The Double Palm Experiment

After finishing a dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, Sheldon and Amy crane their necks to observe another couple leaning over a nearby table with hands clasped together, staring lovingly into each other's eyes.

Sheldon sighs at the public display of affection. "I don't understand the propensity for mating couples to hold hands. Is that really necessary?"

"Perhaps they find it enjoyable to have some brief physical contact."

"They wouldn't be smiling if they knew how many microbes have taken up residence in the nooks and crannies of the palms of their hands."

Amy countered, "Apparently it's a risk they're willing to take."

"But I have a responsibility to the world, Amy, to protect myself from germs. How would the scientific community survive without my countless brilliant contributions? It's my unselfish duty to mankind."

"Nonetheless, I think we should give it a try, to better understand the emotions it evokes between two consenting adults."

Reluctantly Sheldon nods and agrees. "Okay."

Amy closes her eyes and holds her hand out, but Sheldon had disappeared. Then she sees him returning from the front checkout counter with a bottle of hand sanitizer. They slather several squirts of alcohol based hand sanitizer on their hands first, and then they both blow on their hands and shake them to make it evaporate.

"Okay, now we're ready. How shall we proceed?"

Amy suggests he offer his hands, palms up, at an appropriate distance, and she will place her hands in his.

"Is there anything else," he asks. "Should there be any kind of motion involved, stroking or squeezing perhaps?"

"Lets take this one step at a time, Sheldon."

"Oh yes, of course." They hold their hands out and nod to begin.

Both scientists look up and to the side thoughtfully for a few seconds.

Sheldon smiles. "Ooo, I like this! It feels warm and really soft, and you smell good up close, Amy."

"Thank you Sheldon." She leans in to whisper, "It's my secret."

"Well don't tell me, I'm no good at keeping secrets!"

"It's okay, that's the name of my deodorant, Morning Fresh Secret."

"Oh," Sheldon looked slightly embarrassed. "Well, is there any more or is this experiment over now?"

"It is if you want it to be," Amy replied. "I have plenty of data to analyze, but I think we have all of the preliminary information."

Sheldon had an idea, "Amy, how would you feel about augmenting this study to include a second or third experience involving hand holding."

Amy smiled. "I would agree to that. Good night, Sheldon."

Sheldon smiled, too. "Good night Amy Farrah Fowler."