Title: Happily Ever After
Rating: PG-13 baby! These fairy tales aren't for little kids! Not only will they be dealing with adult innuendoes, dark comedy is sooo not for little kids! Actually, this fic could probably squeeze through the PG line, but it's against my ideals to tell fairy tales to little kiddies. Why? A) Hello! Have you read some of these fairy tales? And B) The censored ones lead to the Disney Complex: where you start believing the only happy endings are the ones where they have a heterosexual marriage, a challenging sex life, lots of kids, everything is always happy, and they day old people wrapped in each other's arms at the same time. How about never getting married at all? How about divorce? How about everything else that can go wrong in a marriage? And so, that's what I say. How about we get some REAL fairy tales happening?
AN: Mwa ha! Another sequel I never thought I would write! All those expecting sheer insane amounts of fluff…. I'll try not to disappoint you! All those expecting dark comedy: I will gladly do my best to try and make it as such! For all those who have heard of Mr. Gardner, and the politically correct fairy tales. Oh, this is much like that, with, of course, a feminist spin.
All the research of the fairy tales I did, I got from the site Go ahead and check it out yourselves! I think it's awesome.
So here's the start of the sequel, which I hope you all enjoy. And by the way, I need some help so if you know of any riddles, send them to me! I need them for later on. ^_^ Enjoy!
~*~
Chapter One: The Poisonous Apple
Fairy tales are not like life.
This is sad, but true.
Fairy tales always have a happily ever after, but life does not. Life has ups and downs, and never really ends.
Sango, thundering down the hallway to the dungeons, was learning this the hard way. She looked at the guard and ordered him to unlock the cell. When he protested, she yelled at him and pulled rank on him. The guard reluctantly opened the cell door and Sango told him to leave it unlocked, and leave. When the guard again paused, Sango whirled on him in fury. Sango furious was a scary thing.
"He won't be going anywhere! Do you think I would risk my position for a liar? Leave the cell door open, and you can lock it when I'm done talking!"
The guard scurried away, and the captured liar could understand. Sango was frightening, at times. He wished he could run away too. He looked strained, but he smiled when he looked up at her, slowly standing, despite the heavy manacles on his wrists. "To what do I owe the honor, my Lady Sango?"
Tears burned her eyes, and she punched him so hard that he almost fell over. Miroku rubbed his jaw. He'd deserved that, but in all honesty, the pain that stabbed him when he saw her eyes had been far worse.
"Don't call me that," she hissed at him, too mad to raise her voice. "Don't you dare call me that, Miroku! You lied to me! You told me that you were going to give up being a thief! You told me you were going to stop so that I wouldn't have to deal with this, so that we wouldn't have to go through it!" She placed a hand on her broad stomach. "All of us."
He tried to apologize, tried to say something, but she caught him off. "I hate you, Miroku. I hate you so much that I will be the one to sentence you, and I will tell your son that you died a traitor's death. Because you are a traitor: to me! You lied!"
"Sango, my love, I…."
He awoke in a cold sweat, gasping for breath. What a nightmare! He threw off the sheets and stretched, walking out to the balcony of his bedroom. The wind was cold on his bare chest, but it calmed him down. He took a few deep breaths, and tried to forget the dream. It would be easier to forget if it hadn't struck so close to home! Everything -her tears, her touch, her voice, her swollen baby and talk of a baby boy- it was a mixture of reality and daydreams woven into a hellish trap. He wanted to marry Sango, and have a child with her, but always a single question plagued him.
What would they do about Miroku, the King of Thieves? Simply called by the title, nameless, he did good in the world, making sure people had food in times of hardship. As a priest he did even more good, not afraid to lend a helping hand, and no peasant would ever give him up. But eventually, he had long ago accepted, he would one day be caught.
And then Sango would have to watch him die.
How could he choose between Sango and a family, and helping people, giving up the carefree life he had come to love?
There was no life without Sango in it, but at the same time, Sango was not a reason for being, whereas helping people was. Was it really a choice between life or reason?
Arms wrapped around him, bringing with them a blanket. He ran his fingers over Sango's arms. "I'm sorry if I woke you, Sango."
