A/N: So I know this is quick but, I just felt like I couldn't get the story out of my mind. I just couldn't stop writing. So here it is the first chapter of Love Returned my sequel to Love Lost. I wanted to keep with the story that ALW did with Love Never Dies, but of course with my own spin. I am really excited to see how this goes and where the story leads me. The first chapter is really long but I didn't want to cut it into two chapters. Plus we had to see where Lorraine was now. Oh don't worry we'll still have Erik POVs those are some of my favorite to write. I'm going to try to stay on top of the story though.
Let me know what you think! Thanks guys!
Standing with the door to our apartment open I couldn't contain my impatience, we were running late. "Honey, I need you to hurry up! We're not going to have time to get breakfast!" I yelled into the next room.
"I'm coming I'm coming." A muffled voice came from the room. I hurt a thump and a small groan. "I can't put shoes on standing up." The voice got louder and a body appeared in the doorway to the living room. "I'm sorry Mom, I didn't mean to be so long. I couldn't find my library book."
I held out his book bag and jacket as he made his way for the door. "It's really okay we'll just grab something quick at the corner store today. I'll make us a special dinner to make up for it." As he grabbed his jacket and started putting it on, I smiled at how handsome my son was becoming. Gabriel was ten now and every day he was turning more and more into his father. His green eyes were a mirror image of Erik, and his curly hair was the same dark shade. I can't lie and say it didn't hurt, but it's just become second knowledge. I love my son more than anything, and nothing could change that.
I must have been unfocused because I was quickly being scolded by a ten-year old. "Mom, we have to leave." I shook my head to clear my thoughts and then quickly checked that we had everything we needed. I lead Gabe through the door and locked up our apartment.
As we made our way down the stairs we called out our 'good mornings' to our neighbors, not wanting to seem rude even in a hurry. Mrs. Noran, who lived on the fourth floor and a repeat sitter for Gabe stopped and offered us some muffins she made this morning and we each were grateful for the quick breakfast. Gabe thanked her as he already started stuffing his mouth. I laughed, "Have a great day, Mrs. Noran. We'll stop by this weekend for lunch one day. I'll bring something over." She smiled and waved us off.
We continued our descent and made it out onto the busy street. The city was already awake and moving and we started making our way down the street with the crowd. Gabe was going on and on about this new project that he had to work on over the next couple weeks and I let him go on. We would need a lot of craft supplies that I know we didn't already have but it would be a fun project to work on.
The walk wasn't terribly long to his school, we walked their every morning as long as the weather wasn't terrible. We would stop and grab breakfast at our favorite cafe in the morning and then I would walk him to the gates of his school.
Drifting out of my thoughts I smiled down at Gabe as he was still talking. We were almost to his school, glancing at my watch I was happy to notice that we were going to make it on time. "Sweetheart, how about this weekend we get all the stuff for your project and we'll get started." He nodded, "Yes! I want to start early."
I stopped walking when we made it to the gates of his school and stooped down to be face to face. "I'm going to have James pick you up today on his way to rehearsals, alright. I'll have a spot for you to do your homework." Gabe's eyes lit up, he loved James. "It'll be a late day again, rehearsals are almost over."
Gabe nodded, "Okay I'll see you after school Mom." I hugged him goodbye, lingering I hated leaving him even though he was only going to school. "I love you honey."
"I love you too Mom." I let him go and he made is way into school with the hoard of other students. I watched his mop of black hair blend in with the crowd then made my way to work.
I would walk to the music store after dropping Gabe off and work for most of the morning than I'd catch a cab to rehearsals. It was a hassle sometimes, but I loved my job and I wouldn't give up performing for the world.
Walking to work was my thinking time, where I'd have time to just think and I'd listen to my music and watch as the multitudes of people walked around me. It was during these quiet moments that I would feel the loneliness that I kept at bay sneak up on me. And I would think about what my life would be like if I was still with Erik. Since coming back all I've done is focus on making our life comfortable. It was a continuous effort, but it was worth every day.
Yet I couldn't help but make it difficult for myself. I wanted Erik, he stuck with me like a slow-burning coal in the pit of my stomach. Occasionally that weakness would show itself and I'd find myself a dark-haired man and for as long as I needed I would pretend. It was wrong, but I craved that intimacy which I could never have with who I wanted. And I never dragged the men along for long, I had responsibilities and I couldn't have men constantly coming in and out of Gabe's life. But nights can be lonely and sometimes all I wanted was the strong hands of a man who when I closed my eyes was who I needed.
The next song on my shuffle tore me out of my thoughts, the familiar music causing a tightness in my chest that made me rip the headphones away from my ears and turn off my music I didn't want to listen to that right now maybe later. I was a couple stores down from work and I paused looking at my watch. I had a couple moments, and I took a minute to compose myself before I clocked in. I needed to catch my breath. Thinking about Erik even now made me a little emotional.
