to Heiji. "He was probably already asleep or knocked out when he was stabbed. It's too clean to be otherwise."

"I'm going with drugged," Heiji agreed. "Who else takes a nap at 10:30? It's unlikely that he was up for long enough to exhaust himself, 'specially since he isn't in exercise clothes."

"Don't say that for sure yet, Hattori. A late night might have prompted him to return to bed after the hotel's breakfast."

"Right, didn't think of that." He found the officer in charge. "Otaki-han, you should gather everyone who had keys to the room," Heiji suggested. "First-floor windows don't open all the way and the adjourning door is locked, so it's probable that the killer got in through the front."

The officer rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "Hattori-kun, we're not rookies. We questioned the staff and the victim's wife. Kimura Noboru-san actually worked here at Yamazaki Hotel 'til about a year ago and left on, well, less-than-ideal terms, so we held anyone close to him and those with motive and no solid alibi." He indicated three people standing off to the side. "Yamazaki Akira, the hotel owner, apparently discovered that Kimura had been embezzling company funds, but didn't have enough proof to take it to court. Morita Hitomi, one of the housekeeping staff, was Kimura's ex-girlfriend, and according to her coworkers it was a nasty breakup. His wife Kimura Toshiko was seen arguing with him last night at dinner about finances."

Conan met Heiji's eyes. Let's go talk to them. "The ex-girlfriend first," the smaller detective muttered to Heiji as they approached. The woman had plastered a bored expression on her face, whereas Yamazaki Akira was openly angry and the victim's wife was crying.

"Excuse me, Morita-san, could you tell me where you were between 10 and 11am?"

"Who're you?" she said, crossing her arms defensively and peering down at Heiji. He had the sudden urge to yank that diamond stud out of her nose.

Luckily for the woman, Conan jumped in cheerfully, "We're Uncle Kogoro's assistants! He's very busy with the crime scene so Heiji-niichan and I talk to people sometimes. Right?" He turned around to the Osaka detective and made a face. Heiji nodded in reply and coughed to cover a laugh. Kudo's probably sick of being Occhan's "assistant."

"The detective, Mouri Kogoro? Fine. I've been in the kitchen since 7:30 this morning, since the dishwasher's been broken and three guys called in sick today. I left once at 9 to visit the ladies room and once at, I dunno, 10:45 to smoke out back. You can talk to all the staff in the kitchen if you don't believe me. I was washing dishes the rest of the time."

"Then she would have had access to steak knives and had time during the smoking break," Conan said, lost in thought. Everyone's eyes snapped to the kid detective, and Heiji mentally groaned. We need a signal for when he's being too adult for a seven-year-old. The code word could be "Rampo" or something. (1)

"So, how long were you dating Kimura-san?" Heiji asked so the suspects would all stop staring at Conan.

He got another wicked glare. "That's none of your business. After he kicked me out of our apartment, I didn't want to see him ever again. I certainly would've called in sick myself if I knew he was staying here."

"You're not upset that he's dead."

"Do I look upset to you? But that's not what you're actually asking, hotshot. I can do better than him; I didn't need to kill him. He was a liar and a cheat – I had no idea what he was up to with that embezzling scheme until he was gone, but I knew someday his shit was going to come back to him. Looks like his karma just kicked in." She flashed a malicious smile, then stalked over towards "one of the real officers" to ask when she could leave.

Conan skipped over to Kimura Toshiko. "This lady's really upset, Heiji-niichan." He turned to her. "My mama always says that talking helps. Why don't you tell us about what happened since you got here?"

Between sobs, the woman got out her story. "We've been travelling around Japan for our belated honeymoon – we got married two months ago but had to put it off because of work. It was crazy: we grew up in the same city and are– were both in accounting, but we'd never heard of each other until a year ago. And then we met and immediately fell in love. I made the hotel arrangements, so I didn't know that he'd worked here before we met. Gods, everyone hates him here. I had no idea it was this branch of the Yamazaki chain!

"We got in yesterday at 5 and had dinner before going to bed early. This morning at 9:30, we had breakfast in the hotel's American restaurant. At about 10, I left to go shopping around town. I bought a few outfits and some souvenirs for my sisters, and I took a walk around the park. I can show you the packages and receipts if you need to check. When I got back –" and here she blew her nose, "– they said that Noboru had been found mur– mur– he was dead." Heiji was getting a weird feeling that she was overdoing the grief on purpose, but it would be easy enough to check the hotel security to see if she had actually been gone when her husband had been killed. The receipts would be good too, but the visit to the park couldn't be corroborated by anyone. She wasn't from Osaka, so who would recognize and remember her?

Conan tugged at Heiji's shirt. "Yamazaki-kaichou probably won't talk frankly while Kimura-san is here," he murmured once the Osakan leaned down. "I'll take her to get water while you question him." Always two steps ahead, Heiji thought, miffed.

The hotel owner spoke before Heiji opened his mouth. "I was on the phone from 9:53 to 11:14 in Conference Room B – I checked because I know you're going to pull my cell phone records anyway. My wife said she walked by the room and heard me, and one of the janitors did too, so don't say I just had the phone connected while I killed that sneak in his room." Heiji filed that information away, but noted that it could have been a recording in the conference room while the real phone was connected elsewhere.

"I heard you'd been cheated by the victim. That true?"

"Yes. He was one of my accountants in our building's office and swindled me out of quite a bit of money. And before you ask, yes, I could have gotten a keycard to Kimura-san's room if I'd wanted it, but I didn't know he was here until this morning when he was found. The reservations were made by his wife, and Kimura is a common name."

"You have an answer for everything." It's like he rehearsed it. Almost too perfect.

"If the detective wants to speak to me, he can do so at any time. Please give Mouri-san my business card." Heiji was forced to accept the card, swallowing several angry retorts that would have gotten him kicked out of the building and off the case. The businessman walked briskly over towards a staff member and said something, pointing at the stairs, before taking a seat on one of the benches.

While Heiji was looking for a suitable wall to punch, Conan returned. After filling the tiny detective in about Yamazaki Akira's statement, Conan shared his new information. "Kimura-san confirmed that they had argued at dinner about how much to spend on medical insurance. She was concerned because her father had encountered problems paying for her mother's hospital bills some years back – oh, she was away at school on an academic scholarship, so tuition wasn't hurting them. Since she lost her mother, Kimura-san said she was unwilling to be underprepared again. She claimed they'd resolved the issue at dinner and had plans for this afternoon to rearrange their finances. Unfortunately, we only have her word on that."

"Great," Heiji sighed. They moved back to the room, avoiding the cackling Kogoro who was telling anyone that would listen how quickly he was going to solve the case.

Cue two pairs of rolling eyes.

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(1) "Rampo" is a reference to Edogawa Rampo, the mystery writer that Shinichi gets half of his alias from.

From Meri: Regarding the Osakan accent, I've read some fics where the accent is conveyed well, but there are some where it's hard to tell what Heiji and/or Kazuha are trying to say. Therefore, I'm going to keep the accent stuff to a minimum. Since by reading this fic you are probably familiar with DC, you don't need me to tell you that Heiji and Kazuha have accents.

Uh, I don't know if there's a real Yamazaki hotel chain, but if so, it's purely coincidence. I picked from a list of common Japanese family names. Ooh, on a related note, in case it isn't clear, family names are written/spoken first in Japanese, so I left them that way.

Also, Osaka's a little far from his usual stomping grounds, but the magic show the girls are going to see is being performed by Kuroba Kaito. Who knows? Maybe he'll make an appearance or have a heist lined up in time for two of his adorable detectives to join in the fun ;)