"You didn't," she told him. Kissing his shoulder, she smiled. "Well, actually, you did. I'm getting more and more accustomed to having your body next to mine when I sleep. What I'm going to do when I'm out on the road, I don't know. What's the matter, Miroku?"
He sighed, knowing he couldn't lie to her. "Just a bad dream." Grinning, he turned in her arms, slipping his arms around her waist. "Holding you gives me better ones. Shall I tell you a story, my lady Sango?"
She nodded, smiling. "I love hearing your stories. Please, tell me."
"Once upon a time, there was a king who had a son, and his wise men told him that if the son were to see the sun before his fourteenth birthday, he would go blind. And so the young boy was sent into a room without windows, and he had no human companionship, except for a nun. When the child's fourteenth birthday came around, he was let out, and for the first time saw all the world could hold. He saw the sun, animals, plants, cities, and towns, and was told of many things, like the motion of the sky, of right and wrong, of companionship.
"When he saw a girl, he asked his teachers what that was, and the replied to him, jokingly, 'It is a child of evil'. The king, when he asked the prince what he had liked the most on his excursion, received the answer 'I liked the children of evil the most'. After having been explained that this meant a female, the king understood, and warned the son, 'Beware of them, for the may lead you into hell'."
Sango pursed her lips and arched an eyebrow. "Are you trying to imply that I am the reason for your nightmares?" she asked, sounding hurt.
With a gentle smile, he kissed her forehead. "No, Sango, my love: you are the source of all my fantasies and hopes come true. My nightmares come from my own indecisions."
The brown-eyed girl understood. "Those same thoughts bother me, Miroku. One day we will work them all out. But if you do decide to give it up, I will say nothing of the matter. You don't want me to stop being a knight, and I don't want you to stop being a scoundrel. I like you just the way you are, Miroku. When the time comes for you to make a choice, you will make the right one and I will love you all the same."
He sighed, his eyes turning a happy shade of violet. "I love you, my Lady Sango." He scooped her up into his arms and whisked her back into their bedroom. "Allow me to prove to you just how much I love you."
Laying her on the bed, her brushed her unbound hair –and the beads encircling his hand caught in her hair. Sango winced as he worked his hand free. Miroku stared at the hand, and gently closed it. Before he could decide what to with his life, he wanted to find a way to mend his hand first. He wanted to be able told her without worrying the beads would press her tender flesh, to feel her skin on the palm of her hand.
It was a problem that Sango could not help her Miroku with. She took his protected hand and kissed his palm, her brown eyes understanding. "Whether you find a way to heal your hand, Miroku, is also up to you, and only up to you. Nothing you can do will change how I feel about you. And you will always be whole to me."
Miroku's breathing turned into a hiss as she slowly leaned up and let her lips brush hers in the sweetest of kisses anyone had given him. Nobody had an affect like him as his fiancée did. Oh, he did so love her!
"As I said, you are the source of all my hopes, my Lady Sango…."
~*~
As Sango and Miroku were learning this same truth, so were Kagome and Inuyasha. The lonely house encircled by the forest that Inuyasha called his lands was now warm and comforting. The scent of Kagome's baking was familiar… actually, Inuyasha was the one who worked in the kitchen. Kagome was much more accustomed to growing plants, lovingly checking the fields each day to see if they needed fresh water, working the soil so it didn't dry out, adding manure. Kagome even went to the extreme of checking the plants themselves for brown spots, and healed them with her magic.
Things were very happy for them, and unlike Miroku and Sango, they did not have a pendulum hanging over their heads: they were simply happy. Inuyasha, in the six months since they had become engaged, had added an extension on to the house so that Kagome had a bedroom all her own. He said it would not be proper for them to share a bed until they were properly married.
Really, just like a real prince!
Okay, Kagome didn't like his job much because he often left her to tend to the world, and she worried about him with her not there to watch his back. Often, when this thought crossed her mind, she thought of the battle with Hiten and shivered. She wanted herself and Inuyasha to be a team! And she supposed they were a team: he always cared for her and made sure she wanted for nothing, and Kagome in turn did what he had neither the skill nor the time to do: care for his lands. No, Kagome did not tend to the house as she did to the land. In no time at all her skin had tanned from the sun, her cheeks were pink from happiness, her hands callused by the shovel and the spade.