Even though it's been over ten years since I've returned I can still remember every moment with Erik as if it happened yesterday. I needed to move on, but I just couldn't. I took a couple centering breaths then walked the remaining distance into work.
Sean was already sorting through the music when I walked in the door. "What's happening Lorraine?"
I smiled as I walked behind the counter shoving my belongings under it. "Not a whole lot just dropped Gabe off at school. It's been a tough week, rehearsals are kicking my ass but other than that it's been alright." Sean nodded in understanding, "You always love the stress of rehearsals though." I laughed in agreement.
"So what's on the agenda today?" Sean motioned around him, "Sort away peasant." I got out from behind the counter. "If you want you can leave early today, it's going to be slow and you could use the break before rehearsals." Sean told me as we got into our work. "Thanks Sean, that means a lot."
We got into sorting we held a steady stream of conversation about pretty much anything. He told me about how his girlfriend was doing and their decision to move in together. I was happy he was going through with it, she was a lovely woman. We've gone out as a group a couple times and every time I could see why Sean loved her.
It was when we were talking about the latest Josh Groban album that something weird happened. "All I'm saying is that he should release something new, I love his covers and even I have to admit that his "All I Ask of You" is really gre-" The bell over the door gave off a metallic ring as someone entered the shop, the noise is what caught my attention. We had a good couple dozen individuals in today but I always looked to see who was coming in, and this time the face made me freeze mid-sort.
It couldn't be. "Louis." His name slipped out before I could stop it. I don't know why I said it but the man who walked in had the same dark hair, although now cut in a modern style, and blue gray eyes that I remembered. As he walked over to me his walk was the same, I almost forgot how tall he was when he stopped next to me I saw the muscles through his sweater. Even I could appreciate how good looking this man was, even though he couldn't possibly be Louis.
"Good morning, cherie." I could feel the heat in my cheeks. "I've been wandering through every music store in this city all morning and I was wondering if you could help me."
I nodded, "Of course, my name's Lorraine. It'd be a pleasure to help you...?" I left it open for him to supply his name. "René." He smiled down at me.
"Well René, I would be happy to help however I can." The next half an hour we spend talking about concertos and I helped him pick one out as a gift for his grandmother, which I found out was the reason why he was so concerned about finding the right one.
As I was ringing him up, he was telling me the story about one of the times he visited his grandmother at her nursing home and how it made it to second base with one of the older ladies there. I was laughing as I handed his card back to him and wrapped his purchase up nicely.
"Well René, I hope your grandmother likes the gift." He nodded, "Me too." He went to walk away and stopped, "How about this, if she loves it. I'll have to come back and let you know. And if she doesn't... well then I'll come back to let you know she doesn't. How does next Friday at 8 sound?"
I couldn't believe it, "I suppose I'm free," I told him grabbing one of the business cards off the counter I wrote down my number and gave it to him. "Have a great day." Smiling, I followed his back as he walked out the store, taking the sight of his backside in as he left.
"That was one of the weirdest things that happened since I've moved here." Sean who oddly made himself scare during the whole ordeal made himself known. "What was so weird about that. He's hot, you're super hot, go forth and make beautiful babies so that Gabe has some siblings."
I ignored him, "He looks like someone I haven't seen in over a decade. Like exactly like them but the name's all wrong. I honestly never thought I'd see that face again in my entire life. And here it walks into my work." Sean looked at me when he noticed how freaked I was.
"Is this one of those unspoken of pre-New York things isn't it?" I nodded, I've know Sean almost as long as I've lived in New York and he knew as much as I could tell him without sounding like a complete loon.
"Well then it's only fair, go. Get out of here, go get one of those overpriced coffee drinks you like so well, relax a little bit, listen to that new Groban album and text me when you get to rehearsals. I want to know how they go." I reached down and grabbed my stuff from below the counter and pulled on my coat. "Thanks Sean, I owe you one. Also if I'm listening to Groban, you got to listen to the latest from some of the artists I like too for once."
"See you later babe." He yelled behind him as he went to the backroom. I shook my head as I left the store. I walked to the curb and motioned for a cab, checking my phone as I waited for the one that saw me to pull up. Sliding into the cab I told the man where I was going and sat back for the ride. I had a couple messages to look at and I needed to check my email.
Before I knew it the cabbie stopped and told me we made it, I thanked him handed him his money and headed out. I had a little while until I would need to get to practice. So I even though I resented the fact he knew me too well I walked into the nearest Starbucks and got my caramel macchiato and found a quiet spot to look over my script even though I really didn't need to.
The alarm I set on my phone alerted me that I needed to head over to rehearsals so I put my belongings away and tossed my empty cup in the trash, waving at the barista as I left.
