When Thomas Barrow first saw Jimmy Kent, he was immediately attracted to the young man. His blond hair looked soft and was perfectly in place, just as his own black hair was. His eyes were a nice blue, much like his own. He had soft skin; a very good complexion. Pink and soft-looking lips, a squared and masculine jaw. Thomas considered him to be quite adorable; cute with a hint of masculinity. He had a nice body, as well; Jimmy was fit. He was slender with some muscle; smaller than Thomas was, but that only further pleased him. Thomas wanted Jimmy badly; but he had to be careful; very careful. He couldn't risk losing his job; he wanted to remain valet in the Downton Abbey, not be kicked out; then he'd be more meaningless than a second footman. He would be nothing. He might even be sent to prison for being the way he was; a shock, a disgrace; disgusting.
Still Thomas had a hard time with keeping his hands off the younger man, especially as he got to know him further. Not only did Jimmy have such soft and alluring skin, but in Jimmy, Thomas saw himself. He was lonely, just as he was. He put up a front, just as he did. He was cunning, intelligent; looked at the world differently than most. And so he would touch Jimmy, partly to see how he would react, and partly because he couldn't not touch him, especially when he was so often given the opportunity. And Jimmy wouldn't slap his hands away, or look at him with disgust; he allowed it; perhaps liked it, Thomas had thought.
When O'Brien had told him that Jimmy only ever talked on and on about him to Alfred, Thomas had become so filled with hope. When he went into his room that night for rest, it was all he could think about.
'He would have me...' thought Thomas; and the idea of it made his heart race, made his palms sweat. He was hot and bothered by the ideas that went through his mind. Of the idea that he would no longer be alone, of the idea of being loved and admired by another person. By Jimmy; such a beautiful young man. He thought of pressing his lips against Jimmy's, of slowly and sensually removing his clothes, planting kisses all along his body. He thought of Jimmy kissing him back, smiling a grand smile as they touched each other. Thomas thought of taking Jimmy into his mouth, as he had done to Philip, the Duke of Crowborough, during that Summer in London when the Crawley's had visited. He wondered if Jimmy would let him take things further; if Jimmy would allow him to penetrate, or be penetrated. It was something Thomas gravely needed and desired; only in his teens, before he was a footman at the Downton Abbey, had he ever had intercourse. It had been quite a long time, and Thomas was both lonely and sexually under stimulated.
He had been more anxious than ever before but he'd made his way out of his bedroom and to Jimmy's. Quietly opened his door, stepped into his room and sat down on the younger man's bed to kiss him, gently. And then it all fell apart; Jimmy pushed him away, angrily and aggressively; showed his outright disgust. And Alfred had seen all of it. It had by far been the worst experience of Thomas' life; it had been hurtful, had made him incredibly anxious and he'd almost lost his job because of it.
And though Jimmy seemed to despise him, Thomas continued to stick up for the blond, and he would not allow one bad word to be said about him, because he truly loved Jimmy; whether the younger man loved him in return or not.
The end.