Marching in Mayaka's Mind

On the day after Valentine's Day, only Chitanda and Oreki sit in the club room alone together. Without Mayaka or Satoshi, especially, the club room remains in a tranquil state. However, Oreki could not relax when Chitanda looks outside with a soft frown and dim eyes. She inhales deeply and just when Oreki thought she would let out a heavy sigh, she softly exhales. He relaxes and reads his book.

"Oreki-san,"

There it is. He waits to hear her all too familiar catchphrase but this time, he's not sure if he can do it this time.

"I…can I ask you something?" she lowers her eyes and vaguely fixes them on the table.

"What?" Ironically, he feels more curious about her question.

"I just…" she bites her lower lip and does not meet Oreki's eyes—her gaze solely fixing on the table— "If someone dedicated a large part of their time for someone they love, shouldn't they get some recognition, at least?" She saw all the effort her friend put into her gift yesterday and the result that played out leaves Chitanda dissatisfied.

She still isn't over what happened between Mayaka and Satoshi, he thinks. She isn't ready to hear his words, but he feels he must say them. "I'm not an expert and I don't really understand very well either but… love is complicated and sometimes people just don't want to get into a relationship for their own… reasons so if they do acknowledge the other person, they give hope to the other person—a hope that he… or she might crush later on." His eyes glance in her direction.

He saw her cry yesterday by mistake but today, he might be the cause of her slowly forming tears. She lightly jumps before she can shed a tear. Her phone had just vibrated so she checks her new message from Mayaka. Her face softens into a warm, relieved smile.

Mayaka is okay, or at least that's what her text said.

After Satoshi's phone call on Valentine's Day, Mayaka frequently changes her sleeping positions—no side feels comfortable anymore. When she finally relaxes, her mind drifts off. She tries to focus on all the positive things but in the end, her heart takes over and she softly sobs into her blanket and pillow. And the moment she let herself free, she begins to dream of her Fuku-chan.

When she first met Satoshi, nothing stood out about his looks, but his weird antics caught her attention. At first, whenever Satoshi dramatically hits the table with his fist and yelled at Oreki for winning, she assumed he was just one of those sore losers.

But so much more than that, when he extended his hand at friendship with her, for once, her heart beat happily. Mayaka didn't talk to people much; in fact, she indulged herself in her mangas so most people didn't approach her. She didn't mind the alienation because she plays with herself often. She never expressed her true self—leaving all of her unique traits to be overshadowed by her quiet solitude.

Their friendship together made her realize just how alone she was. At first, it frightened her because she didn't want to be dependent on him but she would never take it back. Her world had opened up and expanded. (She met the greatest friend a girl could ask for when entering high school but that was another story all together).

Finally, Mayaka can be as loud as she was meant to be, as expressive as she was meant to be, and as emotional as she was meant to be. Even when her tongue got sharp or her actions became harsh, he never walked away from their friendship so he made it into a special place in her heart. If anything else, Satoshi would never have to worry about being first with her but he doesn't know yet.

What went wrong? All the conditions were perfect. She researched various chocolate recipes, bought the specific tools with her own money, and spent hours adjusting the taste. Not to mention the courage it took to hand him chocolate with Oreki hanging around.

Satoshi didn't exactly say no. He avoided the direct approach in his special way but Mayaka still picked up on it. And when she did, she tore her carefully wrapped chocolate open and bit off a large piece. Her rage and frustration blew up in that moment then she declared that next year he couldn't possibly say no.

The chocolate was sweetly filled with all her effort and love but her aching heart was filled with bitter rejection.

Finally, this year would be different. She tried even harder and Chitanda was there to help her out. It didn't take as much time as it did when she first attempted. As she added the little decorations on top, she realized just how far she'd gone since last year on the same day. Maybe this time, he'd finally return her feelings.

On the day after Valentine's Day, Mayaka didn't intend to show up late to the Classics Club. She vents so much on drawing that her senpais made her stay to draw more. When she came back to her senses, she quickly heads out the door. As she walks to where the others are, she spots Satoshi, waiting at the steps. He finishes solving a rubix-cube upon her arrival.

"Fuku-chan?"

"Ah, Mayaka, yo!"

"Why aren't you in the club room already?"

"I was waiting for you."

"The whole time?"

"The whole time."

Her heart wants to sing, her eyes want to cry, and her fist wants to punch his face, but in that moment, she feels the same happiness she felt when they became friends.

"Thanks,"

He smiles at her and tilts his head towards the hallway. Last night's memories and feelings come back to her, but his grin removes those negative feelings. She remembers what she promised herself the night before even before that smile: She won't give up because she loves him. To her, there is no one else.

While they walk together, she sends Chitanda a small text: I'm heading over there with Fuku-chan. There's no need to worry anymore.

Sinking in Satoshi's Solicitude

When Satoshi blurts out random fun facts he learned, Mayaka listens when present; when he whispers one of his many epiphanies, she listens when present; when he used to rail at his unsatisfactory losses, she listens when present; when he feels spontaneous, she plays along when present; when he complains of the stacks of homework he must finish by tomorrow, she listens (and helps) when present; But he can't break her heart when she's present.

That's why he had to do it that way then.

He knows exactly how much time and effort she put into making that chocolate, both last year and this year. It truly was a masterpiece like she said when he saw it—he could tell she spent hours of pouring her heart and soul into making it. But he was a coward and afraid. He doesn't deserve Mayaka's chocolate, he believes. He isn't allowed to take even a small bite out of it because he didn't want to indulge in her heart without having anything to give in return. He's absolutely torn between a sort of melancholic happiness and terrible guilt.

He has less than five minutes before Chitanda returns. He doesn't know that but his own heart is tearing apart. He wants to be with Mayaka but he knows obsession leads to ruin and dissatisfaction. He's okay with ruining himself, but she cannot get caught up with that.

He knows full well that he is selfish and egotistical. It doesn't make sense to anyone else but him that he won't accept her chocolates. Yet no one else but he understands how his obsession will lead him to hurt Mayaka even more. He tried to win in a lot of things, only to receive half-assed results and eventually abandoning his drive. He won't allow the same thing to happen to Mayaka; she is just too precious in his heart.

He can't fit her sweet heart in his bag. He has already made his decision. He lifts up her chocolate, breaks it into smaller pieces, gently places the broken pieces into his bag, and quietly leaves the room.

He can't justify what he did, but the timing just wasn't right. He had matured a little bit since last year, but it isn't enough because relationships are different than being a sore loser. He hopes Mayaka can understand him because she seems to be the only one who does and he loves her for it. Yet he doesn't want to screw up what they already have. He knows Mayaka will understand that he loves her. He's just not ready.

He dials her phone number. "Hey…Can I talk to you for a bit?"

I do not own the characters or Hyouka.

Aqua: Listen to "Just Give Me a Reason" by Pink and Fun. It's oddly fitting for this ship.