Play nice
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer had a bottle of Jim Bean and 22 years of bitter regret.
He rocks back in his chair and pours the liquor into a Frosty the Snowman mug.
Each time the condensation of his whiskey soaked breath clears, he sees the others gathered together at a bar. All giggling while dexterously holding martini glasses in between their hooves.
Comet shows the gang a video on his iPhone of Santa giving Timothy Wright, an 8 year old leukemia sufferer the teddybear he always wanted.
The child's smile was so big, Rudolph could make it out on the 4 inch screen almost 20 yards away.
Cupid stands and delivers a rousing speech on how beautiful the work they do is, while A tear of joy forms in Vixen's eye. Donner punctuates the occasion in his usual belushi-esque party animal manner by ordering another round of margaritas after they clink their glasses in celebration
While Rudolph sits alone.
When Rudolph was 2 they all laughed together.
When Rudolph was 5 there was silence.
When Rudolph was 7 he realized that they didn't want him around anymore.
When he was 14, Rudolph mustered the courage to ask if he could join them.
"Hey, Blitzen"
"Oh, sup?"
"Not much. It's been a while since we talked and all-"
"Listen buddy I need to get going but-"
Rudolph awkwardly cuts him off before giving him a window to slither away.
"C-Can I join you guys on the next run?"
Blitzen heaves the sigh of an engine breaking down to a crawl. You see, there is this liability that Rudolph possesses. Imagine flying through the brutal 200 mile hour arctic winds. Santa shielding himself from the gusts and ripping snow, when a bright red light blinds him out of nowhere. Thinking its a plane, Claus banks a hard left so tight the sleigh snaps off it's hinges. Presents, screams, and dislodged reigns accompany Saint Nick on his fatal journey into the night sky. No one wants to have the nose that ended christmas.
'...Well what am I suppose to do?'
'You'll figure it out buddy, I'm sure of it'
Blitzen pats him on the shoulder before heading off to the next run.
Had Santa the foresight to hire a reindeer therapist. An oddly specific occupation that could have helped Rudolph avoid the problems that arise in an environment where you are the sole member of your litter not spreading holiday cheer to every single good boy and girl on the planet.
Had the other reindeer the desire to engage rather brush him off because they had their own shit to deal with.
Things might have ended differently
Rudolph put the frosty mug down after a long swig. He glowers for 5 minutes as the liquid courage inside him reached a boil.
Bursting out from the cottage, the gang turns to see Rudolph's teetering legs as they stumbles towards them.
'What about me huh?!'
He yells as he recovers from one of his dips into the snow.
'Let me be one of you. I know I can do it. Just make it stop and let me on board!'
Dasher signals 'I got this' to his alarmed friends.
He pokes his head out the bar door and with the kind of harsh smoothness that would make an angel shatter:
'Who would ever want someone like you you to guide them?'
In Dasher's expression, Rudolph sees the alcohol soaked mess he's looking down on.
Not burdening them with any more words, he uses the last ounce of his strength to pull himself back to home and the last bit of will not to cry.
Then one foggy christmas eve, Rudolph put a 44. caliber pistol between his antlers.
And painted the back of his little cottage
Red.
Upon arriving at the scene the elves found a note.
'I wish that we lived in a world where people paid attention to christmas songs
Where we let our differences shine and bring us together then tear us apart
That people look around and understand the consequences
when the outcome isn't always the right one
I just ask that next time
For some little reindeer's sake
we all play nice'