One-Liners
A/N: So, I was sitting around, reading some stuff, and then I started thinking about No More Heroes, and how whenever Travis kills an enemy or finishes a combo, he always says something along the lines of "Fuckhead!" or "Bastard!" So, I decided to write this. Enjoy.
Travis Touchdown was doing the usual: kicking ass and stabbing enemies. Hacking and slashing through the wall of Mooks, he continued to taunt each and every one of them.
"Fuckhead!" Travis laughed as he bisected a nearby foe. "Bitchass!" he cheered, ramming his blade into another opponent.
"Travis, I've noticed something..." Henry Cooldown, Travis's Irish twin brother, began as they took a break.
"Yeah, what is it?" the otaku asked as he opened a can of soda and began drinking it.
"When you kill these thugs, have you bothered realizing you spew the same one-liners everytime you kill one?"
"What? What the fuck do you mean by that?"
"I mean like this...you stab Blood Berry or Rose Nasty through your opponent's chest and then taunt them by saying something like 'Fuckhead' or "strawberry on the shortcake" or 'bastard' or 'you're a joke'. Did you ever notice?"
"Uh...no...now that I think about it...no I haven't. Am I really that fucking repetitive?"
"Yes, yes you are. It's as if you were scripted to say those things randomly whenever you kill someone. I swear, the random phrase generator is constantly choosing you to say the same goddamn thing twice in a row sometimes."
"Holy shit..." Travis hung his head, rather pissed off that one of the worst flaws a character can have applied to him. "Any ideas how I could fix that?"
"No, not really..." Henry said gently, noticing his brother's sad expression.
"What if I just start saying something else?"
"No, don't do that. You'll just become a broken record with the new phrases too."
"We'll see about that." Travis drew the dual swords Rose Nasty and ran back to the fray, slicing his foes to ribbons as he shouted newer things like "rosey fucking bud!" and "caramel apple supreme!"
Henry just sighed and shook his head. To be expected of Travis, not to listen to a word anyone tells him.
"Ye fucking idiot..." Henry grumbled and began helping his idiot sibling kill the rest of the enemies.
A/N: So, how was it? Didn't sound as good on paper (or word document, if you will) as it did in my head, but as a friend of mine once said, nothing ever sounds as good as it did in your head.