Just like Inuyasha's were from his sword.
Either way, when he returned, it more than made up for his time away. The trees whispered to her that Inuyasha returned, and she ran to meet him, but -oh!- he was so much faster than she was and he always got to her first! His arms would wrap around her and he would spin around so fast she got dizzy. Somehow his lips would find hers, and she would shake with delight as their spiral ended, allowing them to cling to each other desperately, kissing each other fiercely and tell them silently that all was well.
Sitting at the table by herself, she sighed, wishing he was back. The trees whispered, and she leapt up. He was coming back! She burst from the house and ran, meeting him in the dark forest that did not scare her in the slightest. His laughter filled her ears, and he rained kisses on her cheeks.
When they stopped, she took his hand. "Come and see the flowers! They've grown so much!" she smiled up at him. "The fledglings have hatched, and soon the strawberries will be ripe."
Inuyasha shook his head, and scooped her up in his arms. "The plants will still be there tomorrow. But I will only be here for one night. I'm just passing through, Kagome. I have to go to the human land. I can stop by your farm as well. Would you like me to pass on a message to your family?"
Melancholy, she sighed. Now more than ever she wanted to go with Inuyasha! She hadn't seen her family since the winter. But once the land went to sleep, she could visit them again. Was this what her life was to be all the time? She did not mind the hard work, but she longed for the companionship only a future husband and her family could give her.
Carrying her into the house, she reached behind them and shut the door. She leaned up and bit his ear –those wonderful, fluffy ears!- playfully. "Tell them that I am happy, and that I will send them some of our berries. But don't tell them that when you come home, you leave me immediately, or they'll know how lonely I am! And I am lonely, Inuyasha, when you aren't here with me."
The next morning, they walked hand in hand through the garden, and Inuyasha was amazed at her talents. He kissed her softly, a hint of longing on his lips as he let his hand fall from hers. "I'm sorry to have to leave you like this," he told her again.
Kagome sighed. "It's the price of loving a prince," she told him softly. "Your heart may be mine, but your sword arm must defend your people, your senses watch for danger, your lips threaten away intruders, your feet take you were you are ordered to go…."
"No," he corrected her, kissing her again and taking her into his arms. "I'm all yours, Kagome. My sword defends you, my mind thinks of you constantly, my heart is yours, I carry your love with me wherever I go, and as for my lips…" The thought was cut off as his mouth covered hers, and all too soon he bitterly drew away.
Turning and walking away, he paused where the wild forest met her tamed forest. Inuyasha was much like the lands she had tamed: still so wild and so gentle at the same time. His ears pulled back in sadness, and he waved goodbye to her, unable to bear parting with her again. "I'll come back to you before the fledglings fly," he promised her.
"I know."
She watched, the wind blowing by her as she left, and the trees whispered of hope to her dry face. She knew that he would come back to her. He always did.
Animals slowly emerged, and a cat demon named Kirara that had become attached to Kagome, wound around her feet. You don't have to be so lonely, Priestess, the cat pointed out. You have us animals and plants to talk to. We can keep you company until he returns to you. We all know how much you miss him. It is the intense joy you feel when you see him that keeps the leaves so bright here, and the fruit so healthy. For that one moment outshines all the sadness in your heart, Priestess.
Kagome picked Kirara up, and scratched her ears. Oh, how those ears reminded her and Inuyasha! The cat purred loudly. "I know you will try to keep my company, but that still won't make up for the lack of his smell in the house, or the feel of his arms holding me as fall asleep. There are many types of companionship, and I have friends enough in all of you wonderful creatures, and I love you all, but it's different with Inuyasha."
Inuyasha traveled only for half a day. Unburdened by carrying Kagome and still fleet footed by spending the night with her, he covered ground as quickly as the wind. His stomach rumbled, and he knew it was time to stop. He looked around. Wasn't this near the place where that town was?
Sure enough, the town lay in front of him. He headed straight to the inn, and took a seat in the back, looking at the menu.
