A silver tear caressed Mail Jeevas cheek.
Mello's gone. L is dead. What's gone wrong? What did I do?
If L's death wasn't enough, now Matt had lost his best friend to the damn thing. Matt didn't like this entire scenario one bit.
Matt decided to pull his head out of this, his life was shitty enough before L had died and taken Mello away from him. So in order to distract his attention, the red-head decided to play some music and clean. Video games would get him nowhere at the moment.
The song Perfect by Hedley played into his ears through his iPod Shuffle.
Falling a thousand feet per second, you still take me by surprise.
Dammit, the gamer cursed mentally, This is going to bring me to tears.
Dammit Mello. You had to leave. You had to go. You had to leave me in the cold. I wish I could tell you I want you back. I love you Mihael Keehl, but my love isn't enough for you, is it?
I just know we can't be over, I can see it in your eyes.
Matt didn't want to believe his best friend had left him. No, he couldn't face it. It was like…It was like losing seventeen lives in a video game for the red-head. No, it would never happen.
Matt knew he would wake up the next morning to find Mello in the bunk above him, to find L still alive and Kira still doing the damn killings that chilled everyone to the bone. He would wake up to find it had all been a dream. It had all been a posh reality that he would never have to face.
Or so the red-head wished.
He knew Mello would never be back. He knew Mello was a bastard, but for some reason, the boy remained loyal to the blonde. He knew it was stupid, but he knew it was just his personality to stick by the blonde.
Matt knew they were finished as a terrifying silence filled the once chocolate scented dorm at Wammy's house.
Making every kind of silence, takes a lot to realize
It's worse to finish then to start all over and never let it lie.
The orange goggled boy hadn't even tried to clean in the many moments he had sat in the silence of his room. He knew it was worth nothing to try.
Mello, his thoughts whispered the blondes alias to himself. Mihael, come back.
Do you miss me Mihael? Are you crying yet? Or are you being a damned ignorant bastard and doing what you do best, ignoring the truth yet again?
And as long as I can feel you holding on. I won't fall, even if you said I was wrong.
Matt saw a memory flash through his mind of when Matt and Mello had been thirteen. A soft, loving moment had been shared between the two boys.
Mello sat in the room, chomping a piece of chocolate off of his newly started Hershey's bar.
"How can you stand chocolate Mello?" Matt now remembered himself asking the said blonde.
"How can you stand video games Mattie?" Mello asked in response.
"Mello, I really can't stand you sometimes, you know that?" Matt asked with a soft sarcastic laugh that made Mello shiver to the core.
"Yeah, but your still perfect like you promised you would be for me Matt," Mello responded, laughing with the said red-headed boy.
I'm not perfect but I keep trying cause that's what I said I would do from the start.
"I guess I did promise that, didn't I Mells?" Matt had asked in a soft, hushed voice.
"You did, and I promise I'll always be here for you Matt."
"Forever?" Matt asked like a little kid making a best friend forever.
"Forever Mattie."
Matt pulled himself out of the short memory.
Liar! Matt thought to the beat of the memory. You left me here all alone in the dark Mello! You went back on your word! You said you'd be here for me! You left me Mello!
Matt punched the wall in a swift, angry, movement that shook the entire room.
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave. Was it something I said or just my personality?
It's my fault you left me, Mello. I did something wrong, didn't I? I said one wrong word, and there you went, slipped away from me. It wasn't L's death; it was me the entire time… Did I say something or was it my personality?
Matt cried harder, but still silently now. Matt hated being lied to. It tore him apart inside. It made him feel like he had done something wrong.
It was always Matt's fault. The blame could always be traced back to the boy. It was always to be blamed on Matt.
It was still silent in the room, dark, and silent.
Night had someone crept its way into the once bright, happy, life filled room.
Mello used to laugh when I was like this… He used to comfort me in these times.
Making every kind of silence, It takes a lot to realize
It's worse to finish then to start all over and never let it lie.
