Reality of Anxiety.
Part I: LIKED

I.1. Nobody Likes Me

"Go." Watanuki gently whispered to her. The pigtailed girl looked nervous.

"You should do what he says." Doumeki encouraged her.

"But… what if I…"

The bi-coloured boy smiled at her.

"You'll never know until you try. Remember what I said to that twin."

"I know that guy. He is the son of a famous shaman in Okinawa." The archer added.

"Yeah, that's right, he might have this jerk's ability. Besides, you've got Tanpopo!" His friend smiled.

Himawari tried to maintain her upbeat smile. As always, a random boy had confessed his love to her but this particular one had the nerve to do it in front of her raven haired friends. She expected the following reactions: Watanuki angrily spinning around and Doumeki's stoic, unchangeable face. However, the first one had given her a heart-warming smile and the second one, nodded.

"Please, go out with me." The man repeated once again.

The sweet girl's mouth opened and closed like a startled goldfish. She knew about the harm she could cause. That's why she always tried not to fall in love with someone… but she loved both Doumeki and Watanuki… which was so wrong.

"I'm… so…" She felt her lips spreading apart. "Yes, we can go on a date sometime."

She grabbed his hand and the lovesick blushed. Himawari wanted to test if he really was immune to her bad luck. When she turned over, her only true friends were out of sight. She smiled looking nowhere in particular.

"You'll never know until you try…" She whispered.

"I'm so happy for her."

"I thought you liked her." Doumeki stopped walking and looked at him, afraid that those words would have hurt his food supplier.

"I thought so, at first…"

The archer looked deeply into his eyes, demanding the pure and immaculate true.

"Yeah, I liked her, so what?"

They resumed walking.

"Nobody liked me, they all thought I was weird. But she was the only one that smiled at me. It didn't matter where she was, she would always approach me to ask me how I was going. She cared for me. I felt less lonely."

The taller boy remembered those words.

"I will die alone"

So, even after meeting her, he still felt alone.

"If you had really loved her, then you would have not felt alone." He thought aloud on purpose.

"I told you, big oaf, I felt less lonely! I liked her! And why do you think I felt alone? Most of all, how? Gee, you sure creep me out."

Less lonely meant loneliness was still there. To like is not the same as love. Those thoughts crossed over both boys' minds.

"Anyway, we should encourage her, right?"

Doumeki thought that 'right' sounded highly threatening.

"Yeah" he nodded.

They continued to walk forward along the 1st floor corridor towards nowhere special.

"…hey…" Watanuki asked shyly.

"What?"

"Have you ever had a girlfriend?"

They've know each other for a long time. However, none of them knew the past lives of the other one. Doumeki smiled on the inside. The seer was acknowledging him as a friend. The first and most obvious sign was when he thanked him. Now, he wanted to know more about him. Most of all, they were having a casual conversation. Shouting and Spatzing were fun and okay once in a while but he sometimes felt in the past that he needed to talk to him this way.

"Nope."

As always his answers were never made to satisfy. This time he did it on purpose. He wanted Watanuki to ask him more and awaken that curiousity. He felt that this way they would become closer and he would fulfill his promise: Not letting him die alone.

"Huh? Really?" He became amazed. Lots of girls chased him and, sure, there had to be at least one girl that he was attracted to. Perhaps he has never…

"Have you ever fallen in love?"

"Never."

Watanuki thought he was lying. Many people have even small crushes during their lifetimes. It was perfectly normal. 'What is he, an ameba!?'

"That's impossible! I mean, you should have even had crushes!"

He felt ticklish sensations when Watanuki cooked specially for him or when he smiled. He wasn't sure if they were crushes. Plus, he didn't like dealing with complex feelings. Whenever Watanuki thanked him or smiled cutely at him, he would immediately try to brush that feeling off, by telling him that he was dropped on the head as a baby. It was easier dealing with more simple feelings. Deep inside, he was just scared of rejection.

"No."

"You're hopeless. I've had various crushes! Himawari was the longest crush of all! I don't have any crushes right now but I'll have one."

"Girlfriend?"

The shorter boy blushed.

"No… But I'll have one. A very pretty one!"

"So those are the kinds of girl you like?"

