Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran High School Host Club or its characters, but I do love to use them in my fanfictions.
A/N: About a year ago, a good friend of mine found out he had cancer. The doctors have come back and told him that it is incurable and he has less than a year. He is still fighting and I keep hoping the doctors are wrong. I know I have other stories I need to work on, but I needed to write this. I have known several people and family members who have fought the battle: some lost and some won. For those who have battled cancer or had a family member or friend battle cancer, this is for you. Thanks CrazyKitCat for listening to me, telling me to write it out, and for talking baseball with me. I needed it. For those that are reading this story, I apologize now if it is not my normal upbeat story. Thank you for always encouraging me and for reading my stories.
Chapter 1 - You're Not Alone
Haruhi sat there dumbfounded unable to say anything. This couldn't be right. This couldn't be real. The doctors had to be wrong about this! This couldn't be happening to her! But even her logical mind and her own eyes could not refute what was laid out before her, and this was to be her new reality.
Her eyes darted to her right. Plastered on the wall of lights, her mammogram stared back at her, the mass that should not be there, glaringly white and solid. A biopsy confirmed everything and now they were talking about next steps. She was sitting across from the doctor as he talked to her the he would any other patient, and she wanted to scream. This wasn't Sunday tea! This wasn't a simple conversation! Her whole life was about to change. Didn't he understand that? How could he be so calm when she felt ready to either throw-up or panic, maybe even both?
"-ioka? Fujioka-san?" The doctor calmly called out to his patient. He had seen that same expression many times before, and yet, it never got easier; especially when it happened to one so young who still had so much life to live. She had come alone today, whether because she was afraid of what she would hear or because she didn't feel an entourage was necessary for something so minor...regardless the reason, at this moment, he didn't want to continue with his news, and he wished she had someone beside her to hold her hand, to tell her she wasn't alone, and to offer some sort of support. From experience, he knew she would not want his comfort. "Fujioka-san, do you want me to call someone?"
The faces of her father and her six friends came to mind, but she immediately shook her head, "No." Her voice sounded strained and small, hoarse and weak. Clearing her throat, she began again, "No, I'll be fine." Did the doctor believe her lie, because she couldn't convince herself enough to believe it.
"Are you sure?"
"Sensei!" She held her breath and tried to calm herself down. It had not been her intention to snap at him, he was only worried about her well-being, but this was not something she had been prepared for, and therefore, she was not ready to share it with her friends. Her actions were so out of character, and she even lied to her own father and told him the appointment had been moved to the next day. Would everyone look at her differently now? Would they treat her like an invalid? She didn't want anything to change, but at the same time, it felt like her whole world had stopped and reversed itself overnight. Everything was about to change. She tried again, "Sorry, but please continue."
He nodded slowly, giving into her wishes, "All right. As I stated, we got the mass out, but that does not mean that all of the cancer cells have been eliminated. I want to start you on chemotherapy and based on the type of cancer you have, I also want to do a round of radiation after you have completed your first round of chemo."
"First round? Will there be multiple rounds? Do I need a mastectomy?"
Taking his glasses off, he gently laid them on his desk and said sadly, "I'm sorry, but yes. Although we caught the cancer early enough, it was more than just the mass. As for the mastectomy…yes."
"Okay. What else?"
"After the radiation, you will do another round of chemo. We will constantly monitor you and how well you are responding to treatment. I will also say that we are treating you aggressively and will be with you every step of the way. I have consulted with my partner and he is in agreement."
"I want…I want a second opinion," she stumbled over her words still in shock over the news she received.
"Of course. Personally, when it is something of this nature, I think it is always normal to want to get one and if it were me, I would want one as well. I trust in my abilities, but I can understand your position."
"I'll…" she stopped at a loss for words as her eyes filled with tears.
Again, the doctor wished she had someone with her. This was not easy to go through alone and if she had someone it might make things easier. Never before had he been relieved than at that single moment when a small knock came through the solid wood door. "Excuse me for a moment."
A few minutes later the door opened again, however, the person who entered was not her doctor. Taking a seat next to his friend, Kyoya spoke, "If you truly wanted this to be kept a secret, you should have picked a different hospital."
Her head snapped up and tears were still flowing down her cheeks as she hiccupped, "Kyoya-senpai?"
"I figured you may not want the others here, and keeping Tamaki in line right now would even try my patience and skills, however, I could not in good conscious allow you to attend alone."
"My dad could have been here."
"That is true, but I called him earlier and he said you were at the library studying trying to take your mind off of tomorrow's appointment."
"Did you tell the others that...?"
