Title: My hell
Athores: lilkagome
Warnings: Some bad langauge, and suicide thoughts.
Pairings: S&S, N&H, N&T
Chapter title: The mission
Disclaimer: Do you think I own it? Yeah... I didn't think so.
OoO
I've seen hell, that dark place where no soul can properly breathe, where lives are nothing, and hearts are shattered. I've been there, watching as the one I loved so eagerly led me to slaughter. Was I dead?
No, I was living through the hell that no one had expected, i'm living through the loss of Uchiha Sasuke. I stare up at the darkened sky, only hoping for it to cry so I will not. So much pain cannot be held back for long, we can only hope to die before we spill the truth.
I stand on a bridge, a bridge that holds memories of a time long past, and a heart long smashed. "You were everything." I said in a shallow tone as I threw a rock into the shallow water.
Now-an ANBU ninja- I would have to kill the only one I ever loved, and for what? Spite? No... for law. I sighed as I clenched my fist, yet again fighting off the ever growing amount of unshed tears.
I was a medic nin, and was now going to go on one of the most dangerous, and most heartbreaking missions ever. I held my kunai in my fist, watching as my knuckles turned whit on the cold metal.
"You were never meant to be." I sighed as the small amount of blood ran down the blade of my kunai. "We were never meant to be." I said watching it drip to the ground as I stiffened. "You were never... Mine." I said once more my words falling in the darkness of night, the cold wind hitting my exposed flesh.
The darkness was slowly fading as I made my way to the small house of Naruto. "Hello?" He asked sleepily, scratching the back of his head and yawning as he stood in the doorway in only his boxers. "Tsunade told me to tell you we leave at dawn." I said looking up at him with the stoic expressin I had so grown to hate.
My eyes seemed glazed, my breathing shallow and he looked at me with somthing akin to worry. "Sakura-chan... Are you sure you can handle this?" He asked looking at me though worried eyes. "Of course Naruto... I can do this." I said my eyes deceiveing my words.
"Naruto-kun... where'd you go?" Asked a very qiet Hinata Uzamaki. She came to the door, clad in a white robe. "Sakura-chan needed to tell me somthing about tomorrows mission is all." He replied pulling her close to him, and kissing her forehead.
"I have to go Naruto, see you in the morning." He nodded and I stepped back, letting the door close in on me, once more leaving me to the darkness of hell. I remember crying at Naruto's wedding, sure I was happy for him, and I realize that now, but I couldn't help but to feel lonely.
I had had the chance to be with him, and I had chosen not to, believeing I had made the wrong choice I had gotten drunk, an made a very disastrous profession to Neji, who in turn took me home, and held my hair back as I threw my guts up.
I turned down another dark road of Kanoha, searching for nothign and yet everything at the same time. Was I too naive to be a jounin of my rank? Did I make to hasty of decisions. I'm sure I did, but who could blame me, I had no-one left. My parents had died three months before Naruto's wedding due to an ambush on a B-rank mission.
I still remember that night, the darkness of it all, the hatred formed beneath my skin, the blood running cold and yet at boiling point. Weakness had always been my strongpoint, and I remember crying in the arms of Tsunade-sama as she had told me the devastating news.
So hard was it to forget that I had been decieved a life, in merely a choice. I had slowly become qiet, darkened, my voice hollower, my eyes shallower. The dreams I once had all but shattered as I tore them away like used paper, no longer could I be idealistic, in this cold, deadly, hell of a world.
Time was never on my side, but then again neither was love. I looked ahead, my eyes cold as I searched for the object of my pain, but of course, he would not be there. The dreams were faded, and darkened by his absense, and I no longer believed... No longer hoped for his return, but for his death, and there-after mine.
I want to die by his hands, and know that it's over, that I have no reason to forgive him. I want to feel pain from the wounds that he inflicts, mirroring the pain he inflicts on my heart. I want to stop my love from tormenting me, and the only path to that is destruction.
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"Kill me!" I screamed, the lighting striking at the same moment, lighting up the darkness that clouded my path. Would I give up? No! The death would come only from rejection, and rejection only from his lips.
The rain started to pour, drowning the cries that seemed so distant, and yet were me all the same. There were no tears staining my face, but the sky seemed to cry them for me. I looked up, my pain vanishing as I saw writen in the clouds a secret no-one else would ever know.
Hell is here, in my heart, hell is me, not just a part. Hell is mine, to deserve, hell is yours to cure.
OoO
Preview:
"Death brings hope?"
"I loved you!"
"You always were annoying."
"Time has not changed you."
"More weary have her eyes become?"
"Two times two makes four!"
"Blah, Blah, Blah! You make no sense!"
"Your crazy!"
"I'm dead..."
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