Warning: if you haven't watched the promo for the next episode - Chuck vs The Lethal Weapon - this story won't make much sense. There's a very small spoiler on this one, but again, if you haven't watched the promo you won't even notice it...
It basically takes place, im my mind at least, after agent Cole returns from an apparent fire/explosion and after the mission of the episode - whatever that will be - ends and Cole is ready to leave. So, Chuck and Cole are wondering if Sarah will want to leave with him and how she feels about both of them...
The lyrics are from Never Be The Same by Red.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything...
-- Chuck Versus The Unknown Hope --
"First that kiss and now the whole getting back from the dead thing and Sarah all over him. Great! It just gets better and better... What is this guy anyway? Some sort of super hero?"
Walking into his room, collapsing onto his bed and he can still feel it. It's like the world has stopped spinning, no voices, no sounds, no nothing. It aches and although he tries hard he can't seem to find a way to end this pain because every time he closes his eyes that's all he can see. Sarah – his Sarah – in the arms of another guy. Not just another guy, a better guy, he thought. He can remember himself looking into the screen and searching for her eyes, for any clues that could tell him she loved him, Chuck, not that super bad ass spy... or if that's too much to ask of her he just hoped that maybe he could open his eyes and find out it was all a nightmare. It wasn't.
I know you, who are you now?
look into my eyes if you can't remember
do you remember? oh!
I can say, i can still find
you're the only voice my heart can recognize
but I can't hear you now, yeah!
"Okay, look, the sooner we get the Cypher back the sooner you can have the intersect removed and the sooner you can be free to live whatever life you choose with whomever you choose..."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying you can have everything that you've always wanted"
Chuck knew she said that to control him, but part of him wanted to believe she wasn't lying... she couldn't be... Sometimes it felt so real between them and that's all he wants to hold on to right now. He wants to hope, to hope that someday it can actually become real.
I'll never be the same
I'm caught inside the memories
the promises, our yesterdays
and I belong to you
I just can't walk away
cause after loving you
I can never be the same
This is how he's spending the night. Memories suffocating him. Unstoppable flashes of the small amount of time he got to spend with her and every time it seemed like a smile would start to form on his face... he remembered seeing her with Cole. Somehow he felt like he had already lost her... if not for Cole than for someone else...
and how can I pretend I never knew you
like it was all a dream, no!
I know I'll never forget
the way i always felt with you beside me
and how you loved me then, yeah!
"So... I'm heading back to England, hopefully. Maybe you should come. You know, you could handle the security details cause the last guy you sent wasn't very... efficient... And I'd much rather be handled by a female agent, specially one as beautiful as you … ..."
As he talks to her he's charming as always, his accent is almost irresistible... and it's even sweeter when he gives small laughs between the sentences. Besides that, he's brave and brilliant. Any female spy would actually think of him as the perfect guy. But just right in this moment, when Sarah feels all the compliments that are about to leave his mouth, she can't help it and her mind drifts off to another time, another place, with somebody else and all that charm loses its power... She can't hear what Cole's saying anymore...
"A girl like you... or more properly, a woman like you. Considering the fact you could probably kick the ass of everyone in this joint. And a... smart woman that.. not to mention cool and extremely beautiful..."
No... it wasn't the words the made her heart beat faster as she recalled the moment. Cole, the day they kissed before he was captured, and Bryce, many times while they were together had said similar things to her, even more eloquently maybe... No... it's the who says the words that makes all the difference and Sarah knows it... She's been denying it for quite a while now but it doesn't mean she doesn't know it... She knows well that Chuck – the clumsy nerd, that's true – is the only one who has that effect on her. He had changed her in ways she didn't know were possible.
I'll never be the same
I'm caught inside the memories
the promises, our yesterdays
and I belong to you
I just can't walk away
cause after loving you
I can never be the same
If anyone asked her, she probably wouldn't know how to explain why she kissed Cole at first place. Ever since she met Chuck there's been always Bryce, Lou, Bryce again, Jill, General Beckman, the CIA, the NSA – and the to-be-hated-list keeps going on and on - coming in between them. Every single time one of them thought it could actually work for real the other did or said something that hurt just too deeply. Maybe being there with Cole was just her unconscious self taking the easy way out or maybe the jealous self trying to erase all those memories of Chuck more-than-kissing Jill off her mind.
you left me here
then I watched you disappear
you left this emptiness inside
and I can't turn back time
Truth is they've hurt each other enough already and odds are they'll do it plenty more times. But it didn't matter much. It didn't matter she had allowed herself to kiss Cole because it didn't really mean anything to her and it didn't matter she would still not be able to open herself up with Chuck - it's still complicated after all. What matters is she needs to be close to him because she can't go back to being the person she was before, because she needs to be there in case fate decides to work in their favor, because besides it all she needs and loves him - Chuck.
no, stay!
nothing compares to you
nothing compares to you
I can't let you go
can't let you go
I can't let go!
I'll never be the same
not after loving you, not after loving you
no!
"Uh, sorry, hi?"
"What?" She says getting back to herself.
"It seemed like you had taken a plane before me somehow. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I was just... just thinking some things over."
"Is this about the Chuck guy? 'Cause I've been trying to convince you to come with me for the last 20 minutes. I've torn all my charm out, I think, and yet I got no reaction from you and somehow it seems to have something to do with him... just a professional opinion..."
"Chuck? No, we... I mean... he's my asset... It's nothing like that."
"Trust me, darling. We're both spies. You're trained to lie and I'm trained to perceive lies. Anyone that's not blind can see there's something going on between you two."
"Sorry... Don't know what to say to you..."
"It's okay. You don't have to. I'll be gone in a few... don't worry about it. But... before I go... I'd like to ask just one thing if that's fine."
Sarah silently nodded...
"Forgive me if I say something that offends you but from what I've seen there are lots of reasons why you two can't be together and I assume it won't happen anytime soon, if it happens. So, why? Why are you choosing to stay here with him when I'm offering you a life full of excitement and love and all that you seem to long for?"
She looks at Cole and thinks for a second. She can imagine and feel Chuck in his room hurting about seeing them the last few days, she can see the pain in his eyes that will probably last a while. Even though Chuck doesn't know it and she won't tell him, she's hurting just as much because she'd rather be by his side all this time. And she can also think of all the reasons she has to leave – she's compromised, he's sick and tired of all the lies, they're both hurt. Maybe... maybe it would be easy to just walk away...
I'll never be the same
I'm caught inside the memories
the promises, our yesterdays
and I belong to you
I just can't walk away
cause after loving you
I can never be the same
I can never be the same
I will never be the same
oh, oh, oh
oh, oh
….Not really....
"When you meet somebody you care about it's hard to walk away."
I just can't walk away
no I can't walk away..
from you