Yura was on duty. She was always on duty: she owned the restaurant! Acting as normal, she took his order, and made it. She knew who he was the moment his stench had polluted her diner. Yes, he was the prince, but he was also the man who had killed her beloved Hiten.
She pulled a glass vial out of the back of the restaurant. Ah, yes! Now the liquid boiled bright and blue, a lonely shade, to say the least, but when she added it to his drink of mild wine, it but fizzed and hissed a second. And then it was as still.
As still as he would be, soon enough!
She gave the glass to Inuyasha; he stared at the window like a man loss. All the better for her potion to act! Tasteless and odorless, even to the sharp senses of a demon, it clung to the five senses, and to the very mind and heart! It wove a web of dreams of bliss, and the sleeper would never want to awaken from such dreams!
Indeed, the plan was crafty, but how unfitting a woman scorned, a woman who did not wane in her love even after Hiten's beheading, and was now left with only a bitter shell, despite her porcelain exterior! But the spell was not simple or kind as this! It took the time of pleasured dreams to sink deeper into the body, spreading its poison until nothing could break it. Once attached, it grew, and boiled and bubbled inside the poison. Inuyasha would feel not a drop of pain as his heart destroyed himself from the inside out, but his dreams would disturb him. Like one's first love, they were inviting and sweet at first, but by the time the poison was about to kill him, it would be no less than agony to him as he watched all his nightmares be fulfilled!
Such was her plan, and he drank from the cup, oblivious to the draught it held, such would it be.
~*~
Sango was supposed to have met with Inuyasha two days ago. But he was late. Inuyasha was never late! Worried, she wrote a letter to Kagome. It sounded carefree and friendly, but Kagome would know that she was really asking where Inuyasha was. Should anybody intercept it, they would not know the secrets in contained.
But she still did not give up hope of waiting for Inuyasha to show up, and immediately wrote up a letter to explain that it was all a misunderstanding and that Inuyasha was safe and sound.
Sadly, Sango would never get to mail said letter.
~*~
Walking through the city, Miroku was deep in thought. So deep in thought he was that he didn't notice the old lady until he had walked into her. Apologizing profusely, he helped her pick up her apples that she had spilt. "I'm sorry, madam. I was… reflecting on my life. Unfortunately, reflecting only helps you look backwards, not forwards."
"Then perhaps you shouldn't do it when you're walking!" she pointed out in a toothless cackle. "If you need help, I have this monkey's paw….."
"No, thank you," Miroku said, standing up. "I must be continuing on my way. I have errands to run and places to bless… some to curse!"
She sighed heavily and brushed by him. "Well, if you don't want to get rid of that hole in your hand, I suppose that I can find somebody else…."
Suddenly he was in front of her again, kneeling down on one knee and taking her wrinkled hand in his. Miroku closed his eyes in silent respect. "I beseech that you forgive me for my ignorance! Please, forgive me, Grandmother. If you have any knowledge at all of how to get rid of this mistake, share it with me! Please, Grandmother."
The old woman cackled loudly again. "I know of a way to give you what it is you wish, but it comes with a high cost." She saw he looked confused and she smacked him. "The monkey's paw does nothing, you idiot! What? Were you thinking that you could replace this wrinkled paw with your hand or something, boy? Don't make me laugh! No, really, don't make me laugh. It hurts my lungs.
"I do not have the power to take off the mistake you made, monk, but I know who does. She will like a strong man like you. She does so like her men! But I warn you again, child, her price is steep!"
Miroku shook his head. "If it means that I can hold my wife in my hands, then I don't care how steep the cost his. Who is she? Where can I find her?"
The old woman told him where to find the Sorceress who could change Miroku into the man he was before the accident that had taken part of his hand from him. He left her with a smile on his face and hope in his heart. He could finally have some kind of clue as to how to rid himself of the glove! Although his wound would not kill him, he longed to hold Sango the way a woman liked her deserved to be held. He glanced over his shoulder to wave at the kind woman, but she was gone. Where had she gone?
Back in her cavern-like home, the lady Miroku had run into laughed. It was no longer a cackle. Likewise, she was no longer old, youthful. Yes, many things had changed about the "woman" he had run into! The trap had been set, and the prey was walking right into it!