Matt sighed. It was deathly lonely without Mello in the room. Without Mello there at all.
Mello, are you still alive for me? Are you wondering what I'm doing? Do you know that I miss you terribly? Matt's thoughts echoed in his head, bringing him to near tears.
And as long as I can feel you holding on. I won't fall, even if you said I was wrong.
Dammit Mello! I gave you my best! I gave you my all! It's not good enough for you, was it?
Matt's thoughts had transitioned from sorrow to anger in a matter of seconds.
Damn mood swings.
I know that I'm not perfect but I keep trying cause that's what I said I would do from the start.
As angry as Matt's thoughts were, he still blamed it all on himself. That it was his fault Mello had left Wammy's house in the first place. It was a terrible sense of dread mixed with anger and loneliness that bubbled inside of the boy.
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave. Was it something I said or just my personality?
I said the wrong thing, didn't I Mello? I did something in my actions to drive you away. I love you Mihael, I love you with all my heart.
Matt's thoughts were backing into sorrowful and depressed once more. His eyes began to water ferociously once more, and he took off his goggles, throwing them to the side of the room, where the met the wall with a loud BANG! type of sound that made him jump.
Mello had gotten him those goggles for his twelfth birthday, his first one he had spent at Wammy's House.
Matt had been living a lie back then, and Mello had gotten the truth out of him. Oh how Matt dearly missed the chocoholic blonde at the moment…. Oh what he'd give to hold him in his arms once more…
When you're caught in a lie, and you've got nothing to hide.
Matt heard his phone buzz lightly in his pocket.
Picking it up curiously, he saw that someone was trying to call him. The call was listed as Unknown on Caller ID, but he answered it anyway.
"Hello?" Matt asked into the speaker, and he heard a short raspy breath come from the other end.
"Matt…?" Came a too familiar voice on the other end of the line.
"Right here," Matt answered shortly, knowing who was on the other end.
Probably calling from a pay phone, seeing as he left his cell phone here on his bed. The idiotic bastard. Matt snarled to himself.
"Matt, it's Mello," the said blonde on the other line spoke, as if Matt hadn't figured it out already.
"I know," Matt snapped.
"Look, Matt, could you come with me to L.A? I need you with me Matt," Mello whimpered.
Mello sounded so hurt, so confused, that Matt actually felt bad for the blonde.
When you've got nowhere to run, and you've got nothing inside.
Matt sighed, knowing he was going to regret this later in life as he said in a soft whisper into the cell phone, "Where are you Mells?"
"At the airport, have been all day, I thought for sure you'd come follow me."
It tears right through me, you thought that you knew me, you thought that you knew..
"So what am I now? Your slave Mello? Am I supposed to follow after you like a puppy on a leash? I'll meet you at the airport Mello, but I am not your little puppy dog."
With the snarl that had formed on Matt's lips, he slammed the cell phone shut, nearly breaking it, grabbed his goggles and a few more pairs of clothes, his video games, Mello's cell phone and his own, shoved it all in a bag, and exited the room.
After a few rides in a taxi cab, Matt was at the airport.
He started his search for Mello, and found him in a second. The sign Mello held was inevitably out of character.
I'm sorry Matt.
The sign shocked Matt into forgetting all of the emotional pain Mello had put Matt through today.
Instead, Matt smiled, and went up to Mello, a cigarette hanging from his lips. He quickly took the cigarette out of his mouth, and pressed his lips to Mello's.
Oh how Matt felt perfect..
I'm not perfect but I keep trying cause that's what I said I would do from the start.
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave. Was it something I said or just my personality?
I'm not perfect but I keep trying cause that's what I said I would do from the start.
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave. Was it something I said or just my, just myself?
Just myself? Myself? Just myself?
I'm not perfect, but I keep trying.
Fin.
A.N: I know the ending is kind of cliché… But I wanted to get it over with. I'm not good with endings, but it's not the beginning or ending that matter to me, it's everything that happens in between that counts to this authoress. Anyway. Review? :3