Walking into the building I was immediately greeting by the feeling of being home. It felt right to be here, dancing and singing. I felt more at ease when performing. Looking at my watch James would be here within the hour with Gabe, so I got up to the stage and when behind the curtain. I found an empty vanity that he could use for homework and still be where I could see him. I laid my stuff down to keep it for him then shed down to my tights and undershirt, walking over to the group I started warming up.
We were all warming up, talking amongst ourselves even though we saw each other yesterday when the door opened up and James walked in followed by Gabe. "Hey Mom!" Gabe yelled waving as he made his way to the stage. I broke off from my group and met up with them as they climbed the stairs. "How was school honey?"
"Oh it was so much fun mother, I just didn't want to leave." James answered before Gabe could.
"Shut up nerd I was talking to my son." I leaned down to hug him hello, "I've missed you today. School was good?" He nodded, telling me about what he was going over in classes today.
I walked him over to the vanity and moved my stuff to the floor. "Here sit here and start on your homework. I have snacks in my purse if you're hungry. We'll have dinner when I'm done." I leaned down and kissed his forehead then made my way over to James. "How was he?"
"He was just fine darling, don't worry I love that kid. he could be a terror and I'd still look past it." I smiled, "Thanks for picking him up, I really do appreciate it, how about you come over for dinner tonight?"
"Honey I would never miss out dinner with my favorite family, I'll just tell Tyler to push our date to tomorrow." I went to fight him but he stopped me, "No, I haven't hung out with my number 1 lately and I've missed Gabe. I'll come home with you two."
Our choreographer motioned for our attention and we went to the group to get started.
X-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-X
James closed the door behind us as I dropped my belongs beside the door. Gabe did too, already having finished his homework at rehearsals. "Mom can I play my game?" I nodded, "Dinner will be a little bit so you can play until its ready." He went to his room where the sounds of video games made their way out into the apartment.
I walked over to the stereo and pushed play, the voices of the London Phantom cast filling the room. "Sorry I just feel like it's a Phantom moment, it's been a while since I've listened to it."
James just nodded as he walked into the kitchen, raiding my fridge. "It's on the bottom shelf behind the takeout boxes. I shoved them back their last night." He made a sound of triumph as he lifted the half full wine bottles in the air.
"I knew I could count on you Lorraine." He reached for the glasses out of the counter as I worked around him getting dinner ready.
"So how is Tyler doing? You've been together for awhile now." We went on like that talking about James' life and mine even though we've talked to each other every day. I told him about the weird run in I had with René at work this morning and he understood, he was one of the few who I talked to about pre-New York. There really wasn't anyone else I talked to about it or that I felt comfortable talking about it to so Sean and James were important to me.
"So other than that weirdness I have wonderful news. I got you and Gabe tickets to the American showing of Love Never Dies." It's in a couple weeks, but I thought you would like to take him for his birthday. I know your obsession with the Phantom and his as well so I'd like to think that I have out done myself." I smiled trying to be as happy about it as I could, I couldn't turn down such a great gift.
Gabe walked out of his room then, "Hey bud, you want to set the table dinner's almost ready." He nodded and went to grab the plates and silverware. Dinner was set out, wine was refilled, juice for the young one, and we enjoyed this moment with our weird little family. Conversation flowed, Gabe talked more about his day, and we talked about the show we would be seeing.
We all worked together cleaning up the dishes, then James got ready to leave. "You don't have to leave, you could sleep here?" He smiled by denied the offer, "Not tonight sweetheart, Tyler isn't at my place so I have to be their for the baby." 'Baby' of course meaning his dog. "I don't want to leave her alone."
"I understand, I'll see you tomorrow then." I hugged him tightly goodbye, then Gabe ran up and hugged him goodbye as well. "Bye munchkin, I'll see you two tomorrow." He closed the door behind him and I latched the locks.
"Alright you want to get cleaned up, then we can watch a movie before bed." I looked down at him, happy with how well the day went. He went to get cleaned up and I started straightening the apartment real quick.
I went into my room and took a deep breath, I was good. We were good. I looked around for the pajamas that I flung somewhere this morning and found them at the foot of my bed. I quickly changed then made my way out to the living room. I grabbed another glass of wine and sat down on the couch.
I was in the middle of a conversation with Sean when Gabe came out and laid down against me on the couch. "You ready for a movie bud?" He nodded. "You choose tonight, I don't care." He grabbed the remote and bringing up Netflix he chose the Karimloo version of Phantom. I couldn't say I was surprised.
We snuggled deeper together on the couch and watched as the movie played out on screen. I can't say I was alright, I started crying pretty quick but Gabe was used to me getting emotional about Phantom. He didn't know the truth though.
He just knew that his father was a great man, one who would be here with us if he could. He knew that his father was a wonderful, giving, talented musician. I couldn't tell him the truth because how do you tell your son that his father is the Phantom of the Opera.
I wrapped my arm around the small body next to me and in our own little world we spent the night with the man who was missing from our life, if only for a few hours. We both fell asleep on the couch too comfortable together to move to our beds.