"Umm…, I really don't have a specific type." Watanuki looked closely at him. "I don't know why but you look like the kind of guy to marry someone who is the perfect lady: flower arrangement, always wearing a kimono, shy, excellent cook, cleans, delicate and beautiful. Like those women in TV."

"I believe I fit those qualities."

Both boys turned around. A girl with very short hair and determined eyes looked at them. They felt they knew her but could remember well.

"Um... well… sorry to interrupt you…"

Her attitude changed completely. She looked shy and fragile.

"I'm Mattaki Rie… Um… Doumeki-kun?"

"Yeah?"

"… Thanks for saving me… Even though I attacked you with a paperknife! …. When I woke up and regained consciousness, the first thing I saw was your face… you carried me, remember?"

'Ah, so she's the girl who got possessed by the fallen angel.' Watanuki thought.

"No problem."

"Wait."

Doumeki turned around as a signal that he was leaving and he was expecting the other boy to follow him. However, the latest shot him a glare that clearly read 'Couldn't-you-be-more-cold!' so, for his stomach's sake, he decided to stay.

"I… I like you."

'Great, another Doumeki-fan! What's up with Watanuki fans, aren't there any, why always Doumeki, certainly I should get a bit of attention as well!'

"Sorry."

"I won't take no for an answer."

'Woah, this girl sure is pushy. I wonder if Doumeki is used to dealing with girls like her.' Watanuki felt a little bit of both admiration and jealousy.

"I clean, I cook wonderfully, I'm quiet and reserved, never complain… I'm your type…"

"Don't get me wrong. I'm not a male chauvinist."

"Yeah, as if! You got me all day cooking and cleaning your place!" Rie dodged elegantly both thin arms that rose into the air and covered a 2m radio.

"But you're not a girl."

"But sometimes you make me feel like one!"

"So that's your view on girls. You're sure a male chauvinist."

"Ehhh! I dare you to repeat that again!"

Rie stared at both of them. She remembered that the boy who was shouting at 100 dB was looking at her during the festival before she fainted.

"I don't mind cooking and cleaning, it's perfectly normal for me!"

She remembered he looked at her with a strange glance.

"If so, clean my place and make inari sushi."

At first, she thought he stared out of curiosity or even, he despised her due to what she had done to that man who did not apologize to her.

"Hell, no! Do it yourself!"

But now that her mind's getting cleared, she also remembered that guy looked at her during school day.

"So you do mind. You are a chauvinist."

Perhaps…

"Gr…Grahhhhh! I don't mind as long as it is not for you!"

Perhaps…

"For Kohane, Himawari and Yuuko-san?"

She was pretty sure that maybe…

"Of course! But not for you!"

The boy with glasses had a crush on her.

"They're all women and you don't mind. I'm a man and you mind. Typically chauvinistic."

She knew that boy stared at her but she didn't care because she thought it would not harm her.

"EVEN IF YOU WERE A WOMAN I'D NEVER DO THAT FOR YOU! And you, a man? You're a lazy bump! You're just… just a DOUMEKI for God's sake! A DOUMEKI! A DOUMEKI-!!!!"

"I'm sorry!" Rie interrupted, looking at Watanuki.

"Huh?"

Rie felt inside a love triangle. Watanuki liked her, she liked Doumeki and it'd be complete if Doumeki loved Watanuki, which, in her opinion, was pretty stupid but would make a perfect triangle.

"Ah! Rie-chan!" Her girlfriends approached her and looked at Doumeki. "Oh, you're a lucky girl!"

"Eh?" She blushed, smiling.

"He really was a like a prince out of the fairy tale! We found you unconscious, being embraced by his strong arms! You looked so delicate and he looked so brave… he saved you!"

Watanuki's mouth opened on his own to say something but decided to leave it at that. After all, every day was 'Ignore Watanuki Day' and Doumeki got all of the credit.

"His hand was bleeding…" The girl continued, very enthusiastic "… since you attacked him, but he did not take a step back and saved you!"

'What about me? I was there!' the bicoloured eyed teen thought.

The bell rang.

"Anyway, you two were made for each other!"

Rie blushed. She had a shy expression. When Watanuki looked at her, she gave him an apologetic look.

"I'm glad that girl is ok. I was afraid she would stay comatose forever."

Since Yuuko was not in the shop, Watanuki decided to stay there and look after it. "Yeah."

