pHer nail polish was chipped, and her nails had grown out a bit since she'd last painted them. Metallic gold, the shimmering color was eye catching and Rose enjoyed how the light reflected off of it. She'd even noticed the Doctor noticing, last week when the polish was fresh and new. Now, it was flaking and chipped and old. Just like me apparently, she thought. She felt like chipped nail polish. Scuffed and used next to the pristine brilliance of the Royal Courtesan./p

p Reinette Poisson. Even Rose had to admit that she was beautiful and intriguing. No wonder she'd enchanted the Doctor. She'd seemed incredibly enchanting. In any other circumstance Rose would've also been enchanted, but she couldn't help the pangs of jealousy and resentment that echoed through her as she watched the Doctors' infatuation with the woman grow. It's like Rose could actually see him falling in love. /p

pThe Doctor was falling in love with the Uncrowned Queen of France, nothing more than a fancy whore. Rose snorted and began laughing. The idea was completely ridiculous. For a moment she imagined him as he was when she'd first met him. All broody and black leather jacket, trying his hand at romance to woo the Kings mistress. The mental imagery was so hilarious that she choked. Holding her sides from laughing so hard, Mickey regarded her warily./p

p"You ok?"/p

pShe just nodded, waving him off and wiping at the tears leaking from her eyes. "Yeah. Thought of something funny s'all."/p

pMickey frowned. "You're in denial, Rose. Some boyfriend the Doctor turned out to be. He left you for another woman! Left both of us, and now I'm gonna die in this place." He was pacing back and forth, like he'd been doing for the past 3 hours. Insulting the Doctor and whining about how it was just his luck, to get forgotten about his first trip out.

Mickey was a decent bloke, and Rose realized she'd not been fair to him. Leaving with the Doctor without calling things off with Mickey properly. Even so, her guilt over how she'd treated him wasn't quite so bad as she realized all the reasons it would have never worked between them even if she'd not left with the Doctor./p

p"He's not my boyfriend, Micks. We're not like that." Rose told him quietly./p

pMickey snorted. "You sure about that, babe?" He continued to pace and grumble and Rose tuned him out as she chewed her thumb. /p

pShe'd realized that she loved the Doctor before he'd changed. Back when she'd asked to see her dad. He'd sacrificed himself to a Reaper to save a church full of people and in that moment she'd known. Not the way she knew now, but it was really the defining moment when she knew that he mattered to her. For all her flirting with Adam and Jack, it was the Doctor she fancied. She was positive she'd mattered to him back then as well, and after he'd changed the boundaries between them became more and more...questionable./p

pThis new version was more bubbly, tactile, affectionate and a teasing flirt. It was a puzzle to her, trying to figure out if his flirting with her meant anything or not. They'd become comfortable, close, and something a bit more than just best mates. Rose sighed, running her hands through her hair. No, the Doctor in his last body wouldn't be off romancing anyone. Too domestic. This new man though, Rose was still learning what he was capable of./p

pIt was her emotions that were truly troubling her, because even as she'd known she fancied the Doctor, she only recently admitted to herself it's more than a simple schoolgirl crush on an older man. Watching him first with Sarah Jane, then with Reinette, it writhed in the pit of her stomach. She was properly in love with him. Thinking back, she could swear he felt similarly. Her feelings of betrayal were simmering painfully as she watched while he skipped happily into infatuation...with someone else./p

pRose tilted her head back against the metal paneling and tracked Mickey as he paced loops around the room. It was annoying. He was annoying. With her own emotions in turmoil she couldn't carry his as well./p

p"Go back to the Tardis, Mickey. There'll be food in the kitchen. The Doctor could be a while yet, go on and have your tea."/p

pMickey bristled, recognizing the dismissal for what it was./p

p"While you do what, Rose? Sit there til your arse is numb, alone, while he's off havin' 'is fill? You waiting on him, worrying about him all while he's off forgetting about you!"/p

pRose bristled back and pushed herself up to stand facing him./p

p"That's not fair! One thing I've learned while traveling with the Doctor is that things are rarely so simple as they seem. Yeah, I know what it looks like, but anything could be happening!"/p

p"Oh, I'm sure anything is happening!" Mickey smirked. /p

p"Shut up Mickey! For your information it doesn't matter. He could be off shagging his way through Solomon's Harem, and it doesn't matter! He could be well and truly stuck there and it doesn't matter! He's a Time Lord! He sees variables we could never even imagine and he would never allow himself to truly lose the Tardis."/p

p"Fine!" Mickey shouted back as he threw his hands up in surrender. "So act like you don't care. If he makes it back it's not for you. It's certainly not because I mean anything to him. It's only for that blue box! You remember that!"/p

pRose stumbled back into the wall as Mickey stomped off toward the Tardis. His words stinging as if he'd slapped her. She was making excuses for the Doctor, and Mickey saw right through her. Why does the truth have to hurt? /p

pTrying to swallow the heaviness in her throat, she tried to tell herself that everything was going to be ok. That the Doctor would come bouncing back, full of energy from a job well done and excited anticipation for the next adventure. That he would grab her hand and they would run, like always, grinning like mad as they faced the monsters together. /p

pLike normal./p

pRose squared her shoulders, stuffing down her uncertainty. /p

p"This is ridiculous," she whispered to herself. "I know the Doctor. I know him, so I know he's coming back."/p