Choices
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Noah screamed at me.
I started to cry. I didn't know what I wanted.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" he screamed again. "What…Allie, what do you want?" he asked again, calmly this time.
I shook my head, my eyes full of tears, I didn't know. I was torn between Noah and Lon, two men whom I loved very much. When I shook my head, his expression shifted from anger and frustration to hurt and disappointment. It broke my heart to see him like that.
I've never stopped loving Noah. Deep down, I always knew he'd never stopped loving me too. But I was with Lon now. He loved me very much, and I him. So who do I choose to spend my life with, Noah or Lon? Who's heart do I break?
When I'm with Lon, I'm always happy. We never fight, and we love each other very much. As much as I love him, when I'm with him, it feels like a part of me is missing. Lon's sweet, charming, romantic, and I'm happy with him. He loves me. But with him, it doesn't quite seem right. Something's missing.
But when I'm with Noah, everything is different. We always fight. But we love each other so much that we always get through it. When I'm with Noah, I don't feel restricted, or worried about what people think of me like I do when I'm with Lon. I feel free, and happy. Noah and I always have fun, everyday is a new adventure. Noah's funny, sweet, romantic, and a good guy. He loves me so much, and I return his love. When I'm with Noah, I feel so…..complete.
When I left to meet with my mother, she'd given me Noah's letters. He'd written me everyday for a year. Three hundred and sixty five letters declaring his love for me. So I went to see Lon. I apologized for all of the trouble I'd caused, and then told him that I couldn't be with him. He was heart broken, I could tell, but all he wanted was for me to be happy.
When I got into my car to go back to Noah, I saw the letters. I spent hours reading each and every one of them. Each one brought tears to my eyes. Noah had never given up on me. I picked up the last letter, my whole body trembling. I opened the envelope and read:
Dearest Allie,
This is the 365th letter I've written you. Your lack of responses tells me that you don't love me anymore, but the love we once shared will never fade out of my heart. I will always love you.
My dear Allie, I will never stop loving you, but I can't spend my life chasing something that I can't have. I will forever be waiting for you if you ever decide to come back to me. My arms will always be willing to hold you, my lips yearning to kiss you. My heart will always be yours, if ever you decide that you want it.
My love for you is like a fire never extinguished, a wave forever rolling, the wind forever blowing, the sun always shining. As I constantly say, I will forever love you. I will always be waiting. My dearest Alison, I love you.
Forever yours,
Noah Calhoun
I burst into tears for the millionth time that day. I lay across the back seat of my car, curled up, and cried. I cried because I didn't deserve someone as wonderful as Noah. Because I was in love. Because after everything I'd done to Noah, he still loved me, and still wanted me.
When I arrived back at Noah's house, I saw him step onto the balcony. He gave me the biggest smile. A smile that said thank you. A smile that said I love you. A smile that said don't ever leave me again. I smiled back and ran into his waiting embrace. I looked up into his beautiful blue eyes and smiled once more. He pulled me into a tight embrace, and then he kissed me. I kissed him back hungrily. Everything was right now. We were both truly happy for the first time in a long time, and our hearts completed one another's. We shared another smile, for we had our whole lives ahead of us to love each other, and to be together.
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