"She really seems to like you."

"Yeah."

He knew that when Yuuko came back, she'd make him clean the mess and having to clean a place that was left abandoned for a week… and on top of that huge… and on top of that serving alcohol… and dinner… and…

"Oi. You're making weird faces."

"So! It's not your problem!"

"Everyone's watching."

Watanuki blushed and decided to concentrate on another thing.

"That girl really seems to like you." He repeated.

"Does it matter to you?"

"Of course it does since someone would bring you bentos. Besides, you'll leave me alone at last!"

"You want me to leave you alone?"

"Of course I wa-"

'What's happening?' Watanuki thought. 'I'm feeling something strange in my chest… somehow my body feels colder. Why am I getting a chill down my spine?'

"Oi. You okay?"

"Why can't you speak properly, at least say 'ARE you okay?' Gees, you drive me-"

"…Insane."

He turned around and saw a group of girls chatting, wearing gray uniforms with a red bowtie. In the middle, there was a pretty teen with brown, straight hair.

"I feel like I've become insane. Those spirits… they've never left me alone. They keep telling me I'm their salvation… I'm… I'm going insane…"

"You should pay a visit to the temple. They say the late priest's grandson is an exorcist. And he's good looking as well."

"You...you're right. Maybe I need that kind of help."

"We'll go with you, Nise-chan."

"Yes, let's head towards the temple now."

Nise, the girl that Watanuki met the first day he encountered Yuuko, covered her head with her hands and started to scream.

"Nise!"

Both teens approached the girl, at different speed intervals, i.e one running, and the other walking calmly.

"Please, calm down." Watanuki begged. "There's nothing behind you or possessing you right now. I'm very sure of that so please, calm down. You're safe now."

"It's you! You said those things to her before. You can't understand her pain, she's special! Stop bothering her! Most people don't believe her! You can't imagine how hard is for her to deal with those things!"

Watanuki heard a chuckle.

Which came from behind.

Which belonged to a male voice.

And the only male there apart from him was Doumeki.

Doumeki had chuckled. And the girls were not pleased.

"Who laughed at her?" The nosy girls asked.

Watanuki flailed around, unsure what to do to get the jerk out of that mess.

"Eh… he remembered a… a… a Chuck Norris joke I told him!"

"Chuck Norris jokes aren't funny."

"… Well, he thinks they are. I told him 'Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead' " He laughed nervously. 'Bad choice!' he thought and sighed.

"You chuckled! Stop pretending!" One of the girls shouted.

"Eh! Umm…"

"I chuckled." Doumeki said.

"You're such a gentleman. Taking blame for others..." Another girl added. She looked lovestruck.

Watanuki sweatdropped. As always, he was ignored. Doumeki always got the credit.

"Anyway, we're going to see the priest's grandchild. Let's go Nise-chan. Nise-chan?"

Said girl stared at Doumeki with troubled eyes and left.

'With the twins… Rie… even Yuuko… they all like Doumeki more than me…'

The taller boy looked at the seer, who was engulfed in a gloomy atmosphere.

"Let's go."

'Doumeki. Doumeki. Doumeki. Just Doumeki this, Doumeki that.'

"…"

'Doumeki, the good student. Doumeki, the most handsome guy. Doumeki, the top athlete. Doumeki, the powerful exorcist. Doumeki, the knowledgeable. Doumeki, loved by others. Doumeki, the-'

"Oi. Are you okay."

"I… I want to go home."

"I'll go with you."

"… I want to go home… alone… the spirits have stopped following me so… I… I don't need your help."

He was right. He wasn't' sure if he could say that his wish was granted but it looked like it.

'Doumeki… he protected me… because he was a show off and would do that for anyone! And if not like if he cared about me… he was always being called by Yuuko! He even said me 'Yuuko called me'! He did all those things for me because Yuuko asked him!'

"…and… I don't want to see you. Good bye!" Watanuki ran as fast as he could. When he reached the door of his apartment, he turned around, secretly hoping that Doumeki had run after him. However he wasn't there.

'Because Yuuko is not here and he doesn't need to.'

He opened the door and closed it before he collapsed on the floor, crying. He felt so confused.

"Nobody likes me, they all think I'm weird."

A.N: Rei is the girl that appeared in episode 13: Fallen.