"I have told them nothing. They don't even know that something was found. Although, I am a bit offended that you would even hide something like this from us."
"I just didn't want…"
"We will discuss this later," he stated holding up his hand.
"How did you find out?"
"You are at my family's hospital, of course I would find out. In addition, I was here to discuss something with my brother, Yuuichi, and saw the file on his desk. He had been consulted about your case by your doctor. He wasn't going to tell me anything, however, once I knew something was going on, it didn't take that much to obtain the rest of the information. I will leave it to you on when to tell the others, but I would recommend sooner rather than later."
"And if I don't, will you tell them for me?"
"No. I will keep your secret, but I think you need to tell them. As Tamaki says, we are your friends, we are a family, and we are here for you. You really shouldn't have to go through this alone."
"I thought…I thought it wouldn't be anything major, but now…"
He wasn't sure why he did it, but he grabbed her hand and squeezed, "Now this isn't just a minor procedure."
"No."
Another knock at the door and the doctor stuck his head in and asked, "Is everything all right in here?" When he had exited his office and found the third son of the Ootori family standing in his waiting room, he had been more than a little shocked. This was the last person he expected to see, and then to find out he was there for Haruhi…needless to say, the doctor was surprised.
"Yes, sensei, please continue," Kyoya answered and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
The doctor felt as if he needed to walk on egg shells and if he made one mistake, he would be swimming with the fishes. Clearing his throat as he sat behind his desk again, he stated, "As I was telling Fujioka-san, we will do a mastectomy followed by chemo followed by radiation followed by another round of chemo. We will monitor her closely and will do everything we can for her. I also want you to see a nutritionist. They will be able to help you with a diet that will benefit you during this time."
Kyoya felt the grip on his hand tighten and he asked, "Doctor, what are her chances?"
"We were able to catch it early enough and got the mass out, however, this is still cancer we are dealing with. I do believe the odds are in her favor though and she should be able to beat this. She has stated she wants a second opinion, I assume you will provide her with names she can call?"
"Yes, I will schedule the appointments for her." He knew using his name would open doors that Haruhi alone could not open, and he and the other hosts would do almost anything for her. They all loved her and although she was still oblivious, choosing to still concentrate on her studies during her second year of university, at least four of the hosts hoped she would get a clue and pick one of them someday.
"Very well."
"When did you plan on starting her treatments?"
"I am sending her to the lab from here and then I want to schedule surgery for as soon as possible."
"Will I lose my hair?" Haruhi questioned, her head bent and she was looking at her lap.
Kyoya could feel how her hand trembled and sweated, and he wanted to comfort her, but was not exactly sure how to do that.
"There is a possibility that you will lose your hair. Your energy, libido, and appetite will also be affected."
Her face cringed as she mumbled, "I'm not worried about the libido."
They stayed in the office and discussed everything for another half hour, and then, still holding each other's hands, they left. Haruhi hadn't wanted anyone to know, hadn't wanted anyone there, and yet, she was relieved when Kyoya had arrived. Maybe she did need someone there with her today.
"I should charge you for keeping secrets," Kyoya grumbled as he walked towards the lab with his friend.
"Sorry. I just…"
"I know. And just so you know, although I am still in medical school, you can always talk to me about anything or ask questions. I do know quite a bit, my brother is a doctor, and my family owns hospitals. You will be taken care of."
"Thank you, senpai."
"Will you tell the others?"
"I don't have much of a choice. They will know something is going on and I would rather they hear it from me."
"Are you scared?"
Haruhi stayed silent for a few minutes and just as they arrived at the lab, she answered, "I am. I'm afraid of leaving my father and all of you. I'm afraid of losing my life. I'm afraid of losing everything. I don't want anything to change, but it is. What if I can't finish school? What if I…?" She couldn't say the word die.
"We will help you face each challenge as it comes, and you will not be alone in this. Life is about change, and I promise you, you will finish school, you will become a lawyer, and you will have everything you ever wanted in life."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because I do," he smirked and pushed up his glasses causing her to smile slightly. He actually wasn't sure and he couldn't guaranty anything, but he would do his damndest to make sure it happened just like that.
There was something comforting in his declaration and she took hold of that, would continue to hold it during her journey, and she would cherish his words long into the future.
And when she finally told her friends and father, there were tears, there were words exchanged, but most of all, there was love. Haruhi knew she would not have to go through this alone. Her friends and father supported her and would be there for her every day; and while she was still scared, she was ready to fight.
The chemo would make her sick, she would lose her hair, the radiation would hurt, but in the end she would come out on top.